Can Trump Deliver on Mass Deportation?

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I hate to jump on the band wagon on Donald Trump’s rhetoric about sending illegals back to where they came from, but the subject is vital to the survival of the United States. Dealing with illegals is not new.  Three presidents before, Herbert C. Hoover, Harry S. Truman, and Dwight D. Eisenhower dealt with illegals from Mexico. None of these three signed laws that deported illegals, but their rhetoric was enough to cause a reverse migration to occur. Eisenhower, however, led Operation Wetback and deported two million illegals. It took several years, to carry out but he did it to nurse the USA back to normalcy after a prolonged war.

Whether or not Donald Trump can deliver on his promise to deport illegals remains in the future. History suggests that it can be done, but with great effort and cost. The question is whether the cost has a payback?

A friend sent me this article from the Denver Post. I looked it up, it is legitimate and unaltered.

WHAT IF THEY LEFT
Considering the Denver Post is a very liberal paper I’m surprised they published this. This shows how the hiring of illegals is false economic practice.

Tina Griego is a Free-Lance reporter for the Denver Post. She writes some really good stuff and she is a strong advocate for LEGAL immigration Homework on issues is part of her make-up and fabric.

What if they left? Somebody really did their homework on this one. Best on the subject to date. It does not have a political slant to it, JUST THE FACTS: Not Democratic, not Republican, not liberal and not conservative!

What if 20 Million Illegal Aliens Vacated America?
I, Tina Griego, journalist for the Denver Rocky Mountain News wrote a column titled, “Mexican Visitor’s Lament.” I interviewed Mexican journalist Evangelina Hernandez while visiting Denver last week. Hernandez said, “Illegal aliens pay rent, buy groceries, buy clothes. What happens to your country’s economy if 20 million people go away?”

Hmmm, I thought, what would happen? So I did my due diligence, buried my nose as a reporter into the FACTS I found below. It’s a good question… it deserves an honest answer.

Over 80% of Americans demand secured borders and illegal migration stopped. But what would happen if all 20 million or more vacated America? The answers I found may surprise you!

In California, if 3.5 million illegal aliens moved back to Mexico, it would leave an extra $10.2 billion to spend on overloaded school systems, bankrupt hospitals and overrun prisons. It would leave highways cleaner, safer and less congested. Everyone could understand one another as English became the dominant language again.

In Colorado, 500,000 illegal migrants, plus their 300,000 kids and grandchildren would move back “home,” mostly to Mexico. That would save Colorado an estimated $2 billion (other experts say $7 billion) annually in taxes that pay for schooling, medical, social-services and incarceration costs.
It means 12,000 gang members would vanish out of Denver alone.
Colorado would save more than $20 million in prison costs, and the terror that those 7,300 alien criminals set upon local citizens. Denver Officer Don Young and hundreds of Colorado victims would not have suffered death, accidents, rapes and other crimes by illegals.
Denver Public Schools would not suffer a 67% dropout/flunk rate because of thousands of illegal alien students speaking 41 different languages. At least200,000 vehicles would vanish from our gridlocked cities in Colorado. Denver’s 4% unemployment rate would vanish as our working poor would gain jobs at a living wage.

In Florida, 1.5 million illegals would return the Sunshine State back to America, the rule of law, and English.

In Chicago, Illinois, 2.1 million illegals would free up hospitals, schools, prisons and highways for a safer, cleaner and more crime-free experience.

If 20 million illegal aliens returned ‘home,’ the U.S. economy would return to the rule of law. Employers would hire legal American citizens at a living wage. Everyone would pay their fair share of taxes because they wouldn’t be working off the books. That would result in an additional $401 billion in IRS income taxes collected annually, and an equal amount for local, state and city coffers.

No more push ‘1’ for Spanish or ‘2’ for English. No more confusion in American schools that now must contend with over 100 languages that degrade the educational system for American kids. Our overcrowded schools would lose more than two million illegal alien kids at a cost of billions in ESL and free breakfasts and lunches.

We would lose 500,000 illegal criminal alien inmates at a cost of more than $1.6 billion annually. That includes 15,000 MS-13 gang members who distribute $130 billion in drugs annually would vacate our country.

In cities like L.A., 20,000 members of the ‘ 18th Street Gang’ would vanish from our nation. No more Mexican forgery gangs for ID theft from Americans! No more foreign rapists and child molesters!

Losing more than 20 million people would clear up our crowded highways and gridlock. Cleaner air and less drinking and driving American deaths by illegal aliens!

America’s economy is drained. Taxpayers are harmed. Employers get rich. Over $80 billion annually wouldn’t return to the aliens’ home countries by cash transfers. Illegal migrants earned half that money untaxed, which further drains America’s economy which currently suffers a $20 trillion debt. $20 trillion debt!!!

At least 400,000 anchor babies would not be born in our country, costing us $109 billion per year per cycle. At least 86 hospitals in California, Georgia and Florida would still be operating instead of being bankrupt out of existence because illegals pay nothing via the EMTOLA Act.

