210711-Believe it or Not!

“Florida Woman Stops 12 foot Alligator Attack Using a small .22 caliber Ruger Pistol.” 

Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit.  This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.

Here’s her story in her own words:  “While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in  T he Villages, Florida, discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water.    It began charging us with its large jaws wide open.   She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.  

“If I had not had my little Ruger 22 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today.  Just one shot to my estranged husband’s knee cap was all it took.  The alligator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.  The amount I saved in lawyer’s fees was truly incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus.”

210502-Never Mind!

Today I experienced an example of how when I rely on the Internet for information it can lead me into a dead end. A few weeks ago, I married for the third time. The lady I chose for Mrs. Grumpajoe the third(GJ-3)is six years younger than Grumpajoe himself. The first Mrs. Grumpajoe-1 and I were the same age while Mrs. Grumpajoe-2 was five years older than he so the experiment here is to see if the younger Mrs. GJ-3 can out live him. Surely, I don’t want to see her fail and die a miserable death as 1 and 2 did, but I digress. 

Mrs. GJ-3 loves old stuff. With the great COVID close down of 2020 lasting into 2021 she has been shut out of one of her favorite past-times i.e. flea-marketing. Last Thursday she sprung a surprise on me by announcing that we were going to visit her grandson who lives in a town seventy miles from here. She had the days mapped out and this morning we were to go flea marketing. Generally, there are some very large markets that are open on the first weekend of the month. Today was the first weekend. Guess where we were going?

I had to search the internet to locate Gurney, IL which I remember having a huge market. They are also known for their large Outlet market place. My search didn’t find the Gurnee flea-market. Evidently, it was a victim of COVID. The nearest market was shown to be in the town of Grayslake. There was something odd about the way they listed the hours, and dates. Today’s activities were shown in a light blue text, while at the bottom of the listing were two more dates shown in bold-black in November, and December. Hymmm.

Mrs. GJ-3 and I got up early and hurriedly drove to the Lake County Fairgrounds home of said flea market. The parking lot was crowded and people were streaming forward in controlled lines, one-way in and others coming out in another lane. What was really strange was when we entered the building a nice young masked lady asked if we had an appointment. “Appointment for a flea market?” She laughed and said we should proceed and to tell them that we were walk-ins. We passed through the next door into this huge open space, and all I saw were people in orderly lines heading toward tables where other people were asking them to roll up their sleeves.  There were lines of unoccupied wheelchairs parked all around the lines. Then it dawned on me, we were in a COVID Vaccination site.    

We quietly backed out, but not before being given a hard sell to get a free vaccination while we were there. My argument was the CDC doesn’t recommend getting a third shot so soon after the first two. 

The ride home was much longer than the ride out. Our disappointment was showing on our faces and attitudes. Mrs. GJ-3 continued to search the net for information about Gurney only to learn first-hand that there was nothing, she found the same for Grayslake. That seemed to calm her down a little.

Burning gas is one of my least favorite things to do unless it is for a purpose. On the return, we passed through Mundelein and I turned into Grand Dominion a Del Webb development which has haunted me for twenty years. When I wintered in Arizona I stayed in Del Webb communities. Sun City, Sun City West, and Sun City Grand are all magnificently planned to support active life styles for old geezers like me. When I heard they have a community in Illinois north of Chicago I’ve always wanted to see what it was like. This morning I got to realize that idea. I can’t call it a dream, because it is nowhere close to a dream. The impression I got was it reminded me of Gateway an over fifty-five manufactured home community in Frankfort. Except the homes don’t arrive on wheels. They are nice size homes with what looks like PVC siding, and are spaced close to each other. The back yard is a postage stamp. The side facing the street is mostly a concrete drive way. In Arizona the homes are a few feet further apart, but the back yards are much larger to space people away from each other. At this location, the premium lots are on a small lake affording a lake view. In Sun City, the nice lots face an emerald green golf course. 

There is a large clubhouse near the entrance which I didn’t visit. It most likely houses the sales staff, swimming pool, some club rooms and a restaurant. The Old Dominion website lists all the amenities they provide. In the Arizona locations they have several community centers located throughout. These sites have sport and craft-activity rooms to house the more than three hundred hobby clubs that residents can amuse themselves in.  Overall, I was not impressed with the Illinois community. The homes didn’t impress me nor did the community layout. At least I saved a dead-end adventure and satisfied a long-time desire. Mrs. GJ-3 was not impressed at all, and dozed during my tour. Her dream is to live on a five acre lot with a large garden and a small forest separating neighbors.  

 

PSA-210427-More Useless Info

******************************
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood Plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.Oh, go ahead …I’ll wait.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks.(So, watch your ass!)

You burn more calories sleepingthan you do watching television.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.

The King of Hearts  is the only King WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.(Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you?) It tells you that women are going in the ‘right’ direction!

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first ‘Marlboro Man’.

Walt Disney was afraid of MICE!
 
PEARLS DISSOLVE IN VINEGAR!

