And Now You Know

Image representing Al Gore as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

Thanks Rich, for this amazing story of the world’s greatest invention.
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How the internet started
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.And Dot Com was a comely woman, Large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often
called Amazon Dot Com.And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods
when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?”And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said,
“How, dear?”

And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you
have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and
delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.   And the drums rang out
and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all  the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to
move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that
only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed
a language to transmit ideas and pictures – Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were
called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed
that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every
drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates’
drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.”

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known.


He said, “We need a name that reflects what we are.”
And Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”
“YAHOO,” said Abraham.And because it was Dot’s idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.Abraham’s cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon
started using Dot’s drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God’s Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began.

And that’s the truth.

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I wonder if Al Gore knows this.

A Golden Nugget

Once in a while life hands you a golden nugget. Last Sunday, Peg and I were at the Frankfort Farmer’s Market when the nugget appeared as a kid riding a pedal tractor down a painted track. We went right to it. The Will County Farm Bureau was there with a kiddie tractor-pull competition. They hitched a replica weight sled to a red Farmall pedal-car tractor, and joined fifty feet of 4×8 plywood sheets to make the track.  The big boys from the Farm Bureau did a great job of announcing the event. They rewarded each kid with a  ribbon and a prize to the winner. One thing I learned is that kids with short legs had an advantage. The tractor was a bit small for long-legged kids who couldn’t extend their legs into full stoke on the pedals.  Another thing became obvious, that is, the amount of weight placed on the sled makes a huge difference in the amount of effort required to pull it.

 

I watched the event to the end. Attending a local tractor-pull is on my bucket list of things to do. I’m not sure the kiddie pull qualifies as having seen one though. The kids did their best and I loved seeing them compete, it reminded me of all the days and events I ran for kids during the Boy Scout era of my life.

If you are not familiar with tractor pulling, here is a video of a highly modified tractor in a German big boys competition.

Working In The Garden

Monet garden in Giverny, Eure, France

Monet garden in Giverny, Eure, France (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Recently, I have used other people’s work on this blog. My time in the garden takes its toll on me and the result is a lack of energy left to write. My Lions Club work suffers also. Here it is the third day of summer, and I am still planting annuals in the 2013 Monet Vision. Hopefully, the plants will have enough daylight to survive and thrive before the first killing frost.

Spring came late for me because I spent most of it in Arizona. When I finally did arrive home, the temperatures in Illinois were much the same as what I had in February. The temperature reached 100 on the day we left. After spending three months in tee shirts and shorts, I suddenly found myself looking for warmth. Another delay occurred because my sister-in-law suffered a stroke shortly after we returned. We spent a good bit of time visiting with her and were at her bedside when she passed. Before I knew it, June had arrived and established itself before I pulled a single weed, bought flowers and even considered getting into the garden.

All of that stuff is over now, and I attack the Monet Vision daily with vigor, which runs out in a few short hours. So when I read a news articles like a Zombie, and it appeals to me, I re-blog or link with a minimum of personal expression. Hopefully, I select topics that appeal to my followers.

Being in the garden gives me time to think and to set goals. My list suddenly becomes almost impossibly long, but I will  take the goals baby step, by baby step and get the important things done. The Monet Vision is at the top of the list, next is blogging, third is work on my novel, and forth is the workshop. Oh, I completely forgot, Peggy fits in there too, and I also have to squeeze in a few moments for physical fitness like walking and bike riding. No, wait, I need to find time to spend with family and friends too. I can’t neglect personal relationships for mundane things like the workshop, blogging, and physical fitness. After all, imbibing Winking Owl with my old fart buddies takes precedence over everything else including Peggy(please don’t rat on me by telling Peggy I said that), and the Monet Vision.

Yesterday, it rained and I watched a Wabbit under the eaves eating bird seed dropped from the feeder. He looked familiar to me, but larger than the last time I saw him. Yes, it is the same Wabbit, it is Aga Bambi, last seen eating Petunias from the 2012 Monet Vision. Not a problem anymore, I’ll call the IRS and ask them to send a FBI drone over to keep the garden under surveillance. If the drones spot any signs of terrorist activity, they can tell me to take positive action.

What is Sovereignty Anyway?

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Unbelievable Senate Vote.

 

Please be sure all your friends in every State see these names. The vote and the bill is a matter of public record.

Over the June 1, 2013 weekend, we came four votes away from the United States Senate giving our Constitutional rights over to the United Nations. In a 53-46 vote, the senate narrowly passed a measure that will stop the United States from entering into the United Nations Arms Trade Treaty.

