No Truer Words

Just received from a friend and these are really great!

Think about this last one.

190710-Memes

I love all of them, but the last is my favorite.

Waxing Nostalgic

HOW’S THIS FOR NOSTALGIA?

It took three minutes for the TV to warm up
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Nobody owned a purebred dog
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When a quarter was a decent allowance? And made with real Silver!
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You’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny?  Made with real copper! Looking to see if it was a 1943 copper penny!

Your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces?

And the ad photo was considered risqué.

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You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, all for free, every time
And you didn’t pay for air And, you got trading stamps to boot

and gas was eighteen cents a gallon.
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Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box?

Not to mention Cracker Jacks!
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It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents. 

I treated my parents to their first restaurant meal at my college graduation. My Mom’s reaction? “I could have fed the family for the whole month for what you just paid for lunch.”
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They threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed…and they did it!

That was a sure cure for Attention Deficit Disorder.
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When a 57 Chevy was everyone’s dream car…
to cruise, peel out, lay rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady

It still is.

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No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the

ignition, and the doors were never locked?
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Definitely not recommended today. Nine out of ten cars stolen in Frankfort, IL are left unlocked in the drive with the keys in them.

Lying on your back in the grass with your friends and saying things like,

‘That cloud looks like a…’?
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Playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game?
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Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals because no one had

yet tried to poison a perfect stranger?
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And with all our progress, don’t you just wish, just once, you could slip back in time

and savor the slower pace, and share it with the children of today.
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When being sent to the principal’s office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited the

student at home?

Today, the neighbors will report you to DCFS for spanking your kid.
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Basically, we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn’t because of drive-by shootings,

drugs, gangs, etc Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat!

But we survived because their love was greater than the threat.
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as well as summers filled with bike rides, Hula hoops, and visits to the pool, and

eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar.
   
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Didn’t that feel good, just to go back and say,
‘Yeah, I remember that’?
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I am sharing this with you today because it ended with a Double Dog Dare to pass it on. To remember what a Double Dog Dare is, read on. And remember that the perfect age is somewhere between old enough to know better and too young to care.

Send this on to someone who can still remember Howdy Doody and The Peanut Gallery, the Lone Ranger, The Shadow knows, Nellie Bell , Roy and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk.
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Candy cigarettes
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Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside.
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Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles.
Coffee shops with Table Side Jukeboxes.
Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum.

Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers.
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Newsreels before the movie.
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Telephone numbers with a word prefix…( Yukon 2-601).   Or, some of us remember when there were just 4 numbers with no word prefix at all.  And, nearly everyone had a party line.

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Peashooters
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Hi-Fi’s & 45 RPM records.
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78 RPM records!
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S&H Green Stamps.
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Mimeograph paper.
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The Fort Apache Play Set.  
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Do You Remember a Time When…

Decisions were made by going ‘eeny-meeny-miney-moe’?  
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, ‘Do Over!’?  
‘Race issue’ meant arguing about who ran the fastest?  
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Catching The Fireflies Could Happily Occupy An Entire Evening?  
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It wasn’t odd to have two or three ‘Best Friends’?  
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Having a Weapon in School meant being caught with a Slingshot? 

Except it wasn’t a polished wood model like the one shown. It was home made out of a tree branch and a slice of rubber from a car inner tube.  
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Saturday morning cartoons weren’t 30-minute commercials for action figures?

‘Oly-oly-oxen-free’ made perfect sense?

Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?  
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The Worst Embarrassment was being picked last for a team?

Uniforms were for sissies.   
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War was a card game?

Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?  
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Taking drugs meant orange – flavored chewable aspirin?

Milligrams were still a European term.   
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Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?  
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If you can remember most or all of these, Then You Have Lived!!!!!!!  
   
Pass this on to anyone who may need a break

from their ‘Grown-Up’ Life.

I Double-Dog-Dare-Ya!

PSA-190705-Old Guy’s Stuff

A WISE MAN ONCE SAID NOTHING.
 
RESPECT YOUR ELDERS; THEY GRADUATED SCHOOL WITHOUT THE INTERNET.
 
WHY DO I HAVE TO PRESS  “1” FOR ENGLISH?  DID WE MOVE?
 
BEHIND EVERY ANGRY WOMAN STANDS A MAN WHO HAS ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT HE DID WRONG.
 
INSTEAD OF “SINGLE” AS A MARITAL STATUS I PREFER “INDEPENDENTLY OWNED AND OPERATED”.
 
PATIENCE:  WHAT YOU HAVE WHEN THERE ARE TOO MANY WITNESSES.
 
LET’S STOP SENDING  MONEY TO OTHER COUNTRIES AND LET THEM HATE US FOR FREE.
 
VEGETARIAN:  ANCIENT TRIBAL NAME FOR THE VILLAGE IDIOT WHO CAN’T HUNT, FISH, OR LIGHT FIRES!
 
I LOOK AT PEOPLE AND SOMETIMES THINK….”REALLY?  THAT’S THE SPERM THAT WON?”
 
IN MY DEFENCE I WAS LEFT UNSUPERVISED.
 
CAMPING:  WHERE YOU SPEND A SMALL FORTUNE TO LIVE LIKE A HOMELESS PERSON.
 
IF MY BODY IS EVER FOUND ON A JOGGING TRAIL JUST KNOW THAT I WAS MURDERED SOMEWHERE ELSE AND DUMPED THERE.
 
 
MY DECISION-MAKING SKILLS CLOSELY RESEMBLE THOSE OF A SQUIRREL WHEN CROSSING THE ROAD….

SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER LEFT UNSAID.  AND I USUALLY REALIZE IT RIGHT AFTER I SAY THEM.

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I Love Memes

Planning Ahead

A friend of mine recently posted on his Facebook page what I believe to be his own eulogy. I’ve known the man for thirty plus years and I know he is fighting cancer for the past ten. Later, another friend told me he is in hospice care.

With that in mind I am preparing for my own demise be it in the next five seconds or five decades, I think I have found the perfect tombstone inscription, except I would plagiarize the words and exchange the name and photo with mine. Let me know if you agree.

I Am Proud To Be An Old Fart

I never really liked the terminology “Old Farts” but this makes me feel better about it.
And if you ain’t one, I bet ya you know one!
I got this from an “Old Fart” friend of mine!
OLD FART PRIDE
I’m passing this on as I did not want to be the only old fart receiving it. Actually, it’s not a bad thing to be called, as you will see. Old Farts are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the National Anthem. Old Farts remove their caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment.  They know the words and believe in them.

Old Farts remember World War II, Pearl Harbour ,  Guadalcanal , Normandy  and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War, the Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus Peacekeeping Missions from 1945 to 2005, not to mention  Vietnam .

If you bump into an Old Fart on the sidewalk he will apologize. If you pass an Old Fart on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady. Old Farts trust strangers and are courtly to women.

Old Farts hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.

Old Farts get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and they don’t like any filth or dirty language on TV or in movies.

Old Farts have moral courage and personal integrity. They seldom brag unless it’s about their children or grandchildren.

It’s the Old Farts who know our great country is protected, not by politicians, but by the young men and women in the military serving their country.

This country needs Old Farts with their work ethic, sense of responsibility, pride in their country and decent values.

We need them now more than ever.

Thank God for Old Farts!

Pass this on to all the “Old Farts” you know.

I was taught to respect my elders.
It’s just getting harder to find them.
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