Learn Something New Everyday

Posted on 17/08/2019 by Grumpa Joe

Famous sayings about having a cold one!

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“Sometimes, when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I did not drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, it is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true, than be selfish and worry about my liver.”

Babe Ruth

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”

Paul Horning

“24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not!”

Steven Wright

“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven.”

George Bernard Shaw

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

Benjamin Franklin“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”

Dave Barry“Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.”

W. C. Fields

“Remember ‘I’ before ‘E,’ except in Budweiser.”

Professor Irwin Corey

“To some it is a six-pack. To me, it is a Support Group. Salvation in a can.”

Leo Durocher

One night at Cheers, a TV Sitcom, Cliff Clavin said to his buddy, Norm Peterson: “Well, ya see, Normmy, it’s like this .. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But, naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers!”

Filed under: Aging, family, health care, Humor, Uncategorized | Tagged: Beer, Coincidence, Happiness, Heaven, Pairing, Reading, Salvation, sex, Smarter, Spelling | 1 Comment »

“We Serve”

Posted on 10/08/2019 by Grumpa Joe

Today, I had an interesting time with my Lions Club. We cooked and served lunch of hotdogs, hamburgers and cheeseburgers for 220 people. Every summer an organization called Camp Quality rents a full week at a Frankfort facility (Camp Manitoqua) entertaining kids with cancer. This is their twenty-fifth anniversary. Camp Quality is a nation-wide organization run 100 percent by volunteers. The Illinois Camp Quality serves Illinois, and part of Indiana. This year they served 77 kids with cancer, or kids in remission. Once a camper begins with the camp he is eligible to continue every year until he reaches age seventeen. Many of the campers become counselors and continue into their college years. Nationwide, there are seventeen Camp Quality’s operating.

Each camper has an assigned buddy who is older and who sticks to him like glue for the whole week. This is to prevent mishaps, and loneliness. Many of the newly diagnosed kids are on chemo-therapy when they arrive and continue to get the treatments. To do this, the camp has a complete medical staff of volunteer nurses and doctors to take care of medical issues. The entire week costs the camper zero. The entire operation, however costs upwards of two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars. All of this comes from donations from corporations, individuals, and clubs like ours.

The experience is lifting. One cannot come away without feeling a warm glow inside for having contributed to something good. All total ten Lions gave of their time to serve the community, it is what Lions do.

Filed under: Biography, family, health care, Lions Club, Warm and Fuzzy | Tagged: Camp Quality, Cancer, Kids, Lions | Leave a comment »

I Am So Sorry I Am White

Posted on 08/08/2019 by Grumpa Joe

I am so sick of hearing people apologizing for being white. Each time, I say to myself, “this person is severely mentally warped.” What would that person want? Would they want to reverse the race of his/her parent? Why? and why would you be sorry for your parent’s race? There is nothing in the universe that one can do to change it. I suppose if you are like the Rachel Dolezal dame who paints her face black, and gets her hair done in kinky curls that one can say they have done something about it. To me, people who apologize for their race have zero respect and love for their parents. There is absolutely no basis for apology. If anything I would criticize the parents for conceiving the child at all. Perhaps there should be an eleventh commandment added to the ten Moses brought down from the mountain. “Thou shalt not conceive a child with a person of your own race.” Maybe we should insist that at the time of birth we ask the child which race it wants to be. We’re headed that way with gender, why not race? Or better yet, we should make a law that once a woman announces she his pregnant that she have the embryo tested for DNA. If the child is pure white it must be aborted and the woman given a directory of men of non-white color for impregnation. How the hell stupid are we going to get?

Here is my proposal to fix the problem: Make everyone who apologizes for being white the slave of a black person.

These liberal progressives disgust me. I’m sure Dr. Frankenstein would reject them for a brain transplant.

Filed under: family, LIBERAL, Sarcasm, Science | Tagged: apology, Race | Leave a comment »

Stop the bull

Posted on 07/08/2019 by Grumpa Joe

Just Cruisin 2

We will forewarn some that this post is not aimed at them or meant to in any way insult the victims of the recent shootings nor condone the senseless killing of others. We just want to get some facts out there and state the obivious.

The first point is obvious; 99.99% of gun owners did not shoot anybody. Yet the first reaction from certain politicians is more gun restrictions. Yes, all mass shooters used guns, but that is not the main issue at play here. The evidence shows the problem is that most, if not all of said shooters, were taking psychotropic drugs.

The shooters were taking the drugs or had stopped taking said drugs shortly before going on a rampage. This is easily proven and it’s scary to us that some pharmaceutical companies witheld information on side effects. If you want to see an article listing the link, go

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A Man Thing

Posted on 30/07/2019 by Grumpa Joe

For the last two years I have told people that when Peg dies, and I’m still alive, the first thing I must do is sell this house. Well. Peg died. I’m quickly relearning the difficulty of emptying a house of clutter and unsightly unnecessary junk. When we moved in here thirteen short years ago the house was empty. I had just sold my old house and everything I owned to start a new life. Peg didn’t follow suit. She insisted on keeping her old house, and did. It wasn’t until four years ago after dementia had taken her memory did I have a chance to finally sell her place. Of course the house was still loaded with her stuff. Keeping her stuff out of our new house was the only way we could live in a modern looking minimalist home. Slowly, the stuff crept into the modern. I ran out of spaces to put things. Our closets were jammed, the space under beds was filled with boxes, the garage was full, even the trunk of her car and the backseat had stuff in it. Of course all the while this creep occurred I was busy in my workshop making dust, and buying more lumber to make my Intarsia pieces. Not to mention a couple of new machines too.

Peg had an attachment to her stuff. She loved clothes and remained the same size all her life, old clothes fit her as well as new. The result was that she had a tremendous inventory of clothes. I tell people that at age eighty-five she still had her prom dress. I promised her that I would not throw anything away or dispose of it in any way without her permission. She never granted me permission. She always said her daughter and grand daughters would use her clothes. Wrong. They have taken a few articles as mementos but the fashions of a forty or sixty something are different than that of an eighty something. After four weeks of sorting, searching, boxing, bagging, and hauling clothes the master bedroom closet is finally finished. When I saw the empty closet for the first time it dawned on me that I have just disposed of my wife. Emptyness overwhelmed me. The finality of her dying had hit home. I had to stop and sit down, I almost cried.

I am donating most of the things to three different organizations: Saint Vincent dePaul Society, NU 2 U, and Neat Repeats. All of them are resale shops that support battered women, poor families, and single parent families. They are happy to see me coming.

The journey on this new adventure will take another eight weeks as I move from room to room purging the unnecessary things from life. The goal is to end up with a house that is ready to show for sale. I’m still not sure what the next step will be, but I trust God will show me the way. I may just pack the Death Star with camping gear and head for Alaska. After Barb died sixteen years ago, I packed the car and went to Arizona for three months. It was there that I finally cried for her. It’s a man thing not to cry.

Filed under: Aging, Biography, family, grief | Tagged: Alzheimers, Dementia, Hoarding, True Love | 3 Comments »