I Can’t Believe It

I gave up using Windows computers because the updates drove me nuts. Not only that, the computer lost performance after each update. I happily switched to Apple’s OS system, and I’ve been using their products for six years now without any problems, that is, until now. I agreed to an Apple upgrade and since then I have lost my email. My mail is on a separate server from Google, Yahoo, or those public email servers. When the upgrade occurred the link between my service and the Apple mail system was broken. Not a problem I thought, I’ll just relink everything and be ready to go. Wrong! It is August 22 which means I have been without email for three weeks now. After too many hours trouble shooting, and reading help screens I still can’t figure out what is wrong. I am seeking professional help. Then it occurred to me that I’ve been out of communication by email for three weeks, and I am still alive! I might just forget about seeking help and forget email altogether. If someone wants to talk to me they can dial me up, or write me a snail-mail letter.

190710-Memes

I love all of them, but the last is my favorite.

I Am Proud To Be An Old Fart

I never really liked the terminology “Old Farts” but this makes me feel better about it.
And if you ain’t one, I bet ya you know one!
I got this from an “Old Fart” friend of mine!
OLD FART PRIDE
I’m passing this on as I did not want to be the only old fart receiving it. Actually, it’s not a bad thing to be called, as you will see. Old Farts are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the National Anthem. Old Farts remove their caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment.  They know the words and believe in them.

Old Farts remember World War II, Pearl Harbour ,  Guadalcanal , Normandy  and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War, the Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus Peacekeeping Missions from 1945 to 2005, not to mention  Vietnam .

If you bump into an Old Fart on the sidewalk he will apologize. If you pass an Old Fart on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady. Old Farts trust strangers and are courtly to women.

Old Farts hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.

Old Farts get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and they don’t like any filth or dirty language on TV or in movies.

Old Farts have moral courage and personal integrity. They seldom brag unless it’s about their children or grandchildren.

It’s the Old Farts who know our great country is protected, not by politicians, but by the young men and women in the military serving their country.

This country needs Old Farts with their work ethic, sense of responsibility, pride in their country and decent values.

We need them now more than ever.

Thank God for Old Farts!

Pass this on to all the “Old Farts” you know.

I was taught to respect my elders.
It’s just getting harder to find them.

I Resent That

 

Yesterday, John Dean, a lawyer from the Watergate-Nixon era testified before Congress. His mission was to bash Trump and to point us toward impeachment. What really pissed me off was not that Dean was a credible witness which he is not, but that the news people kept telling me that he is eighty years old. So what? The implication was that being eighty makes one unknowledgeable and not credible. I’m over eighty and I believe I can keep up with the best of the younger generation. Not only that, I hang with a group of men in which I am the baby. Any of us would be capable of debating any newscaster in the country. We keep abreast of the news, and we regularly debate current issues all while remaining friends.

Aging definitely comes with problems, many of them are memory related. Those of us who are lucky enough to retain our minds live active cognitive lives. One thing for sure, we aged have to put up with too many memory loss jokes, although I find most of them hilarious. When one experiences age related memory problems as I have, the age jokes don’t seem very funny no matter how true they may be.

I happen to live with a wife who is one of the unfortunate aged who has lost her ability to remember anything. The sadness of her disease is that she is at a point where she has given up chewing and is now forgetting how to swallow. Think about that one. Try eating (baby food) without being able to chew or swallow. Her best meal these days is breakfast. She seems to be most functional after twelve to fifteen hours of sleep. She eats a decent breakfast but then goes downhill from there refusing to eat either lunch or supper. Some men consider me lucky since she has been unable to speak for over three years.  Speech is a valuable function we take for granted. For instance, she cannot tell me how she feels, or what hurts. The only sound she can make is a siren like whine when we (me and her caretaker) move her to change her. I have to read her body language to get an idea of her situation.

My advice to people these days is to pray for a quick death. People who drop dead instantly receive a gift from God. In my wife’s case she is the opposite. Looking back at our history together her first symptoms began to appear seven years ago. She is at a point where the skin on her lower extremities has very poor blood circulation and the result is she gets pressure sores that cannot heal. One doctor told me that her disease is terrible because the brain dies before the rest of the body. I agree with that assessment, but will add to it. When the body does begin to fail it does so in a slow creeping manner. The life force of blood is needed to support major organs so body parts like toes, feet, legs etc. lose.

My philosophy is to give her the best drug-free quality of life possible. At this point the quality is in how comfortably she sleeps. When my beloved sleeps twenty-two hours a day, and is frowning the whole time she is in some kind of discomfort. Right now I am wrestling with a decision to use morphine to ease her discomfort. I get an argument from her caretaker that morphine will make her to sleep more and accelerate her death. The hospice nurses argue that morphine merely relaxes a person so they don’t fight so hard to live with pain. The relaxation allows them to pass comfortably and peacefully. One argument I make with myself is that if she is no longer eating or drinking, and sleeping twenty-two hours a day what difference will it be if I administer morphine and she sleeps twenty-four hours in peace.

