What a Revoltin’ Development This Is

Those of you who know me know that I am a very conservative guy. I believe in paying only those taxes that are lawfully mine to pay. I own firearms and am a strong supporter of the Second Amendment. I support legal immigration only. It isn’t that hard to get in folks; play by the rules. I believe DACA is a ploy to weasel more illegals into the country. I hate socialism with a vengeance. Socialists are just communists in sheep’s clothing. I want the wall, and promoted Obama’s shovel ready stimulus of eight hundred billion dollars. It could have paid for walls on the North and South borders in a heart beat, with money left over to rebuild every bridge in America, and people would have gone to work. I believe in personal responsibility, and paying my way. That is how my democrat parents raised me. My parents were democrats because that is what my Dad’s bosses told him he was, and Dad told Mom. The Democrats are for the working man they told him. My parents lived their lives as conservatives. They had to, they came to this country legally through Ellis Island, had sponsors and jobs lined up. Then the Great Depression hit, and had to live on a shoe string. They abhorred “charity” from the government. Toward the end of her life my siblings and I learned that Mom may have been in the country illegally, but that is another story and a good one too. What I am trying to say is that I believe strongly in immigration. My only problem is with “illegal” immigration.

Eventually, I will get to the main point of this essay, bear with me.

Yesterday, my house cleaning crew came. House cleaning is one of those jobs that I refuse to do, so I delegate it to someone else, but they don’t work for free. The crew is a mother and daughter from Mexico. For the past three years that they have worked for me I have always wondered if they were here legally. It has been twenty years since they arrived, I thought at worst they may have been part of an amnesty. I still don’t know. I love to tease the daughter about her work habits, and often ask her why she doesn’t further her education. She never gives me a good answer. She was three when her parents brought her to America. She speaks excellent english without a hint of an accent, but she rattles off Spanish to her mother who still doesn’t speak English well. The Señorita has a good grasp of our government and the Constitution.

These women do excellent work, and Senora’s husband works for a remodeling contractor. Señor has also worked for me painting and dry walling. All of them work like the Energizer Bunny, they just keep on going. The entire family is religious and close-knit with many friends and relatives.

Daughter told me she is going to get a job in 2019. I asked her why when she is self-employed? “Well if I don’t get a job, I will lose my DACA and get put a deportation list.” WHAT? Why are you a part of DACA?”

“My mother thought it would be the best way for me to get a Social Security number.”

The wheels began spinning in my head. Obama invented DACA to allow unaccompanied minors into the country. This young lady has been here for twenty years she is twenty-three now. She wasn’t a minor, nor was she unaccompanied when she arrived. Given that DACA is six years old she would have been sixteen at the time and probably could have passed for younger.

All this is making my head explode. I feel for this girl. At three years old she didn’t come here by herself, her parents dragged her. Being an obedient child she obeys her parents. She is a victim of our government, and a Congress to unable to straighten out the mess, but she is also a victim of her parents. They are living the better life they came here to live; a house, cars, smart phones, and all the amenities of an American family.

What really scares me is how many more kids have signed up for DACA. I don’t think the law intended to include kids who have been here for thirteen years. No wonder the politicians call it a broken system. They have rewritten the immigration law in little dribs and drabs to the point where it is undecipherable and impossible to enforce. Combine that with an open border and the flood gates are open.

Now, here is the revoltin’ development. What do I do? Do I keep things the same? These people have become my friends and certainly do excellent work for me. Do I report them and become the Scrooge of the century? What do I do?  Yes, “what a revoltin’ development this is.”

Based on how easy it was for my friends to come here and to sign on to DACA thirteen years later I’d say the entire country has a revoltin’ development. How many hundreds or thousands of kids have joined the fray making it too big to fail? It’ll take Trump six years to straighten this out because of all the preposterous jack asses in the country who fight against him from every angle. We not only need to drain the swamp from all the government insider freeloaders we have to vote out the entire Congress. I think a shooting war would be easier; another revoltin’ development.

 

Random Thinking While Drinking

 I was thinking;

If only 11 million people have Obama-Care, how will 24 million people die if it is repealed?  Will an additional 13 million people be randomly shot, poisoned, or spayed?

I was thinking;

If Donald Trump deleted all his emails, wiped his server with Bleachbit (like Hillary) and destroyed all of his phones with a hammer, would the Mainstream Media suddenly lose all interest in the story and declare him innocent (like Hillary).

I was thinking;

If women do the same job for less money, why do companies hire men to do the same job for more money?

I was thinking;

If you rob a bank in a Sanctuary City, is it illegal or is it just an Undocumented Withdrawal?

I was thinking;

Each ISIS attack now is a reaction to Trump policies, but all ISIS attacks during Obama’s term were due to Climate Change and a plea for jobs.

I was thinking;

We should stop calling them all ‘Entitlements’. Welfare, Food Stamps, WIC, ad nausea are not entitlements, they are taxpayer-funded handouts, and shouldn’t be called entitlements at all.  Social Security and Veterans Benefits are Entitlements because the people receiving them are entitled to them. They were earned and paid for by the recipients.

