Just For Fun

Do you know who is in the operating room with your surgeon? I dare you to open this link.

Fence Me In



I grew up listening to a cowboy song called “Don’t Fence Me In.” The lyrics brought one to imagine living in a place so large and so free that it was eden like.

Don’t Fence Me In
Oh give me land, lots of land, and the starry skies above
Don’t fence me in
Let me ride through the wide open country that I love
Don’t fence me in
Let me be by myself in the evening breeze
And listen to the murmur of the cottonwood trees
Send me off forever but I ask you please
Don’t fence me in
Just turn me loose, let me straddle my old saddle on
Underneath the western skies
On my cayuse, let me wander over yonder
Till I see the mountains rise
I want to ride to the ridge where the West commences
To many words, gaze at the moon till I lose my senses
And I can’t look at hobbles and I can’t stand fences
Don’t fence me in
Oh give me land, lots of land, and the starry skies above
Don’t fence me in
Let me ride through the wide open country that I love
Don’t fence

When I hear arguments from liberals about against a border fence I wonder if it is because they were raised hearing this song. Since one has to be a septuagenarian to know this song it can’t be the reason, because there are not that many of us.
Even though I loved this song when I was twelve times have changed and so has my body clock. Now, I want to be fenced in, i.e. into the United States. The idea of being fenced inside a nursing home still repulses me. I’d sooner live with the rattle snakes than in a holding tank for the grim reaper. Perhaps in another ten years I will change my mind and look forward to being tended to by lovely women paid to humor me.
I see the border fence as a necessity like the Great Wall Of China, and Hadrian’s wall in England.  Neither of those walls was fool-proof but one doesn’t see too many foreigners living in China. I see the wall along our southern border to control the influx of foreigners. We need foreigners to make up for all the native babies being aborted yearly. Combine abortions with the lack of young women bearing children and our population is in jeopardy of extinction. Let us screw for recreation without bearing the responsibility of rearing the offspring, and by the way let our women do the same, except, we want our women to feed us, keep our clothes and homes clean just as they did in primitive days, but they don’t have to raise kids. We just want them around to feed our libidos, and to make repeated trips to the frig to run a long neck to our loungers while we view Cro-magnon men bully each other on the grid-iron, and kneel during the playing of our national anthem.
What we really need is a fence with an occasional break in it to allow people to get into our mecca. Uncle Sam will build huge welcoming centers at each opening to process the millions of people eager to begin washing all those dishes in all our restaurants across the country.
The processing centers will do things like conduct back-ground checks, and issue visas to make the visitor compliant with our laws. Of course Mexico will go to war with us on this matter because the many Coyotes employed to smuggle people in will become jobless. The Drug cartels will have to build an army of trebuchets to launch huge packages of drugs over the fences. Caterpillar will sell Mexico billions of dollars worth of mining equipment to bore tunnels under the wall large enough to allow semi-trucks filled with drugs to enter. The wall will be good for business, and the immigrants too. Why? Because they will lose the illegal moniker and be qualified for all benefits without us being able to complain about it. Democrats will be happy too, because they will register all the new entrants to vote at the same time they are issued visas.
The EPA will raise hell with the wall because the lizards will be unable to move freely, and their yearly migration patterns will be disturbed causing the lizard population to head toward extinction. No lizards? What will the rattle snakes eat?
The USA will also have to go to  war with Mexico again to take some more land. We need the Rio Grande to be within the USA. That way we can build the wall on our land south of the river and not worry about how to build the wall down the middle of the river. Of course we couldn’t build the wall on our side of the river because that would cede ground to Mexico.
I wonder how the graffiti artists will make out? The paint companies will cash in supplying spray cans of the primary colors so the artists of both countries could express themselves freely upon the new surface. Travel agents will prosper by selling tours along each side of the wall to view the graffiti. Think of the many fiestas that could be planned along the wall to celebrate feast days. We would have enough room to display giant portraits of every president and his mistresses. People would flock to see the spectacle just as we do to see Mount Rushmore.
I intended this piece to be a satire on liberal attitudes toward the fence, but instead it evolved into a fun time brainstorming possibilities the fence will yield.
I can’t wait to book my fence graffiti tour!


