Problem Solved

Posted on 20/02/2010 by Grumpa Joe

     What a genius I am, I thought to myself. I am smart.  I have come up with a solution to a large segment of the illegal alien problem. Many of the illegal’s are coming across the U.S.-Mexico border. We try like hell to keep them out, but they keep on coming. It is not easy trying to secure a border that is 1969 miles long. Build a fence, is what some people say.  Others want to transfer our troops from Iraq and Afghanistan to protect this border. In other words, let us build the U.S. version of the Iron Curtain. We could build guard towers every three hundred feet and staff them with border patrol people who will shoot to kill. Clear a swath several hundred yards wide along the border to give the sentries a clear shot. Even better yet, mine the field so the poor bastards coming across are blown up.

     Drastic measures have to be taken or the illegal’s will destroy our economy before Obama and his pirates can do it. The solution is so simple, but not one that is easy to swallow for either side. I began to do some research to find facts to support my premise. It occurred to me that I should Google the idea to see what is already available on the subject. Surprise, surprise, I got 43,600,000 hits on the idea.  I guess it was not such an original idea after all. Or, maybe I should say my idea has a lot of merit since so many others have had the same thought.

     The reason the illegal’s are such a problem, is that we have legislated too many ways for them to get all the neat free stuff we give to our own citizens. Health Care, Education, Food Stamps, Social Security, and driver’s licenses, are available to these people and they do not pay a cent for it. Well, let us change that by making them pay. How? Annex Mexico as the fifty-first state. Instantly they become citizens who are obligated to follow our laws, and to pay taxes. Since they have to get minimum wage like the northerners do, there is no advantage to hiring them in the upper fifty. That means the jobs they have now will have to be taken by the poor northern boys who are out of work. Maybe some of the Acorn people would like to do something productive for a change.

     Another advantage is that this move will stop the flow of manufacturing jobs to the south. Why? The economic advantage is lost. The jobs will have to go to some other third world nation. The liberal progressives and Obama will like that. Spread the wealth baby.

     The phone companies could program all calls north of the state of Mexico to open with “Dial One for English.” South of the border the call would say “Dial one for Spanish.” You know what? It wouldn’t piss us off anymore either, because we are all U.S. citizens

     The Federal Government could eliminate the US Border Patrol because there would be no need to check for jumpers any more. Think of those tax rebates we would get from that move. The Border Patrol people will transfer to the IRS. No doubt, we would need extra people to collect all those new tax payments.

     I could go on and on with lots of great reasons to annex Mexico, but with forty-three million hits on Google there are too many words occupying cyberspace on the subject already.

Filed under: Conservative, economy, Government, liberals, Manufacturing, politics, Satire | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

“$1,000,000,000,000.00 Like It’s Chump Change”

Posted on 20/03/2009 by Grumpa Joe
My Flag Flies Everyday

My Flag Flies Everyday

We hear an awful lot of commentary these days about the stimulus bill, the budget, the Porkulus Bill, on and on. Each time we hear the amount of money being spent, politicians and commentators alike bandy about the phrase “a trillion dollars,” like it is pocket change. The number, one trillion, continues to fascinate me. Probably, because  in my mind that number is so large, and unreal I cannot mentally process the information.  

It has taken me fifty five years to accumulate a nest egg large enough to feel comfortable with. In spite of the nest egg, I still have to rely on Social Security to make ends meet.  The egg became scrambled in three short months, and my fifty five years of hard work went down the drain. I must now consider returning to the working population.

My dilemma is this; I spent fifty five years working in a number oriented business, if I can’t process the number, one trillion, how in the world can a bunch of lawyers elected to congress do it? They can’t. They have no clue as to what is happening to their constituents. If they did, they would have done the right thing, and voted the  trillion dollar packages into the toilet where they belong. They would also impeach the president and his cabinet as being incompetent.