I was thinking;

If Muslims want to run away from a Muslim country, does that mean they’re Islamophobic?

I was thinking;

If Liberals don’t believe in biological gender and promote transgenders, then why did they march for women’s rights?

I was thinking;

How did the Russians get Debbie Wasserman Schultz and the DNC to steal the Primary from Bernie Sanders?  How did Russia get Donna Brazile to leak debate questions to Hillary Clinton in advance of the debates?

I was thinking;

Why is it that Democrats think Super delegates are fine, but they have a problem with the Electoral College?

I was thinking;

If you don’t want the FBI involved in elections, don’t nominate someone who’s being investigated by the FBI.

I was thinking;

If Hillary’s speeches/screeches cost $250,000 an hour, how come no one shows up to her free ones?

I was thinking;

The DNC is mad at Russia because they ‘think’ they are trying to manipulate our election by exposing that the DNC is manipulating our election.

I was thinking;

If Democrats don’t want foreigners involved in our elections,  why do they think it’s all right for illegal’s to vote?

Remember, Drink, don’t Think!

 

Is It Just Me?

DNA Links Snipes to Yoda

It seems that we are seeking the answers in the wrong places. If we want to find collusion between the USA and another country trying to influence our elections we should follow this lead. Dr. Brenda Snipes the election judge in Broward County Florida has connections with an interplanetary source. The source exposed in the movie Star Wars is trying to swing the planet into a socialist-orb. Dr. Snipes has done an outstanding job of confusing election results and manipulating ballots in a way that can only be explained by a seer such as Yoda. Rumor has it that Yoda is related to Ms Snipe. 

Why else would a credible Democrat election official be pointed at as incompetent, and derelict in her duties to certify an election within the lawfully specified time allotted for counting unless she is under the spell of Yoda? Could Yoda have been chosen to swing the election to the dark side?Special Prosecutor Mueller should be directed to investigate if there is collusion between Trump and the Death Star. Did Trump engage Yoda to interfere with the election to eliminate Hillary from contention?

CNN is tracking the connection between Snipes and Yoda. At this point, CNN reporter Jim LaCostraNostra has learned that George Soros is the only one old enough to be able to point at Yoda as a suspect. If this connection is made and verified it will mean Hillary is the rightful President, and all of Trump’s actions as President are invalid. All of Hillary’s policies will come into effect retroactively. Among them Past President Obama will return to the administration in the position of Darth Veeder. His first act will be to execute Trump with his light saber by public decapitation.

It is time for this author to sign off and to seek nourishment and stimulation for his brain cells. It seems his imagination has run amok. Could it be that Yoda has secretly invaded his brain and caused him to bare this ugly truth? 

Time for some decaf coffee and nuts.

PSA-180818-For the Fun Of It

Just For Fun

Do you know who is in the operating room with your surgeon? I dare you to open this link.

Fence Me In

 

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I grew up listening to a cowboy song called “Don’t Fence Me In.” The lyrics brought one to imagine living in a place so large and so free that it was eden like.

Don’t Fence Me In
Oh give me land, lots of land, and the starry skies above
Don’t fence me in
Let me ride through the wide open country that I love
Don’t fence me in
Let me be by myself in the evening breeze
And listen to the murmur of the cottonwood trees
Send me off forever but I ask you please
Don’t fence me in
Just turn me loose, let me straddle my old saddle on
Underneath the western skies
On my cayuse, let me wander over yonder
Till I see the mountains rise
I want to ride to the ridge where the West commences
To many words, gaze at the moon till I lose my senses
And I can’t look at hobbles and I can’t stand fences
Don’t fence me in
Oh give me land, lots of land, and the starry skies above
Don’t fence me in
Let me ride through the wide open country that I love
Don’t fence

