Civil War?

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While Obama was running for his first presidential term I predicted that there would be civil war fought in our country. The division that occurred between the left and the right without any middle ground seemed to be too huge to keep it from happening. The war has not happened, at least not a shooting war, but we are still divided even more so today than in 2008. The democrats had all the power; a leftist president, and Democrats were the majority in both houses. There was no stopping them. The unaffordable Care Act was approved by bull dozing through without any prior review by either house. We as citizens criticized our leaders for not reading the bill. The plain and simple fact was that they were not given an opportunity to read it. Had they the chance there would have been public outcry to stop the bill before it came to a vote.

Currently, the Republicans have the power, and I fully expect them to squander the opportunity to do some real good for the country. How many of you remember Obama putting down John McCain by Obama for daring to present an argument against the ACA. Obama very arrogantly told him the elections have consequences and I won you lost. The democrats rallied around that audacity and steam rolled the country into believing their bill was the salvation of the country. After the ACA passed and it became obvious that it had major problems, Obama again arrogantly changed the law to his satisfaction without any notification of Congress, a violation of his authority and against the law. The Democrats totally supported him because he was the Messiah and the ACA was to magic cure-all bullet.

This week, I heard Democrat Senator Chuck Schumer from New York cry that  Republican Senators  won’t compromise and allow the Democrats to ruin new efforts to make the bill into something that could work. What upset me was a lack of outrage by Republicans. I never heard any of them say that elections have consequences, and we won, you lost. I have this feeling that Republicans still think the Democrats are willing to compromise for the good of the country. They are not willing to do anything but to win for their corrupt party.

It is sad that the press, and the Democrats get so worked up when President Trump fights back against some of the BS they throw at him. The Press truly get upset that anyone should treat them in this manner. What they don’t fully understand is that the civil war I have alluded to is taking place, and they are the enemy. They lament that they are only trying to do their job, they don’t deserve to be denigrated and on. They still don’t get that they are the problem, and when they spew there falsities as fact we the reader have no fact checker to check them with. To them I say, get over it, we won you lost. If the want us to treat them appropriately, they can begin by reporting fairly and honestly without bias to either side. Instead they choose to be on the side of the enemy. I say to you, keep plenty of fresh kleenex in your pockets to catch the alligator tears you will shed when recoil against you when you spew lies at us.

Another point that has me upset is that there are factions within the Republican party that fight against their own people. The Congress resembles the war in Syria; Syrians against Syrians, rebels against Syrians, ISIS against everybody, the USA against ISIS, and the Russians against the rebels. Mark my word, there will soon be a video game depicting this scenario. I hope the developer sends a free copy to every member of the Senate so they can learn from it.  What a mess.

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Fairy Tale

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Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, 

“Will you marry me?”

The Princess immediately said, “No!”

And the Prince lived happily ever after, and
rode motorcycles and dated thin, long-legged,
full-breasted women, and hunted and fished 
and
raced cars, and went to titty bars and
dated ladies half his age 
 
and
drank whiskey, beer, and Captain Morgan, and
never heard bitching 
 
and
never paid child support or alimony, and
dated cheerleaders and  
kept his house and guns, and ate spam and
potato chips and beans, and  
blew enormous farts, and
never got cheated on while he was at work, 
 
and
all his friends and family thought
he was friggin’ cool as hell, 
 
and
he had tons of money in the bank, and
left the toilet seat up.
 
The End.

170623-Funnies

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     The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell
their stories.
      There were all the regular type stuff, spilled milk and pennies saved.  Then teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Ernie
was left.
      ‘Ernie, do you have a story to share?
‘Yes ma’am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen.  She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.
      She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t
break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.’
Good Heavens‘ said the horrified teacher. ‘What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?’
‘Stay the fuck away from Aunt Karen when she’s drinking’
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SCOTTISH WEDDING
At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled… “Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.”
The bartender was almost crushed to death.

SEX

Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex anymore…
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.
Poor Lance Armstrong –
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong,especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs.  When I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my bike!

Drive By
A guy broke into my apartment last week.  He didn’t take my TV, just the  remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels.
Sick Bastard!!

SCAM
Just got scammed out of $25.
Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled “My Favorite 18 Holes”.
Turns out it’s about golf. 
Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don’t get scammed.

Best Regards,
Charlie Sheen

So True
Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself.
The Moral of the story:In life, no one helps you once you’ve been screwed.

Pregnant Prostitute
  Doctor asks pregnant prostitute, “do you know who the father is?”
“For god sakes ,   if you ate a tin of beans would you know which one  made you fart?”

QANTAS
Paddy calls QANTAS to book a flight.
The operator asks, “How many people are flying with you?” 

Paddy replies “I don’t know! It’s your bloody plane!! “

Amazing Adventure

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One of many items on my bucket list is to read the biographies of all the Presidents. So far I have read about twenty. The book I just completed is a piece of the life of Theodore Roosevelt. Imagine living a life so rich in accomplishment that a major adventure fills a book and is just a small part of one’s life.

Teddy Roosevelt had just lost the election to become President of the USA for a third term. He tried what is today described as a losing affair. Teddy formed a third-party he called the Bull Moose party to run against Woodrow Wilson a democrat who today is by some considered to be one of the greatest presidents that we ever had. Others, like myself consider him to be the father of American Progressivism, or Socialism. Nevertheless, Roosevelt lost big. In his recovery from the loss, he was talked into making a speaking tour of South America. To make a dull trip more exciting he chose to add an adventure to his itinerary. A friend talked him into an exploration of a little known river in Brazil. The friend imagined the tour to be an easy down river float with all the comforts of home, including chef cooked meals of extraordinary cuisine, and fine wines. Roosevelt’s biggest mistake was to trust the friend to plan and outfit the excursion.

