. . . between the Atlantic and Pacific called the United States of America. The people there lived in freedom. They did as they pleased, went where they wanted, surfed the internet, practiced the religion of their choice, went to school, ate what they wanted, and spoke freely. Life in the USA became so good that the common Ignorant Ones did not notice a threat coming toward them. The Ignorant Ones elected a President named Wilson who believed that the Smart Ones must care for the Ignorant Ones. Other Smart Ones followed, and built on his platform. Another president named Roosevelt also decided the Ignorant Ones could not take care of themselves. So he gave them Social Security, and the New Deal.
Then, President Johnson decided the Ignorant Ones needed a Great Society, and he made sure they got it. He needed money to pay for the Great Society, so he took some back from Ignorant Ones who were getting Social Security. They will never miss it he said. It is for the good of everyone. All the Ignorant Ones will benefit, and the Smart Ones will get more.
Along came President Clinton. He wanted to give all the Ignorant Ones a free house. Everyone should live the American Dream. He signed a law to make the banks lend money to everyone to buy a house. When the banks said “no,” to the Ignorant Ones because they could not afford it, he sent ACORN to picket until they gave in. Eventually, millions of the Ignorant Ones owned the American Dream. Meanwhile, the Smart Ones prospered more.
Eventually, a silver-tongued fox named Obama spoke to the Ignorant Ones. He hypnotized them with lyrical poetry, and his smartness. They named him The One. While they were in The One’s trance, he promised to change the greatest country in the world. “Amen,” shouted the Ignorant Ones, “Go for it.” They voted for him to be their great leader.
The One, came into power and immediately hired Radical Ones to set his policy. Like ants on a hill, they went about changing the greatest country in the world to remove freedoms from the Ignorant Ones. The One’s lyrical speech hypnotized the Congressional Ones, and Senate Ones to vote for radical laws. All of the new laws took from the Ignorant Ones and lined the pockets of the Smart Ones. The One chastised bankers for giving themselves raises for giving the American Dream to the Ignorant Ones. He called them Fat Cats, except the banks that he kept for himself. Those banks he called “Smart Ones.”
The USA was the most powerful country in the world, and Lesser Countries looked up to the USA. They were insanely jealous of the USA’s freedom and success. The Smart Ones said, “War is bad.” The Lesser Countries said, “Three cheers for the USA, they finally got it.” Obama said, “We must weaken the most powerful country so everyone will love us.” We need to destroy all of our nuclear weapons, and let the Lesser Countries develop their own. That way the Lesser Countries can annihilate our allies.
The Smart Ones created new policies that destroyed jobs. The Ignorant Ones became more dependent on the Smart Ones to give them aid. The aid came from taxing the Ignorant Ones. The Ignorant Ones became slaves to the Smart Ones, and bowed before them.
That is the story of how the Smart Ones changed the greatest country in the world into the least respected, and least powerful. The Ignorant Ones in all the Lesser Countries were happy because the Ignorant Ones in the USA were the same as in the Lesser Countries. The Ignorant Ones in the USA were sad.
In the end, the Smart Ones lived happily ever after, while the Ignorant Ones, their Ignorant Children, their Ignorant Grandchildren, and their Ignorant Great Grandchildren worked their asses off wearily ever after.
Filed under: Cartoons, Conservative, economy, Election, family, liberals, politics, Satire, Society | Tagged: Acorn, American Dream, Clinton, Fairy Tale, Fat Cats, FDR, Great Society, Johnson, New Deal, Nuclear Weapons, Obama, Silver Tongued Fox, slavery, Social Security, taxes, The One, Wilson | 3 Comments »