When I hear arguments from liberals about against a border fence I wonder if it is because they were raised hearing this song. Since one has to be a septuagenarian to know this song it can’t be the reason, because there are not that many of us.
Even though I loved this song when I was twelve times have changed and so has my body clock. Now, I want to be fenced in, i.e. into the United States. The idea of being fenced inside a nursing home still repulses me. I’d sooner live with the rattle snakes than in a holding tank for the grim reaper. Perhaps in another ten years I will change my mind and look forward to being tended to by lovely women paid to humor me.
I see the border fence as a necessity like the Great Wall Of China, and Hadrian’s wall in England.  Neither of those walls was fool-proof but one doesn’t see too many foreigners living in China. I see the wall along our southern border to control the influx of foreigners. We need foreigners to make up for all the native babies being aborted yearly. Combine abortions with the lack of young women bearing children and our population is in jeopardy of extinction. Let us screw for recreation without bearing the responsibility of rearing the offspring, and by the way let our women do the same, except, we want our women to feed us, keep our clothes and homes clean just as they did in primitive days, but they don’t have to raise kids. We just want them around to feed our libidos, and to make repeated trips to the frig to run a long neck to our loungers while we view Cro-magnon men bully each other on the grid-iron, and kneel during the playing of our national anthem.
What we really need is a fence with an occasional break in it to allow people to get into our mecca. Uncle Sam will build huge welcoming centers at each opening to process the millions of people eager to begin washing all those dishes in all our restaurants across the country.
The processing centers will do things like conduct back-ground checks, and issue visas to make the visitor compliant with our laws. Of course Mexico will go to war with us on this matter because the many Coyotes employed to smuggle people in will become jobless. The Drug cartels will have to build an army of trebuchets to launch huge packages of drugs over the fences. Caterpillar will sell Mexico billions of dollars worth of mining equipment to bore tunnels under the wall large enough to allow semi-trucks filled with drugs to enter. The wall will be good for business, and the immigrants too. Why? Because they will lose the illegal moniker and be qualified for all benefits without us being able to complain about it. Democrats will be happy too, because they will register all the new entrants to vote at the same time they are issued visas.
The EPA will raise hell with the wall because the lizards will be unable to move freely, and their yearly migration patterns will be disturbed causing the lizard population to head toward extinction. No lizards? What will the rattle snakes eat?
The USA will also have to go to  war with Mexico again to take some more land. We need the Rio Grande to be within the USA. That way we can build the wall on our land south of the river and not worry about how to build the wall down the middle of the river. Of course we couldn’t build the wall on our side of the river because that would cede ground to Mexico.
I wonder how the graffiti artists will make out? The paint companies will cash in supplying spray cans of the primary colors so the artists of both countries could express themselves freely upon the new surface. Travel agents will prosper by selling tours along each side of the wall to view the graffiti. Think of the many fiestas that could be planned along the wall to celebrate feast days. We would have enough room to display giant portraits of every president and his mistresses. People would flock to see the spectacle just as we do to see Mount Rushmore.
I intended this piece to be a satire on liberal attitudes toward the fence, but instead it evolved into a fun time brainstorming possibilities the fence will yield.
I can’t wait to book my fence graffiti tour!
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Where Is Eden?

Dear Diary:

Aug. 12: Moved to our new home in Illinois. It is so beautiful here. The scenery is wonderful. Can hardly wait to see it with snow covering the landscape. I love it here!

Oct. 14: Illinois is the most beautiful place on Earth! The leaves have turned all colors with shades of red and orange. Went for a ride in the country and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on Earth. This must be Paradise. I love it here!

Nov. 11: Deer season will start soon. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.

Dec. 2: It snowed last night! Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snow ball fight (I won), and when the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Illinois.

Dec. 12: More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick to the driveway again. I love it here.

Dec. 19: More snow last night. I couldn’t get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Damn snow plow.

Dec. 22: More of that white shit fell last night. I’ve got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the curve and waits until I am done shoveling the driveway. Asshole!

Dec. 26: Merry stinking Christmas. More damn snow! If I ever get my hands on that son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I’ll kill the bastard. Don’t know why they don’t use more salt on the roads to melt the damn ice.

Dec. 28: More white shit last night. Been inside for 3 days except for the shoveling out the driveway after every time the snow plow goes through. Can’t go anywhere, car’s stuck in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says to expect another 10″ of the shit again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow are in 10″??

Dec. 29: The stinking weatherman was wrong. We got 12″ of the white shit this time. At this rate it won’t melt before next summer. The snowplow got stuck up the road and that bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had already broken six shovels while shoveling all the damn snow he pushed into the driveway, I broke the last one over his damn head.

Jan. 4: Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a damned deer ran in front of the car and I hit it. Did about $3000 damage to the car. Those damn beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.

May 3: Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusting our from that damned salt they put all over the road??!

May 10: Moved to Arizona. I can’t imagine why anyone in his right mind would ever live in the state of Illinois.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MOVING TO ARIZONA

May 30th — Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my home. I love it here!

June 14th — Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I’m turning into a real sun worshipper.

June 30th — Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here!

July 10th — The temperature hasn’t been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it’s a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th — Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learrned my lesson though: got to respect the ol’ sun in a climate like this.

July 25th — Dry f***ing heat, my ass. Hot is hot!! The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th — Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,100 in damn house payments and we can’t even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug 4th — 115 degrees. Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. Stupid repairman pissed in my pool. I hate this f***ing state.

Aug 8th — If another wise ass cracks, “Hot enough for ya today?”, I’m going to tear his f***ing throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet.

Aug 10th — The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and Sunny. It’s been too hot to f*** for two damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn’t it ever rain in this barren damn desert?? Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the pool. Even a cactus can’t live in this heat.

Aug 14th — Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the f***ing windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, “Hot enough for ya today?” My wife had to spend the $1,100 house payment to bail me out of jail.

Aug 30th — Worst day of the damn summer. I’m not leaving the house. The monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell. The Lincoln is now floating somewher

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