Boredom Yields Grief

A few days ago I completed a project that took me several months to execute. Begun in March of 2019, and then set aside in May of 2019 to spend time with my wife. I restarted again in January 2020 a full six months after Peggy died. During the time I worked on this animal, my life was never lonely. This week, I found myself with a couple of hours of free time that I didn’t know what to do with.  I missed going to my shop to cut and grind, sand, and finish wood pieces. I found myself getting lonely and wishing Peggy was still alive, what a terrible feeling. Not that I didn’t want her to be with me, but that I wanted her to be with me so badly.

To ward off the loneliness, I dressed for winter and took a long walk. Exercise helps ward off grief. My shoes are beginning to show signs of wear because I am walking so much. Somedays, I will walk several times. If I need a book, I’ll walk to the library, if my hair needs cutting, I’ll walk to the barber shop. If i am meeting friends for a drink I’ll walk to the bar. Today, I’ll walk to a noon meeting with my men’s group for lunch. (KETO for sure.)

Loneliness is an emotion that causes me to be depressed. Therefore, I must avoid it with a passion. Instead I find more powerful activities to fight depression. I pray when I walk, I watch movies that absorb, I read books with stories that engulf my mind, the last thing I will do is nothing, because then the mind begins feeding me bullshit about how tough I have it when the exact opposite is true. My blessings far out number my adversities, and I thank God for having blessed me so much.

Yesterday, a friend texted me with a link to a Lions event which is in September. I texted back that I have not been able to think that far in advance. Then immediately, I signed up for the event, a three day training session called the USA/Canada Leadership Forum held in Louisville, Kentucky this year. I thought, what the hell. there is nothing holding me back but me. I have looked at this event for three years always thinking that when I am free again I will go. I am going.

While on the Forum website I was reminded of a newer Lions educational program. One can earn a Bachelor’s, Master’s and a Phd in Lionism online from Lions University. I signed up for it while Peggy was still alive and I was President of my club, but put it aside. I clicked the button and completed the first of ten sessions required for my Bachelor’s Degree. I want to receive the degree at the forum in September. Why not? I can be a widower who sits and watches grass grow, or I can be a widower who attends Webinars to get a degree.

Activity, activity, activity, is the key to trudging through grief, along with writing about it.

 

Just When Do We Get Old?

Lately, I have felt like I’m out of gas. I’m slowing down, but then I saw these folks, and realize I am just getting lazy.

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This Girl Is A Hoot

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I just completed reading Shoot Like A Girl, by Mary Jennings Hegar. I love stories about people who live their dreams. This is the second one that I have read, and they are similar.  What I admire most is that when a person really believes in something there is nothing on this planet that will prevent them from accomplishing their goal. Shoot Like A Girl is such a story. Mary Jennings or MJ as she refers to herself throughout the story saw herself as a pilot when she was eight years old. She never let go of that dream. She finally made it in her mid-twenties. In between, she prepared herself in every way she knew how. She had to be the best in school, she had to learn math and science, she had to prepare herself physically. She did that by being good at sports. Along the way she decided that one route to becoming a pilot was to join the Air Force. She learned to shoot and became an expert marksman. Later when she was in the service one of her instructors told her that girls can shoot very well. There is something about feminine physical stature that gives them balance, and the ability to breathe easily and relaxed. There are many women who are snipers.

During MJ’s course through the Air Force she experienced male discrimination. She not only fought against it, but demanded equality. The discrimination never ended, but by the end of her career she earned respect by her valor proving she could equal any male warrior.

The first few chapters of her story seem to be somewhat hum-drum, but as she progresses through the service her story becomes more exciting. When I read Space Man by Astronaut Mike Massimino I found his journey to be similar, always studying, always following orders, always picking himself up after disappointments, but never, never giving up.

MJ’s valorous actions as a pilot in Afghanistan cost her pain and discomfort, but she didn’t let it slow her down. She finally left her service job and took up the cause of women in the services. She successfully caused our government to rescind policy preventing women from fighting alongside men in shooting wars.

