See Only the Black Side

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I just received this story from my friend Lion Mike. It spoofs Obama and the Affordable Care Act. I find it highly offensive that anyone should write such a hilarious description of our first black President’s signature legacy legislation( I apologize for the black president reference, I am a racist and can only see his black-half, his white-half is invisible to me). I buy my flowers through ObamaFlowers.com regularly and I am greatly pleased with the fine service I receive. It only takes a few hours to log into the website, and usually the flowers arrive only a few days late. They are always a surprise because I never know what I will get, and I only pay three times what the same unidentified flowers cost at the local supermarket. For Thanksgiving I received a fabulous bouquet of dead red roses with a card that read, “Sorry, but our Obama live-flower panel decreed that you are too old for fresh living flowers, enjoy these dead ones instead.”  We proudly placed them on the dinner table for all of our Obama loving relatives to enjoy with us. Unfortunately, the guests all went home since it is now six days past Thanksgiving.

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Receptionist: Hello. Welcome to obamaflowers, my name is Valerie. How may I help you?
Customer: Hello. I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled, and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.
Receptionist: Yes, I am truly sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of  November. But I can help you?
Customer: Thanks. I ordered a “Spring Bouquet” for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife…
Receptionist: (interrupting) Sir, “Spring Bouquets” do not meet our minimum standards. I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.
Customer: But I have always ordered “Spring Bouquets”, done it for years, my wife likes them.
Receptionist: Roses are better, sir. I am sure your wife will love them.
Customer: Well, ok, how much are they?
Receptionist: It depends sir. Do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package?
Customer: What’s the difference?
Receptionist: 6, 12, 18 or 24 Red Roses.
Customer: The Silver package might be okay, how much is it?
Receptionist: It depends sir. What is your monthly income?
Customer: What does that have to do with anything?
Receptionist: I need that to determine your government flower subsidy. Then I can determine how much your out of pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department.
Customer: FlowerAid?
Receptionist: Yes. Flowers are a Right. Everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can’t afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.
Customer: Who said they were a Right?
Receptionist: Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it Constitutional.
Customer: Whoa…..I don’t remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding Flowers as a Right.
Receptionist: It is not really a Right in the Constitution, but obamaflowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a “Tax”. Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a Right.
Customer: I don’t believe this…
Receptionist: It’s the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is your monthly income sir?
Customer: Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.
Receptionist: In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.
Customer: Why?
Receptionist: To determine what your ‘non-participation’ cost will be.
Customer: WHAT? You can’t charge me for NOT buying flowers!
Receptionist: It’s the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It’s $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income…
Customer: (interrupting) This is ridiculous! I’ll pay the $9.50.
Receptionist: Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.
Customer: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a rip-off!!
Receptionist: Actually sir, it’s a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.
Customer: Look, I’m going to call my Congressman to find out what’s going on here. This is ridiculous. I’m not going to pay it.
Receptionist: Sorry to hear that sir. That’s why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone you are using.
Customer: Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING??
Receptionist: So they can get your GPS coordinates, sir.
(Doorbell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)
Receptionist: That would be the IRS sir. Thanks for calling obamaflowers. Have a nice day…and remember to vote democrat!

One Nation Under Obama

The Adoration of the Golden Calf'

This is an excellent essay on how Obama is replacing God with government.  It is the Progressive-Communist way.

Obama Wants You To Thank His God – Government
November 26, 2013
By Don Feder          
http://www.grasstopsusa.com/df112713.html

Obama keeps trying to rewrite American history. The latest was cutting the words “that this nation under God,” out of the Gettysburg Address, when he read the document in a PBS special.

On November 19, 1863 (in a speech that every schoolboy in the land once memorized by heart), Abraham Lincoln said we should “highly resolve… that this nation under God shall have a new birth of freedom.” In the expurgated (Obamaburg) version, Lincoln’s words became “that this nation (under no one in particular) shall have a new birth of freedom.”

This has been a consistent pattern throughout his presidency.

In 2010 and 2013, the president edited the Declaration of Independence by omitting the reference to “their Creator.” Thus, Jefferson’s “That all men are created equal. That they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights” became “That each of us are endowed with certain inalienable rights.” When? Where? By whom? The answers might be found in “Dreams of My Marxist, Kenyan Father.”
In 2011, Obama left God out of his Thanksgiving message entirely. On other occasions, God became a bit player with a walk-on part – with “the community” or “those who work in soup kitchens and homeless shelters” in the lead role.

