Terrorists Strike a Frankfort Home

Late last evening Akkmed Wabbit and his young son Osama bin Wabbit were seen high tailing it out of the garden. This morning Grumpa Joe discovered the attack  while he strolled the Monet Vision with his coffee in hand. “The little bastards just took out sixty dollars worth of petunias. I hope they get indigestion,” he said out loud. He then went inside to plot his revenge.

He should have known better than to plant Petunias, but Joe felt secure after not having seen a Wabbit for several months. Last year the marigolds kept them out. He started to research methods for eliminating Wabbits from gardens. Here is the list of ways he is considering:

  1. DeCon, poison

2  Live trap

3. Rat traps

4. Shotgun

5. Import a coyote

6. Hire a Hawk

7. Plant Marigolds

8. Fence off the flower beds

9. Hire a 24 hour armed guard to chase them away

10. Buy a Beagle and let him patrol the garden.

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Monet Vision-Patriot’s Dream on June 3, 2016

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Monet Vision-Patriot’s Dream eaten by Wabbits, June 11, 2016

A surprise retaliation awaits you little bastards.

 

 

 

THE WAR BEGINS!

This evening my war with thistle began. I’m finished with pulling and digging the darn things out of the ground. The weed propagates via runners. Pulling on them just breaks the vertical shoot and leaves the runner below to sprout again.

The evening is incredibly warm for April, and the wind died down. There is very little vegetation showing except the dreaded thistle. It is the perfect night to spray. This time the assault emulated Sadam Hussein’s, and Bashar al-Assad’s attack on their own people, chemical weapons. Earlier in the month I met the scourge head on with a biodegradable chemical know as vinegar. Vinegar  had little to no effect on these vermin. Tonight I bumped up the game to full strength Round Up. Certainly this will put the running bastards down for good. I can only hope.

After last summer’s dreadful lack of attention to my garden I have promised myself that this is the year of the Monet Vision-abcdefg, The second name will come later after I have planted and know what the color scheme will be. One thing for sure, it will not be orange or yellow. The Monet Vision-Golden Glow will be hard to beat.

Most likely, I will be stupid enough to plant flowers that the Wabbits love. After two years of a very sparing Wabbit population, I have evidence to believe they are back. The evidence being visual sightings of as many as three Wabbits in the yard at one time. This would be the year to plant Wabbit repelling Marigolds, except they only come in yellow, and orange with some brown.

A New Union of Terrorists

Black_and_white_rabbit_orig

Boko Leporidae, Leader of the ICWIS

Boko Leporidae hopped into the assembly of terror cells in Grumpa Joe’s garden. Boko did not look like any of the Wabbits living in the garden, he was fluffier and more like the Easter Bunny. His shorter ears stood erect on his head, and his fur was white with splotches of black.  “We have to unite, or die, said Boko.”

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Hunched down low in the first row in front of Boko were Aga Bam-bi, and Ali Bug-Bunee. Aga munched on a clover flower while Ali nervously scanned the garden for signs of Grumpa Joe. Ali twisted and twitched his ears in all directions. His eyes open wide scanning the garden for movement while his nose was a constant twitch.  Both Aga, and Ali suffered a devastating winter living in dire conditions of deep snow and brutal cold. As leaders of terror cells their focus shifted to survival, and not in terrorizing the garden. Little did they know that in their quest for food that had stripped the young bark off the Viburnum and the Willow shrubs causing them great stress. Missing from the meeting were the squirrels. “They took a terrible beating from the hawks,” said Aga.

Behind Aga and Ali sat Slimy the Slug, a new member of the organization. Slimy sat nervously hoping the meeting would end quickly. He needed darkness to carry out his work, and this meeting cut into his feeding time. Unlike the Wabbits, Slugs can not work in sunshine. The sun quickly dehydrates their vital fluids and kills them.

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Aga Bam-bi and Ali Bug-Bunee at the union meeting

 

“Without a united front, we will all perish and Grumpa Joe will win. He will succeed in driving us out of his garden.”

“He hasn’t planted any Petunias yet this year,” said Ali.

“The tulips are all bloomed out so there is little left for us to raid,” spoke Aga.

“Fear not,” said Boko. “With a united effort, no matter what he plants we will take him down. Are we going to stand together, or will we go down?”

“We will stand together,” they answered in unison.

“Good. As soon as we know what his Monet Vision looks like we will strike terror into the old man’s life.