Americans wouldn’t suffer thousands of TB and hepatitis cases rampant in our country – brought in by illegals unscreened at our borders.

Our cities would see 20 million less people driving, polluting and grid locking our cities. It would also put the ‘progressives’ on the horns of a dilemma; illegal aliens and their families cause 11% of our greenhouse gases.

Over one million of Mexico’s poorest citizens now live inside and along our border from Brownsville, Texas, to San Diego, California, in what the New York Times called, ‘colonias’ or new neighborhoods. Trouble is, those living areas resemble Bombay and Calcutta where grinding poverty, filth, diseases, drugs, crimes, no sanitation and worse. They live without sewage, clean water, streets, roads, electricity, or any kind of sanitation.

The New York Times reported them to be America’s new ‘ Third World ‘ inside our own country. Within 20 years, at their current growth rate, they expect 20 million residents of those colonias. (I’ve seen them personally in Texas and Arizona; it’s sickening beyond anything you can imagine.)

By enforcing our laws, we could repatriate them back to Mexico. We should invite 20 million aliens to go home, fix their own countries and/or make a better life in Mexico. We already invite a million people into our country legally annually, more than all other countries combined. We cannot and must not allow anarchy at our borders, more anarchy within our borders and growing lawlessness at every level in our nation. It’s time to stand up for our country, our culture, our civilization and our way of life.

Interesting Statistics!

Here are 14 reasons illegal aliens should vacate America, and I hope they are forwarded over and over again until they are read so many times that the reader gets sick of reading them:

1. $14 billion to $22 billion dollars are spent each year on welfare to illegal aliens (that’s Billion with a ‘B’)

3. $7.5 billion dollars are spent each year on Medicaid for illegal aliens.

4. $12 billion dollars are spent each year on primary and secondary school education for children here illegally and they still cannot speak a word of English

5. $27 billion dollars are spent each year for education for the American-born children of illegal aliens, known as anchor babies.

6. $3 Million Dollars ‘PER DAY’ is spent to incarcerate illegal aliens. That’s $1.2 Billion a year.

7. 28% percent of all federal prison inmates are illegal aliens.

8. $190 billion dollars are spent each year on illegal aliens for welfare & social services by the American taxpayers. < http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANscriptS/0610/29/ldt.01.html >

9. $200 billion dollars per year in suppressed American wages are caused by the illegal aliens.

10. The illegal aliens in the United States have a crime rate that’s two and a half times that of white non-illegal aliens. In particular, their children are going to make a huge additional crime problem in the US.

11. During the year 2005, there were 8 to 10 MILLION illegal aliens that crossed our southern border with as many as 19,500 illegal aliens from other terrorist countries. Over 10,000 of those were middle-eastern terrorists. Millions of pounds of drugs, cocaine, meth, heroin, crack, guns, and marijuana crossed into the U.S. from the southern border.

12. The National Policy Institute, estimates that the total cost of mass deportation would be between $206 and $230 billion, or an average cost of between $41 and $46 billion annually over a five year period.
13. In 2006, illegal aliens sent home $65 BILLION in remittances back to their countries of origin, to their families and friends.

14. The dark side of illegal immigration: Nearly one million sex crimes are committed by illegal immigrants in the United States!
Total cost a whopping $538.3 BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR!http://www.denverpost.com/ci_15247891

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Excerpted from FactCheck.org.

The true history of presidential policy toward illegal immigration, and of deportations, is neither as simple nor as successful as claimed.
Hoover did not use immigration policy to “create jobs” and never “ordered the deportation of all illegal aliens.” During his four-year presidency, roughly 121,000 persons were officially deported or induced to leave through threat of deportation, according to our analysis of official statistics. (We explain our sources and analytical methods fully in the “Where We Got The Numbers” section below.)
Truman did not try to “create jobs for returning veterans” by ordering deportations. In fact, he signed legislation protecting the rights of Mexican migrant laborers recruited legally to help harvest U.S. crops, and was unable to win congressional approval of measures to crack down on employers of illegal immigrants. During his nearly eight years in office, about 3.4 million were deported or left “voluntarily” under threat of deportation.
Eisenhower did not deport 13 million Mexicans. Only one-tenth that number was ever claimed by the federal officials in charge of “Operation Wetback,” and even that figure is criticized as inflated by guesswork. Officially, just over 2.1 million were recorded as having been deported or having departed under threat of deportation.
Historian Mae M. Ngai calls the message “a most interesting distortion of history,” and our research backs that up. Ngai, now at Columbia University, told us that “none of these presidents presided over any general deportation campaign.”
So this e-mail’s claim that a president could “sure do it today” — that is, easily deport all the estimated 12 million illegal immigrants now in the U.S. — is a conclusion based on false evidence. No relocation effort nearly so large has ever been attempted, let alone accomplished “in two years” as this e-mail states.
Hoover
According to Marian Smith at the USCIS Office of the Historian: “There is no evidence that Herbert Hoover ordered the deportation of all illegal aliens.” And Matthew T. Schaefer, archivist at the Herbert Hoover Presidential Library in West Branch, Iowa, told us in an e-mail message: “President Hoover never issued a statement, executive order or proclamation ordering the deportation of all illegal immigrants.”
Hoover took office in 1929, when the very concept of “illegal immigration” was fairly new. For most of its previous history, the U.S. had encouraged immigration and threw up few legal barriers. The first permanent quotas on immigration had been put in place by the Immigration Act of 1924. And even that law did not apply to Mexico, or to any other country in the Western Hemisphere, because the U.S. didn’t want to alienate its neighbors, and needed Mexican laborers to help with the harvest. It did completely exclude immigrants from Asia, however, and set limits on immigration from Europe.
The Hoover administration, then as now, struggled to enforce the law. His labor secretaries worked to deport criminal illegal immigrants and public charges. (The Immigration and Naturalization Service, predecessor to the present-day USCIS, was in the Department of Labor at the time.) But official statistics show that the total number of formal deportations was less than 72,000 during Hoover’s time in office, plus another roughly 49,000 who were recorded as having left “voluntarily” rather than face official deportation proceedings. As nearly as we can gauge from the official record, 121,067 persons were deported or induced to leave during Hoover’s four-year term.

