Butt Up Time

Over the years I have passed many yard ornaments consisting of ladies with very large derrières facing the street while in front of their flower garden. They always brought back memories of my own mother bent over at the hips pulling weeds. II wondered why do they do that? Wouldn’t it be easier to kneel down and pull weeds that way? Today I realized the answer to my question. I attacked our small vegetable patch with a vengeance removing two seasons worth of wild growth. My advice to gardeners is this, never, never, never, never allow a garden to go wild for two years. Nature has a rule which is to recover from man’s attempt to over rule it in any way shape or form as quickly as is possible.

I thought I had the problem solved when I first initiated the garden plots. I boxed them off from the lawn to slow the growth of grass and weeds into the valuable vegetable space. Slowed is putting it mildly. Within one season the grass had grown under the wooden framing and was taking over the interior. To make matters worse there were a few trees that had started from seed that had roots nearly to China, and in between patches of bluegrass were tough wild specimens of thistle. In the middle of it all stood three clumps of green onions the last reminder of anything edible within the borders of our meager vegetable patch.

Digging and pulling weeds firied up the neurons within the nervous system through my back, knees, hips, and neck. A reminder to never, never, never, never allow a garden to go to weed for two years. It took me about an hour of said exercise to remember why my mother bent at the hips to pull weeds. I chose to go down on my knees, but getting back up became more strenuous and my knees screamed at me for doing so.

By the end of the pull, I too was bent at the hip with my butt pointing toward the sky reaching to tear the grass from the ground. It is time to fill the jacuzzi with TBD oil and to jump in for an hour.

And, that is my story of how the term “butt up time” originated, and I’m sticking to it.

Christmas In April?

Joe Biden throwing money at the world

Well, I watched it last night, and I have to give Biden an “A” on his delivery. He lasted the entire time with just a few hints of a stutter. His delivery seemed sincere, and I liked some of the new things he is promoting. What I didn’t like was his border control. I also don’t like the cost of the package, because it will most likely be paid for by me. I just sent Uncle money to even out my tax bill. At the same time I am seeking health insurance for my new spouse who is undocumented, and needs health insurance. I applied thru the latest version of Obama Care and was stymied by the program. It seems that theology-on goes into a loop asking for a password. Once I gave it a password, it returned to the same opening page which wanted my user name, and you guessed it a new password. Once I entered a new password, it looped again. After three times, I called the happy number on my digital phone only to get a voice that’s totally unintelligible. I shut my cell off and used a land line. It worked. The problem is that the guy who spoke to me could not resolve my problem. I finally went to a an insurance agency referred by a friend of a friend and spoke to an agent. Thank God, this person was in business and could answer my questions. Had she worked for Uncle like the last guy I spoke to I’d be babbling like an idiot.

Insurance is available, but I still lack knowledge of the cost. The agent told me that my meager retirement allotment puts me just above the line to get the insurance for zero.

How in the world will the Federal government be able to provide all these new programs when they are still struggling to implement ObamaCare after twelve years and are still hung up on getting through the portal. That program, as I recall, cost us several billion dollars to implement. Multiply all the new goodies Uncle Joe promised us by the billions spent on O-Care and then add twelve years to that and we will have a living nightmare on our hands.

I heard all the wonderful challenges Joe gave the Congress to get it done, but I agreed with his jibes to get them off their asses and to make things happen. He kept telling us “we can do this,” but will we, or better yet should we?

What I wanted him to tell us is that he is cancelling all the bureau’s and starting the government from scratch. All monies will be returned to those from whom it is being stolen, and we will let the economy straighten things out in the free market way.

So there you have it, the dreams of two Joe’s. Both of us are giving the store away, one by enlarging the bureaus and the other by eliminating them.

Which dream would you support?

Who Me? Normal?

 I used to be a normal person Yes, I reckon that’s a fair description of me. 

As an individual, I used to think I was pretty much just a regular person, but I was born white, into a two-parent, two gender household which now, whether I like it or not, makes me “Privileged”, a racist and responsible for slavery. 

I am fiscally responsible and moral, which by today’s standards, makes me a fascist because I plan, budget and support myself. 

I went to school, worked my way “up the ladder”, and have always held a job. But I now find out that I am not here because I earned it, but because I was “advantaged”. 

I am heterosexual, which according to “gay” folks, now makes me homophobic. 

I am not a Muslim, which now labels me as an infidel. 

I am older than 60, making me a useless person who doesn’t understand Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. 

