Swamp Wisdom

The new “Will Rogers”

 Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy graduated Magna cum Laude from
Vanderbilt, has a Law degree from University of Virginia and a degree
from Oxford in England. He is no country bumpkin; he is very
insightful and has a unique sense of humor.


 Comment about Cuomo lecturing us. “It is like a frog calling you
ugly.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
 
“This election in GA will be the most important in history, you
have nothing to worry about unless you are a taxpayer, parent, gun
owner, cop, person of faith, or an unborn baby!”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
 
Senator John Kennedy from Louisiana describes Democrats as
the “well intended arugula and tofu crowd.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
 
“You can only be young once, but you can always be immature.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Americans are thinking, there are some good members of
Congress, but we can’t figure out what they are good for. Others
are thinking, how did these morons make it through the birth
canal.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Always follow your heart…..but take your brains with you.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy


“The short answer is ‘No.’ The long answer is ‘Hell No.’”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“It must suck to be that dumb.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“When the Portland mayor’s IQ gets to 75, he oughta sell.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
“Go sell your crazy somewhere else…we are all stocked up here.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“She has a Billy goat brain and a mockingbird mouth!”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

Sen. John Kennedy (R., La.) said on Wednesday that he “trusted
Middle Eastern countries as much as gas station sushi, with the
exception being
Israel.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“You can get a goat to climb tree, but you’d be better off hiring a
squirrel.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“This has been going on since Moby Dick was a minnow.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
 
“Don’t stand between a dog and a fire hydrant.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Our country was founded by geniuses, but it’s being run by idiots”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
 
“It appears that he might do the right thing, but only when
supervised and cornered like a rat.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
 
“This is why aliens won’t talk to us.”
– Louisiana Sen John Kennedy

“Democrats are running around like they found a hair in their
biscuit.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Chuck Schumer just moo’s and follows Nancy Pelosi into the cow
chute.”

 

 

 



In God we trust

_Those who disrespect our flag were never handed a folded one._

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

210711-Believe it or Not!

“Florida Woman Stops 12 foot Alligator Attack Using a small .22 caliber Ruger Pistol.” 

Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit.  This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.

Here’s her story in her own words:  “While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in  T he Villages, Florida, discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water.    It began charging us with its large jaws wide open.   She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.  

“If I had not had my little Ruger 22 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today.  Just one shot to my estranged husband’s knee cap was all it took.  The alligator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.  The amount I saved in lawyer’s fees was truly incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus.”

COVID Puns

Read Carefully

1. ARBITRAITOR A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.
 
2. BERNADETTE The act of torching a mortgage.
 
3. BURGLARIZE What a crook sees through.

4. AVOIDABLE What a bullfighter tries to do.

5. COUNTERFEITER Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

6. LEFT BANK What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money

7. HEROES What a man in a boat does.

8. PARASITES What you see from the Eiffel Tower.

9. PARADOX Two physicians.

10. PHARMACIST A helper on a farm.

11. RELIEF What trees do in the spring.

12. RUBBERNECK What you do to relax your wife.
 
13. SELFISH What the owner of a seafood store does.

14. SUDAFED Brought litigation against a government official.

210611-PSA-Fun With Words

“Lexophile” describes those that have a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, “To write with a broken pencil is pointless.”

An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create
the best original lexophile.

This year’s submissions.

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club,
but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.

I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says
he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old
was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?
He’s all right now.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now
fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because
she couldn’t control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

It Is Time

This evening I spent some time reading blogs of fellow bloggers. One in particular got my juices flowing. The Blog is NUTSROK. Author Mary Beth a retired nurse who writes amusing stories about her family and friends. What I didn’t realize immediately that the last post I read was from 2020. When I see gaps […]

Two Words Not to Be Used Together

Exactly one week ago today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a terrible pain that stretched across my abdomen. Generally, it emanated from the left side. My habit is to sleep on my side and then to roll over onto my back. That roll did it. What? I don’t know but […]

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