Points of View

AAKTAN 1930s ROMANTIC COUPLE AT DINING TABLE MAN KISSING WOMAN S HAND

Words with two Meanings
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female…… Any part under a car’s hood.
Male….. The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female…. Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male….. Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female… The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male… Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.
Female….. A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male…… Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female…. A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male…… Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female…. An embarrassing by-product of indigestion.
Male…… A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female…… The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male….. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female… A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male… A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
AND . . .
He said… I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.
She said….You wear pants don’t you?
He said….Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said… That’s a good idea – you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said….. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said ….Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said…. Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said…..Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

Coming From Someone Younger

One thing old guys like me get from the youth is that I’m too old and I don’t understand the problems of youth. Well, granted my youth has been long gone, but I remember what my feelings were when I was young and what my priorities were. They aren’t much different today than they were in 1950. There were some big differences, like we didn’t have TV, or video games or computers, or social media to complicate our lives. In fact, telephones were still a rarity. I found this video by an Eagle Scout which pretty much sums up my feelings on the matter of the Boy Scouts bending to the will of communists, and he is spot on.

We’Ve Come A Long Way, Or Have We?

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I Just Couldn’t Resist

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 —
CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at
her. She

immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved
again.. The man seemed

more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she
complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)
what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, ‘Well your Honour, it was like this: when
the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her

condition. She sat down under a sign that said, ‘The
Double Mint Twins are coming’ and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,
‘Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling,’ and I had to
smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
‘William’s Big Stick Did the Trick,’ and I could hardly contain myself.
But, Your Honour, when she moved the fourth time
and sat under a sign that said,
‘Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!’
… I just lost it.
‘CASE DISMISSED!!’

Fence Me In

 

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I grew up listening to a cowboy song called “Don’t Fence Me In.” The lyrics brought one to imagine living in a place so large and so free that it was eden like.

Don’t Fence Me In
Oh give me land, lots of land, and the starry skies above
Don’t fence me in
Let me ride through the wide open country that I love
Don’t fence me in
Let me be by myself in the evening breeze
And listen to the murmur of the cottonwood trees
Send me off forever but I ask you please
Don’t fence me in
Just turn me loose, let me straddle my old saddle on
Underneath the western skies
On my cayuse, let me wander over yonder
Till I see the mountains rise
I want to ride to the ridge where the West commences
To many words, gaze at the moon till I lose my senses
And I can’t look at hobbles and I can’t stand fences
Don’t fence me in
Oh give me land, lots of land, and the starry skies above
Don’t fence me in
Let me ride through the wide open country that I love
Don’t fence