Where We Got The Numbers

We drew these figures from official statistics published by the INS for each fiscal year. The Hoover figures are drawn from table 24A on page 179 of the “Annual Report of the Immigration and Naturalization Service” for fiscal year 1952. The historical table details numbers of “Aliens Deported and Aliens Departing Voluntarily Under Proceedings; Years ended June 30, 1892 to 1952.”

The fiscal-year figures don’t match Hoover’s term exactly, because fiscal years ended on June 30 in those years, and Hoover served from March 4, 1929, to March 4, 1933. So we added together totals for fiscal years 1930 through 1932 — the full fiscal years that fell entirely within Hoover’s term, plus pro-rated portions of fiscal year 1929 and 1933. For example, since Hoover was in office for 118 days of fiscal year 1929, we assigned to him 32.3 percent of the fiscal year totals.

For Truman and Eisenhower, we used the corresponding table (Table 23, page 55) from the INS annual report for 1961. We followed the same method for each to pro-rate figures for partial fiscal years. In the latter document “voluntary” departures are described instead as “Aliens required to depart,” a somewhat more accurate term.

The ‘Mexican Repatriation’
It’s true that the years of the Great Depression saw an exodus of many persons of Mexican heritage — including some who were U.S. citizens. A report in USA Today, published in 2006, stated: “Tens of thousands, and possibly more than 400,000, Mexicans and Mexican-Americans were pressured — through raids and job denials — to leave the USA during the Depression.” That report echos the findings of a 2006 book, “Decade of betrayal: Mexican repatriation in the 1930s,” by Francisco E. Balderrama and Raymond Rodríguez. Those authors described “a frenzy of anti-Mexican hysteria” that included “mass deportation roundups and repatriation drives.”
It is also true that federal immigration officials sometimes used legally dubious tactics in those days. A report to the 1931 Wickersham Commission, taking note of some “objectionable features” of the deportation system, described immigration officials “forcibly detaining groups of people many of whom are aliens lawfully in this country, or even United States citizens, without any warrant of arrest or search.” The report added: “It is often customary for the immigrant inspectors to jail suspects, however apprehended, without a warrant of arrest or any other kind of a warrant.” And it concluded, “The apprehension and examination of supposed aliens are often characterized by methods unconstitutional, tyrannic, and oppressive.”
But it should be noted that it was Hoover who appointed the commission that brought these abuses to light, and that the descriptions of a “Mexican repatriation” during the Depression don’t put the blame exclusively, or even predominately, on federal officials. They also cite actions by state and local officials, “job denials” by private employers, and pressure by labor unions. In fact, historian Ngai told us in an e-mail message that Mexicans who were sent back “were repatriated by local city and county welfare authorities (e.g. Los Angeles, Detroit), not the federal government.”
Hoover archivist Schaefer backed that up in his message to us, saying that Hoover himself did not push for deportation:
Hoover archivist Schaefer: The push for deportation arose locally. Los Angeles and California are probably the best known cases. LA paid transportation costs to ‘encourage’ ‘voluntary repatriation’ succeeding in sending tens of thousands of people back to Mexico in 1930 and 1931.

