One Page Tax Form

Posted on 08/04/2016 by Grumpa Joe

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Every year I get more organized, but my taxes seem to take longer to do in spite of it. This year was no exception. I have learned to put all things tax related into a single pocket in my document organizer, but when it comes around to collecting data to support my deductions (loop holes) I suffer. It took me three days of pain to get it all together.

Since this is an election year, I am seriously considering voting for a candidate that promotes a tax plan that will make things simple. A flat tax sounds good to me, but I’m not sure that will pay the bills racked up by our spend happy Congressmen. When a bill is passed and it involves spending money it should carry a rider that says after four years that same bill will be reviewed for fiscal soundness. Most of these things take on a life of their own and never die.

I have heard many promises to reform the tax code in my lifetime. The first time I voted I was twenty-one, and I have voted fourteen times for president since then. None of them has ever even made a feeble attempt to change the tax code to simplify it. Instead they chose to make it more complicated.

Recently, a friend made me aware of the Tax Foundation. It is a think tank dedicated to analyzing the effects of various tax schemes. Their data made me open my eyes to the where the money comes from to pay our Federal bills. I always thought that business paid the bulk of the bill. It does not. The bulk of money collected comes from working folks like you and me. That is the reason we should be very interested in any scheme used to calculate taxes. Add to this mix that half of working people don’t even pay taxes, it becomes even more important to know just what each candidate has up his slippery sleeve.

I don’t work anymore, and one would think I wouldn’t have to pay taxes. The problem is that my 401K accounts which I funded aggressively while young remain untaxed. I reached an age where I must sell a percentage of my 401K every year just to pay the deferred taxes.

I happen to believe that every citizen of this great country should be willing to support it. I am one of those people. What I abhor are those who own the loop-hole that allows them to avoid paying any tax but instead pays them a credit. That is one of the biggest forms of income redistribution there is, and it has been going on long before Obama made the term popular. As a teenager Uncle withdrew tax money from my soda jerk paychecks. It was my responsibility to file a tax form and pay. That was during a time when everyone who made money was required to pay tax. Tax avoidance has since become a huge business.

Live free, pay taxes, die, the only time I will accept an equal outcome for all.

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See Only the Black Side

Posted on 04/12/2013 by Grumpa Joe

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I just received this story from my friend Lion Mike. It spoofs Obama and the Affordable Care Act. I find it highly offensive that anyone should write such a hilarious description of our first black President’s signature legacy legislation( I apologize for the black president reference, I am a racist and can only see his black-half, his white-half is invisible to me). I buy my flowers through ObamaFlowers.com regularly and I am greatly pleased with the fine service I receive. It only takes a few hours to log into the website, and usually the flowers arrive only a few days late. They are always a surprise because I never know what I will get, and I only pay three times what the same unidentified flowers cost at the local supermarket. For Thanksgiving I received a fabulous bouquet of dead red roses with a card that read, “Sorry, but our Obama live-flower panel decreed that you are too old for fresh living flowers, enjoy these dead ones instead.”  We proudly placed them on the dinner table for all of our Obama loving relatives to enjoy with us. Unfortunately, the guests all went home since it is now six days past Thanksgiving.