Where Is Eden?

Dear Diary:

Aug. 12: Moved to our new home in Illinois. It is so beautiful here. The scenery is wonderful. Can hardly wait to see it with snow covering the landscape. I love it here!

Oct. 14: Illinois is the most beautiful place on Earth! The leaves have turned all colors with shades of red and orange. Went for a ride in the country and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on Earth. This must be Paradise. I love it here!

Nov. 11: Deer season will start soon. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.

Dec. 2: It snowed last night! Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snow ball fight (I won), and when the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Illinois.

Dec. 12: More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick to the driveway again. I love it here.

Dec. 19: More snow last night. I couldn’t get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Damn snow plow.

Dec. 22: More of that white shit fell last night. I’ve got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the curve and waits until I am done shoveling the driveway. Asshole!

Dec. 26: Merry stinking Christmas. More damn snow! If I ever get my hands on that son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I’ll kill the bastard. Don’t know why they don’t use more salt on the roads to melt the damn ice.

Dec. 28: More white shit last night. Been inside for 3 days except for the shoveling out the driveway after every time the snow plow goes through. Can’t go anywhere, car’s stuck in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says to expect another 10″ of the shit again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow are in 10″??

Dec. 29: The stinking weatherman was wrong. We got 12″ of the white shit this time. At this rate it won’t melt before next summer. The snowplow got stuck up the road and that bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had already broken six shovels while shoveling all the damn snow he pushed into the driveway, I broke the last one over his damn head.

Jan. 4: Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a damned deer ran in front of the car and I hit it. Did about $3000 damage to the car. Those damn beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.

May 3: Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusting our from that damned salt they put all over the road??!

May 10: Moved to Arizona. I can’t imagine why anyone in his right mind would ever live in the state of Illinois.



May 30th — Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my home. I love it here!

June 14th — Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I’m turning into a real sun worshipper.

June 30th — Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here!

July 10th — The temperature hasn’t been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it’s a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th — Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learrned my lesson though: got to respect the ol’ sun in a climate like this.

July 25th — Dry f***ing heat, my ass. Hot is hot!! The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th — Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,100 in damn house payments and we can’t even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug 4th — 115 degrees. Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. Stupid repairman pissed in my pool. I hate this f***ing state.

Aug 8th — If another wise ass cracks, “Hot enough for ya today?”, I’m going to tear his f***ing throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet.

Aug 10th — The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and Sunny. It’s been too hot to f*** for two damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn’t it ever rain in this barren damn desert?? Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the pool. Even a cactus can’t live in this heat.

Aug 14th — Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the f***ing windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, “Hot enough for ya today?” My wife had to spend the $1,100 house payment to bail me out of jail.

Aug 30th — Worst day of the damn summer. I’m not leaving the house. The monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell. The Lincoln is now floating somewher

Liberal Sh_t Hole

If ever there was a shit hole of a place within our borders it is the city of San Francisco. I just came across a map showing outdoor defecation spots with in the city.


Sorry San Fran but the map is almost solid brown. In another article, a dingbat in California proudly proclaimed that Silicone Valley companies won’t locate in the middle states because there is nothing there for them. Here is what she (Dumb-shit) said:

“Melinda Byerley, MBA and founder of Timeshare CMO, a Silicon Valley-based tech start-up, tweeted out Saturday afternoon describing what middle America could do to “get more jobs in their area.”

“Byerley says that the first thing those in middle America need to realize is that “no educated person wants to live in a shithole with stupid people.” Particularly, in a “shithole” filled with people who are “violent, racist, and/or misogynistic.” In Byerley’s opinion, “big corporations,” do not consider moving to the heart of America because “those towns have nothing going for them.”

