Miscellaneous Rambling

Today, I went into a mild shock as I tried to stuff a fully assembled winter coat box into my car for delivery. The box didn’t fit, and I had to disassemble it to make it go into the back seat. Now I have to expand the box and tape it at each location that I deliver to.  A minor irritation, but an irritation no less. 

The morning was beautiful sunny blue-sky-day which made me feel really upbeat. I quickly made a KETO omelet with spinach, scallions, and sundried tomatoes accompanied with three slices of gypsy style smoked bacon, and two slices of KETO toast smothered in butter.

After breakfast I read the mail, and then prepped for a walk. The plan was to walk to the pharmacy, to pick up a prescription, then to the mailbox to drop a letter, and finally to the coffee shop for a latte.  The prescription failed, my doctor did not approve a refill, I had to make an appointment for a blood test and an office visit before he would. Onward to the drop box with the letter and for the latte. I arrived home after two hours, and proceeded to assemble the box I grumbled about above. 

I spent a long afternoon surfing the net for information on immigration laws. One of my friends is living here on an expired visa, and needs help to get legal again. I didn’t find anything very promising. I don’t know how all the people who come in here illegally actually get to stay, much less to sign up for bennies. All the law I found is pretty simple, and seems to be iron clad on how to handle illegals. I’m positive that If I try to help this person that I will wind up in jail for five years and he will be deported.

Immigration word cloud concept isolated on white

My daughter called me this afternoon to tell me that her daughter (my grand-daughter) received notification that she was placed on the National Honor Society. Proud mama that she is she couldn’t wait to make a braggadocios phone call to let her pride show. She is one of my favorites so I am as proud as can be of her accomplishment. She did it while hunkered down and forced to attend classes on the internet.

After this post I will settle into my usual evening routine of five hours of non-stop TV. I found a new series which I have been avoiding for reasons unknown to me. It is titled Hunters, and stars Al Pacino. He is a former prisoner of a Nazi camp who escaped being gassed by his captors. He is currently hunting down escaped Nazis from WW-2 living within the USA. I found the first episode fascinating, and will watch it until every damned Nazi is hunted down and exterminated. 

Another movie title caught my eye and I latched onto that too; Moondance Alexander. It turned out to be a horse story about a young girl shunned by her friends who finds a horse while delivering groceries after school on her bicycle. It turns out it was filmed in Calgary, Canada home of the Heartland series my favorite horse opera too date. I must have seen ten movies in the last month all with the same theme, and all filmed in the same location with titles that lure me in. 

It is also time for me to call my long-lost son from the Lone Star State. Our conversation will easily last an hour or two as we share Trump stories.       

From Genius to Idiocy

The book cover of Rael's book Geniocracy (repu...

The book cover of Rael’s book Geniocracy (republished in 2004 by the Raelian Foundation. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have to thank my good friend Lou for sending me this piece of wisdom. It seems I am always the last to know these things. In trying to find the source author of this remarkable description of Liberal Progressive thinking I have learned that it is a very popular piece being circulated on blogs and via e-mail. I think it is worthy of sharing again, lest we never forget how stupid our country has become. The author is still unknown, who ever you are thanks for a great lesson.

Founded by geniuses – run by idiots
  • If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for being in the country illegally … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

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  • If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
 
  • If you have to show  identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a  library book, but not to vote who runs the government … you might live in a  country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

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  • If the government wants to  ban stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines with more than ten  rounds, but gives 20 F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt … you  might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

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  • If, in the largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not a 24-ounce soda because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

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  • If an 80-year-old woman can be stripped searched by the TSA but a woman in a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

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  • If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

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  • If a seven-year old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is “cute,” but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

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  • If children are forcibly removed from parents who discipline them with spankings while children of addicts are left in filth and drug infested “homes”… you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

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  • If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government intrusion, while  not working is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized  housing, and free cell phones … you might live in a country founded by  geniuses but run by idiots.

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  • If the government’s plan for getting people  back to work is to incentivize NOT working with 99 weeks of Unemployment checks  and no requirement to prove they applied but can’t find work … you might live  in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

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  • If you pay your  mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big screen TV while your  neighbor buys iPhones, TV’s and new cars, and the government forgives his debt  when he defaults on his mortgage … you might live in a country founded by  geniuses but run by idiots.

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  • If being stripped of the ability to defend yourself makes you more “safe” according to the government … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

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One blogger who posted this piece suggested that it might be even better if one substitutes the word idiot with the word liberal, or socialist. I think it best to leave it alone as the word idiot defines it perfectly.

Alien Surge

A few weeks ago, I posted a cartoon depicting Obama pulling the Arizona-Mexican border to the north of Phoenix. My research on immigration frustrated me because I could not find a website to explain what the rules are for obtaining a green card visa into the USA. Today, I struck oil. One thing about the transparency of this administration, they put the information out there, but it is so layered in departments that it is dam near impossible to find.

In the Department of Homeland Security website is a tiny department referred to as the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services. Isn’t that a mouthful? I found the rules there, but not the cost. I scoured the net for another hour looking for references to the cost of obtaining a green card. The best answer I found is an average of $6000.00. WOW! The average time to obtain a card is 3 to 6 months if you fall into the privileged needs category. If you are a peon, the time is 15 to 24 months.

