Wanted: Artificial Intelligence Sherriff

Posted on 20/03/2026 by Grumpa Joe

Last night I watched a 1975 movie called “Rooster Cogburn” starring John Wayne and Katharine  Hepburn. The plot reminded me of the many westerns I watched in black and white as a kid that involved a stagecoach robbery. Today, while reviewing my American Express charges, I found one for $309. The only large charges I have like that are from the local supermarkets. This charge was listed as

EZ TEXTING 690550110Santa Monica CA$309.00
  

There was a time when I used a texting service to communicate with my fellow Lions members, but I never spent more than $25 for a mass text. At the usual rate of a nickel per, this meant I must have sent 6180 texts. We have only 75 members, and that pencils out to 82 messages per member. There is no way I ever sent that many text messages to anyone in my life. The Republicans running our country, however, easily send me that many texts daily. They never ask for money, but there’s no way to leave a message without checking a box linked to a donation. Clever these people are. If only they were that clever at outwitting the Democrats.

Anyway, this line item presented a challenge. It took me about twenty minutes to outwit the Artificial Intelligence (AI) bot before I was able to release some of the steam building in my aged cranium. Here is a transcript from this conversation I had with Alliyah, the chat agent holding a gun at my head.

  • Today • 1:19 PM

Hello, thanks for reaching out. We will be with you shortly.

  •  
  • EE

EZ-Bot Enhanced joined • 1:20 PM

  • Hi, thanks for chatting in today!
  • EE

What do you need help with? Please choose one of the following:

EZ-Bot Enhanced • 1:20 PM

  • Find help with Knowledge Base
    • My account or message is under review
    • Transfer to Live Chat
  • Transfer to Live Chat

Sent • 1:20 PM

  • EE

Please enter a detailed description of your inquiry, and I will contact an online Agent.

EZ-Bot Enhanced • 1:20 PM

  • I received a charge of $309.00 made on 2/27/26. Please tell me what this was for?

Sent • 1:22 PM

  • Transfer requested at 1:22 PM
  • EE

EZ-Bot Enhanced left • 1:22 PM

  • AF

Alliyah F joined • 1:24 PM

  • You are now connected to an agent, thank you for waiting.
  • AF

Hi, my name is Alliyah and I’m with the EZ Texting support team. I’m sorry to hear that you got charged on your account. No worries, I’m here to help! Can you please provide your email address or account ID?

Alliyah F • 1:25 PM

  • What is the charge for $309. on my american express card on Feb 27 2026 made for?

Read • 1:25 PM

  • AF

Can you please provide your email address or account ID?

Alliyah F • 1:26 PM

Read • 1:26 PM

  • Thank you for providing that information! Upon checking your account, the charge was from your annual plan which is the Launch Plan.
  • AF

And your annual plan got renewed on February 25, 2026.

Alliyah F • 1:27 PM

  • Please cancel that renewal?

Read • 1:28 PM

  • AF

I can go ahead and cancel it, are you not going to use the service anymore?

Alliyah F • 1:29 PM

  • No, I am no longer in a position that requires me. to mass text.

Read • 1:29 PM

  • I understand, I have now canceled your account and moving forward, you will not be charge again, and please be informed that as part of our sign-up process, all users agree to our Terms of Service, which include our no-refund policy. This policy states that once a subscription is processed, we’re unfortunately unable to issue a refund—even if the service is not used afterward. Please refer to this link (https://www.eztexting.com/terms).
  • AF

For this one, aside from canceling your account, is there anything else I can assist you?

Alliyah F • 1:33 PM

  • I have read the terms you pointed me to. I do not recall signing up for automatic renewal, and I would not have used the service knowing that an AI bandit would hold me up for such a huge amount of money.

Read • 1:36 PM

  • AF

I understand, please be informed that EZ Texting’s only payment method is auto-renewal and it has been since the day you sign-up for our service. I understand how important this is to you but again, I apologize, we don’t have a way to refund it anymore.

Alliyah F • 1:38 PM

  • If there was such a thing as an AI Sheriff, I would have you arrested and jailed for theft.

Read • 1:42 PM

  • AF

I’m sorry, the only way for you to not be charge before was to canceled the account before the renewal date but on this one, since there were no cancelation, it is automatic for the plan to auto-renew. I’m sorry but this is from our policy.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ While searching the net to find this useless link, I saw several that contained the word ‘Apple’ in them. With Apple’s backing, they are sure to be a winner. I now understand why.

In my last note to this foreign agent, I invented the Artificial Intelligence Sheriff (AIS). There is no doubt that the AIS will become a reality as more and more helpless senior internet users have their pockets picked.