Hoover thought the very idea of restricting immigration from Mexico was futile, Schaefer said. “Hoover saw quotas for immigrants from the Western Hemisphere as unenforceable, so he opposed efforts to secure such quotas.”
Truman
The claim about Truman is also not supported by the historical record. According to Tammy Kelly, archivist at the Harry S. Truman Presidential Library and Museum in Independence, Mo.: “We have not found evidence that President Truman deported over two million illegal immigrants to create jobs for Americans.”
Truman struggled with the problem of migrant farm workers — both legal and illegal. On June 3, 1950, he set up a Presidential Commission on Migratory Labor and asked it to look into (among other things) “the extent of illegal migration of foreign workers into the United States” and whether laws could be “strengthened and improved to eliminate such illegal migration.” The commission ultimately recommended that the country should rely primarily on domestic farm workers, not immigrants, to perform farm labor. On July 13, 1951, Truman approved legislation to facilitate the employment of legal migrants to harvest U.S. crops, but also expressed a desire to reduce illegal immigration from Mexico and said additional measures were needed. “These people are coming to our country in phenomenal numbers – and at an increasing rate,” Truman said. “Everyone suffers from the presence of these illegal immigrants in the community.”
But the legislation Truman signed had to do with keeping legal guest workers flowing across the border to harvest U.S. crops. According to Truman archivist Kelly, the new legislation established reception centers to house temporarily legal immigrants from Mexico while the government found employment for them. Truman said in signing it, “We must make sure that contract wages will in fact be paid, that transportation within this country and adequate reception centers for Mexican workers will in fact be provided.” He said it was necessary that the U.S. government “stand behind all contracts and guarantee performance in the future, if any more Mexican citizens are to be legally recruited for work in the United States.”
It’s true that many were deported or induced to return “voluntarily” during the Truman years. We figure, based on the official historical tables, that more than 127,000 were formally deported and more than 3.2 million left voluntarily rather than face deportation — a total of nearly 3.4 million.
But the deportations and quasi-voluntary departures had nothing to do with creating jobs for returning veterans, as claimed in the chain e-mail. As Truman noted in a news conference on Oct. 3, 1946, most returning WWII veterans were quickly absorbed into the booming postwar economy. “Ten million veterans are gainfully employed today, compared with only 2 million at work on V-J Day–a gain of 8 million jobs for veterans in a year,” Truman boasted. He said 900,000 veterans remained unemployed, and that “is still higher than any of us like to see it.” But he drew no connection with illegal immigration.
Truman actually wanted to do more than he was able to stem illegal immigration. He said the bill he signed didn’t go far enough. He said he would ask Congress for stricter sanctions against employers who harbor illegal aliens, and would also seek clear authority for INS inspectors to raid workplaces without search warrants. “Congress did not pass the legislation Truman wanted, however, and the illegal immigration problem was passed onto future generations,” Kelly stated to us via e-mail.
Eisenhower
Truman’s successor pushed harder, presiding over what was officially called “Operation Wetback,” a vigorous, federally led effort to remove illegal Mexican immigrants from the Southwest. (The term “wetback” is a disparaging term applied to Mexicans who swam or waded across the Rio Grande River — and today is considered an ethnic slur.)
But it’s simply not true that “Eisenhower deported 13 million.” The actual number expelled by “Operation Wetback” is no more than one-tenth of that figure, even counting many who were not formally deported at all. “The claim that Eisenhower deported 13 million immigrants must be the result of a typo or some other error,” USCIS historian Smith told us. Since the officially claimed figure was 1.3 million, it is possible that the e-mail’s author simply dropped a decimal point, inflating the figure ten-fold.
The “Handbook of Texas,” sponsored by the Texas State Historical Association, says in its entry on “Operation Wetback” that the number forced to leave is “probably less than 1.3 million”:
Handbook of Texas: The INS claimed as many as 1,300,000, though the number officially apprehended did not come anywhere near this total. The INS estimate rested on the claim that most aliens, fearing apprehension by the government, had voluntarily repatriated themselves before and during the operation. … Many commentators have considered these figure[s] to be exaggerated.

We also contacted the Dwight D. Eisenhower Presidential Library and Museum in Abilene, Kansas. Director Karl Weissenbach told us his staff had researched the library’s holdings to determine the veracity of the 13 million claim and could find nothing to support it. Indeed, the staff turned up a report to Cabinet dated Jan. 26, 1955, that suggests a much lower total:
Report to the Cabinet, Jan. 26, 1955: [A] year ago the Border Patrol was faced with the disheartening task of apprenhending and expelling some 3,000 ‘wetbacks’ each day, apprehensions now are running slightly less than 300 daily.

“Operation Wetback” lasted only a few months. It was announced June 9, 1954, and focused initially on California and Arizona. According to the 1954 Annual Report of the Immigration and Naturalization Service, (page 31) federal officials set up roadblocks and stopped trains at points at some distance north of the border. Some 800 Border Patrol agents, using jeeps, trucks, automobiles and spotter airplanes, used a system described officially as “blocking it off and mopping it up.” Agents quickly expanded the operation to the entire state of California, including industrial areas as well as agricultural areas. By mid-July, 1954, the operation was extended to Texas. And it eventually encompassed “mopping up” activities in northern cities as well, according to the 1955 Annual Report of the Immigration and Naturalization Service:
INS, 1955: These activities were followed by mopping up operations in the interior and special mobile force units are continuing to discover illegal aliens who have eluded initial sweeps through such cities as Spokane, Chicago, Kansas City and St. Louis, which removed 20,174 illegal Mexican aliens from industrial jobs.

