And Then There Was . . .

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God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired, "Where have you been?"
 God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.”


 Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, “What is it?”

 “It’s a planet,” replied God, and I’ve put life on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a place to test balance.”

 “Balance?” inquired Michael, “I’m still confused.”

 God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. “For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I’ve placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things.”

 God continued pointing to different countries. “This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.”

 The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a land area and said, “What’s that one?”

 “That will be the Commonwealth of Virginia, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from the Commonwealth of Virginia are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things.”

 Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, “But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance…”
 God smiled, "Right next to Virginia will be Washington DC. Wait till you see the idiots I put there.

Artificial Intelligence vs Common Sense

 

It has been several years since my last cartoon. I took a rest from drawing political opinion cartoons. I actually had a cartoonist block. The pictures didn’t come to me, but this morning I got a message and had to go to work.

The debate which is no longer a debate about building a wall has broken my block. I can’t stand it any longer Nancy has to be taken out via cartoons. Her Senate husband Chuckie Schumer is her sidekick. They are as easy a target as Obama and Hillary were.  The sad part of this plan is that Nancy and Chuck are too dense to understand how stupid they are. Stupid is as Communists Do. Their vision for America is to make it like Socialist.

There is an interesting rumor floating on the internet that past Mexican President Pena Nieto took a $100 million dollar bribe from a drug cartel. This part of the rumor is pretty solid, but attached to it is secondary rumor that Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer also took bribes from the cartels and this is the reason for their obstinacy to deny money to build a wall. It makes some sense to me, but I am a sucker for a good conspiracy theory.

What ever Nancy and Chuck’s motives are they are dug in will not do what is right for the country. They are so self-centered that only their own personal lives are important to them. This attitude should be grounds for impeaching them.

The democrats are solidly pushing the use of technology to keep border jumping to a minimum. Since Nancy lives in the San Francisco area which is close to Silicone Valley it occurs to me that collusion may be in play. Democrats will call it lobbying. The only technology that I can think of that they would want get government funding for is Artificial Intelligence. Why spend stock holder money to test your latest toy when Uncle is salivating for a new hole into which he can pour money? Any combination of technology is easily beatable by people with an average brain and some common sense. Americans love technology as a way to solve every problem. We have the 911 system to save us from all kinds of harm. Having a heart attack?  Call 911, someone is breaking down you door and he has a gun, dial 911. When my wife had her heart attack, and I finally dialed 911 it took them five minutes to arrive at my door, and I lived four miles from the firehouse. When ICE gets a 911 call from a drone or a sensor in the desert, how long will the response time be? When you have a heart attack the responders can expect to find you at the address you give them. Will it be the same in the desert when the call comes in? Will the illegals stay put to wait for ICE to show up? Oh, but with artificial intelligence the system will find and track the culprits as they continue to their next rendezvous. This smacks of an “all-seeing, all-knowing” entity which Sister Flora  taught me is God. This fits right into the Democrat scheme to spend an infinite amount of money on a system that is infinite in scope. Maybe it is my naïvety but common sense tells me the wall is a better deal.

 

Random Thinking While Drinking

 I was thinking;

If only 11 million people have Obama-Care, how will 24 million people die if it is repealed?  Will an additional 13 million people be randomly shot, poisoned, or spayed?

I was thinking;

If Donald Trump deleted all his emails, wiped his server with Bleachbit (like Hillary) and destroyed all of his phones with a hammer, would the Mainstream Media suddenly lose all interest in the story and declare him innocent (like Hillary).

I was thinking;

If women do the same job for less money, why do companies hire men to do the same job for more money?

I was thinking;

If you rob a bank in a Sanctuary City, is it illegal or is it just an Undocumented Withdrawal?

I was thinking;

Each ISIS attack now is a reaction to Trump policies, but all ISIS attacks during Obama’s term were due to Climate Change and a plea for jobs.

I was thinking;

We should stop calling them all ‘Entitlements’. Welfare, Food Stamps, WIC, ad nausea are not entitlements, they are taxpayer-funded handouts, and shouldn’t be called entitlements at all.  Social Security and Veterans Benefits are Entitlements because the people receiving them are entitled to them. They were earned and paid for by the recipients.

I was thinking;

If Muslims want to run away from a Muslim country, does that mean they’re Islamophobic?

I was thinking;

If Liberals don’t believe in biological gender and promote transgenders, then why did they march for women’s rights?

I was thinking;

How did the Russians get Debbie Wasserman Schultz and the DNC to steal the Primary from Bernie Sanders?  How did Russia get Donna Brazile to leak debate questions to Hillary Clinton in advance of the debates?

I was thinking;

Why is it that Democrats think Super delegates are fine, but they have a problem with the Electoral College?

I was thinking;

If you don’t want the FBI involved in elections, don’t nominate someone who’s being investigated by the FBI.

I was thinking;

If Hillary’s speeches/screeches cost $250,000 an hour, how come no one shows up to her free ones?

I was thinking;

The DNC is mad at Russia because they ‘think’ they are trying to manipulate our election by exposing that the DNC is manipulating our election.

I was thinking;

If Democrats don’t want foreigners involved in our elections,  why do they think it’s all right for illegal’s to vote?

Remember, Drink, don’t Think!

 

PSA-180818-For the Fun Of It

PSA-180815-REALLY?

PSA-180626-God’s Plan

God’s Plan for Aging

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose co-ordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors   would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the   bathroom, thus providing more exercise.  God looked down and saw that   it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older

#9  Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8  Life is sexually transmitted.

 

#7  Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6   Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5  Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

#4  Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3  All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2  In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1  Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.

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