Grumpa Joe and Peggy spent the winter in the Valley of the Sun enjoying the warmth away from the deep snow that blanketed the garden. All winter Grumpa Joe envisioned the 2014 Monet Vision. “I’m going to call it Golden Glow,” he told Peggy. This year I will outsmart the Wabbits by planting flowers they can’t stand.”

“That’s a good idea,” said Peggy.

“There is only one problem?”

“What is that,” she asked?

“The flowers they hate are not available in the colors you like, you won’t have any pinks, or blues, or reds to enjoy. I can see it in my mind and it will be the most beautiful garden we have ever had.”

“What ever you say Dear.”

Grumpa Joe got a very late start on planting because of all the travel he and Peggy did. First, they had to return from the Valley and then they had to go half way back across the country to attend the graduation ceremony of  Grumpa Joe’s grand-daughter. Before they left, he spent most of his time pulling weeds and preparing the flower beds.

When GJ returned home and walked around his garden he spotted Aga Bug-Bunee chewing peacefully on clover flowers. Eat all of that you want he said to himself, but stay away from my annuals.

After the graduation, Grumpa went on a flower buying spree. He bought a variety of Marigolds in yellow, orange, and mixed. This will fix them he thought. Those fuzzy Wabbits will stay away. I think it is the smell that does it.

In his day dreaming he envisioned a garden of yellows and golds of many sizes shapes and textures. Right after he planted his first batch of marigolds, he went on a second flower safari and bought more marigolds but also daisies, zinnias, some low growing Lysimachia,  a full flat of tall skinny Celosia, and a spicy orange Asiatic Lily. He plunked a few pots of  yellow Lantana into the mix and hoped he wasn’t buying very expensive Wabbit food.

A week after he planted the marigolds he noticed a few plants doing poorly. He got on his knees to get close to the ground. The foliage on the plant was gone. All that remained were the stems. Hmmnn! Where have I seen that before? Oh Yes, in my very first garden on Keeler Avenue I planted a line of Marigolds and they looked the same as this one. It took me a lot of research to find the culprit of that mystery, and when I did, I didn’t want to believe it. The garden has many critters, he thought. For every plant I buy a specific bug or predator exists to take it out. Now a new battle begins, and I’m afraid it involves chemical warfare for this terrorist. I can have no mercy on this tribe. I must annihilate them in order for the garden to live on. The formula for this new weapon resides in my study, I must find it quickly.

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Slimy the Slug

The Union of Wabbits and Slugs met in the garden late at night after all the house-lights were out. Boko Leporidae, asked for reports on activity in the yard. Aga spoke first. “The Old Man planted Marigolds, I hate them and won’t go near them.”

“Anyone else?”

Slimy spoke up, “I ate a very delicious Marigold this week, and I can’t wait to get back for some more.”

Boko asked,” What are we going to do? There are many rabbits who will not eat Marigolds, but only one slug that will.”

Slimy answered, “I’ll begin recruiting as many of my friends as possible. Once they know there are Marigolds, they will drop the Hostas and come slithering over.”

“Do you think you can get enough help to do the job?”

“Oh yes, but it will take a few weeks to get their attention.” We have so much to eat in this yard it doesn’t pay to move around too much. We’ll just have to multiply in droves to make it happen.”

“Keep up the good work,” said Boko. “Stay observant and explore the yard for species you love and take them down as soon as you can. This guy is an infidel and needs to be taught a lesson. The early chapters of our holy book demands that Infidels be terrorized. While you are doing that I will contact the NSA (Nature Spy Alliance) for more intelligence and search for new members.”

“Hey Chief, what will we call our new union,” asked Ali Bug-Bunee?

How about the Illinois Coalition of Wabbits, Insects, and  Slugs, or “ICWIS” pronounced Icy-Whiz?

“Yeah that sounds catchy.”

 

. . . .to be continued

 

 

A Major Milestone Reached

God Blesses America

God Blesses America

This is my 1000th post, and I am proud that I reached it. When I began blogging, I never imagined that I would ever reach 1000. In fact at the beginning of 2013, I saw 1000 as too far in the future. Well, it happened. This post will make me happy only if it is meaningful and memorable.  To begin, I decided to copy post number one and republish my thoughts from 1000 posts ago.

Here is Post Number One:

Well the words “income tax,” required that I really get myself motivated to file. Nothing like the drudgery of  looking through old receipts and bank statements to get one excited. I scheduled two days for the task. They came and went, Then I scheduled another two days to do taxes. Again they came and went. Finally, I told myself that a great reward awaits me if I start and finish in one day. What was my reward?  A walk in the park. That is exactly what I did today. I completed the bloody 1040 and then went for a nice long walk. I didn’t mind the cold or the drizzle. It felt good compared to the drudge of filing.

