Daddy Big Bucks

Daily writing prompt
Name the most expensive personal item you’ve ever purchased (not your home or car).

This is the first time I have chosen to accept the daily writing challenge from WordPress. I’m having trouble remembering what I bought for myself over the years, but they will come to me as I write. There are several things which I consider to be over priced items that I bought for me. Number one is my recumbent bicycle, topping out at $3500. I can swear that no one ever rode that bike but me. The next item has to be my fishponds. There were two. The first one, I dug, lined, and put flagstone rocks around the perimeter. The cost was lower than that of my bike, but I can’t put a price on my labor. Next was pond number two. Since I couldn’t bring the first one with me when I moved to another house I had to build it. By the time this took place I had grown much older and I decided to hire a company to create the pond of my dreams. I choose number one as my favorite. It was totally designed and built by me, and I had the most success raising Koi and Comet goldfish in that mini-lake. Pond number two was designed by me, but I relied heavily on the contractor to know what he was doing. As a result, pond 2 is shallower and relies on a commercial filter, which after a few years of raising fish, I have deemed to be adequate only for a table top goldfish bowl. I have had this pond for seventeen years and have enjoyed it to the max, and decree that I spent $12000 wisely.

Pond-1 shown in its garden walk beauty one month before Barbd DIes

Big Al and his Comet buddies enjoying a feast of fish pellets

I could delve into the intricacies of design that make Pond-2 inferior to Pond-1, but I’ll pass because Pond-2 is aesthetically more pleasing than Pond-1. Overall, the two ponds were fascinating, and I wouldn’t want to live in a home where I couldn’t raise water lilies and Comet goldfish.

One feature that I had in Pond-1 was a Garden Railway. Railroading is fun, but I decided that the hobby was too time-consuming, and I cut back to design a layout that encircles the garden around the pond. That provided me with projects galore: Like a bridge to cross a river, a trestle to climb a grade, and a tunnel to bypass a waterfall. The railroad was always a hit when our yard was included on the Prestwick Garden Guild Garden walk.

There are two memories I cannot forget that occurred in Pond-1. The first was watching a rather large frog catch a Goldfinch for its meal. The frogs developed a habit of laying in wait on the edge of the stream, and the birds would come to the stream to bath and to drink. This Gold Finch got a little bit too close to the frog and Zip, he went into the frog head first The second was the sight of a mink escaping the pond with my prize Koi in its jaws. I really liked that Koi. The kids named him Big-Al because he had grown to become over fifteen inches long and would eat out of their hands. The mink was not much larger than Big Al when I last saw them disappear into the underbrush of the back garden.

Pond-2 after shelling out $12,000 to complete and before planting
Pond-2 is shown as the central showpiece of the Monet Vision.

I thought of replacing Big Al by buying a Koi of his size, but changed my mind when I saw the price tag, which was close to a thousand dollars. The mink decided to have Koi for supper rather than a much cheaper and smaller Comet. Right about that time, my wife Barbara had a heart attack and the focus of my life changed radically.

After this period of my life, the most significant gifts I bought for myself were trips to Arizona for the winter and three tours to Canada.

Lovely’s Lamborghini

One thing I benefited from marrying Lovely is a rusty old wagon with three wheels. I don’t know what possessed me to keep it lying around, but I did. After looking at this junky Radio Flyer for three years, I decided it was time to either give it a wheel and make it useful or trash it. Why I chose the wheel option, I’ll never know, but a visit to a psychiatrist might enlighten me.

I looked everywhere for one wheel, but did not find one. Finally, I resorted to Amazon and found wheels galore. What I didn’t find was a perfect match. Being an engineer, I needed the fix to be balanced from side to side. A matched pair of wheels arrived several days later, and I went to work.

Removing the unmatched wheel from the axle was a headache that involved pounding and making a lot of noise. The action loosened a pile of rust from the bed due to all the shock and vibration, and caused a bunch of new holes to appear. Eventually, with the application of copious amounts of WD-40, the old wheel came off.