When I hear arguments from liberals about against a border fence I wonder if it is because they were raised hearing this song. Since one has to be a septuagenarian to know this song it can’t be the reason, because there are not that many of us.
Even though I loved this song when I was twelve times have changed and so has my body clock. Now, I want to be fenced in, i.e. into the United States. The idea of being fenced inside a nursing home still repulses me. I’d sooner live with the rattle snakes than in a holding tank for the grim reaper. Perhaps in another ten years I will change my mind and look forward to being tended to by lovely women paid to humor me.
I see the border fence as a necessity like the Great Wall Of China, and Hadrian’s wall in England.  Neither of those walls was fool-proof but one doesn’t see too many foreigners living in China. I see the wall along our southern border to control the influx of foreigners. We need foreigners to make up for all the native babies being aborted yearly. Combine abortions with the lack of young women bearing children and our population is in jeopardy of extinction. Let us screw for recreation without bearing the responsibility of rearing the offspring, and by the way let our women do the same, except, we want our women to feed us, keep our clothes and homes clean just as they did in primitive days, but they don’t have to raise kids. We just want them around to feed our libidos, and to make repeated trips to the frig to run a long neck to our loungers while we view Cro-magnon men bully each other on the grid-iron, and kneel during the playing of our national anthem.
What we really need is a fence with an occasional break in it to allow people to get into our mecca. Uncle Sam will build huge welcoming centers at each opening to process the millions of people eager to begin washing all those dishes in all our restaurants across the country.
The processing centers will do things like conduct back-ground checks, and issue visas to make the visitor compliant with our laws. Of course Mexico will go to war with us on this matter because the many Coyotes employed to smuggle people in will become jobless. The Drug cartels will have to build an army of trebuchets to launch huge packages of drugs over the fences. Caterpillar will sell Mexico billions of dollars worth of mining equipment to bore tunnels under the wall large enough to allow semi-trucks filled with drugs to enter. The wall will be good for business, and the immigrants too. Why? Because they will lose the illegal moniker and be qualified for all benefits without us being able to complain about it. Democrats will be happy too, because they will register all the new entrants to vote at the same time they are issued visas.
The EPA will raise hell with the wall because the lizards will be unable to move freely, and their yearly migration patterns will be disturbed causing the lizard population to head toward extinction. No lizards? What will the rattle snakes eat?
The USA will also have to go to  war with Mexico again to take some more land. We need the Rio Grande to be within the USA. That way we can build the wall on our land south of the river and not worry about how to build the wall down the middle of the river. Of course we couldn’t build the wall on our side of the river because that would cede ground to Mexico.
I wonder how the graffiti artists will make out? The paint companies will cash in supplying spray cans of the primary colors so the artists of both countries could express themselves freely upon the new surface. Travel agents will prosper by selling tours along each side of the wall to view the graffiti. Think of the many fiestas that could be planned along the wall to celebrate feast days. We would have enough room to display giant portraits of every president and his mistresses. People would flock to see the spectacle just as we do to see Mount Rushmore.
I intended this piece to be a satire on liberal attitudes toward the fence, but instead it evolved into a fun time brainstorming possibilities the fence will yield.
I can’t wait to book my fence graffiti tour!
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Devolving

575

Early English Territory Occupied By Tribes

MODERN_ENGLISH_COUNTIES.jpg

Modern English Counties

I am reading a fascinating series of books labeled The Camulod Chronicles. At this point I have completed six of the eight volumes. It is historical fiction based on Arthurian legend. The island we now today as Britain is a territory of warring tribes. The people of these tribes do not trust anybody, ever. They are this way because when one tribe roams into the territory of another tribe it is because they are seeking to take over land, food, women, or valuables. Consequently, each tribe sought to defend itself, and often the outcome was war. These meetings on the battlefield ended when on of the tribes ran out of living warriors. The tribe with the most able warriors plundered, raped, and occupied as was their winning right.

The time period for this story is 400-500 A.D. There were no countries as we know them today, only groups of people who lived near each other for protection. In areas where the group was large the tribe carried a name like Gaul, Saxon, or Dane, and they occupied a large area. As time progressed some of these tribes updated their protection systems by building fortifications. When sighting the enemy the locals all herded into the fort, and closed the gates. Most tribes had one man who ruled over all the others as king or warlord.

The Camulod Chronicles narrates the evolution of the many tribes into an alliance of tribes which eventually become a single kingdom made up of many smaller kingdoms. Throughout the story I couldn’t help thinking of how our current world is trying so hard to devolve back into a wild state of existence. The longing for open borders with men traveling from place to place freely is reminiscent of the original tribes who wandered and looked for something better by deliberately wandering into a neighbors territory.

Europe was the territory inhabited by tribes which eventually defined themselves into discrete territories with boundaries. They gave their domains names likes France, Germany, Spain, Belgium, Denmark, Austria, Sweden, Finland, Norway, and England. They all had boundaries, discreet languages, laws, and governments. Then in the late sixties there were some on the continent of Europe who thought it might be more efficient if they united into a single entity like the United States. One of the first things they did was to open their borders to allow people to have free movement from place to place. Then over a period of twenty to thirty years they standardized on a currency. Things were going along pretty smoothly until the head of the European Union began to place restrictions and regulations into place that silently began to change the cultures of the nations.

