And Now You Know

Image representing Al Gore as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

Thanks Rich, for this amazing story of the world’s greatest invention.
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How the internet started
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.And Dot Com was a comely woman, Large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often
called Amazon Dot Com.And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods
when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?”And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said,
“How, dear?”

And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you
have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and
delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.   And the drums rang out
and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all  the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to
move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that
only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed
a language to transmit ideas and pictures – Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were
called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed
that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every
drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates’
drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.”

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known.


He said, “We need a name that reflects what we are.”
And Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”
“YAHOO,” said Abraham.And because it was Dot’s idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.Abraham’s cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon
started using Dot’s drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God’s Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began.

And that’s the truth.

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I wonder if Al Gore knows this.

A Golden Nugget

Once in a while life hands you a golden nugget. Last Sunday, Peg and I were at the Frankfort Farmer’s Market when the nugget appeared as a kid riding a pedal tractor down a painted track. We went right to it. The Will County Farm Bureau was there with a kiddie tractor-pull competition. They hitched a replica weight sled to a red Farmall pedal-car tractor, and joined fifty feet of 4×8 plywood sheets to make the track.  The big boys from the Farm Bureau did a great job of announcing the event. They rewarded each kid with a  ribbon and a prize to the winner. One thing I learned is that kids with short legs had an advantage. The tractor was a bit small for long-legged kids who couldn’t extend their legs into full stoke on the pedals.  Another thing became obvious, that is, the amount of weight placed on the sled makes a huge difference in the amount of effort required to pull it.

 

I watched the event to the end. Attending a local tractor-pull is on my bucket list of things to do. I’m not sure the kiddie pull qualifies as having seen one though. The kids did their best and I loved seeing them compete, it reminded me of all the days and events I ran for kids during the Boy Scout era of my life.

If you are not familiar with tractor pulling, here is a video of a highly modified tractor in a German big boys competition.