PSA-170501-Road Info

Burma Shave

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A man, a miss,
A car, a curve.
He kissed the miss,
And missed the curve.

 

Burma Shave

I’m sure that Burma Shave actually saved some lives.  People laughed and then were more careful!  It was a REAL “service” to America, even though it was an advertisement and it was one of the RARE “really useful” ones! 

 To My Old-As-Dirt Friends and Relatives who qualify as “old as dirt.”

For those who never saw any of the Burma Shave signs, here is a quick lesson in our history of the 1930’s and ’40’s.

Before there were interstates, when everyone drove the old 2 lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside in farmers’ fields.  They were small red signs with white letters. Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing 1 line of a 4 line couplet… and the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular shaving cream.

*********************************************************

DON’T STICK YOUR ELBOW
OUT SO FAR
IT MAY GO HOME
IN ANOTHER CAR. Burma Shave


TRAINS DON’T WANDER
ALL OVER THE MAP
‘CAUSE NOBODY SITS
IN THE ENGINEER’S LAP. Burma Shave


SHE KISSED THE HAIRBRUSH
BY MISTAKE
SHE THOUGHT IT WAS
HER HUSBAND JAKE. Burma Shave


DON’T LOSE YOUR HEAD
TO GAIN A MINUTE
YOU NEED YOUR HEAD
YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT. Burma Shave


DROVE TOO LONG
DRIVER SNOOZING
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
IS NOT AMUSING. Burma Shave


BROTHER SPEEDER
LET’S REHEARSE
ALL TOGETHER
GOOD MORNING, NURSE. Burma Shave


CAUTIOUS RIDER
TO HER RECKLESS DEAR
LET’S HAVE LESS BULL
AND A LITTLE MORE STEER. Burma Shave


SPEED WAS HIGH
WEATHER WAS NOT
TIRES WERE THIN
X MARKS THE SPOT. Burma Shave


THE MIDNIGHT RIDE
OF PAUL FOR BEER
LED TO A WARMER
HEMISPHERE. Burma Shave


AROUND THE CURVE
LICKETY-SPLIT
BEAUTIFUL CAR
WASN’T IT? Burma Shave


NO MATTER THE PRICE
NO MATTER HOW NEW
THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE
IN THE CAR IS YOU. Burma Shave


A GUY WHO DRIVES
A CAR WIDE OPEN
IS NOT THINKIN’
HE’S JUST HOPIN’. Burma Shave


AT INTERSECTIONS
LOOK EACH WAY
A HARP SOUNDS NICE
BUT IT’S HARD TO PLAY. Burma Shave


BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL
EYES ON THE ROAD
THAT’S THE SKILLFUL
DRIVER’S CODE. Burma Shave


THE ONE WHO DRIVES
WHEN HE’S BEEN DRINKING
DEPENDS ON YOU
TO DO HIS THINKING. Burma Shave


CAR IN DITCH
DRIVER IN TREE
THE MOON WAS FULL
AND SO WAS HE. Burma Shave


PASSING SCHOOL ZONE
TAKE IT SLOW
LET OUR LITTLE
SHAVERS GROW.
 Burma Shave

 

Do these bring back any old memories? If not, you’re merely a child.

If they do – then you’re old as dirt. LIKE ME! I loved reading them.

Have a great day!

 

It Is a Plane, No A Car, No a Dri-fly

Terrafugia-Flying-Car-Concept.jpg

Ever since I was old enough to read Popular Mechanics magazine I have been fascinated by flying cars. There have been many concepts proposed over the last seventy years, and in the past few years there have been some working prototypes made and demonstrated. The video below is ones such concept demonstrator that might actually be practical.

Flying cars sound so great  when compared to sitting in traffic jams on six lane highways. Imagine what the traffic jam would look like if the same number of flying cars were involved in transporting people to and from their jobs as there are cars today. I think we would need to wear helmets while jogging for fear of being rained upon by falling debris. The number of mid-air collisions would be so great it wouldn’t be long before flying cars would be outlawed from urban areas. At least cars are restricted to well-defined roads and rules for governing movement on those roads like controlled direction, stop signs, speed limits, etc. Where would we put stop signs in the atmosphere, and if we did stop for one would we fall from the sky?