Beware, my fellow senior citizens, and be certain to read the fine print in those endless pages of rules we blindly agree to when downloading an application that will make our lives easier.

To Apple: Please include a feature(button) on your computers that, when pressed, would automatically blow up any website I deem to be an Internet Bandit. It would please me immensely, even if all it did was light up my screen with a loud “BANG!”

Sincerely:

Artificial Intelligence Sheriff, AKA, Grumpa Joe

Filed under: Aging, Democrats, family, Republicans, Seniors | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

The Party of Murder

Posted on 11/09/2024 by Grumpa Joe

Abortion is a topic that is too popular today. I began my writing with an essay on abortion in 1959 when I had to take a test to determine if I had enough English skills to transfer to the University of Illinois without re-taking English. I didn’t have to retake the subject. At that time, the majority of the country was solidly opposed to abortion. People were more God-fearing, moral, and ethical about the act of abortion. At that time, I based my essay on the fact that abortion is murder. A look though out history one learns that murder is never condoned. It is always considered a sin by moralists and churches around the world. If I may quote a 1968 cigarette commercial, “You’ve come a long way baby.”

Oregon Right to Life sent mailers making dubious claims about what they call “late-term abortions” in Oregon. This flyer attacked Democratic candidate for the state Senate, Mark Meek, who has been endorsed by Planned Parenthood.

Today, abortionists use the argument that a baby is only a zygote when it is conceived. Thus, the moment of life becomes an argument in deciding when the zygote becomes human. Somehow, this argument makes abortion before that transition occurs okay. Women argue that they need an abortion because they don’t want to be pregnant, they don’t want a baby, they can’t afford a baby, they were raped, their life is in danger, and many more reasons than I can remember right now. It is my belief that the number one reason for abortion is contraception: Oops, I made a mistake.

Today, there are some States where late-term abortion is considered legal. Again, we have to define late-term to decide the fate of a human being. Some people argue that late-term ends only when the fetus exits the woman. This definition is concerning because we are then murdering a fully developed baby and using the finish line as the argument in favor of doing it. The worst case that I have heard about is that of a botched abortion where the baby is now out of the woman but seriously injured during the act of aborting it. Some doctors feel that if they just make the ruined and seriously injured baby rest comfortably until it dies it is morally acceptable. The arguments keep coming, but the fact remains that biologically, the act of sexual union is designed to procreate. All living things procreate. Procreation is an inborn instinct which cannot be ignored, and at times difficult if not impossible to suppress.

Life has to begin at some point. I believe that the point is the moment the sperm penetrates the ovum and becomes the zygote that splits into two cells and begins forming the fetus, which then ultimately becomes a human. This process leads me to believe that life begins at conception; the instant that zygote splits into two cells the process of forming a human has begun. The arguments begin.

If I get sick and die, it is a natural thing. If I am injured and die, it is a normal thing. If someone shoots a bullet into my heart and I die, it is not normal. It is an intentional act committed to injure or kill another human. Depending on the circumstances, if shooting a bullet into my heart and I die, it is considered murder. The same holds for the embryo or fetus. There are typical natural reasons for an embryo to die; this is called a miscarriage. Although it is sad, it is a natural thing. A physical or chemical intervention designed ot terminate the embryo or fetus is not natural and considered murder. Murder is an unnatural intentional ending of a life.

Since Roe v Wade was passed into law in 1973, over 62,500,000 abortions were performed. That amounts to the murder of eighteen percent of our current population. I have to ask if the current Democratic government allowed ten million people to cross our borders illegally as a way to compensate for the loss of life by abortion. I wonder what kind of world we would live in if these murdered humans were allowed to live everyday lives. DId we abort the one who would have cured cancer, or the one who cured dementia, and all the other life taking diseases? Have we killed the person who would have brought about world peace?

By ending Roe V Wade and forcing the fifty states to come up with their laws regarding abortion, we are affected more equally within our rights. I, for one, do not condone my tax dollars being used to pay for abortions and want the right to decide within my state how to handle the situation. Why is it that women want the state to pay for these mistakes? Shouldn’t the perpetrator be made to pay for their situation? After all, I did not get to experience the pleasure of the orgasm why should I have to pay for the consequence?

My answer is to allow abortions, but do not make me or the government pay for it unless it is mine. An abortion, although it is not an ordinary healthcare issue, should not be covered by any state-controlled healthcare plan. What if the abortion is botched, and the woman’s life is in danger who is it that pays? I would address this the same as if the person failed in an attempt to commit suicide. Go to the ER, get fixed and then argue with your insurance company. What if the woman is dying, but the abortion is not complete? Is the doctor arrested for performing an abortion? My answer is that the doctor would not be arrested because he did what was necessary to save the woman’s life. The arguments keep rolling in. The one best answer is not to have an abortion, then you wouldn’t have to ask these questions.

