Trust Me!

The latest news from GM has given me an outstanding business idea. This is so good that I can’t keep it to myself and will let you get in on the action too. General Motors announced their plan to close a number of plants in Michigan and Ohio with a minimal layoff of fifteen thousand workers.  It seems they can’t sell cars anymore like the Japanese, and Koreans so they want to concentrate on designing and building electric cars in China. The sales on the Chevy Volt were so spectacular they couldn’t satisfy demand. Rather than disappoint buyers by not selling them a car, they shut down Volt operations.

A few short years ago Obama deemed General Motors too big to fail. Actually, Obama didn’t give a hoot about the company, what he meant was the United Auto Workers union was too big to fail.  He generously donated fifty billion of our tax dollars to the company in a bailout to save all those voters, er . . . I mean UAW workers. You and I paid five hundred dollars each to that cause through our taxes. Smart asses protecting the great one will argue that GM paid forty billion back. Okay, so GM only owes us $100 each. Had the government kept out of the deal in 2008 GM would have filed for bankruptcy and reorganized. The problem is that the reorganization would have eliminated the UAW.

My experience with GM runs hot and cold. I worked for GM in the nineteen sixties when they were the largest car maker in the world. Their profits were around four billion dollars. They could do no wrong, except to bow to the demands of the UAW. The union had some valid requests like “we want some of that profit because you made it with the sweat of the UAW brow.” If GM didn’t respond the UAW went on strike. The strike wouldn’t last very long because GM didn’t want to upset their shareholders with higher operating costs and lower dividends.  Eventually, the UAW added a huge burden to the cost of an automobile, they still do. Rumor has it that the unions drove up the cost of a car by $1500. what that means is that if you were to put a Toyota Camry next to a Chevy Malibu and the price tags were equal, GM was making $1500 less on the Malibu than Toyota did on the Camry. The GM answer to this dilemma was to cost-reduce their cars. What that did was reduce the reliability and quality of their cars. Add that to the stigma of buying an Obam-mobile and GM loses. Ford and Chrysler have their own stories which I won’t get into right now.

Instead of reviewing the sad history of the former largest car maker in the world let’s look forward. They really believe that electric cars are the wave of the future. Since they are too big to fail I want to take advantage of GM’s plan to make electric cars and trucks. I am starting up a franchise operation to provide energy for millions of electric cars. Right now a Tesla electric gets as much as 280 miles on a charge. I want those people to be able to drive into one of my stations. Think about the possibilities this business has. Even if we shift the paradigm and change from using a gas station to a charging station in our garage we will still need to recharge on the road. A trip across country from Chicago to Flagstaff will require a full-charge five times. Full charges using a super charger take ninety minutes. Using a lower grade charger like the one in your home can take up to ten hours. My stations will be equipped with 10 to 50 superchargers to take advantage of volume. Adjacent to my stations and connected will be a fabulous restaurant, casino, motel for your convenience. After all, a ninety minute charge will only be possible if I am charging ten cars as opposed to fifty. At fifty car capacity it may take three to five hours to charge. During those trapped minutes my casino will be raking in tons of nickels and dimes in the slots. 

The cost of a charge will be about five times the cost of a tank of gas at 2018 prices. Why so high? The demand for electricity will be so great that the electric power plants will be operating at max capacity. It’s that old supply-demand thing again.

Now comes the real lucrative aspect of this business. Behind all the charging stations we will build a high speed electric train using the center median on the interstate system. All those car owners sitting around waiting to get charged will look sadly at the hundreds of people flying past on the high speed rail. Imagine all those dollars pouring into the coffers from all those car owners switching to trains while the cars are at home charging.

The next phase after the high speed rail is a network of power plants. The world doesn’t have enough power generating stations to fuel all the electric vehicles GM is making therefore we’ll need super output generators. They will need energy as well so we’ll tap into wind, sun, and fossil fuels. Right now, coal mines are cheap because everyone is so down on coal. Buying coal is our secret weapon. While we continue to use coal we will also spend billions on harnessing the energy from the sun. All these puny solar collectors cluttering up the landscape are an eyesore and can’t produce spit, but the roof of every house will collect enough solar power to give individual households enough energy to be independent of the grid. Our research will concentrate on collecting sun in large spherical mirrors which transfer solar into heat to run the turbines in the super generators. Since the sun doesn’t shine on some days we will need to tap into the core of the earth to get heat.