The ten most valuable brand names on earth: Apple, Coca Cola, Google, IBM, Microsoft, GE, McDonalds,
Samsung, Intel, and Toyota, in that order.


It IS possible to lead a cow upstairs…but, NOT downstairs.

A duck’s quack doesn’t echo,and no one knows why.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. 

(I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)

My Favorite TV Personality

In all the years I watched the TV program 60 Minutes I enjoyed the final five minutes the most. It was during those minutes that Andy Rooney did his part. In my opinion 60 Minutes can be trashed except for Andy Rooney’s segment.

Take two minutes to read these sayings and be sure to read all the way to
the bottom:

########################################################

*Written by Andy Rooney, a man who had the gift of saying so much with so
few words.*
*Rooney has passed away but used to be on CBS’s 60 Minutes TV show.*

I’ve learned …
That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve learned …
That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I’ve learned …
That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful
feelings in the world.

I’ve learned …
That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I’ve learned …
That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve learned …
That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve learned ….
That just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.

  I’ve learned….
That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I’ve learned …
      That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to
help him in any other way.

      I’ve learned….
That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a
friend to act goofy with.

      I’ve learned …
That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to
understand.

      I’ve learned …
That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I
was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I’ve learned …
That life is like a roll of toilet paper.   The closer it gets to the end,
the faster it goes.

I’ve learned …
That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I’ve learned …
That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and
loved.

I’ve learned …
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

      I’ve learned …
      That when you plan to get even with someone,   you are only letting
that person continue to hurt you.

I’ve learned …
That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve learned …
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with
people smarter than I am.

I’ve learned …
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

      I’ve learned …
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I’ve learned …
That life is tough, but I’m tougher.

      I’ve learned …
      That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you
miss.

I’ve learned …
That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before
she passed away.

      I’ve learned …
That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he
may have to eat them.

I’ve learned….
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

      I’ve learned …
That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little
fist, you’re hooked for life.

I’ve learned …
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness
and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

I’ve learned …
That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

To all of you …
Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.

It’s National Friendship Week … Show your friends how much you care.
Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even
if it means sending it back to the person who sent it to you.  If it comes
back to you, then you’ll know you have a circle of friends.

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP WEEK TO YOU!
YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED!

White Picket Fence

Ever since I was a kid I have dreamed of living on a street in a small town in a white clapboard house surrounded by a white picket fence. It was probably an image I got from watching a wholesome movie like Its A Great Life, or some Mickey Rooney film. The idyllic setting appealed to me and still does. The house I grew up in was not in a small town, but in a small neighborhood in a very big city. We did not have a large enough yard for a picket fence to wrap around the front yard. We did have a picket fence separating us from the neighbors on either side. What ever it was that image has returned regularly throughout my lifetime.

Over the years I have lived in many places. Going away to college counts for many of them. After college and marriage I settled into a small village near the big city, but again the yard was not large enough to sport a white picket fence. House number two was in a tiny town out in the country and away from the big city, but that yard was too large for a picket fence and besides the homeowners association had rules stipulating no fences at all. It didn’t fit my ideal but I loved living there nonetheless. My final house is again in a neighborhood, but it is now part of the little town that house number two was in except the town is no longer small and idyllic.

One summer, I took my kids to see Colonial Williamsburg in Virginia. I love that place. I could see myself living there in Colonial times. It conveys an image of a life during peacetime when people had only to concentrate on feeding and clothing their families. Most who lived in Williamsburg raised their own food, or bartered their talents for food. Each resident had a small cottage with a yard large enough to sustain themselves and to keep animals too. Some of those families were rich enough to afford a horse to pull a small wagon. They had everything, but none of it came from China, and most of it was homemade by them or their neighbors. The fences they had were necessary to separate the animals from the vegetables. Animals love fresh vegetables and keeping them side by side is risky for the city farmer.

Why is all this coming to haunt me? As I age, I long for a simple life in a very small community where everyone knows everyone, and the homes have white picket fences. Reading the book Tom Sawyer might have cemented that picture in my mind. Reading about how Tom duped his buddies into painting the white picket fence for him was one of my favorite chapters. Last week I searched the internet for towns in Illinois with small populations. There are many, but most are long distances away from my family. I seem to like towns with about two thousand people. They seem to fit my dream. The houses are mostly small, and old. The yards are large, meaning a lot of maintenance is required. None of them have picket fences probably because of the added cost and because picket fences require regular maintenance. Will I ever realize my dream? Probably not, but it is fun thinking about living in a situation where it would be a lot of fun if I were forty years old and not eighty. Why, I could raise chickens and keep a large organic vegetable garden. Think of all the energy I would expend pulling weeds and killing vegetable eating bugs and butterflies.

A few years ago, I wrote my autobiography and one of the chapters was titled “City Farm.” I described the way my Mom kept a garden that covered every square inch of the available yard. She had chickens, raised vegetables, fruit, and also a myriad of flowers at the same time. The lady never sat still. While she was doing all that garden stuff I was able to get lost on the block and play with my buddies. Ahh for the good old days.

Now it is wine time!

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