On the business side of things, abortion is a source of income from two avenues. The abortion act itself and second payment from the sale of infant body parts to companies that use them for research. The lobby money paid by Planned Parenthood has to be in the millions. Congressional leaders most likely profit from this effort. They can’t pocket the money but they can fill campaign funds. To me the act of tearing apart the body of an unborn and then selling the raw parts to someone else is an immoral act compounding the immorality of the abortion itself. I have a relative who lost two pregnancies at seven months. She experienced the same grief as when she had lost her mother. The idea of her selling her baby’s body to be chopped up for experimentation was unthinkable.

Looking at the subject from the opposite end of life, what happens if a nurse is caught pulling the plug on the respirator of a critically ill person who is one hundred years old? Now we have the issue of euthanasia to deal with. Is this not the same argument as abortion? in reverse? What if I want to live even if it costs a million dollars a day to keep me alive and I only have twenty dollars left in my bank account. Who will decide my right to life? This is called mercy killing, and the perpetrators will most likely get punished by authorities.

Perhaps women and the men who impregnate them and then have abortions should pay with jail time. Would they change their minds about having sex which may lead to an unwanted pregnancy? I doubt it very much.

Finally, I want to say that abortion probably dates back to the time of Adam and Eve. It will be with us as long as there are humans on this planet, and the arguments pro and con will never cease.

Filed under: Conservative, health care | Tagged: , , | Leave a comment »

Vice President? Really?

Posted on 08/01/2022 by Grumpa Joe

I’m sorry, but I can’t resist this temptation. I promised myself not to get worked up about our government on this blog, but she tipped me over the edge. Kamala Harris, Vice President of the United States of America just made a great proclamation the we need a voting rights act. She has to be kidding. This week I received a copy of the US Constitution in booklet form from Charlie Kirk who is the founder of Turning Point USA. I first met Charlie when he was still in high school. He was a presenter at a TEA Party meeting in Frankfort, IL. even at the age of eighteen he had more common sense than the entire Congress of the United States. He was able to entertain us for an hour with anecdote after anecdote of his high school teacher’s and their leftist views. Anyway, Charlie sent me a copy of the Constitution with a request for money.

Kamala’s pitch was to hold Congress’ feet to the fire until she got a comprehensive voting rights bill enacted. Yet, just yesterday I was reminded of the voting rights that we already have when I reviewed the Bill of Rights section of the Constitution. The fifteenth amendment specifically states:

“The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.”

Later on in the Nineteenth Amendment it further states:

“The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.”

What more can be asked for?

I thought about it for a second and then realized that it is not voting rights that she wants it is power.

Here are a few voting rights that she may want to include:

She wants a new bill to spell out how elections will be run according to Federal Standards. After all, everyone should be able to vote online, by mail, voice mail, text, or by sending a subliminal thought at your local post office, Jewel Food store, Home Depot, or even a traditional polling place, or in the comfort of your own water closet merely by flushing the toilet.

She wants all the new sexes invented by the LGBTQ groups to be specifically spelled out. Because the word citizen is not enough to recognize these special groups. Then it occurred to me that the word citizen limits the kind of people who can vote. There are too many immigrants, refugees, and over stayed-visitors to ignore and she wants to include them into her voter base.

How about our ancestors? Even though they are dead don’t they have a retrograde right?

My point in all this is that Kamala Harris has her head stuck in her rectum and does not know what she is saying. I don’t believe she has the ability to run this country. We currently criticize Joe Biden because we believe he is senile and unable to lead, but Kamala would make him look pretty damned good.

Filed under: Cartoons, Conservative, Election, Government, Sarcasm | Tagged: , , , , | 7 Comments »

Racist Roads?

Posted on 09/11/2021 by Grumpa Joe

Thank God I gave up spending my life reading news websites in favor of living to enjoy life. A few years ago I spent myriads of hours reading political BS about just about everything. All it did was to expand my vocabulary to understand what Democrats were calling me, like racist, homophobe, xenophobic.

This morning I spent driving to the north suburbs of Chicago to visit a business called Aum-Bio in Rolling Meadows. My wife believes and relies on alternative therapies for curing her ills and maintaining her health. Upon our return I decided to spend an hour reading internet news sites. The one headline that caught my attention contained the term “racist roads.” That one made me laugh out loud. Democrats are no longer satisfied with calling their opponents racists and are turning to the roads. Pretty desperate if you ask me. I had to open this article to get the details for how roads can be classified as racist. Wonder-Boy Secretary of Transportation Mayor Pete Buttigieg made the comment. He explained that he would use a large percentage of the money from the 1.5 trillion dollar infrastructure bill to address the problem of racist roads. To me that means that he will invent several new agencies staffed with high paid impossible to fire government employees to study the problem and at the end will recommend replacing the so called roads with new ones that cut right through old established neighborhoods.

