Seniors | Grumpa Joe's Place

Wanted: Artificial Intelligence Sherriff

Posted on 20/03/2026 by Grumpa Joe

Last night I watched a 1975 movie called “Rooster Cogburn” starring John Wayne and Katharine Hepburn. The plot reminded me of the many westerns I watched in black and white as a kid that involved a stagecoach robbery. Today, while reviewing my American Express charges, I found one for $309. The only large charges I have like that are from the local supermarkets. This charge was listed as

EZ TEXTING 690550110Santa Monica CA	$309.00

There was a time when I used a texting service to communicate with my fellow Lions members, but I never spent more than $25 for a mass text. At the usual rate of a nickel per, this meant I must have sent 6180 texts. We have only 75 members, and that pencils out to 82 messages per member. There is no way I ever sent that many text messages to anyone in my life. The Republicans running our country, however, easily send me that many texts daily. They never ask for money, but there’s no way to leave a message without checking a box linked to a donation. Clever these people are. If only they were that clever at outwitting the Democrats.

Anyway, this line item presented a challenge. It took me about twenty minutes to outwit the Artificial Intelligence (AI) bot before I was able to release some of the steam building in my aged cranium. Here is a transcript from this conversation I had with Alliyah, the chat agent holding a gun at my head.

Today • 1:19 PM

Hello, thanks for reaching out. We will be with you shortly.

EZ-Bot Enhanced joined • 1:20 PM

Hi, thanks for chatting in today!
EE

What do you need help with? Please choose one of the following:

EZ-Bot Enhanced • 1:20 PM

Find help with Knowledge Base
- My account or message is under review
- Transfer to Live Chat
Transfer to Live Chat

Sent • 1:20 PM

Please enter a detailed description of your inquiry, and I will contact an online Agent.

EZ-Bot Enhanced • 1:20 PM

I received a charge of $309.00 made on 2/27/26. Please tell me what this was for?

Sent • 1:22 PM

Transfer requested at 1:22 PM
EE

EZ-Bot Enhanced left • 1:22 PM

Alliyah F joined • 1:24 PM

You are now connected to an agent, thank you for waiting.
AF

Hi, my name is Alliyah and I’m with the EZ Texting support team. I’m sorry to hear that you got charged on your account. No worries, I’m here to help! Can you please provide your email address or account ID?

Alliyah F • 1:25 PM

What is the charge for $309. on my american express card on Feb 27 2026 made for?

Read • 1:25 PM

Can you please provide your email address or account ID?

Alliyah F • 1:26 PM

jsr@mortyangel.com

Read • 1:26 PM

Thank you for providing that information! Upon checking your account, the charge was from your annual plan which is the Launch Plan.
AF

And your annual plan got renewed on February 25, 2026.

Alliyah F • 1:27 PM

Please cancel that renewal?

Read • 1:28 PM

I can go ahead and cancel it, are you not going to use the service anymore?

Alliyah F • 1:29 PM

No, I am no longer in a position that requires me. to mass text.

Read • 1:29 PM

I understand, I have now canceled your account and moving forward, you will not be charge again, and please be informed that as part of our sign-up process, all users agree to our Terms of Service, which include our no-refund policy. This policy states that once a subscription is processed, we’re unfortunately unable to issue a refund—even if the service is not used afterward. Please refer to this link (https://www.eztexting.com/terms).
AF

For this one, aside from canceling your account, is there anything else I can assist you?

Alliyah F • 1:33 PM

I have read the terms you pointed me to. I do not recall signing up for automatic renewal, and I would not have used the service knowing that an AI bandit would hold me up for such a huge amount of money.

Read • 1:36 PM

I understand, please be informed that EZ Texting’s only payment method is auto-renewal and it has been since the day you sign-up for our service. I understand how important this is to you but again, I apologize, we don’t have a way to refund it anymore.

Alliyah F • 1:38 PM

If there was such a thing as an AI Sheriff, I would have you arrested and jailed for theft.

Read • 1:42 PM

I’m sorry, the only way for you to not be charge before was to canceled the account before the renewal date but on this one, since there were no cancelation, it is automatic for the plan to auto-renew. I’m sorry but this is from our policy.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ While searching the net to find this useless link, I saw several that contained the word ‘Apple’ in them. With Apple’s backing, they are sure to be a winner. I now understand why.

In my last note to this foreign agent, I invented the Artificial Intelligence Sheriff (AIS). There is no doubt that the AIS will become a reality as more and more helpless senior internet users have their pockets picked.

Beware, my fellow senior citizens, and be certain to read the fine print in those endless pages of rules we blindly agree to when downloading an application that will make our lives easier.

To Apple: Please include a feature(button) on your computers that, when pressed, would automatically blow up any website I deem to be an Internet Bandit. It would please me immensely, even if all it did was light up my screen with a loud “BANG!”

Sincerely:

Artificial Intelligence Sheriff, AKA, Grumpa Joe

Filed under: Aging, Democrats, family, Republicans, Seniors | Tagged: Artificial Intelligence Bandit, Artificial Intelligence Sherriff, Democrat, Republican | 3 Comments »

Pain Killers Work

Posted on 30/11/2025 by Grumpa Joe

After suffering for three months with a torn muscle in my hip, I have finally resorted to using a painkiller and an anti-inflammatory. Even in minimal doses, my body responds positively. A couple of hours after taking a pill, I can walk without a limp and pain. It gets so good that I begin to believe that I might be curing the problem. Then the effect of the pill begins to wear off, and I am reminded about an upcoming appointment with the orthopedic surgeon.