As an excercise to get an understanding of what a trillion dollars is, I made a spread sheet to calculate how long it will take to pay off a trillion dollar debt. The numbers are too large to show the entire spreadsheet on this page.

      years to pay off debt
           
debt in trillions   1 2 3 4
payback rate          
1 Million per day   2,740 5,479 8,219 10,959
1 Million per hour   114 228 342 457
100 Million per day   27 55 82 110
1 Billion per day   3 5 8 11
1 Billion per hour   0 0 0 0

My three year old  grandchild will be thirty years old if we pay back one trillion dollars of deficit at a rate of one billion dollars per day, and not spend another dime along the way. We don’t have one trillion dollars of deficit, we have ten,  and it continues to grow exponentially. Only the fat cats in congress will survive.  

 Send the tea bag, vote them out of office, do what it takes to get the lazy bastards out of office. Elect some people who are real citizens, and  who care about the country, and its people. If we don’t take radical action now to stop  “Change We Can Believe In,” only the fats cats will survive. The rest of us will spend the rest of our lives waiting in lines to get a roll of toilet paper.

Filed under: conservatives, economy, Election, family, Government, politics, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Give it, Take It Back Policy

Posted on 15/10/2008 by Grumpa Joe
My Flag Flies Everyday

My Flag Flies Everyday

BO and his frenzy of followers are hyped on the issue of “universal health care.” Well folks, I’m here to tell you that I’m a recipient of Uncle’s current health care plan. It’s called “Medicare.” I am the first to agree that it is better than nothing. When it was first instituted, my parents finally started going to a doctor. They were retired by that time. They led healthy lives, and lived long. A trip to the doctor meant you had a major problem, like the time dad pissed himself while shoveling snow at age seventy-eight. That incident finally convinced him it was time to get help. It turned out that in addition to an enlarged prostate, he had prostate cancer too. In spite of the surgery, and years of incontinence afterward, he lived to ninety two. He used Medicare about twenty times for follow up appointments.

Time marched on, and the cost of Medicare kept rising. The possibility of Medicare going bankrupt became a reality(have we heard that recently?) Our fine political representatives fixed it by raising the tax taken from our paychecks. Simple? At the same time, they fixed Social Security by raising the tax taken to pay for that. Still simple? Then the genii decided they were giving retired people too much, and decided to tax Social Security. What the “government giveth, the government taketh.”  Did I mention this “give it, take it back” policy was enacted under a Democratic president?  I digress.

The point I’m trying to make is that a big government universal health care plan will ultimately fail. (Case in point, the Fair Housing Act ultimately failed and led to the need for the bail out.) Uncle Sam can’t even pay for the health care plan he has. How in the world will BO pay for a bigger one? First, he will take from the rich, then, it will get more expensive, and guess what? You’re absolutely right. You will be asked to bend over and grab your ankles to get it shoved up your a__. The only ones to benefit will be the people hired to administer the program. Most likely, it will be a division of ACORN. Our health care dollar will be consummed by the administrators. It will be their job to curb costs by challenging every thing you go to the doctor for. Who will curb them? The pennies remaining from that dollar, will go to a physician.

If you you think I am being critical of Medicare, ask your  physician how he likes it. Many doctors don’t accept Medicare because Uncle doesn’t pay well. To compensate, Uncle has a stupid rule that he will pay for each visit.  To make some money, my doctor invents reasons for me to come see him. I take a blood test every three months, he could easily have his nurse call me with the results, instead he tells me to make a follow up visit to get the results. His rationalle, he has to review the results with me. The real reason, he bills Medicare for another visit.

Where will the incentive come for young people to become doctors? It is hard enough now to find a doctor that speaks without such a heavy accent that I can understand him. What incentive  will a student have to study for ten years, certainly not from a big government health care plan. Ask a Canadian what he thinks of his health care. First, he will brag about how all his medical needs are paid by the government. A few sentences later he will complain about the three months it takes to get an appointment, and the two year waiting list for surgery.

This is one of the issues BO keeps wishing John McCain will talk to you about. It is only his way to divert attention from his radical influences.

Get real folks, don’t buy into the idea that Uncle can do it for you better than you can do it on your own.

Filed under: Election, family, Motivation, politics, Writer | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

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