Drone technology is bringing us closer to achieving practical flying cars, and it won’t be long before we are faced with a completely new set of regulations regarding how we dri-fly.
https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/D4uSWtazRCM?rel=0

Super Bowl, & Land Of Opportunity

I have to admit that Super Bowl LI was exciting. This was the first time in ten years that I watched. I must admit, however, that I didn’t see the entire game. Atlanta was winning 21-0 when I tuned in. I watched the half-time shows and then kept watching to see if the Pats would come back. I felt certain that if they could score quickly in the second half they would win. I saw the Pats score one touchdown. That’s about the time I noticed my wife Peg beginning to fall asleep in the wheelchair.I turned the tv on mute and we put peg to bed. It has been my habit to hold her hand and to say my prayers while she falls asleep. This can take anywhere from fifteen minutes to forty-five minutes.  The idea of living with regrets doesn’t appeal to me, so I made myself follow the ritual even though the game was not over.

I finished my prayers, Peg was fast asleep and I covered her with a second blanket then dressed down into my PJs. I emerged from the BR to see the score was at 28-28. Oh well. I watched the overtime and thought the Pat’s deserve the win for such a remarkable comeback. They are certainly a model for positive thinking and that it ain’t over till it’s over attitude.

Everyone always remarks about the fabulous commercials during the Super Bowl. I want to comment on two that stood out. The first was a picture story about a mother and daughter from a Central American country who leave home to find a better life. The story ends too soon with a message to go to the sponsors website for the conclusion. Someday, I may do that. There is no doubt that this mother-daughter team prevailed some awful hardships to make it to America. I was near tears watching them overcome the hardships of their journey. The message was they are willing to undergo tremendous hardship to get to the land of opportunity, except for one thing, they didn’t bother to get a proper entry VISA. I’m sure no one ever told them they needed such a document, but someone else must have told them to just walk in because America’s doors are wide open.

The second commercial was also about immigration. This one involves a young man with big dreams and proper credentials who journeys from Germany to Saint Louis, Missouri. There, he meets a fellow immigrant and the two of them team up to form the Anheuser-Busch brewery. The immigrant is not well accepted in this story. He is different, and people tell him so, but he overcomes the hardships and he prevails. His story is not different than those of my father and the many immigrants I lived with growing up. My dad was called  Hunky, others were called Dago, Kraut, Kyke, Pollack, Chink. There was a degrogatory name for every ethnic group in America. My parents and the parents of my many childhood friends all overcame the slurs and prevailed. They worked hard, they  learned the language the best they could, and became citizens. Their safe space was America, and they did not need the ACLU protecting them. They didn’t want to change America into their home country with their ethnic culture, but they didn’t give up celebrating in their howetown garb, or to play their failiar music, or to dance the dances they left behind. When their clebrations ended they reverted to being Americans.

Both stories are compelling. They tell the story of America. They show that America has a huge heart. The M-D  story, however, told me that we seem to have forgotten that our responsibility to immigrants is to give them a key to enter the house, i.e. a proper VISA. With the VISA the laws permit free and equal opportunity, but breaking into the house without an invitation marks them as unwanted criminals.

The immigration laws of the United States are very fair and well drafted. However, over the years our leaders from both sides have decided to ignore them. Instead of asking Congress to revise the law to allow free entry, they have opted instead to disregard the laws, and to complain that the system is broken. The system is not broken, it is a sensible workable law. If we want to accept more immigrants we should change the law to raise, or to remove the limit. Evidently, we don’t pay our Congress enough to work very hard on writing law. They spend more time worrying about becoming reelected than they do about keeping America viable, and strong.
Congress has invented many ways to circumvent the laws to allow more immigrants in. One way is the add-on to allow family members of those who are already here to come without vetting. Another is a law called DOCA passed to allow children without adult accompaniment to enter and to stay. There are many more ways.
So, instead of changing we continue to allow free entry and then complain about illegals spreading about the country.
Refugees are another exception. We have taken huge numbers of Vietnamese, Cuban, and Syrians. The Cubans and Vietnamese have assimilated, we are not yet certain about the Syrians. Maybe they will, and maybe they won’t only time will tell. If they don’t I am sure we will pass laws to change our ways. Except, the horse will be out of the barn when we finally close the door.