The US Citizenship and Immigration Service manages to eke out a million green cards and a million work permits every year. The claim is that the applicants cover the cost of the department. A short review of their budget confused me. I am not an accountant, but the good Nuns of Our Lady of Hungary grammar school taught me numbers. I can recognize billions when I see them. The best I gleaned from the budget is that they spend between $21,613,000,000.00, and $50,138,000,000.00 per year. The good Nuns also taught me to divide, and I calculate the cost of those green cards and permits to be between $10,806.50 and $25,069.00 apiece. Didn’t I just say it costs the applicant an average of $6000 to obtain a green card? Who gets that money? Probably a lawyer.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to determine that a person making the minimum wage, and working eighty hours a week can amass $55,000 in the time it takes to wait for the paperwork to process. So, why do I want to get a green card? A US worker sees that money as poverty level wages. The illegal alien sees it as a fortune with which he can buy his home town.

All this transparency stuff is making my head spin. It is time for a Grey Goose Martini. Before I do though, my recommendation is that we begin Comprehensive Immigration Reform by dissolving the US Citizenship and Immigration Service, and use the money to build a Great Wall like the one they have in China, except we coat it in Teflon.

Illegal Alien Invasion

 Wabbit War Press Release

Grumpa Joe has had the barrier area under tight surveillance for the past forty-eight hours. The enemy has retreated, or has changed tactics. Osama de Wabbit has gone underground. Most likely, he is hiding in a cave of foliage somewhere in the area. Meanwhile, the Alliance has strengthened (Grandma Peggy and Osama de Wabbit) with the addition of mosquitoes, and stripped ground squirrels.

On several forays to improve the barrier in the evening hours, Grumpa Joe has encountered heavy concentrations of buzzing mosquito kamikaze fighters. He retreated in order to minimize bloodshed.

Grumpa Joe has not sighted Wabbit during daylight hours prompting him to believe Wabbit is now attacking under cover of darkness.

The barrier remains breached, and damage to prized horticultural specimens continues to occur.

Grumpa Joe is forming a commission of Master Gardening experts from universities throughout the Big Ten to investigate the problem.

The lure of Grandma Peggy’s Free Seed for Birds Program has caused an Illegal Alien invasion. Wabbits, young and old are coming to assist Osama de Wabbit eat free. The FSBP is stressed by the additional burdens placed on it. The rate of consumption has doubled since the beginning of June, and is burdening the resident taxpayer. Additionally, two robins died after slamming into the picture window during aerial pursuit. Grumpa Joe sadly gave them appropriate “Aerial Burials.”

Grumpa Joe must secure the barrier before the garden becomes bankrupt of colorful floral displays and natural food sources for birds.

The Wabbit War Begins

Image courtesy of Warner Bros, free use agreement.

When I was a kid, Elmer Fudd was a popular cartoon character. I had to go to the movies to see him star in a cartoon. That was before television was invented. Elmer spoke with an impediment and pronounced “r’s and l’s” as “w.” Today his speech would be offensive to many liberal senses. The libs would protest that the character was demeaning speech impediments. To me it was funny, and is still funny. If you are offended by written words about lispy speech, stop right here and go to the ACLU website and register a complaint.

Elmer loved hunting and was always in pursuit of a rabbit named Bugs Bunny. He pronounced rabbit as wabbit, and his favorite saying was “siwwy wabbit.” Each cartoon episode involved Elmer in some hilarious attempt to catch the wabbit who stole his carrots. I love Elmer Fudd.

I tell this story because I too am in pursuit of wabbits or illegal aliens as one of my gardening friends refers to them. For some reason, this season the wabbit count is high, and they are voraciously hungry. I have a collection of Asiatic lilies, which I am very proud of, but this year they have been decimated by the wabbits. At first, I thought it was a bug, but one day, I witnessed a long earred furry thing chomping on the tender leaves of a lily plant. By the time I reacted, and placed a wabbit barrier around the stubs, it was too late; the liwys were eaten to the ground

A year ago, I wrote a story titled “Dumb Ass Squirrel #!!&+*^(#?” It described my battle with a squirrel and my bird feeders. Later in the summer, I wrote a trilogy of pieces about another garden creature titled; Mystery-Riddle,  Dumb Ass Squirrel Has Competition,  and Answer to Riddle.

Eventually, I gave up and conceded to the ingenuity of the squirrels. The wabbit is another matter. The squirrels are entertaining; the wabbits are destwuctive. There is no pwant matter thing they wiww not taste. In the pwocess, they destwoy bwooms. One of the fiwst fwowers of spwing is the tuwip. The wabbits wait untiw the bud is high and about to bwoom, then they chomp the stem. The bud ways on the gwound with an uneaten stem stiww attached.  (If you think it is easy to write with a lisp, think again. I want you to get as frustrated reading this as I am chasing the wabbit.)

My war with the wabbits is compounded by, my sweet wife, Peggy. She has a motherly fondness for all living creatures and goes out of her way to feed birds, squirrels, and now wabbits too. Her attitude is that the animal kingdom leads a hard life and they deserve a little tender loving care. (But not my prize lilies dam it.) Peggy will dump a cup full of birdseed on the patio for the ducks, and the wabbits. On the way to the seed pile, the wabbits pass through my flowerbeds and partake of appetizers. A bite here, a nibble there, aren’t they cute?

For the last week, instead of drawing Obama bashing cartoons, and blogging, Grumpa Joe has been busy installing wabbit barriers at considerable expense. Every day he discovers that the wabbit has figured a new route into the flowers. So far, He has discovered a huge chunk missing from his favorite cactus, a denuded potted geranium, coral bell stems, and leaves lying on the ground. All the buds from a bellflower are gone, chrysanthemum buds gone (that one is a favor to me), bell pepper, hosta, and sedum leaves eaten to the stem. What do they leave alone? Wabbits avoid dandelions, clover, thistle, Queen Anne’s lace, and so far, day lilies.

 The war continues.