Grumpa Joe's Place

Points to Ponder

Posted on 07/03/2021 by Grumpa Joe

Just can’t take things too seriously

The devil whispered to me, “I’m coming for you.” I whispered back, “Bring pizza.”

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.

It’s weird being the same age as old people.

When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected.

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Chocolate is God’s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.

It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.

Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true?

Him: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.

Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember…Don’t sing!

My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make the food right in front of you. So I took her to Subway and that’s how the fight started.

During the middle ages they celebrated the end of the plague with wine and orgies. Does anyone know if there is anything planned when this one ends?

I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say “wow” that many times in your first session, but here we are…

I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

We can all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct to, ‘Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?’

So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?

If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.

I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.

Coronacoaster noun: the ups and downs of a pandemic. One day you’re loving your bubble, doing work-outs, baking banana bread and going for long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like.

Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.

I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.

I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.

How many of us have looked around our family reunion and thought “Well, aren’t we just two clowns short of a circus?”

You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Filed under: Aging, family, Humor | Tagged: age, Smarter | Leave a comment »

Saturday Evening Giggles

Posted on 06/03/2021 by Grumpa Joe

I’m on two diets. I wasn’t getting enough food on just one.

A cold seat in a public restroom is unpleasant. A warm seat is worse.

Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation, “Maybe next time”, isn’t the correct response.

Don’t irritate old people. The older we get the less “life in prison” is a deterrent.

Have you ever listened to someone for a minute and thought, “Their cornbread ain’t done in the middle.”

Aliens probably fly by earth and lock their doors.

You will hit every cone on the highway before I let you merge in front of me, because you saw that sign 2 miles ago like I did.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she had been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.

I really don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly.

It turns out that being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.

I miss the 90’s, when bread was still good for you and no one knew what kale was.

Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, “That can’t be accurate”

I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

As I watch this generation try to rewrite our history, one thing I’m sure of… it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

I thought getting old would take longer.

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.

My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make food right in front of you. I took her to Subway. That’s when the fight started.

Me: Sobbing my heart out, “I can’t see you anymore… I’m not going to let you hurt me again.” Trainer: “It was one sit-up. You did one sit-up.”

Picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn’t afraid he might be a serial killer? I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were extremely unlikely.

I went line dancing last night. OK, it was a roadside sobriety test… same thing…….

Filed under: Aging, Cartoons, family, Humor | Tagged: Aged, Wisdom | Leave a comment »

PSA-210305-Some Reasons to Grin

Posted on 05/03/2021 by Grumpa Joe

Filed under: Humor | Tagged: Memes | Leave a comment »

PSA-210302-Green New Deal Cars

Posted on 02/03/2021 by Grumpa Joe

Over the past twelve years I have posted my thoughts about electric cars. None of it has been positive. Lately, I have been buying the cool aid being delivered by Elon Musk and the Green New Deal faction. This article came to me today, and renewed my negativity towards converting to electric vehicles. Perhaps I am wrong to do so, but there is a deeper problem residing within the electric movement which I have continually brought up to no avail. This brilliant article unveils the problem and should be taught in Kindergartens across the world.

Interesting in what the engineers or others with knowledge and/or experience in this field have to say about this man’s comments. I did not write this, it was sent by a friend.

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As an engineer I love the electric vehicle technology. However, I have been troubled for a long time by the fact that the electrical energy to keep the batteries charged has to come from the grid and that means more power generation and a huge increase in the distribution infrastructure, whether generated from coal, gas, oil, wind or sun, installed generation capacity is limited.

In case you were thinking of buying hybrid or an electric car:
Ever since the advent of electric cars, the REAL cost per mile of
those things has never been discussed. All you ever heard was the mpg in terms of gasoline, with nary a mention of the cost of electricity to run it. This is the first article I’ve ever seen and tells the story pretty much as I expected it to.

Electricity has to be one of the least efficient ways to power things
yet they’re being shoved down our throats. Glad somebody finally put engineering and math to paper.

At a neighborhood BBQ I was talking to a neighbor, a BC Hydro Executive. I asked him how that renewable thing was doing. He laughed, then got serious.

If you really intend to adopt electric vehicles, he pointed out, you
had to face certain realities. For example, a home charging system for a Tesla requires a 75-amp service. The average house is equipped with a 100-amp service. On our small street (approximately 25 homes), The electrical infrastructure would be unable to carry more than three houses with a single Tesla each. For even half the homes to have electric vehicles, the system would be wildly over-loaded.

This is the elephant in the room with electric vehicles. Our residential infrastructure cannot bear the load. So as our genius elected officials promote this nonsense, not only are we being urged to buy these things and replace our reliable, cheap generating systems with expensive, new windmills and solar cells, but we will also have to renovate our entire delivery system! This latter “investment” will not be revealed until we’re so far down this dead-end road that it will be presented with an ‘OOPS..!’ and a shrug.

If you want to argue with a green person over cars that are eco-friendly, just read the following.

Note: If you ARE a green person, read it anyway. It’s enlightening.

Eric test drove the Chevy Volt at the invitation of General Motors and he writes, “For four days in a row, the fully charged battery lasted only 25 miles before the Volt switched to the reserve gasoline engine. “Eric calculated the car got 30 mpg including the 25 miles it ran on the battery. So, the range including the 9-gallon gas tank and the 16 kwh battery is approximately 270 miles

It will take you 4.5 hours to drive 270 miles at 60 mph. Then add 10 hours to charge the battery and you have a total trip time of 14.5 hours. In a typical road trip, your average speed (including charging Time) would be 20 mph. According to General Motors, the Volt battery holds 16 kwh of electricity. It takes a full 10 hours to charge a drained battery. The cost for the electricity to charge the Volt is never mentioned, so I looked up what I pay for electricity.

I pay approximately (it varies with amount used and the seasons) $1.16 per kwh. 16 kwh x $1.16 per kwh = $18.56 to charge the battery. $18.56 per charge divided by 25 miles = $0.74 per mile to operate the Volt using the battery. Compare this to a similar size car with a gasoline engine that gets only 32 mpg. $3.19 per gallon divided by 32 Mpg = $0.10 per mile.

The gasoline powered car costs about $25,000 while the Volt costs
$46,000 plus. Simply put, pay twice as much for a car, that costs more than seven times as much to run, and takes three times longer to drive across the country.

My Take: 😷

It’s always “Free Beer Tomorrow” – never “Today”

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Grumpa Joe predicts that the only real form of Green energy is as shown below. If you are really interested in saving the planet put air in your tires and pedal.