At the University of Indonesia in Jakarta in 2010, Obama told students that our national motto is “e pluribus unum” (out of many, one.). In reality, it’s “In God We Trust.” If the president recited the National Anthem, the last stanza would become, “Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just, and this be our motto in unum is our trust.”

In a 2009 press conference in Ankara, Turkey, our national turkey claimed, “We do not consider ourselves a Christian nation.” In June, 2007, the future president told CBS: “Whatever we once were, we are no longer a Christian nation – at least, not just.” He went on to explain that America is also “a Jewish nation, a Muslim nation, a Hindu nation and a Buddhist nation.” Why not also Zoroastrian nation, a Baha’i nation and a Wiccan nation?

How many Buddhists were delegates to the Constitutional Convention of 1787? None – though 51 out of the 55 were members of Christian churches. Did the Mayflower Compact mention the Koran? And the Pilgrims, Puritans, Quakers and pioneers who pushed their way west were inspired by what – the Bhagavad Gita? If you visit the U.S. cemetery in Normandy, see if you can spot a Muslim crescent.

In his Ankara speech, Obama also said Americans “will convey our deep appreciation to the Islamic faith… which has done so much over the centuries to shape the world – including in my own country.” (The president’s Islamophilia compliments his Christophobia.) The greatest impact Islam had on America was in Midtown Manhattan on September 11, 2001.

Both Obama’s administration and his party are implacably hostile to the faith of our fathers. The Democrats have gone from the party of FDR (whose D-Day prayer asked God to give our soldiers “steadfastness in their faith”) to the party of multicultural pagans and anti-Christian bigots.

A majority of delegates to the 2012 Democratic National Convention tried to drop a passing reference to God from their platform. Sensing a political disaster looming just 10 weeks before the election, Obama ordered his minions to backtrack.

The United States Air Force Academy recently removed God from the cadets’ honor pledge. (Wonder whose idea that was?) The FBI has formed a partnership with the stridently anti-Christian Southern Poverty Law Center, which considers “Christian fundamentalists” as much a threat to our way of life as al-Qaeda.

The Pentagon (under Obama, that little engine of diversity that knows no rest) tried to ban the distribution of Bibles at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and prayers that mention Jesus at Arlington National Cemetery, but reversed course after a Congressional outcry. Overall, it’s no exaggeration to speak of a search and destroy mission against manifestations of faith in the military.

From the repeal of don’t-ask-don’t-tell to support for same-sex marriage to ObamaCare (which would compel religious employers to violate their conscience or the law, by providing contraceptives and abortion services to workers), it’s a far-reaching assault on the Judeo-Christian ethic.

Like the Golden Calf the Children of Israel made while Moses was receiving the law at Sinai, Obama is making a new God for the masses to worship – big government, the Golden Calf state. “Praise Washington from whence all blessings flow. Praise it all peons here below.”

The president’s policies are designed to maximize dependency – government as the source of all blessings.

Under Obama, the food-stamp rolls increased by 33% (to 44.7 million – a record one in seven Americans). The number now receiving Social Security disability payments reached 11 million. (Costs increased from $56 billion in 2000 to $144 billion in 2013.) And total federal spending rose from an average of 21% of GDP under George W. Bush to an average of 24% under Obama.

At the same time, the National Debt grew by more than 70%; the number of working-age Americans with full-time jobs fell from 60.6 million to 58.7 million; the average duration of unemployment increased from 19.8 weeks to 36.6 weeks; median household income declined by $4,000; and 76% of Americans now live from paycheck to paycheck. The State giveth and the State taketh away.

Obama’s God is the God of dependency, the God of redistributionism, and the God who rewards sloth and punishes success. From Caracas to Havana to Pyongyang to Sacramento, it is the God that failed miserably.

ObamaCare won’t just increase health-care costs astronomically and lead to a serious shortage of doctors, but will literally give government the power of God over its citizens. Soon it will determine who qualifies for what treatments, what new technologies and medicines will be developed and which will be left to languish.

Then will come rationing and death panels by another name. That’s the real goal of Obamacare – not cost reduction, not health care for the uninsured, but the power of life and death. Obama’s is a God who demands blood sacrifices.