Now that we have come full circle on energy, let’s talk about how much you want to invest in my company.  

Honest, I only Had One Beer

A man walks into an old pub in Dublin, takes a seat at the bar and orders 3 pints. After he is served he takes sips from them in turn and when all 3 glasses are finally empty he orders 3 more. The barkeeper, who has been watching him, has never seen such a weird style of drinking and says to the man: “You know when you leave a beer for too long it goes flat, so they would taste better if you order just one at a time.”
“Well”, says the man at the bar. “You see I have 2 brothers who I used to drink with, but unfortunately one moved to America and the other one moved to Australia. Now we are on 3 different continents and we hardly ever see each other. So I drink a pint for me and 2 for my brothers. This way we at least try to keep this tradition alive and it feels like we’re still together.”
The bartender agrees that this is a beautiful explanation for his weird behaviour and the man becomes a regular at his bar. The other customers also get used to his ritual of ordering 3 pints and drinking them in turn.
But then one day “Mister 3 Pints” comes in and orders only 2 glasses. The whole pub gets silent and the by the time the man orders a second round of only 2 pints the barkeeper says: “I’m terribly sorry as I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I just wanted to offer my condolances on your loss.”
The man looks puzzled, but then a smile breaks through and he says. “Thanks a lot, but everyone is fine really. It’s just that my wife had us join the Baptist church and I had to give up drinking. But my brothers are still Catholics, so it didn’t affect them.”

###############################################################

Yesterday, Peg and I spent a quiet day together. Just her and Me. We haven’t had such a day in quite some time. Peg’s caretaker hasn’t had a day off in over month and when her son called to say he was coming to  take her on an adventure she jumped at the chance. Being the outstanding employer that I am I jumped at the chance to get her out of the house away from me and Peg for a few hours.

The caretaker’s son owns a motorhome and he stores it in a barn for the winter. He planned to put it into storage this weekend. “What a great day to take mom out into nature to unwind before I put this thing away for the winter.”  Not that her job is that stressful, but it is boring and boring leads to stress. Her routine is to keep Peg fed, clean, medicated, and happy. She does three of the four exceptionally well.  Keeping Peg happy is a huge task. Only because we can never tell how she feels or what she feels. Peg doesn’t communicate, ever. The only time we know she is unhappy is when she experiences pain. Then she communicates with a yelp, scowl, or grimace.

The two of them left in this huge motorhome to places unknown to me. Peg and I were alone, all alone. In our better days before her dementia hit there is no question about how we would have spent our alone time, but this time we were alone and unable to fool around. I said a prayer that I would remain a good husband throughout the day.

I did fairly well in moving Peg to bed for her afternoon respite from the wheelchair. We force her to lay on her side only to get the pressure off her ass. Otherwise she develops a skin breakdown ending in a bedsore. We don’t like bedsores, neither does Peg. If you watch the commercials for lawyers looking for business, you will note that if your loved one in a nursing home has a bed sore it is grounds to sue for negligence. Therefore, we don’t like bedsores, not because lawyers love them but because they are painful, and ugly, and horrible to look at.

The caretaker’s son Freddie returned his mother to the job in time for Peg’s bed hour. To appease me for stealing his mother for a day he presented me with a bottle of Crazy Brewski beer. Brewed in his home country of Lithuania and bottled here in South Carolina.

Crazy Brewski, Lithuanian Beer

Of course Peg saved her daily BM for me. I struggled through the cleanup and re-diaper with a minimum of fuss and she was happy, I think. Supper was fun. I made it easy by popping a frozen pizza into the oven and literally threw shredded lettuce, chopped tomatoes, and balsamic vinegar dressing into a bowl for salad. We ate together, She polished off one eighth of the pie, and in the same time I finished four eighths, or half the pie. She sipped on a glass of pink Moscato through a straw and I swilled two glasses of Pinot Noir. That difference in eating is why Peg never weighs more than a hundred pounds with a 28 inch waist and I thunder about at 198 and a bulbous 40 plus waist.

