I just discovered my age group!
I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager)
I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 50-60 years later.
I don’t have to go to school or work
I get an allowance every month.
I have my own pad.
I don’t have a curfew.
I have a driver’s license and my own car.
I have ID that gets me into bars and the wine store.  I like the wine store best..
The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant, they aren’t scared of anything, they have been blessed to live this long, why be scared?
And I don’t have acne.
Life is Good!  Also, you will feel much more intelligent after reading this, if you are a Seenager.
Brains of older people are slow because they know so much.
People do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains.
Scientists believe this also makes you hard of hearing as it puts pressure on your inner ear.
Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they get there, they stand there wondering what they came for.
It is NOT a memory problem, it is nature’s way of making older people do more exercise.
I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names!
So, please forward this to your friends; they may be my friends, too!
Thank you

Fence Me In



I grew up listening to a cowboy song called “Don’t Fence Me In.” The lyrics brought one to imagine living in a place so large and so free that it was eden like.

Don’t Fence Me In
Oh give me land, lots of land, and the starry skies above
Don’t fence me in
Let me ride through the wide open country that I love
Don’t fence me in
Let me be by myself in the evening breeze
And listen to the murmur of the cottonwood trees
Send me off forever but I ask you please
Don’t fence me in
Just turn me loose, let me straddle my old saddle on
Underneath the western skies
On my cayuse, let me wander over yonder
Till I see the mountains rise
I want to ride to the ridge where the West commences
To many words, gaze at the moon till I lose my senses
And I can’t look at hobbles and I can’t stand fences
Don’t fence me in
Oh give me land, lots of land, and the starry skies above
Don’t fence me in
Let me ride through the wide open country that I love
Don’t fence

When I hear arguments from liberals about against a border fence I wonder if it is because they were raised hearing this song. Since one has to be a septuagenarian to know this song it can’t be the reason, because there are not that many of us.
Even though I loved this song when I was twelve times have changed and so has my body clock. Now, I want to be fenced in, i.e. into the United States. The idea of being fenced inside a nursing home still repulses me. I’d sooner live with the rattle snakes than in a holding tank for the grim reaper. Perhaps in another ten years I will change my mind and look forward to being tended to by lovely women paid to humor me.
I see the border fence as a necessity like the Great Wall Of China, and Hadrian’s wall in England.  Neither of those walls was fool-proof but one doesn’t see too many foreigners living in China. I see the wall along our southern border to control the influx of foreigners. We need foreigners to make up for all the native babies being aborted yearly. Combine abortions with the lack of young women bearing children and our population is in jeopardy of extinction. Let us screw for recreation without bearing the responsibility of rearing the offspring, and by the way let our women do the same, except, we want our women to feed us, keep our clothes and homes clean just as they did in primitive days, but they don’t have to raise kids. We just want them around to feed our libidos, and to make repeated trips to the frig to run a long neck to our loungers while we view Cro-magnon men bully each other on the grid-iron, and kneel during the playing of our national anthem.
What we really need is a fence with an occasional break in it to allow people to get into our mecca. Uncle Sam will build huge welcoming centers at each opening to process the millions of people eager to begin washing all those dishes in all our restaurants across the country.
The processing centers will do things like conduct back-ground checks, and issue visas to make the visitor compliant with our laws. Of course Mexico will go to war with us on this matter because the many Coyotes employed to smuggle people in will become jobless. The Drug cartels will have to build an army of trebuchets to launch huge packages of drugs over the fences. Caterpillar will sell Mexico billions of dollars worth of mining equipment to bore tunnels under the wall large enough to allow semi-trucks filled with drugs to enter. The wall will be good for business, and the immigrants too. Why? Because they will lose the illegal moniker and be qualified for all benefits without us being able to complain about it. Democrats will be happy too, because they will register all the new entrants to vote at the same time they are issued visas.
The EPA will raise hell with the wall because the lizards will be unable to move freely, and their yearly migration patterns will be disturbed causing the lizard population to head toward extinction. No lizards? What will the rattle snakes eat?
The USA will also have to go to  war with Mexico again to take some more land. We need the Rio Grande to be within the USA. That way we can build the wall on our land south of the river and not worry about how to build the wall down the middle of the river. Of course we couldn’t build the wall on our side of the river because that would cede ground to Mexico.
I wonder how the graffiti artists will make out? The paint companies will cash in supplying spray cans of the primary colors so the artists of both countries could express themselves freely upon the new surface. Travel agents will prosper by selling tours along each side of the wall to view the graffiti. Think of the many fiestas that could be planned along the wall to celebrate feast days. We would have enough room to display giant portraits of every president and his mistresses. People would flock to see the spectacle just as we do to see Mount Rushmore.
I intended this piece to be a satire on liberal attitudes toward the fence, but instead it evolved into a fun time brainstorming possibilities the fence will yield.
I can’t wait to book my fence graffiti tour!