The creed of Obama-ism is distilled in the president 2011 Thanksgiving message: “As we gather in our communities and in our homes, around the table or near the hearth, we give thanks to each other and to God for the many kindnesses and comforts that grace our lives. Let us pause to recount the simple gifts that sustain us, and resolve to pay them forward in the year to come.” Pay them forward how – with more government programs, greater subsidies and higher taxes?

“Our communities” take precedence over our homes as the focus of our lives. We “give thanks to each other,” first and foremost, and to God almost as an afterthought.

In his 2012 you-didn’t-build-it tirade, Obama wasn’t just bashing the rich (urging Congress to raise taxes on those who earn over $250,000 annually) and telling businessmen that their success came from the collective, so he had a right to plunder them (droll coming from a man who never spent a day of his life in the productive sector), but denying the role of the God of the Bible in the affairs of men.

“If you’ve been successful, you didn’t get there on your own,” the high priest of spread-the-wealth-around intoned.

“If you were successful, somebody along the way gave you some help.” (Not God but government.) “Somebody helped to create this unbelievable American system that we have that allowed you to thrive. Somebody invested in the roads and bridges. If you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen.”

Successful businessmen were mystified. Did “somebody” else risk every penny they had in a new venture? Did somebody else put in 70-hour weeks nurturing a new business like a newborn child? And, by the way, businessmen (the source of most federal revenue) built those roads and bridges with their tax dollars, and paid for the fraud and waste along with construction costs.

But Obama’s rant was as much theological as ideological. Where does God fit in Obama’s worldview? Christians and Jews understand that He plays a crucial part in our lives. If we’re successful, we should thank God.

No, says Obama. Thank your brothers and sisters (the collective) – and me, the voice of divinity on earth. Thank the government that built the roads and bridges and the Internet (with your tax dollars).

Marx called religion “the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.” How different is this, really, from Obama’s 2008 bitter-clinger comment, when (thinking he was speaking off the record) he observed that when people in small towns fall on hard times, “they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them… as a way to explain (make sense of) their frustrations.”

Every totalitarian movement from the Jacobins to the Bolsheviks to the National Socialists saw religion as competition for the loyalty of the people and an obstacle to their agenda. That’s why they invested so heavily in anti-religion campaigns.

Obama is more subtle – telling us that God has little, if anything, to do with our lives, but any success we achieve we owe to the collective.

Politicians and bureaucrats only think they have God-like powers. God created sunsets, meadows strewn with wildflowers, snow-covered peaks and children’s laughter. Governments create wars that never end, depressions, recessions and downturns, the US Postal Service and ObamaCare.

God makes miracles. When they stray from their proper, limited, functions, governments make manure. Obama sells it by the steaming truckload.

A Golfer Falls Down

Golfer falls down.

A woman was playing golf when she took a
big swing and fell.
Mail Attachment
 The party waiting behind her was a group from the U.S. Senate that included Harry Reid.
Reid quickly stepped forward and helped her to her feet.  She thanked him and started to leave, when he said,
“I’m Harry Reid and I hope you’ll vote for me in the next Federal Election”.
Mail Attachment
She laughed and quickly said,
“I fell on my ass, not my fuckin head!”

Some ACA Funnies

In the interest of having some fun, I post these racist, derogatory, demeaning, hilarious memes and anecdote.

1. Dental Care

Untitled attachment 001552 Healthcare.gov website

WARNING: After a recent wave of identify thefts, the FBI estimates there are over 500 fake Obamacare websites set up for the sole purpose of stealing your personal information. So protect yourself and remember: the real one is the one that doesn’t work.

3. End of Life Care

SOMEONE IS PAYING ATTENTION
IN NASCAR COUNTRY

MailAttachment

4. Healthcare.gov management team

ACA-Monkeys

A View of a Story Still Unfolding

This parody based on the failing health care exchange follows a true story still unfolding. The video is amazingly funny, but I know one guy in the world who does not think so. Some day we will look back on this debacle of a website, and laugh about the good old days when Obama rolled out his signature health care plan with an enrollment website designed to fail. What I can’t fathom is why the smartest guy in the world would deliberately pull off this elaborate charade to get what he really wants? (SIngle-payer communist style healthcare) Oh yeah, I get it, that is how a Community Organizer trained by Saul Alinsky thinks and works.

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