San Francisco is in the Silicone Valley area and it makes me wonder why the nerd-heads love living near piles of feces on the sidewalk. At least in the Mid-west our piles of outdoor feces are within fenced areas sometimes referred to as barnyards.

Silicone Valley companies don’t dare hire people from the Mid-west because they are smart enough to ask for more money than the favored Asian workers they so love. Trust me, I traveled to Asia because my company was one of those who wanted to take advantage of low wages. Why did I have to go there? Usually it was to train a bunch of Asians who spoke the King’s English, and had scholastic degrees and diplomas knee-deep, but couldn’t understand how to make a plastic mold work. The same molds, when in America, were operated by young men with high school diplomas who set records for production. Why? Because our high school diploma was the equivalent of a college degree in Asia. The people we used to maintain our molds were experts trained here in the Mid-west, and they knew how to deal with equipment requiring a degree of precision not yet understood in Asia.

True, Silicone Valley has done some really good work developing software that allows us to excel, but because of this they also believe their own personal defecate does not stink. Sorry Silicone Valley, but I’ll take the smell of cowshit and horseshit over your human





waste any day. I hold the line on pig-shit, it is the worst. Maybe I should box up about ten pounds of pig crap and ship it FedEx to the lady from Silicone Valley who abhors Mid-westerners.

PSA-170919-Baby Step to Improvement


For generations the Black community in Baltimore has been under assault by 4 Confederate Monuments! These monuments were relentless in their destruction of the Black family, resulting in over 70% of Black children being born out-of-wedlock.
So affected are Baltimoreans by these monuments that over 60% of Black men in the city could not work a job and found comfort in fathering many children with too many different women that they could not feed, nor support.
Just knowing that the monuments were there made Black school children have the lowest test scores in the Nation and many turned to drugs to relieve the pressures of those damnable monuments’ presence.
Worst of all, the mere existence of the monuments caused death! Not being able to handle the hate and violence that the monuments represented, the black men in the city took to killing each other. Just in the last 2 years they have murdered over 500 of their own!
It is a new occupying way-of-life! Praise be to God, and for the Wisdom of the Mayor…..
It is a new dawn for Black Baltimoreans! THE CITY CAN NOW PROSPER!
The shackles are gone, and we can all say…

“Free at last, free at last, Thank God Almighty, we’re free at last!”


One can now expect that Baltimore black men will marry their girl friends, and single mothers will become a term unheard of. All blacks who want a job to support their family will have one, and black children will have the social connection they need to succeed in school. Baltimore will be the model city in America proving once and for all that those damned Confederates were the cause of all racism, and hatred of blacks in America. There will no longer be a need for laws allowing blacks to receive favor for entrance into schools,  favored in job applications, and granted mortgages they can’t afford. Black Lives Matter, Jesse Jackson, and Al Sharpton will retire permanently because their cause is gone. America will be great again, and live happily ever after.

America Needs A Dictator

I’m wondering if the American dream has self destructed. With all of these hate groups running around free to do as they please, and obstruct others the question of whether or not liberty and freedom have been out-grown. When the country started we had an entire continent open to men who could find a place here where they could do as they please. If you had a gripe with someone and needed more space you moved west. When living in the wide open spaces, if a desperado knocked on your door looking to steal what you had, you could shoot him, or worse he could shoot you shove your body out the door, and move in. More than four hundred years have passed since the Pilgrims found the continent, and two hundred and forty-one since the country began, and the population has grown from a boat full to over three hundred million people have moved here to escape a place they felt was oppressive. They came with many new ideas of what they needed to be free, and to have liberty. In time the population has grown more dense, and the wide open spaces have narrowed significantly. You can’t just shoot someone who bothers young get away with it anymore.