Mexican nationals were shipped back using trucks, buses, planes and ships. According to the Texas State Historical Society, the use of ships was discontinued after some drownings caused a public outcry in Mexico.
Handbook of Texas: Ships were a preferred mode of transport because they carried the illegal workers farther away from the border than did buses, trucks, or trains. The boat lift continued until the drowning of seven deportees who jumped ship from the Mercurio provoked a mutiny and led to a public outcry against the practice in Mexico. Other aliens, particularly those apprehended in the Midwest states, were flown to Brownsville and sent into Mexico from there.

The ‘Problem No Longer Exists’
As we said, the operation lasted only a few months, not the “two years” claimed in the e-mail message. “The operation trailed off in the fall of 1954 as INS funding began to run out,” according to the Texas State Historical Society. Nevertheless, INS officials later claimed the operation had been a complete success and that the U.S.-Mexico border “has been secured.”
INS, 1955: The so-called ‘wetback’ problem no longer exists. … [T]his is no longer, as in the past, a problem in border control. The border has been secured.

More than half a century later, history has shown that official claim to be a fantasy, just like nearly all the claims made by this chain e-mail. In fact, about the only true statement in it is that “we never hear about” the events it describes. That’s because they never happened.
— Brooks Jackson
Sources

U.S. Department of Justice, “Annual Report of the Immigration and Naturalization Service” Table 24A. “Aliens Deported and Aliens Departing Voluntarily Under Proceedings; Years ended June 30, 1892 to 1952.” 10 Nov 1952.
U.S. Department of Justice, “Annual Report of the Immigration and Naturalization Service” Table 23. “Aliens Apprehended, Aliens Deported, and Aliens Required to Depart; Years ended June 30, 1892 to 1961” 1961.
Koch, Wendy, “U.S. urged to apologize for 1930s deportations” USA Today. 5 Apr 2006.
Balderrama, Francisco E.and Raymond Rodríguez, “Decade of betrayal: Mexican repatriation in the 1930s” University of New Mexico Press. 2006.
Oppenheimer, Reuben “The Administration of the Deportation Laws of the United States; Report to the National Commission on Law Observance and Enforcement” (Wickersham Commission) U.S. Government Printing Office. 1931.
Koestler, Fred L. “Operation Wetback” Handbook of Texas Online, Texas State Historical Association Undated, accessed 30 Jun 2010.
Ngai, Mae M. Email message to FactCheck.org. 22 Jun 2010.
Weissenbach, Karl. Director, Dwight D. Eisenhower Presidential Library and Museum. Email message to FactCheck.org, 11 Jun 2010.
Schaefer, Matthew T. Archivist, Herbert Hoover Presidential Library. Email message to FactCheck.org, 11 Jun 2010.
Kelly, Tammy. Archivist, Harry S. Truman Presidential Library and Museum. Email message to FactCheck.org, 11 Jun 2010.
Smith, Marian, Historian, U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, Department of Homeland Security. Email message to FactCheck.org, 25 Jun 2010.

Apple Going the Way of Microsoft

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My experience with personal computers goes back to a machine called the Sinclair. I bought it mail order through Popular Science magazine for seventy dollars as a kit. Needless to say there were no programs written for it, and I had to learn to program in basic to make it do what I wanted. It was fun for a while. I learned that I was lousy at programming, and it was easier to buy canned programs to do work. The company I worked for was slow to get into PC’s, but eventually succumbed to the revolution. They went through several generations of machines before finally settling on the IBM. The logic was that IBM would stay in business longer than any of their competitors. We had a few Apple Macintosh but they fell out of favor because of the limited software availability. Everyone was writing software for the PC. Microsoft won big by providing the operating system, and they are still big.

I bought a used Apple IIe for my son to learn on, and he did well using that. I bought a Dell machine for myself long after the company put one on my desk and forced me into using it. I say forced because I had to learn how a spreadsheet program worked, and the peculiarities of the word processor. Skip to today. I am proficient in Microsoft Word, Word Perfect, and finally forced myself to learn Apple Pages. They all do about the same thing except they shuffle the windows and the menus thus forcing a user to learn where everything is. I climbed onto the Pages wagon when I became an Applephite. I own a Mac, a Macbook, and a smart phone. I still have two old Dell laptops for special work only. I have an ancient scanner whose software is only recognized by my oldest laptop.