Those Were The Days

One of my most favorite times was the nineteen fifties. Those were the years I went to high school, and college. This video represents everything we loved and hold sacred to this day. I remember listening to Elvis’ big hit “You Ain’t Nothin’ but A Hound Dog” on my first day in college.  The  iconic Chevy and Ford car designs are still loved and most recently are being popularized by the car companies with updated 2016 looks. Those days all predated cell phones, computers, and video games. Heck, we were just getting used to black and white TV. Girls were still pure, and boys were just as horny as ever. If you wanted sex you got married. Religion was still a big thing, and most of us are still active believers. Democrats and Republicans fought like cats and dogs, but somehow managed to agree on issues that were good for the country. Foul language was not tolerated although it existed in private. Women were respected, could cook, could raise babies, and clean, and work too.  The one thing women were not, was educated like they are today. doctors still made house calls, and accepted payment in installments. Emergency rooms, if they existed, were for the mortally wounded. Jobs were plentiful, but did not always require brainpower, rather common sense ability to talk to people and to sell. Most of our fathers were laborers or tradesman. Mothers stayed home to babysit us as did every woman in the neighborhood. There was no need for surveillance cameras everywhere because our mother’s eyes and ears were everywhere. They even had eyes in the back of their heads. Telephones were just coming into homes, some even had private lines. TV broadcast from six in the morning until midnight, and the stations signed off with a prayer, or the Star Spangled Banner. Political conventions were not televised, but were covered extensively by reporters. Newspapers were everywhere. Men made a living selling news, and magazines on busy street corners. Milk, and ice were still being delivered to the front door. Vendors sold fresh fruits and vegetables out of the back of a truck by stopping at several places along a street to shout out their wares. Coal was still a big way to heat homes, and was delivered at your curb. Some people even had the coal company shovel it into the house. My dad shoveled and hauled the coal from the street to the back of the house down the steps into the basement and back through the house to the bin at the front. When I was thirteen I began helping by shoveling, and by fifteen I got the job done by the time dad came home from work. Mother saved and collected old clothes to send to her niece in Yugoslavia, a communist country. Their small two acre farm was confiscated for the good of the common people. They went hungry in Yugoslavia. My Dad did the same for his parents in Czechoslovakia, another communist heaven.

Those were the days, my friends, I would relive them without any complaint.

What To Do?

GJ Color

This BLOG has been going through the doldrums, and is slowly evolving into a huge pile of excrement. Grumpa Joe has let his personal life affect his attitude towards most of the enjoyable things in life. When he first initiated Grumpa Joe’s Place his goal was to spread positive thinking, and the merits of personal development. Not long after he opened the doors wonder boy Barack Hussein Obama arrived on the scene by declaring a run for the presidency. Grump Joe saw through him instantly, and spent the next eight years trying to educate the public about the man’s socialist (communist) background. Then, life stepped in, and rolled the dice causing Grumpa Joe to point his priorities into another direction.

Currently, Grumpa is trying to resurrect his motivation toward blogging. He is seriously thinking that Grumpa Joe’s Place is dead. He struggles to point himself into a new direction while also maintaining focus on taking care of his wife. He still has a few faithful followers from whom he would like an opinion. What direction should he take?

  1. Quit, and shut the blog down
  2. Shift the focus to educating the world to the evils of Islam
  3. Focus on writing fake news articles of obvious absurdity
  4. Publish a series of love letters to former girlfriends
  5. Re-publish other people’s work on current affairs
  6. Republish memes by others that satirize politics
  7. Original political cartoons
  8. Original fictional short stories
  9. Travel log of places I have visited
  10. Recipes of favorite foods
  11. A log of personal thoughts about anything or everything
  12. Serialize my book Jun-e-or

Beliefs

Birth Certificate shows that we were born.

A Death Certificate shows that we died.
Pictures show that we live!
Have a seat. Relax . . . and read this slowly.

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I believe
That just because two people argue,
It doesn’t mean they don’t love each other.
And just because they don’t argue,
It doesn’t mean they do love each other.

image002.jpg

I Believe…

That we don’t have to change friends if
We understand that friends change.