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Receptionist: Hello. Welcome to obamaflowers, my name is Valerie. How may I help you?
Customer: Hello. I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled, and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.
Receptionist: Yes, I am truly sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of  November. But I can help you?
Customer: Thanks. I ordered a “Spring Bouquet” for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife…
Receptionist: (interrupting) Sir, “Spring Bouquets” do not meet our minimum standards. I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses.
Customer: But I have always ordered “Spring Bouquets”, done it for years, my wife likes them.
Receptionist: Roses are better, sir. I am sure your wife will love them.
Customer: Well, ok, how much are they?
Receptionist: It depends sir. Do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package?
Customer: What’s the difference?
Receptionist: 6, 12, 18 or 24 Red Roses.
Customer: The Silver package might be okay, how much is it?
Receptionist: It depends sir. What is your monthly income?
Customer: What does that have to do with anything?
Receptionist: I need that to determine your government flower subsidy. Then I can determine how much your out of pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department.
Customer: FlowerAid?
Receptionist: Yes. Flowers are a Right. Everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can’t afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.
Customer: Who said they were a Right?
Receptionist: Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it Constitutional.
Customer: Whoa…..I don’t remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding Flowers as a Right.
Receptionist: It is not really a Right in the Constitution, but obamaflowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a “Tax”. Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a Right.
Customer: I don’t believe this…
Receptionist: It’s the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is your monthly income sir?
Customer: Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.
Receptionist: In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.
Customer: Why?
Receptionist: To determine what your ‘non-participation’ cost will be.
Customer: WHAT? You can’t charge me for NOT buying flowers!
Receptionist: It’s the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It’s $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income…
Customer: (interrupting) This is ridiculous! I’ll pay the $9.50.
Receptionist: Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.
Customer: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a rip-off!!
Receptionist: Actually sir, it’s a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.
Customer: Look, I’m going to call my Congressman to find out what’s going on here. This is ridiculous. I’m not going to pay it.
Receptionist: Sorry to hear that sir. That’s why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone you are using.
Customer: Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING??
Receptionist: So they can get your GPS coordinates, sir.
(Doorbell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door)
Receptionist: That would be the IRS sir. Thanks for calling obamaflowers. Have a nice day…and remember to vote democrat!

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Another List of Crazies

Posted on 22/11/2012 by Grumpa Joe
america in a nutshell / they're all nuts

america in a nutshell / they’re all nuts (Photo credit: Vermario)

I received this from a grammar school chum. As dumb as some of these sound they are all true. We are a bunch of turkeys for allowing these things to happen.

 

TOP-10 “Only In America ” Observations ~ by a Canadian:

1) Only in America , could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000.00 a plate campaign fund-raising event.

 

2) Only in America , could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney General, and roughly 18% of the federal workforce is black while only 12% of the population is black.

 

3) Only in America , could they have had the two people most responsible for our tax code, Timothy Geithner, the head of the Treasury Department and Charles Rangel who once ran the Ways and Means Committee, BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.

 

4) Only in America , can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.

 

5) Only in America, would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege while we discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just ‘magically’ become American citizens.

 

6) Only in America , could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country’s Constitution be thought of as “extremists.”

 

7) Only in America , could you need to present a driver’s license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.

 

8) Only in America , could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike).

 

9) Only in America , could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion dollars more than it has per year – for total spending of $7-Million PER MINUTE, and complain that it doesn’t have nearly enough money.

 

10) Only in America , could the rich people – who pay 86% of all income taxes – be accused of not paying their “fair share” by people who don’t pay any income taxes at all.

 

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A Billion Seconds Ago it Was 1959

Posted on 21/04/2012 by Grumpa Joe
Title: "No, No! Not That Way" Locati...

Title: "No, No! Not That Way" Location: Library of Congress, Prints and Photographs Division (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is too true to be funny. The next time you hear a politician use the Word ‘billion’ in a casual manner, think about whether you want the ‘politicians’ spending YOUR tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, But one advertising agency did a good job of Putting that figure into some perspective in One of its releases.

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.

D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it. While this thought is still fresh in our brain… let’s take a look at New Orleans …. It’s amazing what you can learn with some simple division. Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D) was asking Congress for 250 BILLION DOLLARS To rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number… What does it mean?

A. Well .. If you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman and child) You each get$516,528

B. Or… If you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.

C. Or… If you are a family of four… Your family gets$2,066,012. Washington ,

D.C HELLO! Are all your calculators broken??

Building Permit Tax

CDL License Tax Cigarette Tax

Corporate Income Tax

Dog License Tax

Federal Income Tax (Fed)

Federal Unemployment Tax (FU TA)

Fishing License Tax

Food License Tax

Fuel Permit Tax

Gasoline Tax

Hunting License Tax

Inheritance Tax

Inventory Tax

IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)

IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)

Liquor Tax

Luxury Tax

Marriage License Tax

Medicare Tax

Property Tax

Real Estate Tax

Service charge Taxes

Social Security Tax

Road Usage Tax (Truckers)

Sales Taxes

Recreational Vehicle Tax

School Tax

State Income Tax

State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)

Telephone Federal Excise Tax

Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax

Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax

Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax

Telephone Recurring and Non-recurringCharges Tax

Telephone State and Local Tax

Telephone Usage ChargeTax Utility Tax

Vehicle License Registration Tax

Vehicle Sales Tax

Watercraft Registration Tax

Well Permit Tax

Workers Compensation Tax

And to think, we left British Rule to avoid so many taxes.