It took me several years to learn how to use mail merge using Word. I loved it because I could finally send personalized letters to my friends without the letters appearing like form letter ads. The biggest problem I always had with my PC’s was the machine could not keep up with the software. A new version of software often worked well only on the newest largest memory machine. Freeze-up was another problem. My Dell machines froze too often, and unwanted malware caused endless slowdowns. It seemed like all I ever did was spend time waiting, or fixing problems related to security leaks in the operating system. Microsoft sent updates almost daily. Many times when I updated my older programs, they were no longer functional, and fighting viruses became the number one issue requiring my time.

When I switched to the Apple, I chose to avoid firewalls and virus protector programs. My days spent fixing Microsoft related issues were over. The IMac has been in my house for four years, and I have never had a virus. Only recently have I had to reboot the machine. Since the arrival of ICloud, I find myself rebooting more often.

Last Christmas, I wanted to use Pages to make my own Christmas card, and to address envelopes. That is until I realized that Pages no longer has a merge function for envelopes. Evidently Apple believes that the world no longer needs Snail Mail functionality. I worked around the problem by reloading an old version of Pages that still had the mail merge function. This year, I used Microsoft Word. It still works.

More recently, I contracted with my grand-daughter to edit the manuscript of my book. She asked me which program I wanted her to use. I told her that Pages is what I used, and Pages is what it should stay in. She sent me edits in groups of five chapters via email five times and they have been flawless. On the sixth group of chapters I could not open the file. I replied to her that she should resend it because I couldn’t open the manuscript(required index.xml file is missing). She did, the same thing happened. I suspected a snake in the woodpile, and Googled the error code; here is what I found:

Reply Helpfulby PeterBreis0807 on Mar 29, 2014 8:54 PM
You have 2 versions of Pages on your Mac.

Pages 5 is in your Applications folder.

Pages ’09/’08 is in your Applications/iWork folder.

You are alternately opening the wrong versions.

Pages ’09/’08 can not open Pages 5 files and you will get the warning that you need a newer version.

Pages 5/5.01 can not open Pages 5.1 files and you will get the warning that you need a newer version.

Pages 5.1 sometimes can not open its own files and you will get the warning that you need a newer version.

Pages 5 can open Pages ’09 files but may damage/alter them. It can not open Pages ’08 files at all.

Once opened and saved in Pages 5 the Pages ’09 files can not be opened in Pages ’09.

Anything that is saved to iCloud is also converted to Pages 5 files.

All Pages files no matter what version and incompatibility have the same extension .pages.

Pages 5 files are now only compatible with themselves on a very restricted set of hardware, software and Operating Systems and will not transfer correctly on any other server software than iCloud.

Apple has not only managed to confuse all its users, but also itself.

Note: Apple has removed over 100 features from Pages 5 and added many bugs:

http://www.freeforum101.com/iworktipsntrick/viewforum.php?f=22&sid=3527487677f0c6fa05b6297cd00f8eb9&mforum=iworktipsntrick

Archive/trash Pages 5, after exporting all Pages 5 files to Pages ’09 or Word .docx, and rate/review it in the App Store, then get back to work.

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I searched my Pages work file for a clue and found the file my Grand-daughter sent. I opened it and it worked. What happened? I looked for my older version of Pages in the Applications file, it is not there anymore. Who made it disappear? Like I said there is a snake in the woodpile.

Apple made a change to Pages without regard to a customer’s usage. In their infinite wisdom to force an electronic vision upon us they created a Microsoft like need for updates. I guess staying ahead of your competition is no longer considered a good thing at Apple, instead they want worms just like their competitors.

Apple has the similar problems with IPhoto, and IMovie. They insist on making their pc’s act like the IPhone.

Humorous Potpourri

1.

Once upon a time in medieval ages there was a king who wanted to go fishing. He called the royal weather forecaster, a very important position, and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours.

The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days. So, the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On
the way he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer said, “Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once because in just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area.”

The king was polite and considerate. He replied: “I hold the palace meteorologist in the highest regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional. Besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him and I will continue on my way.” So he continued on his way.

However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition.

Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the weatherman at once! Then, he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster.

The farmer said, “Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey’s ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain.”

So the king hired the donkey. Thus began the practice of hiring asses to work in the government and occupy its highest and most influential positions.
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2.
Fox News Bows to the President

Fox News is cowering down to the President…..

In response to President Obama’s complaint that FOX News doesn’t show enough Black and Hispanic people on their network,

FOX has announced that they will now air “America’s Most Wanted” TWICE a week.
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3.
If you think you have trouble understanding young kids today read this piece and remember how your parents reacted to your manner of speech.

WORDS AND PHRASES REMIND US OF THE WAY WE WORD.
Richard Lederer

About a month ago, I illuminated some old expressions that have become obsolete because of the inexorable march of technology. These phrases included “Don’t touch that dial,” “Carbon copy,” “You sound like a broken record” and “Hung out to dry.” A bevy of readers have asked me to shine light on more faded words and expressions, and I am happy to oblige:

Back in the olden days we had a lot of moxie. We’d put on our best bib and tucker and straighten up and fly right. Hubba-hubba! We’d cut a rug in some juke joint and then go necking and petting and smooching and spooning and billing and cooing and pitching woo in hot rods and jalopies in some passion pit or lovers’ lane. Heavens to Betsy! Gee whillikers! Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat! Holy moley! We were in like Flynn and living the life of Riley, and even a regular guy couldn’t accuse us of being a knucklehead, a nincompoop or a pill. Not for all the tea in China!