The Statement of Purpose from the bill read:

To uphold Second Amendment rights and prevent the United States from entering into the United Nations Arms Trade Treaty.

The U.N. Small Arms Treaty, which has been championed by the Obama Administration, would have effectively placed a global ban on the import and export of small firearms. The ban would have affected all private gun owners in the U.S. , and had language that would have implemented an international gun registry on all private guns and ammo.

Astonishingly, 46 of our United States Senators were willing to give away our Constitutional rights to a foreign power.

Here are the 46 senators who voted to give your rights to the U.N.

Baldwin (D-WI)

Baucus (D-MT)

Bennet (D-CO)

Blumenthal (D-CT)

Boxer (D-CA)

.* Brown (D-OH)

Cantwell (D-WA)

Cardin (D-MD)

Carper (D-DE)

Casey (D-PA)

Coons (D-DE)

Cowan (D-MA)

Durbin (D-IL)

Feinstein (D-CA)

* Franken (D-MN)

Gillibrand (D-NY)

Harkin (D-IA)

Hirono (D-HI)

Johnson (D-SD)

Kaine (D-VA)

King (I-ME)

Klobuchar (D-MN)

Landrieu (D-LA)

Leahy (D-VT)

Levin (D-MI)

McCaskill (D-MO)

Menendez (D-NJ)

Merkley (D-OR)

Mikulski (D-MD)

Murphy (D-CT)

Murray (D-WA)

Nelson (D-FL)

Reed (D-RI)

Reid (D-NV)

Rockefeller (D-WV)

Sanders (I-VT)

Schatz (D-HI)

Schumer (D-NY)

Shaheen (D-NH)

Stabenow (D-MI)

Udall (D-CO)

Udall (D-NM)

Warner (D-VA)

Warren (D-MA)

Whitehouse (D-RI)

Wyden (D-OR)

People, this needs to go viral. These Senators voted to let the UN take our guns. They need to lose their seats in the next election election. We have been betrayed.

46 Senators Voted to Give your 2nd Amendment Constitutional Rights to the U.N.

Another traitor amongst them may be Obama. It is rumored that he may sign the treaty anyway. If he does, he is definitely impeachable since it would be a direct violation of his oath to protect the Constitution.

God Bless America And those that protect her . . .

Spreading Polio in the Name of Islam

English: Representation of a Polio victim, Egy...

English: Representation of a Polio victim, Egypt 18th Dynasty Deutsch: Darstellung eines Poliokranken, Ägypten 18. Dynastie (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am a polio survivor. I do not wish the scourge on anyone anywhere, not even radical Islamists. All I can say, is that if Muslims hate the USA so much as to deny their people a way to beat a terrible disease, then they are pitifully sick.

They may be winning the battle to take over the world, but they will lose the battle to polio. The disease does not care if you  are peace loving nor a radical seventh century Muslim, it will take you down.

Spreading Polio in the Name of Islam.

Buy American, Stimulate the Economy

It was my practice to acknowledge contributors, but since the NSA is collecting our every keystroke and spying on us, I cannot tell you that this funny came from my cousin Sharon in California. Did ya get that NSA?

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Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another ‘EconomicStimulus’ payment.

 This is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q & A format:

 Q. What is an ‘Economic Stimulus’ payment ?

 A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

 Q.. Where will the government get this money ?

 A. From taxpayers.

 Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

 A. Only a smidgen of it.

 Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

 A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

 Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?

 A. Shut up.

 Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

 * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .

 * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

 * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .

 * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,Honduras and Guatemala ..

 * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

 * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

 * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

 Instead, keep the money in America by:

 1) Spending it at yard sales, or

 2) Going to ball games, or

 3) Spending it on prostitutes,

 4) Beer or

 5) Tattoos.

 (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

 Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help.

 

Chuckle for the Day

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That Ain’t Stanley
Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The
morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his
two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men
had always hunted and fished together and were long time members
of a hunting camp. They were inseparable.
Cooter arrived first and when the mortician pulled back the sheet,
Cooter said, “Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll
him over.”
The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, “Nope, ain’t Stanley.”
The mortician thought this was rather strange, So he brought Gomer
in to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and
said, “Yup, he’s pretty well burnt up, roll him over. “The mortician
rolled him over and Gomer said, “No, it ain’t Stanley.” The mortician
asked, “How can you tell?” Gomer said, “Well, Stanley had two
ass-holes” “What! He had two ass-holes?” exclaimed the mortician.
“Yup, we never actually seen ’em but everybody used to say, ‘There’s
Stanley with them two ass-holes.'”
Cooter and Gomer are both now employed in the Obama administration
as planning, development, and strategy consultants.
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