Asparagus and Uranium


The sign of a great writer is the ability to create interesting and real characters, and to place them into interesting situations. I just completed reading a book titled The Accidental Further Adventures of the 100 Year Old Man. Writer Jonas Jonasson lives in Sweden and crafted a superb story around two elements; asparagus and uranium. He included world leaders like Trump, Merkel, Putin, Rocket-man Kim Jong un, and others to embellish the story. In my opinion he lost points by making Trump a doofus. Other than that bit of bias I enjoyed the story because it was intriguing and funny. The idea of a one hundred year old man going on adventures drew me in.

So how were asparagus and uranium involved? A side kick of the hundred year old man grew and sold asparagus and the two of them happened upon a suitcase filled with nine pounds of enriched uranium headed for North Korea. Jonasson wove a complicated tale and made it all come together in the end.

Shaking My Bucket

My stories don’t generally cover my personal activities, but do include brief examples of life lessons. Today I awoke at six, a full half hour before the opportunity alarm sounded. The temperature in the house was down to sixty-eight degrees, the lowest since last winter. Outside, the first frost of autumn displayed a soft white glaze over the lawn.

I shuffled down to my personal bath in the basement and shaved a four day beard. My appearance today had to be sharp and clean. It was show time for my Lions Club. Candy Day 2018 is a very important fundraiser for Lions Illinois Foundation. Basically, we (Lions) stand at intersections and at storefronts shaking our buckets. Our buckets are empty one gallon plastic milk jugs with a hole cut into the side. We paste a Lions Candy Day label on the side to cover the dairy label. As we say we shake our cans looking as pathetic as we can asking the public for money. 

My station this morning was at the local Dunkin-Donuts shop. I asked our event leader where I should stand. He said, “Oh just hang around the front door.” This was my first experience standing in front of a store shaking my can. In previous years I stood in an intersection at the Burger King. That was an adrenaline producing work out because with traffic coming at me from three directions it kept me moving out of the way. The worst was dodging a semi-truck delivering to one of the stores in the plaza. They need a lot of room to make a turn and the trailer typically cuts across the spot where I usually stood. 

Within two minutes of covering the front door I saw where I should be standing. The drive by takeout window had a line of cars six long. I went there and stood in one place. A very dour group of drivers lowered their windows to reach out with a dollar or with a handful of change scrounged from the console. In return I handed each of them a roll of mints, hence the name Candy Day.

The Lions Illinois Foundation is a non-profit charitable organization and a means used by Illinois Lions Clubs to provide statewide services for the visually and hearing impaired.

It was founded July 1, 1974, is registered with the Office of Illinois Attorney General, and qualifies 501c# tax-exempt organization.

All programs are approved by Lions at the annual membership meeting in May. The Foundation is governed by Elected trustees from each district.

The Lions Of Illinois Foundation is devoted to the highest Lions ideals of service to those with vision or hearing impairments.

Through the Foundation, communities and clubs benefit from these services:

  • Camp Lions for Children and Adults
  • Adult Low Vision
  • Lions of Illinois Statewide Student Low Vision Valuation Clinics
  • Mobile Retinal Screening Unit
  • Mobile Hearing Screening Unit
  • Used Hearing Aid Bank
  • Recycling: Used Eyeglasses, Hearing Aids, Keys, Cell Phones, wire and Aluminum tabs
  • Social Services and Referral
  • Lions of Illinois Funds for Emergencies (L.I.F.E.)

It is funded mainly by club contributions from Candy Day, Sight and Sound Sweepstakes, Tootsie Pop Day, Gift Card Campaign, Annual Gala, Car Show and BBQ.

The Foundation led a campaign to raise $5 million to finance construction of the Lions of Illinois Eye Research Institute (L.I.E.R.I.) in Chicago, as well as the campaign to raise $1.1 million to finance the Charles I. Young Professional Chair.

The above explains why I stood in drive-through window at Dunkin-Donuts on the morn of the first freeze to shake my can in an attempt to help my club support L.I.F.

Several kinds of people came across my path:

1. Non-smiling, sleepy looking, caffeine deprived early morning risers who slowly groped about the car seeking change, but eventually opened a wallet to pull a dollar bill or two. Even though they didn’t look at me smilingly they cheered up when I told them to have a “great day.”

2. Smiling, cheerful, eagerly rolling down the window to load my can with paper money or a handful of change. They thanked me and accepted the mints with a broad smile.

3. The drive-by, usually with black windows who couldn’t be identified, and impossible to make eye contact with. I waved and wished them a good morning anyway.

Dark Windows is any one in there?

4. Smiling, cheerful, eagerly rolling down the window to tell me that he doesn’t carry cash.  I tell him next time I will have a credit card machine. He laughs as I tell him to have a wonderful day/

After an hour and forty-five minutes my bones were chilled and aching. My shaken bucket was full so I gave it up for the day.

Just When Do We Get Old?

Lately, I have felt like I’m out of gas. I’m slowing down, but then I saw these folks, and realize I am just getting lazy.

https://i1.wp.com/www.calebwilde.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/214.jpg

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