Back in the olden days, life used to be swell, but when’s the last time anything was swell? Swell has gone the way of beehives, pageboys and the D.A.; of spats, knickers, fedoras, poodle skirts, saddle shoes and pedal pushers. Oh, my aching back. Kilroy was here, but he isn’t anymore.

Like Washington Irving’s Rip Van Winkle and Kurt Vonnegut’s Billy Pilgrim, we have become unstuck in time. We wake up from what surely has been just a short nap, and before we can say, “I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!” or “This is a fine kettle of fish!” we discover that the words we grew up with, the words that seemed omnipresent as oxygen, have vanished with scarcely a notice from our tongues and our pens and our keyboards.

Poof, poof, poof go the words of our youth, the words we’ve left behind. We blink, and they’re gone, evanesced from the landscape and wordscape of our perception, like Mickey Mouse wristwatches, hula hoops, skate keys, candy cigarettes, little wax bottles of colored sugar water and an organ grinder’s monkey.

Where have all those phrases gone? Long time passing. Where have all those phrases gone?

Long time ago:

Pshaw. The milkman did it. Think about the starving Armenians. Bigger than a bread box. Banned in Boston . The very idea! It’s your nickel. Don’t forget to pull the chain. Knee high to a grasshopper. Turn-of-the-century. Iron curtain. Domino theory. Fail safe. Civil defense. Fiddlesticks! You look like the wreck of the Hesperus. Cooties. Going like sixty. I’ll see you in the funny papers. Don’t take any wooden nickels. Heavens to Murgatroyd!  Awa-a-ay we go!  Cat’s pajamas.  And so’s your old man.

Oh, my stars and garters! It turns out there are more of these lost words and expressions than Carter had liver pills.  This can be disturbing stuff, this winking out of the words of our youth, these words that lodge in our heart’s deep core. But just as one never steps into the same river twice, one cannot step into the same language twice. Even as one enters, words are swept downstream into the past, forever making a different river.

We of a certain age have been blessed to live in changing times. For a child each new word is like a shiny toy, a toy that has no age. We at the other end of the chronological arc have the advantage of remembering there are words that once did not exist and there were words that once strutted their hour upon the earthly stage and now are heard no more, except in our collective memory. It’s one of the greatest advantages of aging. We can have archaic and eat it, too.

See ‘ya later, alligator!
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4.
‘The Middle Wife’
(by an anonymous second-grade teacher)

I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,
but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade
classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few
sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually,
show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes,
pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any
boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school
and talk about it, they’re welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,
takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow
stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. “This is Luke, my baby brother,
and I’m going to tell you about his birthday.

“First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then
Dad put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate
for nine months through an umbrella cord.”

She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to
laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching
her in amazement.

“Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts going, ‘Oh, Oh, Oh!'”
Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. “She walked around the
house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!'” (Now this kid is doing a hysterical
duck walk and groaning.)

“My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t
have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my Mom to lie
down in bed like this.” (Then Erica lies down with her back against the
wall.)

“And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case
he got thirsty, and it blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!”
(This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing
away. It was too much!)

“Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push, push,’ and ‘breathe, breathe.’

“They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden,
out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it
was from Mom’s play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.
When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there in
the first place.”

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.

I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it’s show-and-tell
day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ‘Middle Wife’ comes along.
Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone laugh.
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5.

Barnyard Tale:  A Current spin on an old tale, “The Little Red Hen.”

“Who will help me plant my wheat?” asked the little red hen.
“Not I,” said the cow.
“Not I,” said the duck.
“Not I,” said the pig.
“Not I,” said the goose.
“Then I will do it by myself.” She planted her crop and the wheat grew and ripened.

“Who will help me reap my wheat?” asked the little red hen.
“Not I,” said the duck.
“Out of my classification,” said the pig.
“I’d lose my seniority,” said the cow.
“I’d lose my unemployment compensation,” said the goose.
“Then I will do it by myself,” said the little red hen, and so she did.

“Who will help me bake the bread?” asked the little red hen.
“That would be overtime for me,” said the cow.
“I’d lose my welfare benefits,” said the duck.
“I’m a dropout and never learned how,” said the pig.
“If I’m to be the only helper, that’s discrimination,” said the goose.
“Then I will do it by myself,” said the little red hen.

She baked five loaves and the wonderful aroma filled the land, all of her neighbors couldn’t help but enjoy the fragrance.
They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share but the little red hen said, “No, I have worked hard on all five loaves, and I will freeze what I don’t eat.”