I think and I reason, and I doubt much of what the “mainstream” media tells me, which makes me a “Right-wing conspiracy nut”. 

I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive culture, making me a xenophobe. 

I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me anti-socialist and probably a misogynist. 

I believe our system guarantees freedom of effort – not freedom of outcome or subsidies which must make me a borderline sociopath. 

I believe in the defense and protection of the USA for and by all its citizens, now making me a militant. 

I am proud of our flag, what it stands for and the many who died to let it fly, so I stand during our National Anthem – so I must be a racist. 

Please help me come to terms with the new me because I’m just not sure who I am anymore! If all this nonsense wasn’t enough to deal with, now I don’t even know which restroom to use… and I have to go more FREQUENTLY! 

A Refresher For Those Who Never Knew

Firearms Refresher Course

  • “Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not.” ~Thomas Jefferson.
  • “Those who trade liberty for security have neither.” ~ John Adams.
  • Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
  • An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
  • Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them.
  • Gun control is not about guns; it’s about control.
  • You only have the rights you are willing to fight for.
  • Know guns, know peace, know safety. No guns, no peace, no safety.
  • You don’t shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
  • Assault is a behavior, not a device.
  • 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
  • The United States Constitution (c) 1791. All Rights Reserved.
  • The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others.
  • What part of ‘shall not be infringed’ do you NOT understand?
  • Guns have only two enemies; rust and politicians.
  • When you remove the people’s right to bear arms, you create slaves.
  • The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.

 

If you agree, pass this ‘refresher’ on to ten free citizens.

“I love this country, it’s the government I’m afraid of.”

Defining Who We Are

WASN’T THIS US? 

A little house with three bedrooms,

one bathroom and one car on the street.

A mower that you had to push

to make the grass look neat.

In the kitchen on the wall

we only had one phone,

And no need for recording things,

someone was always home.

We only had a living room

where we would congregate,

unless it was at mealtime

in the kitchen where we ate.

We had no need for family rooms

or extra rooms to dine.

When meeting as a family

those two rooms would work out fine.

We only had one TV set

and channels maybe two,

But always there was one of them

with something worth the view.

For snacks we had potato chips

that tasted like a chip.

And if you wanted flavor

there was Lipton’s onion dip.

Store-bought snacks were rare because

my mother liked to cook

and nothing can compare to snacks

in Betty Crocker’s book.

Weekends were for family trips

or staying home to play.

We all did things together —

even go to church to pray.

When we did our weekend trips

depending on the weather,

no one stayed at home because

we liked to be together.

Sometimes we would separate

to do things on our own,

but we knew where the others were

without our own cell phone.

Then there were the movies

with your favorite movie star,

and nothing can compare

to watching movies in your car.

Then there were the picnics

at the peak of summer season,

pack a lunch and find some trees

and never need a reason.

Get a baseball game together

with all the friends you know,

have real action playing ball —

and no game video.

Remember when the doctor

used to be the family friend,

and didn’t need insurance

or a lawyer to defend?

The way that he took care of you

or what he had to do,

because he took an oath and strived

to do the best for you.

Remember going to the store

and shopping casually,

and when you went to pay for it

you used your own money?

Nothing that you had to swipe

or punch in some amount,

and remember when the cashier person

had to really count?

The milkman used to go

from door to door,

And it was just a few cents more

than going to the store.

There was a time when mailed letters

came right to your door,

without a lot of junk mail ads

sent out by every store.

The mailman knew each house by name

and knew where it was sent;

there were not loads of mail addressed

to “present occupant.”

There was a time when just one glance

was all that it would take,

and you would know the kind of car,

the model and the make.

They didn’t look like turtles

trying to squeeze out every mile;

they were streamlined, white walls, fins

and really had some style.

One time the music that you played

whenever you would jive,

was from a vinyl, big-holed record

called a forty-five.

The record player had a post

to keep them all in line

and then the records would drop down

and play one at a time.

Oh sure, we had our problems then,

just like we do today

and always we were striving,

trying for a better way.

Oh, the simple life we lived

still seems like so much fun,

how can you explain a game,

just kick the can and run?

And why would boys put baseball cards

between bicycle spokes

and for a nickel, red machines

had little bottled Cokes?

This life seemed so much easier

and slower in some ways.

I love the new technology

but I sure do miss those days.

So time moves on and so do we

and nothing stays the same,

but I sure love to reminisce

and walk down memory lane.

With all today’s technology

we grant that it’s a plus!

But it’s fun to look way back and say,

Hey look guys, THAT WAS US!

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