Motivation is about playing tricks with your mind. Promising yourself little perks as rewards for completion of tasks is one of them. Try it, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish. 

At the time, Grumpajoesplace was a blog about developing human potential. I dreamed of teaching people to learn how to visualize, how to prioritize, how to carry out goals. For a while, I did just that. I posted hints about how to set a goal, how to break things down into baby steps, and how to work on the right things. I spoke about defining High Payoff Activities. I quickly ran out of things to write about, but kept going anyway. Then, the campaign for the 2008 presidential election began. The campaign rhetoric reminded me of things I had heard before. It wasn’t like I heard the same old, same old stuff that politicians spew, it was a line of communist rhetoric cleverly disguised to intoxicate the masses. That is when this blog “transformed” into something different. I couldn’t just sit by and watch the country drink the Kool-Aid of communist socialist bull crap.

I am old enough to remember when Fidel Castro was a bright energetic freedom fighter who wanted nothing but to overthrow Batista the Cuban dictator. Fidel was charismatic, and a very good speaker. We all admired him and even the US Government became intoxicated on his rhetoric. Fidel managed to overthrow the dictator and run him out-of-town. Then he changed colors and turned Cuba into a communist socialist state overnight. He even stunned our government.

I listened to the speeches of Obama, but I heard the voice of Fidel Castro selling his socialist bullshit.

Now, we have a divided country too dumb to understand that Obama is a Muslim Socialist. They are too dumb to understand that they are selling their personal liberty for a welfare state, and they elected him a second time.

It is funny that my first post was about the IRS, I bad mouthed them in number one, and I’m not sorry I did. They are ruthless, evil union workers who extort “We the People” for every last nickel we owe. Why is it that the Tax Collectors are always considered bad guys in the Bible?

For a long time, I concentrated on the campaign exclusively, but I tired of it. That is when I sat down and brainstormed a new approach, I decided to mix up the blog-content by injecting my personal interests along with the Obama bashing. It became fun again. That is why I include stories about the silly Wabbits who eat my flowers under “Wabbit Wars,” and review books and movies. Since Peggy and I travel some, I post travel exploits and photos under the “Burning Gas” series, and I show off my passion for flower gardening with flower photos, usually under the “Monet Vision” series. I cannot forget the cartoons which allow me to exploit my artistic drive. More recently I have begun to include articles by other bloggers who share similar views and who write some pretty convincing articles. I thank them for allowing me to “reblog” their work.

Thanks to all my followers and readers who have faithfully supported me by reading my stuff. I intend to reach two thousand posts quicker than it did to get to one thousand (64 months).

The Return of Aga Bam-bi

The garden looked better this day than it had in a long time. A cover of dark grey clouds hovered over the 2013 Monet Vision, and a light mist of rain fell giving the new plants the drink they longed for. Grumpa Joe admired his work from the dry warm comfort of the sun-room. Coffee cup in hand he walked to the kitchen to survey the area between the pond and the border garden. A flurry of sparrows and finches fought for space on Grandma Peggy’s bird feeder. She had filled it in the morning and by now it was nearly empty. He looked down to assess the amount of feed falling to the ground under the feeder. There was a large round spot of bright yellow-tan seed directly under the feeder bowl. “I wonder if Peggy is spilling feed on the ground for the critters?”  Then he spotted the furry body of Aga Bam-bi. “He blends so well with the ground, I can’t believe I nearly missed him.”

Aga Bam-bi hunched on the ground at the edge of the seed circle. His nose twitching as he chewed the seed. His ears continuously turning and twisting in all directions listening for danger. Grumpa Joe lightly tapped the window with a fingernail. Aga Bam-bi froze.

He is bigger and fatter than Grumpa Joe remembered him from a year ago. He wondered where Aga Bam-bi was for the last twelve months. “He hasn’t found the petunias yet, that is good, but I’m sure he will,” muttered Grumpa under his breath.

Deep inside the briar patch within the wetland Ali Bug-Bunee sat in conference with his cell. A full year had passed since the cell expelled Aga Bam-bi. The cell had remained in sleeper status during that time.  The cell had been busy multiplying, and Ali faced a small crowd of cell members. Many of the newest members were still shedding their baby fur.