The two new wheels on the old axle made the wagon look sexy. There was only one cotter pin and I needed two, one for each wheel. With a little persuasion a nail fell out of my miscellaneous box to fill the need. A twist of the nail into a curve kept the new wheel in place. On TV all the old car restorations involve adding new paint, and paint shelf in my shop yielded a can of sky blue and another of white. The blue covered the rusty bed and the white made the hub caps look new. It was done, and available to haul stuff around the garden.

Next, I dragged the Flyer out to the garden and summoned Lovely to examine her wagon. Oh my god! She exclaimed, “A Lamborghini,” and we doubled over in laughter.

This weekend, I put the Lamborghini to use by hauling two cement blocks that had been lying next to the Lambo, alongside the house, for more years than the Lambo had sat rusting. The trip was but a few yards to the far end of the pond. The blocks provide a base for the new aerator pump that pushes air into the water to keep the fish alive through the winter. Maybe this fall, I will avoid the mass fish kill that has happened for the past three years.

A Beautiful Sunny Day

Today, turned into something remarkable. I was rolling around in bed trying to find a spot where my hip wouldn’t hurt when Lovely appeared and shook me awake. “Don’t you remember that you promised to take me for my blood test this morning at nine?”

“Okay, okay,” I answered, “I thought you were only kidding.” I rolled over my aching hip and out of bed. We were on our way at 9:06 a.m. Before we left, however, she weaseled me into taking her to the last Farmer’s Market of the year in LaGrange, IL. One of her girlfriends has been bragging about this market all summer long, and she reasoned, since we are going to Blue Island this morning maybe we could swing by and see what Aldona has been talking about. The hip pain must have affected my brain, because I reluctantly agreed to take her.

The Cook County Health Clinic in Blue Island is about thirty miles closer to home than her doctor’s office in downtown Chicago. We pulled off the interstate and drove to Western Avenue in Blue Island. I turned onto Western and spotted an open parking space, so I took it. Previous experience had taught me that if I saw something within one block of the clinic, I should seize it. If I hadn’t, I would have wound up circling the blocks of narrow crowded side streets for ten minutes looking for an opening.

The sun shone brightly, and it was a balmy fifty degrees without a wisp of wind. We enjoyed the one-block walk to the clinic. A pleasant young lady security guard, all of four-feet-ten tall, guided us to where we needed to go. I wondered if she was carrying a weapon; it might have explained why she looked as wide as she was tall. The lab was in the basement of this three story brick building every floor of which was dedicated to various diseases. The elevator opened to a miraculously empty waiting room. As we sat waiting another elderly couple arrived. A tall black man pushing a short fat black lady in a wheel chair. I noticed how attentive he was to her needs. For some reason which I will not argue with the old couple were called in first. We sat and watched for our turn to come up. The lab door opened and the elderly couple exited but stopped. The old man helped the lady out of the wheelchair and then stood behind her. She stood hunched slightly forward holding a plastic cup and stared at the door in front of her. Her eyes were fixated on the door, but she looked as though any movement of air would have knocked her down into a face plant with the floor. Finally, she stepped to the door and grabbed the door knob. She successfully entered the rest room to donate her urine for testing.

Lovely got called next, and as I waited, the old man wheeled over, parked the wheelchair, and sat next to me. I noticed he wore a sweatshirt monogrammed with “SJC Basketball.” I leaned over and asked him if his shirt referred to Saint Joseph’s College. He looked at me, stunned. “Yes, it does?”

“What year were you there?”

He laughed and said, “No, I didn’t attend; my daughter did. She graduated in 2017.” I explained that the reason I asked is that I attended school there in 1956-57. In the next ten minutes, we became fast friends as we shared some tales about the school. His daughter was on the SJC basketball team all four years she attended. He told me he drove the hundred miles to watch every home game while she was at school. Her graduating class of 2017 was the last year the school existed.

