Trump’s First Mistake

Posted on 31/03/2017 by Grumpa Joe

President Trump let me down. His attempt to ram-rod a faulty healthcare bill through Congress was terrible. Once upon a time Paul Ryan was my hero, only because he is the only Republican representative in the state of Wisconsin, and because he spent his formative years as a grunt working in Congress. Paul is also a dedicated family man for which I give him much credit. His ploy to get the AHCA approved was probably a good one, but knowing how Congress acts and thinks anytime you approve a plan that requires more than one approval it is dead on arrival. President Reagan made a fatal mistake when he approved the amnesty program during his term. Congress had promised to pass a border wall and immigration reform to follow. Of course we all know that a wall was never even started, nor was immigration reform. Burn me once, shame on you, burn me twice, shame on me.

No one knows what the final outcome will be, but at least we now have some time to figure it out. Of course the Democrats will lobby hard for a single payer government-run health care system. God forbid we fall for that BS.

Today,  I read about a fire that caused an elevated interstate highway to collapse in Georgia. The first thing that came to mind was how could that be? Concrete and steel are not fuel. In retrospect, my thoughts have been influenced by sixteen years of brainwashing by 911 Truthers that Twin Towers fell because of a government conspiracy, and not by a fire caused by thousands of gallons of burning jet fuel. This current incident shows the Truthers that concrete is affected by major heat. If I were an architect supporting the 911 conspiracy theory who argued that the towers could not have come down because of such a fire, I’d be headed for the underground, I’d grow a beard, I’d dye my hair, I’d change my name, I’d do everything I could to remove the stain of my fallacious support. These are the same kind of smart guys with lots of degrees, and educational letters after their names that are currently espousing man-made global warming because it is the thing to do.

 

Filed under: Government, health care, politics, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , | Leave a comment »

170331-Giggles

Posted on 31/03/2017 by Grumpa Joe
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Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake.  The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, “I can’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don’t get it.” 

“Well,” said the big gator,“what have you been eating?”  

“Politicians, same as you,”replied the small gator. 
 
“Hmm….. Well, where do you catch them?” 
 
“Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol.” 
 
“Same here. Hmm…. How do you catch them?”
 
“Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat ’em!” 
 
“Same here.” says the big gator. “Do you eat Democrats or Republicans?” 
 
“I eat only the Democrats”says the little guy. 
 
“Ah!” says the big gator. “I think I see your problem. You’re not getting any real nourishment.
You see, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Democrat, there’s nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase.”
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Subject: Muslim Bookstore

So, I was walking in the mall and I saw that there was a Muslim Bookstore.

The sign outside led me to wonder just what exactly was in a Muslim
bookstore, so I went in.

As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk gave me the stink eye,
but asked if he could help me.

I know I didn’t look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do you have a
copy of Donald Trump’s Book on his

U.S. Immigration policy regarding Muslims and Illegal aliens?”

The clerk said, “Kiss my ass, Get out, and Stay Out!”

I said, “Yes, that’s the one. Do you have it in paperback?”

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This Ought to Make All Grandpas Feel Warm and Fuzzy
A six-year-old goes to the hospital with her mother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her mother and bursts into her Grandpa’s room. “Grandpa, Grandpa,” she says excitedly,
“as soon as my mother comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!
“What?” said her Grandpa.
“Make a noise like a frog because my mum said that as soon as you croak, we’re all going to Disney World.”
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A retired older couple returned to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they had been interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in
a mini skirt and a halter top. The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply,
“Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $55,000 asking price. Yet I just overheard you closed the deal for $45,000 to the lovely young lady
there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no way you could discount this model.”
The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of
water.
“Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn’t need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?”, replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.
 Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man.
 “There you go,” she said. “I told you I could get that idiot to lower the price. See you
later Dad, Happy Father’s day.”
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Better than a Flu Shot!
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint
sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old  Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat the pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
“Miss Beatrice”, he said, “I wonder if you would tell me about this?” Pointing to the bowl.
“Oh, yes,” she replied, “Isn’t it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.”

“Do you know I haven’t had the flu all winter.”

Filed under: Aging, Humor | Tagged: | 1 Comment »

It Makes No Sense

Posted on 31/03/2017 by Grumpa Joe

It drives me crazy when I hear that Trump’s approval ratings are low. Another story that amuses me is that he will be impeached within two years. The logic of it all does not make a lick of sense. Why would a country full of people who overwhelmingly voted for a man not of the establishment betray him within two months of his presidency? The answer is that they haven’t betrayed him. I for one believe he will need a few more weeks to understand the system before he begins to really build a head of steam. How do these poll numbers come about? It is easy, they are taken in democrat precincts where the people naturally hate Trump for knocking the goddess off the pedestal.

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The answer to much of the erroneuos writing then lies in the fake news or shadow government spectra. Liberals are exasperated over losing the election to a political amateur, and the embarrassment of beating their top-tier candidate, who was purportedly a shoe-in, is too much to take. The Libs are now engaged in a full-blown war to dethrone the amateur.

Fake news, or a more honest way to call it is lies, has become the tool of modern politics. The modern media perverts bits of news into sensational negative stories in an attempt to make those of us who are responsible for his election feel sorry for our action. I have to admit, the assault is relentless, but so far the only effect it has had on me is to turn off the radio or the TV to read a book written by a conservative author.