While in South America giving speeches, he met a man known for exploring the Brazilian rain forests. The man, Cândido Mariano da Silva Rondon, suggested to Roosevelt that his expedition explore a totally unknown one thousand mile long tributary of the Amazon called the River of Doubt. The adventure would allow Rondon to put this river on the map. The idea appealed to Roosevelt and the whole trip changed in character.

Author Candice Millard crafted an extraordinary narrative from details recorded by members of the expedition. The story keeps the reader interested throughout. This story would make an excellent adventure movie, but it is too big to tell, and was made into a series.

Marital Bliss

It takes two to tangle, but sometimes a third body sneaks in.
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

A woman and a man are lying in bed next to each other when her phone rings.
She picks up, the man looks over at her and listens.

She is speaking in a cheery voice, “Hi, I’m so glad you called. Really? That’s wonderful.
I’m so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye.”

She hangs up, and the man asks, “Who was that?” “Oh, she replies, “that was my

husband telling me about the great time he’s having on his golf trip with you.”
Special Package deal for Businessmen
An Airline introduced a special package for Business men.
Buy your ticket, get your wife’s ticket free.
After great success, the company sent letters to all the wives asking how was the trip.
All of them gave the same reply…”What trip?”
New SIM to Surprise Her Husband

Woman buys a new Sim Card. Puts it in her phone and decides
to surprise her husband who is seated on the couch in the living room
She goes to the kitchen, calls her husband with the new number:
“Hello Darling.”
The husband responds in a low tone:
“Let me call you back later Honey, my wife is in the kitchen.

Throwing Knives at Wife’s Picture

Husband was throwing knives at his wife’s picture.
All the knives were missing the target!
Suddenly he received a call from her “Hi, what are you
doing?”
His honest reply, “MISSING YOU.”

Habit of Talking in Sleep
A lady to doctor: My husband has a habit of talking in

his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?

Dr: Give him an opportunity to speak when he is awake.

Natural Disasters Just Happen

Nobody teaches volcanoes to erupt, tsunamis to devastate,
hurricanes to swirl around and no one teaches a man how
to choose a wife.
Natural disasters just happen.

Your Husband Needs Rest

Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace,

so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you!

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One More Off the Bucket List

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Some days things go right. Last week I toured the shelves of the library to find a new read. Usually, I find a shiny new cover which speaks to me. On this day a dull old cover jumped off the shelf and said “take me.” I was almost embarrassed to check it out. My guess is that when I finally tell you what the book is you will think, “how the heck have you gone so long without ever reading this most recommended story.” I’ve seen it on every recommended book list that my seven grandchildren have brought home from school. The only excuse I have is that To Kill A Mockingbird was published four years after I graduated from high school.

After reading the story non-stop I wholly agree with every high school teacher in the country that this book is a must read for kids. First, because it is about kids, second, it is about prejudice, and third, it is historical because the story takes place in 1930’s Alabama. I am pleased to report that America has changed dramatically since that time period, thank God. I am sure that the black American population will argue that America is still highly prejudiced, but I would hope they would also agree that we are nowhere near the level of prejudice we were eighty-seven years ago.

I would argue that prejudice in America is at a tipping point. What I mean is that there is a prevalent prejudice of whites. The government has passed so many laws and acts to curb prejudice and to equalize rights that it is now in favor of blacks. How on earth could the term white privilege have been invented? Whites in America are so racked with guilt over our historical past that they are self-immolating amongst themselves. On the other side, blacks are so inspired by their new-found rights they are over indulging. The Black Lives Matter Movement is certainly a hint that the direction of black superiority has inculcated to the extent that they believe it is okay to kill white police officers without any plausibility or due process.  How is it different when a black sneaks up on a police car to shoot the officer within than a bunch of white sheeted coward terrorists hang a black man from a tree.

It might be a good idea if all men white, red, black, and yellow read To Kill A Mockingbird and decide for themselves if our society has progressed toward the better.

“Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit ’em, but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.”

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I Get No Respect

Ask anyone in America why our kids are so screwed up, and they might say because they have no respect for their elders. They are coddled, and spoiled by too many over generous relatives, and a society that has worked overtime to create a perfect world.

What we fail to understand is that Utopia is an old idea which has maintained its desirability. We just don’t accept the fact that building Utopia is impossible. Looking into the mirror we see that our kids are obviously spoiled brats. Their only desire in life is to sit in a safe space with a smart phone in hand, or a video game player. Ask them what they want to be when they grow up, and you get a blank stare. That is one reason the Affordable Care Act is so expensive, it allows a kid to stay on his parent’s insurance plan until he is twenty-six years old. It doesn’t make sense to me at all because we urge them to vote by the time they are eighteen, and to join the military when they are eighteen, but they can’t find a job to get their own health insurance until they are twenty-six.

I love to listen to old guys tell me their life stories, and I have always admired those of them who left home at age eleven to become independent. My own father and mother  left their homes at age sixteen to migrate to a better life. When I see a sixteen year old today, I see a toddler who must still be left in a playpen to stay safe.

The video below depicts a real life story of a youngster from another country where parents still have control of their kids and the kids still respect their elders.

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