This evening I popped for a couple of rib dinners from a local take out called Mindy’s famous for ribs. To go along with it I split the Crazy Brewski with the caretaker. Normally, I have a single glass of red wine with my supper, but I substituted the wine with the Brewski. A few sips into the beer, which was excellent, and sweet, I took note of the alcohol content. Crazy Brewski has 15% alcohol. A normal US beer like Coors has at most 4% and wine has 11%.  Needless to say, I am buzzed. 

That is my story, and I’m sticking to it. 

Thank You God for Free Speech

Two Turkeys Spreading Their Feathers In Preparation for War

On this day I am very grateful for everything in my life. It has been a wonderful, stressful, happy, difficult, journey to this point, and I am thankful to be here. God has blessed me with three great kids, ten grandchildren, two wives, fabulous career, and a nest egg that I can live on. 

As I read the morning news I was struck by our Chief Justice John Robert’s reaction to President Trump’s calling a federal judge an Obama Judge. This struck Roberts as wrong. He proclaimed that all judges do their damnedest to rule by the law. 

What struck me funny was Robert’s hypocrisy. I supported Robert’s right up until he decided to make law during the Obama Care ruling. It was not his responsibility to decide if the individual mandate was a tax or a charge. He should have bounced the law right back to Congress to clear the matter, but instead he chose to decide for us. In my mind that made him an Obama judge.

What is even more telling is the recent bitter fight between republicans and democrats during the Kavanaugh confirmation hearings. If these judges are so neutral why is there a fight among the leaders when one is being confirmed? Clearly the Obama lovers were scared to death that this judge was not in the Obama camp. He will repeal Roe v Wade they claimed. The fact is that only Congress can repeal any law. The Supreme Court can only rule on it’s legitimacy within the Constitution. I believe the Obama lovers all know damned well the the Roe v Wade law allowing abortion is wrong and also know that if challenged before the court it will be stricken. So all of Robert’s sing song about neutral judges non-partisan judges is a bunch of bullshit and he knows it. He is anti-Trump and pro-Obama and as such he let the cat out of the bag about his proclivity to Progressivism.

Even though I felt strongly abut calling Robert’s out about his thinking, I am thankful for his position on the court. He is generally neutral in most cases and supports the constitution.

May you have a God blessed Thanksgiving today and every day.

Is It Just Me?

DNA Links Snipes to Yoda

It seems that we are seeking the answers in the wrong places. If we want to find collusion between the USA and another country trying to influence our elections we should follow this lead. Dr. Brenda Snipes the election judge in Broward County Florida has connections with an interplanetary source. The source exposed in the movie Star Wars is trying to swing the planet into a socialist-orb. Dr. Snipes has done an outstanding job of confusing election results and manipulating ballots in a way that can only be explained by a seer such as Yoda. Rumor has it that Yoda is related to Ms Snipe. 

Why else would a credible Democrat election official be pointed at as incompetent, and derelict in her duties to certify an election within the lawfully specified time allotted for counting unless she is under the spell of Yoda? Could Yoda have been chosen to swing the election to the dark side?Special Prosecutor Mueller should be directed to investigate if there is collusion between Trump and the Death Star. Did Trump engage Yoda to interfere with the election to eliminate Hillary from contention?

CNN is tracking the connection between Snipes and Yoda. At this point, CNN reporter Jim LaCostraNostra has learned that George Soros is the only one old enough to be able to point at Yoda as a suspect. If this connection is made and verified it will mean Hillary is the rightful President, and all of Trump’s actions as President are invalid. All of Hillary’s policies will come into effect retroactively. Among them Past President Obama will return to the administration in the position of Darth Veeder. His first act will be to execute Trump with his light saber by public decapitation.

It is time for this author to sign off and to seek nourishment and stimulation for his brain cells. It seems his imagination has run amok. Could it be that Yoda has secretly invaded his brain and caused him to bare this ugly truth? 

Time for some decaf coffee and nuts.

PSA-181112-English for the Advanced Student

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You think English is easy??  
 
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture..

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

 
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

 
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

 
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?  