Back in the nineteen fifties then mayor of Chicago Richard J. Daley was responsible for getting a new super highway built to serve Chicago. Since Lake Michigan borders the east side of the city the new road had to enter the city from the south, and exit to the north. This road would be part of Interstates 90, and 94 that skirt the south end of Lake Michigan and then head back north through Chicago into Wisconsin before they again turn west at different latitudes.

The 1950’s demographic history of Chicago shows that most of the black population lived on the near south side in ghettos that came into existence after the great fire in the eighteen hundreds. I can call these ghettos because I personally witnessed the neighborhoods as I road the Red Rocket street car down Cottage Grove Avenue to 22nd street where I got off and walked to Michael Reese Hospital for physical therapy. I was shocked at the dilapidation of the buildings along the way especially those north of 55th street. It got worse and worse the further north toward the city-center. At times I was the only white boy on the car amongst blacks. Since I wore a neck brace and used crutches I was often offered a seat by a black person, usually a very tired looking lady who could hardly wait to get home. Since I was taught to respect my elders I never accepted an offer, I waited until a seat became open. I never feared for my life, no one ever tried to intimidate me we were just passengers on a public mode of transportation trying to get somewhere.

Looking at the map that decided where the Dan Ryan Expressway (1-94) was to go, it is clear to see that the black population won privy to Chicago’s prized lakefront access. It was the white who could not cross under low bridges by bus to get to the beaches, it was the blacks who had privilege to prime lakefront views and access. It was the whites who could not access Chicago’s largest parks like Washington Park, and Jackson Park. The whites the of the city are owed reparation for access to the prime lakefront properties, and access to the nicest parks in the mid-west.

Since the fifties and Interstate 94 (Dan Ryan Expressway) was completed as a necessary road, the black population has expanded twenty miles to the east and west sides of I-94 all the way into the south suburbs to east-west road Interstate 80. Chicago has had a Democrat mayor exclusively during that time. Wonder-boy Mayor Pete should have claimed this fact as well in his announcement. Instead he makes it sound like the entire population of the U.S.A. is race hating. I can say with some probability of accuracy that his home town of South Bend, Indiana of which he was mayor, has a similar historical story to tell.

I do say to Wonder-Boy Buttigieg yes, Chicago was segmented into neighborhoods, and yes, at that time whites were very prejudiced. I have a problem with that because my trips for physical therapy were the result of spending four months in a hospital being cared for by many black nurses, and therapists. I got to know these people very well and never came to a conclusion that they were anything other than people just like me. They just happened to be a different color and a different culture. Maybe Mayor Daley decided the interstate should split the blacks from the whites, but he had to make a decision on which neighborhoods to upset with this road which goes directly into the city from the south, and at the same time would destroy some very old and dangerous buildings.

As I examine the map above the split shows a that ten to twenty percent of the black population was on the white-side(west) of the highway. Since the interstate system was new in 1950 there were no laws that dictated the clearance of underpasses or overpasses. As a point of interest the Dan Ryan does not have underpasses. Every street that crosses the highway is an overpass and does not limit any bus or truck from passing over it. The laws did not dictate that there should be ample clearance for busses to carry us from the west to the east side beaches because there was no need for it. It is my guess that if Wonder-Boy Buttigieg were in a position to make that decision he would have done exactly the same, except he too would have forgotten to raise the clearances for busses. Where we do have clearance problems is when a railroad crosses a road. Many of these underpasses are so low that trucks crossing under them decapitate their roofs. Wonder Boy does not address problems caused by hundred year old railroad crossings. Were these intentionally made too low for the purpose of separating blacks from whites? I don’t think so.

There are no racist roads anywhere in the country, only racists who keep promoting that we are a racist country.

Filed under: Government, politics | Tagged: , , , | Leave a comment »

Bring It On Big Guy

Posted on 20/11/2020 by Grumpa Joe

It is Friday night, and instead of going on a date I’ll try writing a response to the nut job liberal who wants to reprogram 75 million Trumps supporters to become nut jobs like him.

I know the feeling this man has, I had it to the same extent eight years ago when his immortalized icon Obama ascended to the throne. If Obama has anything over Trump it was his ability to dodge scandal. Why wouldn’t he? When the entire world’s press aligns itself with the liberal side of things Obama could do no wrong. Obama controlled the message and brags about it. Yet, over the last four years Obama frailties have been trickling out time after time. It still doesn’t make news because of the protection he is afforded by the press and the Deep State.