PSA-180208-Philosophy 100


A newlywed young man was sitting on the porch on a hot, humid day, sipping iced tea with his father.
As he talked about adult life, marriage, responsibilities, and obligations, the father thoughtfully stirred the ice cubes in his glass and cast a clear, sober look on his son.
“Never forget your friends,” he advised, “they will become more important as
you get older.”
“Regardless of how much you love your family and the children you happen to have, you will always need friends. Remember to go out with them occasionally, do activities with them, call them.”
“What strange advice!” Thought the young man. “I just entered the married world, I am an adult and surely my wife and the family that we  will start will
be everything I need to make sense of my life.”
Yet he obeyed his father. He kept in touch with his friends and annually
increased their number. Over the years, he became aware that his father
knew what he was talking about. Inasmuch as time and nature carry out their designs and mysteries on a  man, friends were the bulwarks of his life.
After 75 years of life, here is what he learned:
   Time passes.
    Life goes on.
    Distance separates.
    Children grow up and become independent; it breaks the parents’ hearts,
but the children become separated from the parents.
   Jobs come and go.
   Illusions, desires, attraction, sex … weaken.
   People do not do what they should do.
   The heart breaks.
  The parents die.
   Colleagues forget the favors.
  The races are over.
But true friends are always there, no matter how many miles away they are or
for how long. A friend is never more distant than the reach of a need,
intervening in your favor, waiting for you with open arms or blessing your life.
When we started this adventure called LIFE, we did not know of the incredible joys or sorrows that were ahead. We did not know how much we would need
from each other. Love your parents, take care of your children, and keep a
group of good friends too.


I Feel Better Now

A few days ago I watched the State of the Union Message by President Donald Trump. Unlike the previous eight SU’s that I watched I wasn’t nauseated this time, except for one thing. I never realized there was a huge handicapped seating section in the Senate chamber. All the Democrats who wore themselves out jumping, clapping and cheering for Mr. Smooth over the past eight years seemed to have suddenly become paralyzed. Even I had some positive thoughts about some of Smoothy’s ideas, but when he spoke about being able to keep my doctor, or give me a trillion dollars for some shovel ready jobs my positivism disappeared  (later Obama admitted that there were no Shovel Ready jobs). Right now all the paralyzed democrats are railing against infra-structure projects because they don’t see where the money is going to come from. I say to them, “dig deep into your coffers and pull out the trillion that Smoothy talked you out of for the shovel ready infra-structure. Oh, he squandered it? Then why would you be so worried about where it will come from now?

President Trump’s speech was a model of positive thinking. He really never mentioned anything negative, but did keep repeating over and over that in this new economic climate if you can’t make it, you are not trying. I don’t remember exactly but it might have been at the point when Trump said that we are a nation that respects our flag, when Luis Gutierrez Democrat Congressman from Chicago jumped out of his seat and ran out of the room to keep from shitting his pants. You see, Luis and his people will have to work again. Oh, you say his people are our people? Not according to Luis his people are special and deserve the best treatment at the cost to the rest of us, and he has dedicated his life to protect them. He doesn’t care if his people don’t assimilate into American Society. All he wants is his cut from which he will throw his people a bone now and then.

I particularly liked the way Trump worked all types of citizens into his speech to make some serious points. Like the kid who didn’t like that there were no flags on Veteran graves on flag day so he started a movement to buy flags and to place them on the graves. I say, that at age 13 or 14 he did a great job. Or how about the cop with four or five kids of his own who adopted the baby of a seriously heroin addicted mother so she could die knowing her child would be taken care of. Now that takes a positive thinker and someone with courage. Or the big guy who lost his job and took advantage of jobs training to become a welder. (He is the only one I ever heard of that ever came out of government job training class and got a job). In each case Trump made a positive point using the personal stories of his guests.

The sad part about all of this is the democrats kept sitting on their fat asses throughout. The camera caught Nancy Pelosi, with a face that could stop a clock, repeatedly swishing her tongue over her teeth to clear the bits of the great meal she inhaled before the speech.

Over-all I thought the President’s speech was a tad bit too long, but I sat through it gladly knowing that all the democrats fumed throughout.

Each time I heard Trump speak of unity and coöperation and doing what is best for the country, all I could think of is that eliminating democrats just as we are eliminating ISIS is what is best for the country. In my lifetime, I knew of politicians both democrat and republican who could do exactly what we long for today. They could argue their points against each other, yet still reach a united compromise that was good for the country. Two names in Particular were the Senators from Illinois, Paul Douglas a democrat, and Everett Dirksen a republican.