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England nor French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese? So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. – Why doesn’t ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’?

PSA-181108-Punny Stuff

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1.     The meaning of opaque is unclear.
2.      I wasn’t going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
3.      Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s very time-consuming.
4.      A man tried to assault me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy!
5.      I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
6.      If there was someone selling marijuana in our neighborhood, weed know about it.
7.      It’s a lengthy article about ancient Japanese sword fighters, but I can Sumurais it for you.
8.      It’s not that the man couldn’t juggle; he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
9.      So what if I don’t know the meaning of the word “apocalypse”? It’s not the end of the world.
10.    Police were called to the daycare center. A three-year-old was resisting a rest.
11.    The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.
12.    Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.
13.    Alternative facts are aversion of the truth.
14.    I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
15.    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
16.    Did you know they won’t be making yardsticks any longer?
17.    I used to be allergic to soap, but I’m clean now.
18.    The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.
19.    What did the man say when the bridge fell on him? “The suspension is killing me.”
20.    Do you have weight loss mantras? Fat chants!
21.    My tailor is happy to make a new pair of pants for me. Or sew it seams.
22.    What is a thesaurus’s favorite dessert? Synonym buns.
23.    A relief map shows where the restrooms are.
24.    There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.
25.    How do they figure the price of hammers? Per pound

Deconstruct America?

 

walkers

I hear the word reform being used by politicians and news pundits almost daily. Most of the time they are discussing the USA immigration policy. Another word they use even more often than reform is broken, “our immigration laws are broken,” etc. The action I see people taking, however, does not fit the definition of reform. For instance, the caravan of 14,000 invaders marching northward from Central America to take advantage of the “broken” system. These soldiers are not reforming America to improve it, they are marching to wriggle in through a crack in the system to take it over.

All of this got me to thinking about how they really want to change America. What the people in organized groups like la Raza want is a deconstruction of America. What do I mean by that? An open border existed from the beginning of time when neanderthals roamed the earth until the day Mexico lost a war with the USA and the outcome was a line drawn in the sand and water dividing two groups of people into two distinct countries. Before that the Spaniards landed on the West coast and decided to civilize the Mayans, Aztecs, Apaches, and all the other native people’s who lived and roamed freely between the territory now split into two. They didn’t need borders because they decided all of the land was theirs. I have to give it to the Spaniards because they left America with a legacy that the natives all love and thrive on, i.e. language, and religion. Yet, the further south one travels from Mexico into the isthmus connecting North to South America we begin to see borders. In that tiny space defined by the Atlantic and Pacific oceans, North and South America there are seven countries all speaking Spanish and living in similar cultures. Going across the Panama canal one enters South America also largely inhabited by Spanish-speaking people. There are borders defining all of these countries. The natives move somewhat freely from country to country without much ado. All one needs is to carry his official identification papers.

Why doesn’t la Raza make a big to-do about all the borders in these territories? Probably because if the natives follow the rules and carry their ID’s they can pass freely. What I don’t understand is why these same natives refuse to follow laws when they move northward. All a person needs to get into the U.S. is a VISA.

Going back to my original reason for this essay, after the border is erased and all remnants of the wall are destroyed Mexican and Central Americans will want their territory back. “The Mexican Cession consisted of present-day U.S. states of California, Nevada, Utah, most of Arizona, about half of New Mexico, about a quarter of Colorado, and a small section of Wyoming.” Now, we’re talking some serious real estate.

To continue the deconstruction of the United States (US) the next move will be to give the Louisiana Purchase back to France. That moves the border to the middle of the Mississippi river. The tribes of North America ( and those from the south would reestablish their warring rivalries as they beat each other up to find food, women, and exercise their warrior status. Right around the same time we negotiated the deal with France we bought some property from Spain called Florida. In our project to deconstruct the US we’ll also have to give Florida back to Spain. Didn’t they own all of North America from Utah south into South America? Gosh they were land hogs?  “The Spanish expression la Raza (literally ‘the Race’) refers to the Hispanophone populations (primarily though not always exclusively in the Western Hemisphere) . . . . ”

I almost forgot, before we go further we should sever Hawaii and Alaska from the Union and give them back to their rightful owners. Who is that? Hawaii was a kingdom when Captain Cook discovered it. Afterwards the islands were settled by farmers from many countries, but most from the US. So we would have to concede Hawaii back to the natives who could reestablish a kingdom and reinstitute their practice of human sacrifice. As an aside, Hawaiians recently voted to dissociate itself from the Union. Voters rejected the idea unanimously.