For the past four years, I have enjoyed not hearing from my own radical nut-job friends on Facebook. Now that Biden is declaring himself the Lord they post only negative stuff about Trump and very wrong stuff about Biden. We believe in our leaders. I believe everything Trump says, my own son-in-law does not. I often wind up with a shoe in my mouth because of our discussions. I’d rather eat shoe leather than offend the young man and jeopardize my daughter’s relationship.

The past few nights I have watched several documentaries on American Indian life. All of them put the government into evil light. I actually come away feeling guilty for the way the tribes were treated by our own ancestors. The players in these documentaries tell their side of the story without any opportunity or desire to look at things from the opposite side. The effect is empathy by the viewer. I see the current players of the left telling the story the way they want it t be heard. I’m not buying it. Why, because I know better than to believe anything a lefty says or does.

Yesterday, I watched a press conference held by Trump’s lawyers exposing the democrat voting shenanigans uncovered during the election. When I heard that the same vote counting machine developed by the Hugo Chavez and Maduro regimes was also used to count our votes my heart began racing. It doesn’t matter that the machine is made by a company connected to the infamous USA hating George Soros. How in the world could these people be so damned stupid? Or were they stupid? If you want to win an election you use systems that you can manipulate to change the winds into your direction. Combine that with the timing of the vote-count-stop during the night to give the counters a break being coincidental with the rising surge of Trump votes which coincidentally dropped like a rock after the break is really stretching my mind a bit. Oh yeah, the votes they found during the break had to be run through the newly reprogrammed machines. Yep, I’m believing it one hundred percent.

If the libs want to retrain me to think like them they will have to split my head open and empty my brains into a bucket. Anyone with the brains of an ostrich has to know that the facts don’t add up. And these are the kind of thinkers who are commenting on Twitter and Blogs all across the country about how lame the Conservatives are. What is worse is that the so called press rides the wave with the empty headed libs who propose so much stupid stuff. I should replace the word stuff with ideas, but ideas such as theirs are not even stuff. I am being generous by calling their fecally tainted output as stuff.

How about finding thousands of ballots with only one mark on them all for Biden, and all with a perfectly round dot in the voting space.? I try to be very careful when I mark my ballot with the black ink pen and work at staying inside the lines, but even with all my precise care I go outside the lines. Putting a perfect circle inside the little oval boxes is damn near impossible on thousands of ballots. For one thing one person would not be able to mark that many ballots, it would take several people to mark thousands and what are the chances that all those people would all do the same precise job? I will buy that the ballots were marked by a printing machine, and not a registered voter.

The list of irregularities found during the counting is endless, and is certainly evidence enough for me to believe that the election was definitely being influenced by an outside organized source, maybe it was the Russians, but I’d rather believe it was the Democratic National Committee.

I grew up in Chicago, and followed city politics from the time I could read. Mayor Richard J Daley was the master of organizing the democratic machine. His Precinct Captains told immigrants to vote for democrat candidates, my parents among them. They used intimidation by way of threats to job security, they suppressed the black vote, or intimidated them to vote democrat. He locked up the politics in such a way that the city was nearly one hundred percent democratic. His system of patronage is being used in every democratic city across the nation. He ruled for years. His successors were all democrats from his administration. Eventually, his son Richard M Daley finished the Daley rule, but the democratic party lives on. The result is a city where only the white neighborhoods are respectable, black neighborhoods all resemble war zones. Money for anything is lacking, but the budget is overwhelming.

Richard J Daley Richard M Daley
Jackson Park

As a kid, I remember the Chicago Park District being the greatest ever. I walked two miles one-way to use the park. They were great places to play sports, to swim, to take walks. The landscaping was outstanding, the lawns were manicured. Today, the parks are a mess, yes they still have a semblance of a park but they are not safe, the services are fewer, and the people who frequent them put their life in danger. There is only one area that is totally safe in Chicago, i.e. except for this past summer, The Magnificent Mile and Grant Park along the lake front. It is the jewel of Chicago. Tourists from around the world come to visit this area. However, this summer Michigan Avenue was visited by BLM and other protest groups who showed their liberalism by smashing windows and looting. The lady Mayor Lori Lightfoot treats the city as though it all belongs to the black elements. There is no law and order in neighborhoods that are not hers.

So my good friend, you who wants to teach me to become a liberal, all I can say is bring it on!

Magnificent Mile Michigan Avenue

Filed under: Aging, Conservative, politics | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a comment »

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