We discussed how schools have changed over the years. “There was a time when men were restricted to the lobby of a women’s dorm, then when my youngest daughter attended the University of Illinois, men and women shared rooms on the same floors.” I told him that when I started at Saint Joe’s, it was a coed school. There were 780 men and one girl. Finally, the restroom door popped open, and the little lady shuffled out, looking like she would fall on her face the whole time. That’s when he told me that she was his older sister and that she was ninety-seven years old, he was eighty-eight. That is when I went into shock. He was a year older than me but much more spry and younger looking.

We arrived at 53 LaGrange Road at 11:00 a.m. The farmer’s market circles the city hall. The street-level municipal parking lot was jammed, and I was forced to use the three-story garage. I finally squeezed into a space at the 2.5 level. The market was well-attended, and many vendors were still selling. Most of the stalls hawked food, honey, soap, and doughnuts, but there was one farmer with fresh vegetables. Lovely and I split up because I had to take a call from my son-in-law. He reported that my daughter’s conditioned worsened from yesterday on her birthday when we visited and he was forced to up her morphine to give her relief. She has been fighting brain cancer for ten years and has run out of treatment options, and is now in hospice care.

Just like that, my beautiful sunny day darkened.

Burning Gas-Northern IL Corn Harvest

Today, I shocked Lovely by asking if she wanted to take a ride. “Yes,” she replied instantly; “where?”

What Lovely Expected to See.

“It’ll be a surprise.” She left to get into her touring clothes, and I went to put on a pair of shoes. I didn’t have a plan, but she suggested that we sit at home too much and that we should go to a park for some fresh air. Her favorite place in Illinois is Starved Rock State Park. Her deceased son, Freddie, often took her there. In the back of my mind, I thought Starved Rock would be a good destination.

I fired up the Death Star, and she said we must go to Walmart to return some clothing I bought that doesn’t fit, and then to PetSmart to get kitty litter for Jerry’s cat. “That’s not a ride,” I said, “it’s a shopping trip.”

“Oh,” she replied in a tone that suggested dissatisfaction. “Okay, okay, I’ll take you to PetSmart.”

“And Walmart too.” I put it in gear and left town by the back door to get her into a different mood. “Isn’t Walmart on Lincoln Highway?” she asked. My ploy to get her mind off of kitty litter didn’t work for a single second. We continued along my path. “I promise we will get kitty litter.” She lectured me on how, when she promises somebody something, it is the first thing she does. My intention was to check out the countryside while we had a sunny bright day and to then kill the remainder of time shopping before we returned.

We finally got onto Interstate 80 at Joliet and sped onward to Morris. I needed gas, so I pulled into a truck stop and filled up with the lowest-cost gas I have used in the past four years, $2.89/gal; that same gallon costs $3.29/ gal in Frankfort. Back on the highway, I enjoyed seeing that the farmers had harvested at least 90% of the corn and soybean crop. The small irregular fields still left with corn were probably left for last because it is a big pain in the ass to break down and set up so often for the little output. It is Sunday and not many fields were being worked. I did see one old combine chugging along taking down about ten rows of corn. The machine was so old, all the paint was worn off and I couldn’t tell what color it was. The predominant color of Illinois tractors, combines, trailers, conveyers is John Deere Green.

Back in the day when I was still in college and not yet certified as a Mechanical Engineer I worked during summers at International Harvester as a Gofer. The only color farm equipment in all of Illinois was red. Thanks to the same UAW union that nearly bankrupted the car companies, IH, combined with its poor management, went out of business. They sold off profitable products to competing farm equipment manufacturers, so there is still a smattering of red left in the agricultural world.

What Lovely Saw.

I enjoyed the ride, inspecting the harvest status, while Lovely mumbled about not seeing any trees. She expected a fall color tour.

Eventually, I made left turns at two junctions, and we were pointed back toward home. We exited I-80 at New Lenox and pulled into the mall to shop PetSmart and Walmart. From there, I stopped at the Rising Sun Chinese restaurant and ordered takeout to polish off the day.

A Wild Seven-Year-Old’s Dreams

GREAT WHITE HUNTER

Those long, hot summer days on the farm challenged my imagination to the limits. Every day I had something to do, yet it felt like I had nothing to do. I call that boredom. One of my favorite daydreams was to be a pioneer. I dreamed of carving out a place to live in the wilderness. My games all centered on pioneer life.