Ali began, “The Nature Spy Alliance(NSA) has informed me that Aga Bam-Bi found his way back to the garden. It is time to use Bam-Bi as a distraction while we execute our plan to devastate the petunias under the cover of darkness. Grumpa Joe does not know we are waiting to attack him. He will think it is Aga who is destroying his Vision. Put your ears at attention and repeat after me, “I solemnly swear to be active only in the darkness under the threat of being fed to the hawks.” They all fluffed their tails and wagged their ears in unison at the completion of the oath.

Petunias. Esperanto: Petunoj. Français : Pétun...

Petunias. Esperanto: Petunoj. Français : Pétunias. Русский: Петунии (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Grumpa Joe finished planting the last six petunia plants near the window where he spotted Aga two days ago. “I’m taking my chances with this critter, but he has stayed away from the feeder for a while, and I feel confident that he won’t eat them.” As Grumpa Joe patted the final plant into place, he spotted Aga in the far corner of the garden eating clover flowers.

Grumpa Joe slept in on Saturday and shuffled to the kitchen for his coffee. He raised the shade on the window and looked out at his fresh planting. “What the he. . .? Peg, come here. Look what that damn rabbit has done to the petunias I planted yesterday. He has eaten them to the ground.”

“Now, now dear, he is only a poor little creature who lives a very hard life in nature,” said Peggy.

“That’s it, I’m taking some serious action today.”

“What ‘ll you do?

“I’m building an IED.”

“You aren’t going to blow the poor thing up are you?”

“No, no, I meant an Improvised Entrapment Device(IED). I’ll catch him and take him for a ride.”

The striped squirrels working for the NSA were listening to Grumpa Joe from under the stoop. Chip made a mad dash across the patio and through the Cranesbill into the wetland to report to Ali.

“Excellent work Chip, you have done well. Grumpa Joe doesn’t suspect a thing. Aga will get the blame and we will fill our bellies with petunia flowers until they are all gone. If we are lucky, Joe will trap Aga with his IED and we will be rid of him too.”

to be continued. . .

Working In The Garden

Monet garden in Giverny, Eure, France

Monet garden in Giverny, Eure, France (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Recently, I have used other people’s work on this blog. My time in the garden takes its toll on me and the result is a lack of energy left to write. My Lions Club work suffers also. Here it is the third day of summer, and I am still planting annuals in the 2013 Monet Vision. Hopefully, the plants will have enough daylight to survive and thrive before the first killing frost.

Spring came late for me because I spent most of it in Arizona. When I finally did arrive home, the temperatures in Illinois were much the same as what I had in February. The temperature reached 100 on the day we left. After spending three months in tee shirts and shorts, I suddenly found myself looking for warmth. Another delay occurred because my sister-in-law suffered a stroke shortly after we returned. We spent a good bit of time visiting with her and were at her bedside when she passed. Before I knew it, June had arrived and established itself before I pulled a single weed, bought flowers and even considered getting into the garden.

All of that stuff is over now, and I attack the Monet Vision daily with vigor, which runs out in a few short hours. So when I read a news articles like a Zombie, and it appeals to me, I re-blog or link with a minimum of personal expression. Hopefully, I select topics that appeal to my followers.

Being in the garden gives me time to think and to set goals. My list suddenly becomes almost impossibly long, but I will  take the goals baby step, by baby step and get the important things done. The Monet Vision is at the top of the list, next is blogging, third is work on my novel, and forth is the workshop. Oh, I completely forgot, Peggy fits in there too, and I also have to squeeze in a few moments for physical fitness like walking and bike riding. No, wait, I need to find time to spend with family and friends too. I can’t neglect personal relationships for mundane things like the workshop, blogging, and physical fitness. After all, imbibing Winking Owl with my old fart buddies takes precedence over everything else including Peggy(please don’t rat on me by telling Peggy I said that), and the Monet Vision.

Yesterday, it rained and I watched a Wabbit under the eaves eating bird seed dropped from the feeder. He looked familiar to me, but larger than the last time I saw him. Yes, it is the same Wabbit, it is Aga Bambi, last seen eating Petunias from the 2012 Monet Vision. Not a problem anymore, I’ll call the IRS and ask them to send a FBI drone over to keep the garden under surveillance. If the drones spot any signs of terrorist activity, they can tell me to take positive action.

New Cartoonist Joins GJP

Budding young artist Cub Scout Ben has joined the staff at Grumpa Joe’s Place as a contributing artist. CS Ben has natural talent and wit that comes from living on a farm in Michigan. Ben regularly shovels horse manure as he helps his mom clean stalls  No doubt he will want to join the Wabbit Wars series as an embedded reporter chronicling the escapades of the terror network of Wabbits, cats, and squirrels infiltrating Grumpa Joe’s Monet Vision.

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