Those were the days. . .

Senator Everett Dirksen, R-Illinois

Senator Paul Douglas, D-Illinois

180116-Looking Forward Forty Years



Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

North Korea is still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony..
They Had simultaneous Headaches.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with
Only 3 illegitimate children.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what….NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or be very very scared.

I Love This Country!
It’s The Government That Scares Me!
Stop organized crime.
Re-elect no one.

Things I Have Forgotten








Last week I dreamed I was at work. It has been sixteen years since I have worked for a living, and being at work in the dream was delightful, except for one thing. I couldn’t remember a specific word that I used daily to describe a special property of the material we used to make our number one product. That spoiled my dream. Up to that point I enjoyed being an expert on the material properties. I liked to call myself an expert on the material but I was, and am still far from it, but compared to an ordinary Joe I am an expert. The same holds true for today, I am far from an expert on the use or workings of a computer, but I am further advanced in know-how than the circle of friends I hang with, they consider me a computer guru. I am also one to try to do things with a computer that no one else does, and I get very little help from anyone I know. For example, recently I conducted a class in which the students gave answers to a questionnaire. The result of the answers are meaningless unless they are compiled into an aggregate. I used Excel to do the job. I tried showing the total result to the class via a projector connected to my PC. The results were totally unreadable on the big screen. Nevertheless projecting data on a screen from a computer was impressive. The next week I imported the Excel data into a Power-Point program to display, they were better. I had used Excel in my work but this new Excel was so different it took me some time and experimentation to learn how to work with it. At the end, I concluded that although I finally made some nice graphs that the new Excel didn’t have the capabilities of the sixteen year older versions I had used. In my work I made some really comprehensive and detailed graphs to display data just like engineers did before computers. As the class progressed I kept adding more results to the Power Point until the class concluded. The last session will use the total results to make decisions about improvement projects.

While doing all this it became clear to me that I would like to show the Power Point presentation to more people. I thought I could just plug it in and play it in a loop over and over to use as a backdrop during a dinner. After much experimentation I learned that Power Point is not capable of looping.  To do what I wanted to do I would have to make a movie of my presentation. Not a problem I thought, I am very familiar with iMovie having made a dozen or so movies from my old super eight films. Except the latest iMovie program is now five years newer than the one I used forcing me to learn how to use iMovie all over again. In the process of learning, I discovered it would be easier to save my Power Point slides as jpeg images. You don’t want to know how much I swore at Apple while learning that to be necessary.

As I developed this movie using bland data I added my organization goals into the mix, now the movie was really bland. To spice things up I decided to add some canned videos before, and after my bland data, short, colorful, and informative videos one before and one after. The movie got better, except that the videos would not draw everyone into the presentation, so I added home video snips from my organization activities. This added personality to the thing and tied it all together. Making the movie was becoming easier as I repeatedly experimented with the various elements.

When I had a finished product to my satisfaction I found the loop feature in iMovie and added it; wallah mission accomplished except it wouldn’t loop.

I was giving up at this point and said it is time to burn this project to disk so I can play it on any kind of player. I set it up to burn using iDVD. I’ve used iDVD successfully many times. This time I let the computer run for twenty-eight hours before I finally shut it off to try something else. I examined the disk and there is no evidence of any transfer. I tried playing the disk and it showed up empty. In the back of my head I kept wondering if using videos from YouTube had anything to do with it. Yep it does (most likely because it is copyrighted material). I removed the videos, and the movie burned albeit with out some key entertainment. In desperation I tried showing the original file which I had saved as an MP4 on my projector and it played, but it won’t loop. I gave up and have not touched it since. Maybe it will come to me in a dream.

Today, I was delivering food to a family in need with my Lions Club and the word popped into my head, hygroscopic! That is the property of nylon that gives it the ability to gain or lose moisture from the atmosphere. Then the words nucleated, amorphous, crystalline all popped into my mind; my dream is now successfully finished.

Have you ever heard the adage “I have forgotten more than you will ever know?”


PSA-171204-Just Thinking


Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that, at my age, I don’t really give a rat’s ass anymore. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat. A rabbit runs, and hops, and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn’t run, and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And they tell us to exercise? I don’t think so.
Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:
1.  I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
3. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
6. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser.
7. Some days, you’re the top dog, some days you’re the hydrant.
8. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
11. It is hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
12. The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom.
13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.
14. When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
15. It is not hard to meet expenses . . . They’re everywhere.
16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth..
17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . .
I go somewhere to get something,
and then wonder what I’m “here after”.
18. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.
20. Have I sent this message to you before…or did I get it from you?
Always do right.  This will gratify some people and astonish the rest
– Mark Twain
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