The MRI I took last week showed a tear in one of the components surrounding the hip joint. I have to believe it will take some surgery to correct the problem. I have strained my memory to recall what caused this injury, and am beginning to conclude it happened during a specific exercise while doing physical therapy to build up my leg strength. Now, I conclude that all the benefit of eight weeks of PT has been erased by my desire to do things like tie my shoes, pick things up from the floor, and to walk distances again.

Looking back seventy-two years points me to the polio that I had as a teenager. The muscle that is currently giving me problems happens to be one that was affected by the polio virus. My right hip was severely paralyzed and required primary therapy and exercise to build up. I used crutches for a year before my leg was strong enough to let me walk without a gimp. Well, the gimp is back and the pain at times will shoot up though my hip into my shoulder and down to my knee. I have self diagnosed myself with Post Polio Syndrome. It happens to people who had polio as a teen and after forty years of using affected nerves and muscles. I look upon this as a positive thing because I didn’t recognize the problem until this year which is thirty-two years after many polio-people first experience the phenomenon.

I see this as a problem I successfully dealt with once before, and I can do it again, but it will take much more effort.

Filed under: Biography, Memories, Seniors | Tagged: Post Polio Syndrome | 2 Comments »

I Hate Medicine

Posted on 13/09/2025 by Grumpa Joe

At the tender age of fifteen, I learned about hospitals. I have written about my first hospital experience in a post titled “Life Can Change In A Moment”. Since then, I have been hospitalized several times for bouts with kidney stones. Most recently, my medical issues are age-related, like arthritis and sciatic-nerve flare-ups, neither of which has hospitalized me yet. Although I have avoided hospitalizations, I have not avoided doctors. I have to give them credit for having invented a fool proof scheme to extract money from the aged. It is not unusual to visit a doctor for an “annual” check up and wind up being tested to determine if my voiced complaints are caused by some known medical issue. For instance, at my latest check-up the doctor noted that my ankles were swollen. I had not placed any importance on such a phenomenon. Here is what happened: 1. I had to take an immediate ultrasound of my lower extremities to determine if the swelling was caused by a blood clot, 2. No blood clot was found, so I had to take another test to determine how vascular fluid was traversing through my legs. This test discovered a faulty valve in the system transporting vascular fluids. There is no synthetic valve invented to take care of this problem, so I am now on a diuretic medicine to remove excess fluid, and I have been told not to sit or stand for long periods. I guess, I’ll have to invent a horizontal barbecue like affair to spend my days suspended horizontally and rotating slowly like a pig on a spit in front of my computer watching Youtube videos or writing stupid stuff like this post.

Old age is not for the weak, and I continue to live by the creed of movie star Clint Eastwood, who recommends, “Don’t let the old man in.”

Filed under: Aging, Biography, Seniors | Tagged: Medicine | 5 Comments »

One Click Away From Being Robbed

Posted on 25/02/2025 by Grumpa Joe

This morning, as I scrolled through my emails looking for real mail, I came across a message from Geek Squad. The subject line was “Your subscription has been renewed for two years.” I didn’t recall having a subscription, and I was leery. Two years ago, my old computer was on its deathbed, and I was frustrated, and it is possible that I did seek some help. The cost exceeded five hundred dollars, so I decided I had better follow up.I dialed the number on the bill. I got through almost immediately and had a very clear line. Immediately, I was suspicious because the man who answered had a heavy accent. I continued the call and he led me through a number of button pushes that led to a screen titled Screen Connect Client, with two buttons : Accept, or Deny. The alarms went off in stereo. He insisted I open this screen and I asked him why he needed to get into my computer to cancel the subscription.” “I am not getting into your computer.”

“Why does it say “Screen Connect Client?”

He answered my question with a question. “Don’t you want me to help you cancel this order?”

I responded, “How can your company take orders from your end, but you must cancel them from mine?” At this point, I noticed some agitation in his voice. He continued arguing that he wanted to help me and that I should cooperate by clicking the button. I accused him of being a scammer. Now, his voice turned to anger. A legitimate customer service rep would not get angry by my questions and accusations.

“This phone call is over.” I clicked the button to end the call. I’ll deal with my credit card company, that is, if there is a charge.

Not ten minutes later, I answered a call that was identified as a scam. The caller was a male from another country. He read me a long dissertation about how I was selected to win 25 million dollars and a new Mercedes Benz. All I had to do was to follow him through his company’s procedure. I was congenial and replied that he would have to follow mine before I complied with his company’s protocol. It is simple, I said, “Go to your bank and have a certified check made for twenty-five million dollars, and deliver it to my front door in the new Mercedes.” He ignored my protocol and continued with questions. “All we need is your driver’s license.”

“I don’t have a license or own a car, so I am excited that you will give me a new Mercedes.”

“How about your Social Security Number?”

“I never applied for Social Security and don’t have a number.”

“How about a State ID number?”

“Nope, I don’t have that either. You don’t need any of that stuff. You found me at my desk over the phone, and that is all the ID you need to know it is me.”

“We have to be very careful because twenty-five million dollars is a lot of money.”

“Twenty-five million is a drop in the bucket. I am independently wealthy, and my wealth far exceeds twenty-five million.” He didn’t give up and changed his line of attack. “We can direct the money to a charity of your choice. All we need is to be sure you are who you say you are.”

“You know who I am. You were able to find me at my desk in my house.” I was getting bored with his attempts to get me to send him more info, so I ended the call.

Two minutes later he called again. “You are having fun with me right?”

“No, I am not,” and I hung up.

Filed under: Aging, Seniors | Tagged: Geek Squad Scam, Scams | 2 Comments »