Every law that has been passed encroaches on our freedom and liberty. Usually, the laws are for good reason i.e. to protect us from ourselves or from someone else. We now have so many laws that a new industry has grown up around it. We no longer send our kids to work in factories because they don’t exist here anymore. We send our kids to law school,  medical school, political science school, or finance school. All of these new industries have been pointing us toward a loss of liberty and freedom. It is easy to see how too many lawyers all needing to feed families will work to defend us from the thousands of laws being thrown at us. It is almost as easy to understand how having too many doctors begins to make us feel we have aright to health care, and political scientists are all dreaming up new ways to make government bow to demands like eliminating freedom of speech, or making me like someone of a different race or color. Political Scientists also come up with brainstorms like socialism, Arab Spring, Black Lives Matter.  Too many bankers are inundating us with dreams of living the high life by investing money we made working in factories. So where is a guy going to go to get away from all of this, MARS? If you want a factory job you have to move to China, Mexico, Central America, or the far east. The problem is that when we begin thinking about what we’d have to change in order to go live in another part of the world we realize that America is not such a bad place after all. If only there was peace, no terrorists, or protest groups.

I propose that we should install a Dictator. They have unique ways of dispatching protestors who oppose them by killing them, or throwing them into imprison first, and letting them die a slow death in prison. Dictators have very strong connections to the military, State Police, local police, and body guards. One nod to a chief and you are smoke. The big problem with dictators is that they don’t allow anyone to have freedom and liberty except themselves. What a dictatorship does accomplish is to unite all the different protestors into one big solid group that might be big enough to fight back. When we study the past, and we only have to go back a few years to see solid examples of dictatorships we find that the protestors never had a large enough base to fight back. Not until another country or a huge group like the Muslims became involved,. Take Saddam Hussein as an example. No one wanted to take him on until the USA decided it needed to play, and took him out. Of course that left a big void to fill. We were naive enough to think that the Iraqi protesters would all embrace democracy and set up elections within a week after the pulled Saddam out of his hole. Except for one thing. Democracy doesn’t come in a box from Amazon.

Muammar Gaddafi is another dictator that required the muslim world to take him out. Rebels from several muslim states banded together using money supplied by the USA. The rebels chased him down and finished him in fine muslim fashion. Except he also left a huge void. The protestors have not united, and the country is a mess. Under Gaddafi it was a country filled with miserable people. After Gaddafi, Libya is still filled with miserable protestors.  Another dictator whose days are numbered is Bashar al-Assad in Syria. SO far it is taking, ISIS, jihadi rebels, Syrian rebels, The USA and Russia, but the job is still not done. When it finally does happen, will these various groups come to a sensible way to lead the country? Not a chance, the war will go one until the last man standing is a Muslim.

So why don’t we take a chance with a dictator and see if we can save America.

Dead Serious, Not A Scam



  •   I, in no way, agree with slavery or the fact that over a 150 years ago, it was what most people today think the Civil War was fought over. So, I have come up with a solution to help the offended out. While you are tearing down and/or removing the statues that offend you because someone else told you they do, do this for me… Check your money
    $1 bill has Washington – slave owner
  • 160_Sm_dollar1Front.jpg
    $2 bill has Jefferson – slave o
  • 162_Sm_dollar2Front.jpg
    $5 bill has Lincoln – did not necessarily agree with slavery, but didn’t agree that blacks were equal
  • 158_Sm_dollar5Front.jpg
    $10 bill has Hamilton – slave owner
  • 146_Sm_dollar10Front.jpg
    $20 bill has Jackson – slave owner
  • 146_Sm_dollar20Front.jpg
    $50 bill has Grant – who was too poor to own a slave
  • 146_Sm_dollar50Front.jpg
  • $100 bill has Franklin – affiliation with slave trade.
  • 146_New100front.jpg
    I’m here to help, I really am. What I need you to do is send me all your currency so I can dispose of it for you. No need to carry these evil people in your pocket that cause your life so much trauma and tears. Don’t be a hypocrite, send me the money. It’s evil! Contact me for details on how to get it to me….
  • Stupid Is As Stupid Does

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