An Old Farmer’s Advice:

Cut from an anonymous donor on Facebook

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered…not yelled.

* Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies, it messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.

* Don’t judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good and honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.

* Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin’ you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is to stop diggin’.

* Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every mornin’.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.

* If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

*Leave the rest to God.

Narcissistic Old Man

With the weather being nasty the past week I have not gotten to the library to pick new books. I was so desperate for something to read I began a search of my book shelves. There in my secretariat, on the lower shelf, I spotted the familiar white cover booklet that I made. It’s been fifteen years since I wrote and bound my vignettes into books. It was time to open the covers and to relive the moments of my childhood that I cherished enough to spend considerable time to record them. I titled the work “Jun-e-or, Recollections of Life in the Nineteen Forties and Fifties.” The title is also part of me. My parents who were very European spoke very broken English until the day they died. I also had an older brother named Joe after our father. Brother Joe tragically died at age seven from scarlet fever. My Dad didn’t have a middle name and neither did my brother. To differentiate which Joe was being addressed in conversation Dad was Senior and brother was Junior. Yep, you got it, they didn’t pronounce junior as junior they pronounced it as jun-e-or. A few years after Joe Jun-e-or died I was born, and named after my father. My parents called me Jun-e-or for the remainder of their lives. Everyone in the neighborhood knew me as Jun-e-or. I wasn’t just plain Joe until I left for college.

There are three volumes to this story. Each is a collection of vignettes about my earliest recollections up until college. I suppose I could have continued with additional volumes to cover the years in between volume three and today, but frankly I don’t have that many memorable memories from that period of sixty-seven years. Sad, isn’t it? Finishing the story about those years is a good project for my bucket list.

The book I picked up to re-read was volume three which describes life as a pre-teen, my toys, my hobbies, school, and neighborhood activities. I actually enjoyed reading these short stories again. I kept looking for ways I would improve the writing if I had to, but honestly, except for one story, I wouldn’t change a thing. Because it was all about me and my interests it kept me awake, I’m not sure what you or my friends would say. Except I do know what a few of them have said. I have on occasion loaned a single volume out to friends, and they have commented that they enjoyed the nostalgia of reliving in the old neighborhood. They saw the old places and saw themselves in some of the stores and places I described.

I’ll finish reading the remaining two volumes in reverse order. The second book is about my time on the farm with my mother’s father. The strange thing about this work is that I totally left out anything that happened with my brother and sister. It is as though they didn’t exist. That worries me because it implies that I am self centered and narcissistic, and I hate that in other people.

If you are at all interested in reading one of these volumes it is available on Amazon for free. Click on the book icon on the right side of my blog and it will take you right to it.

121219-PSA-Drink More Water

A friend sent me this important piece of information. Since I am in this over sixty group and most of my friends are too, I decided to pass it on.

Very interesting info that, quite frankly, I never thought about.

By: Arnaldo Liechtenstein, physician

Whenever I teach clinical medicine to students in the fourth year of medicine, I ask the following question:  What are the causes of mental confusion in the elderly?

Some offer: “Tumors in the head”. I answer: No!

Others suggest: “Early symptoms of Alzheimer’s”. I answer No!

With each rejection of their answers, their responses dry up.

And they are even more open-mouthed when I list the three most common causes:

– uncontrolled diabetes

– urinary infection

– dehydration

It may sound like a joke, but it isn’t. People over 60 generally stop feeling thirsty and consequently stop drinking fluids.

When no one is around to remind them to drink fluids, they quickly dehydrate.

Dehydration is severe and affects the entire body. It may cause abrupt mental confusion, a drop in blood pressure, increased heart palpitations, angina (chest pain), coma and even death.

*This habit of forgetting to drink fluids begins at age 60, when we have just over 50%of the water we should have in our bodies. People over 60 have a lower water reserve.

This is part of the natural aging process.*

But there are more complications. Although they are dehydrated, they don’t feel like-drinking water, because their internal balance m mechanisms don’t work very well.

*Conclusion:*

People over 60 years old dehydrate easily, not only because they have a smaller water supply, but also because they do not feel the lack of water in the body.

Although people over 60 may look healthy, the performance of reactions and chemical functions can damage their entire body.

So here are two alerts:

1) *Get into the habit of drinking liquids*. Liquids include water, juices, teas, coconut water, milk, soups, and water-rich fruits, such as watermelon, melon, peaches and pineapple; orange and tangerine also work.

*The important thing is that, every two hours, you must drink some liquid. Remember this!*

2) Alert for family members: constantly offer fluids to people over age 60. At the same time, observe them.