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago… And our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt… We had the largest middle class in the world…

And Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What happened?

Can you spell ‘politicians’!

And I still have to Press ‘1’ For English.

I hope this goes around the USA At least 100 times

What the heck happened?????

TAXED ENOUGH ALREADY

Thank you Sharon.

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Robin Obamahood

Posted on 14/10/2008 by Grumpa Joe
My Flag Flies Everyday

My Flag Flies Everyday

A good friend of mine sent a package of articles last week. He included a letter with his political views in support of John McCain. The articles were all re-prints from Investors Business Daily. All of them proclaimed the shady background, affiliations, and non-virtues of one Barack Hussein Obama. I read them without stopping. That night I did not sleep. My body was trembling with anxiety and fear. That is the effect BO has on me when I see or hear him. On days like today, I sit at my computer BLOGGING away wondering if I am the only guy in the world who sees through the Obama hypnotica. My own children are falling for his semantics and smooth delivery. Of course, they also hate George Bush with such a vengeance that they want to punish him.

Voting irrationally for a candidate that is trying to change the best country in the world into a mediocre socialist state is not wise. Children, wake up, for once in your life, listen to your father. BO is a cobra wrapped in a sheep’s pelt. He will lure you with his bobbing and weaving, and then, when you are relaxed for just an instant, he will inject his poisonous venom into your blood. You will never recover.

One could argue, that if BO does bad things, we will replace him, and fix the wrong. Have you ever seen a bad law repealed? No, we have to live with them. As an example, the Fair Housing Act( Democrat Lyndon Johnson-LBJ) passed in 1968 was improved with the Community Reinvestment Act (Democrat Bill Clinton-WJC) of the nineties, which became the tool of ACORN. It all led to the subprime mortgage giveaway. 

This great country didn’t always have an income tax. The government enacted an income tax when it became necessary to fund something big, like a war. As soon as the debt was paid, the income tax was eliminated. Once the democrats realized the power of the greed, the income tax remained. Now we are faced with a deficit of trillions of dollars. Think about that, a trillion dollars of debt. See my post titled “How Much is a Trillion?” What would happen if you were to spend your credit card debt to the limits? Would you ever pay it off? Would you try? Would the credit card companies lend you more money? What if you told the bank, whose card you maxed out, that you wanted more money to give to charities? Would it make any difference? 

What BO is asking of you, who are already maxed out, is for more money to give away. He ‘s not interested in paying off the debt. He is playing “Robin Hood.” He wants to tax the rich to give it away to programs that he thinks will benefit you. That is the socialist way, they believe you are not able to take care of yourself, so Big Government will do it for you. All Big Government does is create a bureaucracy to administer to our needs. That bureaurocracy of administrators will use the funds to feed their own greed, and the offal will fall to the serfs.

 Everyone of the issues, he so proudly declares to be campaigning on, will cost this country trillions and add to the national debt. After Robin Hood has taxed the rich into the poorhouse, the payment of the bill transfers to us. Don’t be fooled. When we begin receiving the benefits of his entitlement programs, and BO realizes that he can’t pay for them, he will enact a tax on the benefit. Don’t believe me? I happen to pay income tax on my social security entitlement. Why? Because a few years ago, the Democrats needed a new way to pay the bill. What sense does that make?

I would like to see what will happen when every family in the country runs up a huge credit card bill and then refuses to pay. Will big government bail us out?  Currently, credit card debt is running so high in so many families, that I may get to see the need for a new bailout in my lifetime. Think it won’t happen? I think you will be forced to pay with your children, and their children before that bailout occurs.

Want to try an experiment? Send your Senator and Congressman a bill for your share of the bailout. It amounts to about three thousand dollars per person. Just multiply the number of people in your family by 3000 and send a bill for the total. Don’t hold your breath waiting for payment.

“I’m Grumpa Joe and I approve this message.”

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