“Excess profits!” cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)
“Capitalist leech!” screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)
“I demand equal rights!” yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)
The pig just grunted in disdain. (Harry Reid)
And they all painted ‘Unfair!’ picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.

Then the farmer (Obama) came. He said to the little red hen, “You must not be so greedy.”
“But I worked and earned the bread,” said the little red hen.

“Exactly,” said Barack the farmer. “That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are not working and idle.”

And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked,
“I am grateful, for now I truly understand.”

But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her since she never again baked bread because she joined the ‘party’ and got her bread free.
‘Fairness’ had been established.
Individual initiative had died but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared, so long as there was free bread that ‘the rich’ were paying for.

EPILOGUE
Bill Clinton gets $12 million for his memoirs. Hillary gets $8 million for hers.
That’s $20 million for the memories of two people, who for eight years repeatedly testified under oath that they couldn’t remember anything…and one is now running for President!!!

IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT?
********************

6.
Hospital Pricing

In the hospital, the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family member lay, gravely ill.   Finally, a doctor came in, looking tired & somber.
“I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news,” he said, as he surveyed the worried faces. “The only hope left for your loved one, at this time, is a brain transplant. It’s an experimental procedure, very risky, but, it’s the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but, you’ll have to pay for the BRAIN.”

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a
time, someone asked, “How much will a brain cost?”

The doctor quickly responded, “$5,000 for a Democrat’s brain;
$200 for a Republican’s brain.”

The moment turned awkward. Some of the Democrats actually had to ‘try’ to not smile, avoiding eye contact with the Republicans. A man unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, “Why is the Democrat’s brain so much more than a Republican’s brain?”

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence, & explained to the entire group, “It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the Republicans’ brains a lot lower, because they’re used.”
***************************

7.
Daniel Snyder, owner of the NFL Washington Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping the word “Washington” from the team name and it will henceforth be simply known as……
“The  Redskins”

It was reported that he finds the word ‘Washington’ imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheating, lying and is not a fitting role model for young fans of football.

***********************************************

8.
To all who appreciate tools and to those of us who don’t!

You only have had to use a couple of these tools to appreciate this one.

SKIL SAW:
A portable cutting tool used to make boards too short.

BELT SANDER:
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

WIRE WHEEL:
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, ‘Oh shit’. Will easily wind a tee shirt off your back.

DRILL PRESS:
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

Channel Locks:
Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of
blood-blisters.

HACKSAW:
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It
transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS:
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH:
Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop and creating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW:
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. Very effective for digit removal!!

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW:
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut large pieces into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge. Also excels at
amputations.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:
A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the crap you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:
Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:
A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR:
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

PVC PIPE CUTTER:
A tool used to make plastic pipe too short.

HAMMER:
Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent to the object you are trying to hit. Also very effective at fingernail removal.

UTILITY KNIFE:
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered
to your front door. Works particularly well on contents such as seats,
vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund
checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work
clothes, but only while in use. These can also be used to initiate a trip
to the emergency room so a doctor can sew up the damage.

SON OF A BITCH TOOL:
Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling ‘Son of a bitch’ at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
***********************************
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9.

ATT00001-2

A Can Of Worms Is A Can of Worms

0294

The dialogue below is most likely already happening in county marriage license departments country wide.
.
“Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license.”

“Names?”, said the clerk.

“Tim and Jim Jones.”

“Jones?? Are you related?? I see a resemblance.”

“Yes, we’re brothers.”

“Brothers?? You can’t get married.”

“Why not?? Aren’t you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?”

“Yes, thousands. But we haven’t had any siblings. That’s incest!”

“Incest?” No, we are not gay.”

“Not gay?? Then why do you want to get married?”

“For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don’t have any other prospects.”

“But we’re issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who’ve claim they’d been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman.”

“Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim.”

“And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?”

“All right, all right. I’ll give you your license. Next.”

“Hi. We are here to get married.”

“Names?”

“John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson.”

“Who wants to marry whom?”

“We all want to marry each other.”

“But there are four of you!”

“That’s right. You see, we’re all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship.”

“But we’ve only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples.”

“So you’re discriminating against bisexuals!”

“No, it’s just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that
it’s just for couples.”

“Since when are you standing on tradition?”

“Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere.”

“Who says?? There’s no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!”

“All right, all right. Next.”

“Hello, I’d like a marriage license.”

“In what names?”

“David Anderson.”

“And the other man?”

“That’s all. I want to marry myself.”

“Marry yourself?? What do you mean?”

“Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return.”

“That does it!? I quit!!? You people are making a mockery of marriage!!”————

…Don’t laugh, it’s just a matter of time.

Hero Marine Becomes the Victim of A Corrupt Government – Ours

This guy is in trouble for a single e-mail while our ex-Secretary of State dismisses her role in disregarding laws requiring the use of government e-mail accounts and equipment.