If you realize that they are rejecting liquids and, from one day to the next, they are irritable, breathless or display a lack of attention, these are almost certainly recurrent symptoms of dehydration.  Inspired to drink more water now?? Send this information out to others!  Your friends and family need to know for themselves and help you to be healthier and happier.  It’s good to share! *For people over 60*

Old People In Their Underwear

This week I spent an enjoyable evening with my Tuesday night wine group. Ten of us meet weekly to imbibe on the delicacies of grapes fermented and allowed to become what we fondly refer to as wine. The youngest among us is fifty-seven a mere child, and the oldest I am proud to proclaim was me at eighty-three. We started out slowly as usual, but as we began tasting the various bottles like Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, our psyches began to open up and we began to brainstorm. One among us told of his son who wanted to find himself with a career on Youtube. We all looked rather stunned and questioned how in the hell is someone going to make a career out of Youtube?

I turned to Kay who a few meetings back had told me about her grandson and his girlfriend who were making money on their Youtube channel. “Look up Mariah and Bill” on Facebook and you will see their antics. I did. They are a cute couple who specialize in video taping themselves doing various dumb pranks none of which are more than a few minutes long. I thought to myself they have a following that nets them a five figure income every month. It is hard to imagine for an old goat like myself as to how someone can make money on Youtube, but it turns out to be rather simple. If you were to create a Youtube channel for your videos and get people to watch it you could indeed make money at it. I’d say that maybe twenty percent of the people who try this are successful and eighty percent are not. It is a matter of building audience. Every time I watch a video on Youtube the presenter asks me to like his channel and to follow him. When a presenter’s following reaches a certain number, Youtube begins earning money from advertisers, and that is when you begin to get fraction of the advertising income from Youtube. So the simple steps to success are to 1. create content, and 2. build a following.

Getting back to my wine club meeting. I interrupted the conversation to ask Kay to tell us about her grandson’s experience with Youtube. She proceeded to amaze us with the story of Mariah and Bill on Youtube. Bill is now twenty years old, but he began this endeavor when he was eighteen. Today, she said he makes sixty thousand dollars a month doing these stupid funny videos. Then it happened. the focus of the meeting was a discussion on how we could do the same as a group of seniors making money of Youtube. Our friend John piped up, “we could start filming old people in their underwear.” we all laughed hilariously, then began to offer ideas for clips like wearing thongs and speedos, or vintage versus modern, etc. I piped up that I’d like to see the women in the group in their thongs, they all moaned. Then I said “I have a vision of us all wearing TENA diapers.” another longer and louder moan.

The night went on for several minutes of new ideas and lots of laughter. Although it began as a stupid idea, I thought why not? Instead of “Mariah and Bill” about two twenty year olds we could film “Kay and Joe” about two eighty year olds mimicking their grandchildren’s antics and posting them on Youtube and TicTok. Maybe we could supplement our meager retirement income with a shot of new money. If nothing else we would offer the viewing audience some serious laughter. At worst we would have a lot of fun doing something out of the ordinary for senior citizens.

Take a look at the linked videos and tell me if you think Kay and Joe have a chance to be stars of Youtube and TikTok

Out of the Darkness, Into the Light

Yesterday I came close to losing it. The day was a typical dark, dreary, and rainy December late fall day. After so many years experiencing the same symptoms in the same months I have self diagnosed myself with Light Affective Disorder or LAD. It affects my mood, and causes me to become lethargic, energy-less, and sad. All I want to do is eat, sleep, and cry too. Fortunately, for me I can overcome most of the symptoms and make a day of it. Yesterday was a losing one. Finally, after finishing reading a Tom Clancy book my mood began to pick up. I called a restaurant and made reservations for two for supper(note the emphasis on food). We left in the dark at 4:45 to make a five o’clock reserve at a restaurant we have never been to. Upon arriving, the police had Main Street blocked off. Change plans, go around the block and come in from another direction. The other end of Main was also closed. The restaurant was in between the two blockades. I envisioned a gas leak or some other disaster pending, not knowing why all the emergency vehicles were there I decided to change plans again and go to a place that we know very well. There was to be no adventure on this evening.

At Docks restaurant, I asked the owner what was going on down at Main. His answer surprised me because the day was so rotten. It seems they block that section of Main to cater to a Village festival every Sunday from 1 – 5 and allow crowds to walk freely from business to business without traffic concerns.

After dinner we explored a neighborhood to see some Christmas lights. A couple of days ago I was touring on Google maps and came across a house that was marked as Czyz Family Light Show. It was worth the effort to find it in the dark, and I’ll go to see it again.

I read some more before retiring and then made a huge mistake at 11:00 p.m. Normally, I turn off and go to bed, but this time, instead of turning out the light and closing my eyes to sleep I turned on Amazon Prime Video and found a movie. For whatever reason I watched a Mark Wahlberg movie called Joe Bell. Mark’s performance as the father of a gay boy got to me and held my attention till the end which I hated, but ends are ends, and that is all I can say. I finally turned off the lights and closed my eyes at 12:40 a.m.

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