President Seward made a deal with the Russians to buy Alaska, and paid an outlandish fifteen millions dollars for it. The deal became know as Seward’s Folly. The Russians would gladly take Alaska back from us and use it to threaten us with mayhem of their design.

The next phase of deconstruction will make the “Treaty of Paris officially ending the War of Independence. . . ” null and void. The Treaty of Paris also defined “. . .  the boundaries of the new nation: the Atlantic Ocean on the East; the Mississippi River on the West; Canada on the North; and Spanish Florida on the South.”

The project doesn’t end with the thirteen colonies belonging to Great Britain. We will have to go back to Columbus and remove all traces of colonization by Great Britain, Spain, France, Holland, and other European countries that were greedy for land and power.

What is currently happening is a war between the Spanish colonies and the American colonies. The Spanish legacy continues to spread its language and religion northward.

What I was hoping to do by writing this piece is to define for myself the root cause of the border migration.  It hasn’t really shed any new light on my thinking. One point that is evident is that the Spanish legacy within Mexico and Latin America is very strong. Is it because the people who evolved from the Spanish incursion have a grudge to even? Are they purposefully getting back at the United States for the atrocities committed on them by Spanish conquerors?

Is it racism? the term la Raza (the Race) certainly points to racism as a reason to conquer the border. Certainly in this day of racial division we don’t need another divide, but we have it, and it doesn’t seem to be getting easier to assimilate into one bunch of united and happy people’s. Or is this just one of many ways to pick on the world’s number one country? Leaders have always competed against upstarts that feel they have a better way to lead, govern, expand, enlighten, or enrich.( I deliberately left out pillage, rape, and kill because we are better than that today, or are we?)

At this point in history, the US is being attacked from many angles by ideologies and causes. Which will prevail? The reason America is exceptional is because of its Constitution and the dedication to maintaining it as a system of governance. The liberties afforded our citizens have allowed the country to grow and increase in wealth. We are not locked into socialism which restricts people from expanding themselves. We are free to choose our own destiny by how we do business, how we worship, or how we adhere to our laws.  We choose to  move freely across our state borders without any need for a Visa, passport, or ID’s. our currency is uniform, and our language is uniform. We have some minor cultural differences, but none that restrict any of us from doing what we please.

The USA has invested heavily in infrastructure nationwide, and this has enabled us to expand our businesses and to roam freely about the country. We don’t worry if the water is safe to drink when we move to another state, it is safe. We get the same emergency treatment at hospitals and on the road. We never worry about language barriers, or currency differences. Food is readily available because of entrepreneurs who operate cafe’s or run franchises. Safety is uniformly taught and practiced. Our police and fire departments are noted for their efficiency. The list of reasons why we are a great country is immense.

In the US a single person is defined as living in poverty if he lives on less than $32.87 per day. In Mexico the same person lives in poverty at $5.23 per day, and in Central America that same person lives on $4.00 per day. To me this is the root cause of the  problem. These people are starving and need a meal. They want to come to America out of desperation and need. They really love living where they were born, but between gangs and starvation they take desperate measures to survive, like walking two thousand miles in flip-flops to make it to the promised land. The problem is that they need a VISA and no one has told them that. It is rumored that political factions within the US spread the word that all they have to do is show up and seek asylum. Except, even asylum seekers have rules to follow and they break them when they arrive. Asylum is granted by the first country beyond the one you live in. A caravaner from Honduras has passed through Guatemala and Mexico before he arrives at the US border. As an attempt to appease President Trump, Mexico offered asylum to the group, but only a small handful accepted the deal, the rest are going for the brass ring.

What is the answer? Deconstruct the United States and start all over again. That will transfer the  problem to the nut jobs that are working overtime to destroy the US. The final answer will be equal misery for everyone, except of course the people in charge.

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