Trump’s First Mistake

Posted on 31/03/2017 by Grumpa Joe

President Trump let me down. His attempt to ram-rod a faulty healthcare bill through Congress was terrible. Once upon a time Paul Ryan was my hero, only because he is the only Republican representative in the state of Wisconsin, and because he spent his formative years as a grunt working in Congress. Paul is also a dedicated family man for which I give him much credit. His ploy to get the AHCA approved was probably a good one, but knowing how Congress acts and thinks anytime you approve a plan that requires more than one approval it is dead on arrival. President Reagan made a fatal mistake when he approved the amnesty program during his term. Congress had promised to pass a border wall and immigration reform to follow. Of course we all know that a wall was never even started, nor was immigration reform. Burn me once, shame on you, burn me twice, shame on me.

No one knows what the final outcome will be, but at least we now have some time to figure it out. Of course the Democrats will lobby hard for a single payer government-run health care system. God forbid we fall for that BS.

Today,  I read about a fire that caused an elevated interstate highway to collapse in Georgia. The first thing that came to mind was how could that be? Concrete and steel are not fuel. In retrospect, my thoughts have been influenced by sixteen years of brainwashing by 911 Truthers that Twin Towers fell because of a government conspiracy, and not by a fire caused by thousands of gallons of burning jet fuel. This current incident shows the Truthers that concrete is affected by major heat. If I were an architect supporting the 911 conspiracy theory who argued that the towers could not have come down because of such a fire, I’d be headed for the underground, I’d grow a beard, I’d dye my hair, I’d change my name, I’d do everything I could to remove the stain of my fallacious support. These are the same kind of smart guys with lots of degrees, and educational letters after their names that are currently espousing man-made global warming because it is the thing to do.

 

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170331-Giggles

Posted on 31/03/2017 by Grumpa Joe
creative-jokes-10.jpg
Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake.  The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, “I can’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don’t get it.” 

“Well,” said the big gator,“what have you been eating?”  

“Politicians, same as you,”replied the small gator. 
 
“Hmm….. Well, where do you catch them?” 
 
“Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol.” 
 
“Same here. Hmm…. How do you catch them?”
 
“Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat ’em!” 
 
“Same here.” says the big gator. “Do you eat Democrats or Republicans?” 
 
“I eat only the Democrats”says the little guy. 
 
“Ah!” says the big gator. “I think I see your problem. You’re not getting any real nourishment.
You see, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Democrat, there’s nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase.”
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Subject: Muslim Bookstore

So, I was walking in the mall and I saw that there was a Muslim Bookstore.

The sign outside led me to wonder just what exactly was in a Muslim
bookstore, so I went in.

As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk gave me the stink eye,
but asked if he could help me.

I know I didn’t look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do you have a
copy of Donald Trump’s Book on his

U.S. Immigration policy regarding Muslims and Illegal aliens?”

The clerk said, “Kiss my ass, Get out, and Stay Out!”

I said, “Yes, that’s the one. Do you have it in paperback?”

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This Ought to Make All Grandpas Feel Warm and Fuzzy
A six-year-old goes to the hospital with her mother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her mother and bursts into her Grandpa’s room. “Grandpa, Grandpa,” she says excitedly,
“as soon as my mother comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!
“What?” said her Grandpa.
“Make a noise like a frog because my mum said that as soon as you croak, we’re all going to Disney World.”
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A retired older couple returned to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they had been interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in
a mini skirt and a halter top. The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply,
“Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $55,000 asking price. Yet I just overheard you closed the deal for $45,000 to the lovely young lady
there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no way you could discount this model.”
The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of
water.
“Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn’t need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?”, replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.
 Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man.
 “There you go,” she said. “I told you I could get that idiot to lower the price. See you
later Dad, Happy Father’s day.”
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Better than a Flu Shot!
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint
sitting room.
She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old  Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat the pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.
“Miss Beatrice”, he said, “I wonder if you would tell me about this?” Pointing to the bowl.
“Oh, yes,” she replied, “Isn’t it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.”

“Do you know I haven’t had the flu all winter.”

Filed under: Aging, Humor | Tagged: | 1 Comment »

It Makes No Sense

Posted on 31/03/2017 by Grumpa Joe

It drives me crazy when I hear that Trump’s approval ratings are low. Another story that amuses me is that he will be impeached within two years. The logic of it all does not make a lick of sense. Why would a country full of people who overwhelmingly voted for a man not of the establishment betray him within two months of his presidency? The answer is that they haven’t betrayed him. I for one believe he will need a few more weeks to understand the system before he begins to really build a head of steam. How do these poll numbers come about? It is easy, they are taken in democrat precincts where the people naturally hate Trump for knocking the goddess off the pedestal.

death_to_the_msm.jpg

The answer to much of the erroneuos writing then lies in the fake news or shadow government spectra. Liberals are exasperated over losing the election to a political amateur, and the embarrassment of beating their top-tier candidate, who was purportedly a shoe-in, is too much to take. The Libs are now engaged in a full-blown war to dethrone the amateur.

Fake news, or a more honest way to call it is lies, has become the tool of modern politics. The modern media perverts bits of news into sensational negative stories in an attempt to make those of us who are responsible for his election feel sorry for our action. I have to admit, the assault is relentless, but so far the only effect it has had on me is to turn off the radio or the TV to read a book written by a conservative author.

The liberal drive to divide Republicans is the latest attempt to undermine Trump’s presidency; they pit Regular Republicans against RINOs, and against Conservatives. They turn a healthy debate into a war. How many times have we heard about the lack of cooperation between members of Congress? Too many times is the answer. The only time Democrats are happy is when they get everything they want, and/or when they are bashing Republicans. I don’t blame them, I love to bash democrats at every opportunity. The problem with bashing is that isn’t what we pay Congress to do.

We elected a nonpolitical to do the job because we were sick of Obama doing nothing but play politics at every opportunity. He played the Liberals like Liberace played the piano, they in turn played him equally well with contributions, undying admiration, and loyalty. He had Hollywood eating out of his hands, and working for his causes, he had unions doing the same. Obama even had manufacturing companies in the bag, but to what avail? The only employment increase in the past eight years came from government who hired nearly three million new cheer leaders. Good old-fashioned manufacturing jobs were exported to Mexico and China.

This afternoon, Peg and I had a visit from the Hospice nurse. She is a loving, caring person who happens to be for Obama, and very against Trump. This morning my Trump tee-shirt came up for rotation, and I donned it without thinking about the nurse. Well, my shirt triggered her into an anti-Trump rant that didn’t stop. Her latest is that he will be impeached soon. She also said she refuses to use Trump hotels anymore even though she loves staying in luxurious places. I told her, “I bet you have a closet full of Ivanka fashions.” Her response kind of surprised me. “I do have several pair of Ivanka shoes, they are the most comfortable, but I won’t wear them now.” I told her to keep checking into Trump Towers, and wearing the Ivanka shoes, no one will know the difference but her.

I kind of shuffled her out the door because I had to get to an appointment. She left into a driving rain muttering more stuff about Trump as she ran to her Mercedes.

 

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