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I Believe….
That no matter how good a friend is,
they’re going to hurt you,
every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

image004.jpg

I Believe…..
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

image005.jpg

I Believe…
That you can do something in an instant
That will give you heartache for life.

image006.jpg

I Believe….
That it’s taking me a long time
To become the person I want to be.

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I Believe…
That you should always leave loved ones with Loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

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I Believe….
That you can keep going long after you think you can’t.

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I Believe….
That we are responsible for what
We do, no matter how we feel.

image011.jpg

I Believe…
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

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I Believe….
That heroes are the people
who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

image013.jpg

I Believe….
That my best friend and I
can do anything or nothing
and have the best time.image014.jpg

I Believe….
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

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I Believe…
That sometimes when I’m angry
I have the right to be angry, but that
doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

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I Believe…
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had
And what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

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I Believe…..
That it isn’t always enough,
to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn
to forgive yourself.

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I Believe…
That no matter how bad
your heart is broken,
the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

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I Believe….
That our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are, but,
we are responsible for who we become.

image020.jpg

I Believe…
That you shouldn’t be
so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.

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I Believe….
Two people can look at the exact same
Thing and see something totally different.

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I Believe…
That your life can be changed
in a matter of hours
by people who don’t even know you.

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I Believe…
That even when you think
you have no more to give,
When a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.

 

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I Believe…
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

 

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I Believe…
That the people you care about
most in life are taken from you too soon.

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‘The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything they have.

Locker Room Talk

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An empty locker room, the only place where there is no lewd, lascivious, and bawdy talk.

I am laughing about the furor Donald Trump caused when a ten-year old audio tape of him speaking frankly on an open mike was aired. The Progressive media played it and spun it their way non-stop for the last few days. The morally corrupt Progressives who leave God out of everything, and who reject Christianity while embracing Islam have exposed themselves and their behaviors. I read a comment on a news article spewing the terrible nature of DT’s locker room talk,  “Progressives are all deriding such language and use of the word pussy as contempt for women, then went home to watch Fifty Shades of Grey.”

I have been in a lot of locker rooms over the years, and I can vouch to that kind of language and conversation goes on in many places beside the locker room. It seems to fall under the guise of testosterone loaded men who love to express their bodacious exploits among their competitive buddies. So what is the big deal?

To me the big deal is all the Republicans who turned 180 degrees and ran like hell, and are still running are the real pussies of the day. House speaker Paul Ryan is number one among them. It is his type of politician that the country is rebelling over. There was a time when Paul Ryan was my hero, then he became the House Speaker and he immediately adopted the role of puppet within the house. If he had any balls (oh excuse me please for using such a vulgarity) he would have stood tall and kept moving like nothing happened.

In the meantime, the Progressive colony in Hollywood continue to make films that fill our heads (and those of our children) with ideas that it is okay to kill, rape, have public sex, and a myriad of other sick sexual tendencies (50 Shades) all under the guise of art. Make a perfectly normal comment about a hot woman and the whole community goes into a snit.

Many men have two demeanors, one that lives within the man’s world and another that lives in the world of family. The two are rarely exposed or mixed. Wives are often shocked when  a husband screws up and uses the word fuck in a conversation. The same guy goes red and blushes apologetically for breaking his code. In modern times, like now, women have an equal tendency to use improper slang words. For instance, Hillary Clinton has been documented  using really foul slang in her discourse with men, most notably Secret Service Agents, and her husband. Perhaps it is because she wants to be more manly and tough sounding.

The bottom line is this. Find something worthwhile to talk about, and stop wasting my time on your liberal rants and hypocritical arguments about how bad your enemy is. Instead, begin to do your job by examining issues from both sides of the fence. Expose corruption, do not defend it like you do now. The Founding Fathers counted on  free press to keep the government straight. How else will we the people learn about the crooks in office?  What we have now is a reporting system that is under the spell of the crooks in office. Snap out of it! There was a time when I really believed that Obama’s many corrupt policies would be exposed by honest driving reporters just like Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein who exposed the Watergate case, and wouldn’t let it go until justice was served. They were real journalists, what we have now are people who read news from a teleprompter, and have no inclination to investigate or probe the leads that take them to the truth. Editors and producers are just as inept as the journalists. It is too easy to get your official words sent to you by the Government information agency. Our great communication organizations have become Tass and Pravda.

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