 

PSA-170205-Philosophy 101

Philosophy 101

As we grow older, and hence wiser, we slowly realize that:

Whether we wear a $300 or $30 watch – – – they both tell the same time.

Whether we carry a $300 or $30 wallet/handbag – – – the amount of money inside is the same.

Whether we drink a bottle of $300 or $30 or $3 wine – – – the hangover is the same.

Whether the house we live in is 300 or 3,000 or 30,000 sq. ft. – – – the loneliness is the same.

And we realize our true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world.

Whether we fly first or economy class, if the plane goes down – – – we go down with it.

Whether we fly first or economy class, if the plane reaches its destination – – – everyone arrives at the same time.

We should realize that when we have mates, buddies and old friends, brothers and sisters, with whom we can chat, laugh, talk, sing, talk about north- south-east-west or heaven
and earth — that is true happiness.

Six Undeniable Facts of Life

1. Don’t educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy, so when they grow up they will know the value of things, not the price.

2. Best wise words: “Eat your food as your medicines. Otherwise you have to eat medicines as your food.”

3. The one who loves you will never leave you because, even if there are 100 reasons to give up, he or she will find one reason to hold on.

4. There is a big difference between a human being and being human. Only a few folks really understand that.

5. You are loved when you are born. You will be loved when you die. In between, you have to manage.

6. If you just want to walk fast, walk alone; but, if you want to walk far, walk together.

Six Best Doctors in the World

1. Sunlight
2. Rest
3. Exercise
4. Diet
5. Self Confidence
6. Friends

And, finally: The nicest place to be is in someone’s thoughts, the safest place to be is in someone’s prayers, and the very best place to be is….in the hands of God.

Simple Acts Of Kindness

This barber, who offers haircuts for the price of a single hug.

The man who gave the shoes off his feet to this homeless girl.eac5115a-2e3f-43a1-b496-102b2a0e39fe.jpg

This Motorcyclist who stopped to help an old woman pass safely

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The police officer who handcuffed himself to a woman to make sure she knew she’d have to take him with her

The many people who helped make this boy’s dream come true.

This dog owner who mourned by giving.

This store employee who gives extra service.

The person who decided to put new tires on a stranger’s car just because he needed it.

The crowd who decided a fan should be able to watch the show, no matter what.

This dry cleaning place that helps the unemployed for free.

These kids helping an injured member of their rival team to score.

The man who played for fun and gave his winnings away.

This man who missed this train helping this older lady with her bags.

This man who gave something to a homeless man no one gives something to occupy his mind.

And Dan, a man who twice a week buys coffee for every patient, nurse, and doctor at local cancer centers.

The people at the animal hospital, knowing how hard it is to say goodbye.

This man who gave his umbrella away so this cat could have a dry night.

“Kindness lasts forever!”

PSA-160907-A State Of Mind

Wake up gentlemen, the score is eleven to five women to men in the memes below. Get active and stay active. All the aches and pains are a state of mind, as Nike says Just Do It.

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PSA-160515-Escape

THE BUZZARD

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If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by 8 feet and is entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will be an absolute prisoner.
The reason is that a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a run of 10 to 12 feet Without space to run, as is its habit, it will not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.
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THE BAT

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The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkable nimble creature in the air, cannot take off from a level place.
If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and, no doubt, painfully, until it reaches some slight elevation from which it can throw itself into the air.
Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.
——————————————

THE BUMBLEBEE

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A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will be there until it dies, unless it is taken out. It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom. It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself.
——————————————
PEOPLE
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In many ways, we are like the buzzard, the bat, and the bumblebee. We struggle about with all our problems and frustrations, never realizing that all we have to do is look up!
That’s the answer, the escape route and the solution to any problem….
just look up!

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Sorrow looks back,
Worry looks around,
But faith looks up!
Live simply,
love generously,
care deeply,
speak kindly, and
trust in our Creator,
who loves us.

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