The liberal drive to divide Republicans is the latest attempt to undermine Trump’s presidency; they pit Regular Republicans against RINOs, and against Conservatives. They turn a healthy debate into a war. How many times have we heard about the lack of cooperation between members of Congress? Too many times is the answer. The only time Democrats are happy is when they get everything they want, and/or when they are bashing Republicans. I don’t blame them, I love to bash democrats at every opportunity. The problem with bashing is that isn’t what we pay Congress to do.

We elected a nonpolitical to do the job because we were sick of Obama doing nothing but play politics at every opportunity. He played the Liberals like Liberace played the piano, they in turn played him equally well with contributions, undying admiration, and loyalty. He had Hollywood eating out of his hands, and working for his causes, he had unions doing the same. Obama even had manufacturing companies in the bag, but to what avail? The only employment increase in the past eight years came from government who hired nearly three million new cheer leaders. Good old-fashioned manufacturing jobs were exported to Mexico and China.

This afternoon, Peg and I had a visit from the Hospice nurse. She is a loving, caring person who happens to be for Obama, and very against Trump. This morning my Trump tee-shirt came up for rotation, and I donned it without thinking about the nurse. Well, my shirt triggered her into an anti-Trump rant that didn’t stop. Her latest is that he will be impeached soon. She also said she refuses to use Trump hotels anymore even though she loves staying in luxurious places. I told her, “I bet you have a closet full of Ivanka fashions.” Her response kind of surprised me. “I do have several pair of Ivanka shoes, they are the most comfortable, but I won’t wear them now.” I told her to keep checking into Trump Towers, and wearing the Ivanka shoes, no one will know the difference but her.

I kind of shuffled her out the door because I had to get to an appointment. She left into a driving rain muttering more stuff about Trump as she ran to her Mercedes.

 

Filed under: Conservative, Election, politics | Tagged: , | Leave a comment »

Excuse Me, But Isn’t That Discrimination?

Posted on 30/03/2017 by Grumpa Joe

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All the talk about sanctuary cities has caused me to dream about the problem. Last night, in a particularly unexciting dream, it occurred to me that two things bother me about sanctuary cities. One is a very obstinate refusal of our governments to adhere to the laws, thereby making a mockery of our claim that we are a nation of laws. The second is also an hypocrisy regarding our so-called dream of living in a fair world of diversity.  Doesn’t the idea of allowing a segment of people living in America with special privileges smack of discrimination? Haven’t we as a nation fought extra hard to eliminate discrimination? Yet, here we are allowing special cases to be fostered, and expanded as though it was a human right.

How long will it be before we allow gangs to have sanctuary in the same cities? Or, when will we grant special privileges to Syrian refugees? We already grant extra special privileges to Muslims all around the country, like ‘no-go zones,” or prayer rooms. Each of these examples is a form of discrimination, either against the resident culture, or for the special needs of a religion or sect. Laws on abortion, and birth control are also discriminatory.

Another scary example comes to mind inside the prison population. We grant special treatment such as free medical care, sex change operations, and much more to prisoners, yet we discriminate against normal people trying to eke out a living in an honest manner.

If new are to live up to the ideals we so proudly proclaim in our pledge, our Constitution and our anthem we must bite the bullet, and abandon special privileges like sanctuary cities.

Filed under: Education, family, Government, Society | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

Will Humans Become Extinct?

Posted on 30/03/2017 by Grumpa Joe

A news headline today featured Michael Moore saying Trump will cause humans to go extinct. Forgive me folks, but Michael Moore is a very large bag of wind. What will cause humans to become extinct is their fading memories. It seems that the young crowd in developed countries have forgotten what sex is really for. The result has been a bunch of young people screwing their jollies off without bearing children. The problem is so bad that countries have taken to importing immigrants, USA included, to save themselves. I’ve written about this before, and I will continue to write about it over and over. Sex is for procreation not for fun, although  there is a good bit of pleasure associated with it.

Michael Moore’s point is that Trump will cause worldwide havoc by his activity to abandon US participation in global warming committees. The plain and simple fact is that there is no credible evidence whatsoever to support man-made global warming and there is no measured trend indicating a rise in global temperature. Yes, there has been some melting of ice in the Arctic, but the ice has returned in cyclic fashion. Leftists spurred on by Barack Obama have been so thoroughly brain washed to believe that we will cause the earth to drown in the water resulting in the melting Antarctica that they even have the Pope convinced.

If Antarctica ice were to melt it would take well over a hundred years for it to become evident. I believe mankind is smart enough to save itself when it sees the water seeping into their lives.

Anyway, I will not be around in a hundred years to watch this phenomenon happen so it doesn’t bother me at all. All of my family is smart enough to live inland where the water will not affect them. Since the majority of crazies live on either the West or the East coast I recommend they wear life vests and scuba gear to bed.

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In the same one hundred years, we will have depleted our fossil fuel supply, well maybe, and our shift to some unknown yet to be discovered power source similar to Lithium Di-crystals used to power the Starship Enterprise will have been discovered to save the day.

The need for power will spur men to find new sources of energy that will allow us to survive. At this time, there is still plenty of fossil fuel to supply our needs for the next two to five hundred years. I also expect some genius kid to invent a low-cost process to scrub excess CO2 from the air and thus prevent any overheating of the planet. All we have to do is to shift kids from studying banking and political science to real math and real science so we might stand a chance.

Remember Michael Moore is a number one source for FAKE news, and man’s need for energy will drive him to invent new ways to get it.

 

Filed under: family, Satire, Science | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

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