Another event happened more recently, that is the mass migration of Muslims from war-torn countries disguised as refugees. Nothing could be done to stop the flow because the borders were open and the migrants were free to roam as they pleased looking for countries with social systems that they could plunder. Britain wised up and decided to exit the European Union and to reclaim its sovereignty as an independent nation. My guess is that is because Britain has a good sense of history and has rejected the progressive idea that history must be rewritten to encompass  the vision of the future. The Camulod Chronicles splendidly depicts the story of how painful it was for Britain to become the great country it is

Perhaps the European Union will succeed some day into uniting the countries of Europe into one nation. While this evolution is taking place I venture to guess that the EU will undergo several periods of devolution.

In the meantime, the same genius jerks who propose to unite Europe are working overtime to devolve the United States into a primitive un-united warring state.

The Chinese curse is working, “May You Live In Interesting Times.”

My View

I believe that if we could look back in time to the beginning of man on earth there would emerge a pattern of behavior that is still being practiced to this day, men are men and women are women. When Adam first found Eve in the Garden of Eden how did he approach her? Did he immediately realize that he must woo her with words, and flowers, and candy, or did he see her beauty and decide to play feely-uppy to learn what it was all about?  Men are like that you know. Our brains react to the visual, and our first tendencies are to follow our instincts to explore the wondrous specimen of humankind that God placed on this earth for us.

The issue of sexual harassment is not new, I am sure that men touching women is a practice as old as Adam and Eve, but it has been redefined from an act of courtship to one of harassment. Modern man has to realize that modern woman has come into her own right. She is equal to man (as she always was), and must be treated with the greatest of respect. After all men don’t go around touching men in the workplace, that is if you are heterosexual. The great one who is an uncle to all of us and who lives in the fancy domed house on the Washington Mall has deemed the practice of a man touching a woman as evil and as such she has a right to call it out and to punish the man. Unless of course for whatever phase of hormonal balance she is in when she may even encourage the practice. The poor man, however, not knowing the phase of lady-hormones uses the level of his own hormones as the gauge to react.

Uncle did not take men’s hormones into consideration when he wrote the laws on sexual harassment. His intention was to assure himself of further employment by catering to the desires fo the Women’s Liberation Movement. The result is that we have women who take advantage of this law, and choose to strike out against the men she believes need striking. One problem in this process that uncle invented is the hypocrisy of lawmakers. They invented the law, but decided that adherence to said law only applies to the lowly common man. Therefore, we have a conundrum, that is we have the uncle-men who women accuse of inappropriate behavior, and who truly believe the law is for the lowly serf and not for them.

So what are people to do? Surely, we have grown  intellectually since Adam and Eve. We have increased our knowledge and understanding of the human body. We are very aware of the effect of hormones on our psyche, and we have developed intensely strong will power to resist temptations of any magnitude, so what are we lacking? It is my opinion that we have forgotten about the natural impulses of a man to a woman, or of a woman to a man. That impulse is there but the sexes are not always synchronized to each other. Why? I don’t think there are enough words in the dictionary to use in all the tomes written on this subject because the reasons for disparity between the sexes is infinite.

The best solution is to use one that I grew up with. When a man does something inappropriate to a woman she hauls off and slaps the shit out of him. Trust me that works. One slap across the face will redirect the man’s attention from his intention and reset his psyche. There is no need for laws, or for complaints, just plain old common sense. Well, what if the man decides the woman hurt his feelings and files charges against him? Let’s just say that she can explain to the authorities exactly why she mis-aligned his jaw. In the good old days, a man’s wife would further the damage to his psyche and jaw if she found out about his behavior, especially in a public forum.

I guess we are just too educated and too civilized to think and behave in such crude way anymore. We prefer to take the litigious route and let judges decide what is best for us, instead of our own brains. Then we write letters to our man in uncle’s white house to write new laws to keep people from behaving like people. It is kind of like taking guns away from people to stop people from killing each other.

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