The back acreage on the farm was very wild. Gramps had a small vineyard and an apple orchard, followed by a field of blackberries and another of boysenberries. Behind that, the farm was more primitive. My seven-year-older brother Bill has a different recollection of the farm. When he was my age, Mom and Gramps tilled the entire acreage. They kept chickens, pigs and a cow. Gramps also had a horse named Nellie. By the time I was born and old enough to recall, the neat little farmstead had reverted to nature. It was wild and very overgrown. Witness lines still defined the fields. A path coursed between them, but not much else.

The soil was extremely sandy and dry up to the edge of the woods. At that point, the terrain dropped into a wetland. The grasses that grew there were easily two feet taller than me, and the large swarm of Mosquitos and bugs attacked me each time I went exploring. The forest folded around the wetland. A creek wound its way out of the grasses and disappeared into the forest, dividing the property. The geological map of the area indicates that the creek is intermittent, meaning it dries up during the summer. I never saw it completely dry, but often I could jump across the flowing water. Most of the time, crossing the stream meant finding a log jam to balance on as I stepped from log to log. It was never really deep water, but who wanted to get wet. If I came home with wet socks and shoes, Mom would know and lecture me on the dangers of being in the woods alone.

Once across the creek, I climbed a sandy knoll and came out of the woods into a sandy lea. The forest again surrounded the opening. It was in this clearing that I explored the fringes near the trees. I often picked up items of interest as I walked. One time, I picked up a funny-looking grey stone. The surface looked chiseled. I didn’t think much of it at the time so I dropped it into my pocket and forgot about it.

As I explored the woods and the clearings, I was always on the lookout for animal tracks. Yet, in all the years I spent on the farm, I never spotted a wild animal. I found tracks in the sand every time I explored in the back. Deer tracks were abundant, and once I found some huge, wide prints that I imagined were from a bear. Most likely, they were from a large dog.

Later, I pulled the stone from my pocket and looked at it more closely. Every day, I looked at the stone. Finally, I realized that I had found an arrow point. That really got my juices flowing. My play shifted from pioneering as a settler to that of the Indian. I hunted the forest for slender Sassafras trees, which I fashioned into a bow and some arrows. The best I could find were sassafras trees. They were very straight, but brittle. When I put tension on the stem to bend it into a bow, it would snap. Gramps watched me, and noticed my frustration. He disappeared for a short time, and came back with willow stems that were the right size. They were very flexible. He helped me make a bow. Making the arrows is another story. Finding stems that are perfectly straight without a bend or a kink is very hard. I did the best I could to make arrows from both sassafras and willow. I stripped all the leaves and the bark from the stems, then notched the heavy end to fit the string. The bow and arrows took me several hours to make. I could hardly wait to test them. My arrows didn’t have a flint stone tip or a feathered quill. When I shot one, it cartwheeled or flew sideways till it dropped. Playing this way taught me that the Indians knew a lot more about making bows and arrows than I did. It didn’t occur to. me that they spent generation after generation perfecting the art on a daily basis. Nor did it dawn on me that when the weapon is the primary means to secure food, the hunter tries harder to succeed. My attempts to make a bow and arrows went on and off that summer, and a few summers after that.

Each time I uncovered an arrowhead, my interest in making bows and arrows renewed. The year after I found my first arrowhead, I came upon another one. This time, I picked it up much closer to the house. The new one was easy to identify because it was more complete and had grooves at the base for tying it to the shaft. It was in excellent condition. Only the tip of the point was missing.

Indians were skilled at tracking animals, so I began to do the same thing. Whenever I found deer tracks, I followed them until I got lost in the brush. It wasn’t long before a pattern emerged, and I knew exactly where to find tracks. Even with all of my tracking and traipsing through the woods I never spotted a living animal on the farm.

Years later, after Mom and Dad retired to the farm. Dad told me that he saw deer come up into the yard to eat apples from the trees in the orchard.