Wabbit War Press Release
Grumpa Joe has had the barrier area under tight surveillance for the past forty-eight hours. The enemy has retreated, or has changed tactics. Osama de Wabbit has gone underground. Most likely, he is hiding in a cave of foliage somewhere in the area. Meanwhile, the Alliance has strengthened (Grandma Peggy and Osama de Wabbit) with the addition of mosquitoes, and stripped ground squirrels.
On several forays to improve the barrier in the evening hours, Grumpa Joe has encountered heavy concentrations of buzzing mosquito kamikaze fighters. He retreated in order to minimize bloodshed.
Grumpa Joe has not sighted Wabbit during daylight hours prompting him to believe Wabbit is now attacking under cover of darkness.
The barrier remains breached, and damage to prized horticultural specimens continues to occur.
Grumpa Joe is forming a commission of Master Gardening experts from universities throughout the Big Ten to investigate the problem.
The lure of Grandma Peggy’s Free Seed for Birds Program has caused an Illegal Alien invasion. Wabbits, young and old are coming to assist Osama de Wabbit eat free. The FSBP is stressed by the additional burdens placed on it. The rate of consumption has doubled since the beginning of June, and is burdening the resident taxpayer. Additionally, two robins died after slamming into the picture window during aerial pursuit. Grumpa Joe sadly gave them appropriate “Aerial Burials.”
Grumpa Joe must secure the barrier before the garden becomes bankrupt of colorful floral displays and natural food sources for birds.
Filed under: Birds, Cartoons, family, Garden, Gardening, Pond, Satire, Writer | Tagged: Alliance, Big Ten, illegal aliens, Kamikaze, Master Gardener, Mosquitoes, Osama, Tax Payer | 3 Comments »
He’s baaack. A few weeks ago, I noticed a huge garter snake on the front lawn. He is easily seven hundred and sixty centimeters long, and three centimeters in diameter. I was curious, and moved closer to take a look. He slithered off into the Barberry shrubs and disappeared. Oh well, I forgot about him. The next week I was cleaning the pond of algae when I noticed a strange looking stick protruding from the edge of the waterfall. Upon looking longer, I realized it was Slinky holding his head vertically erect a full six inches above the waters edge. I kept cleaning the pond. He disappeared again. A few minutes later I saw him emerge from the rocks that hide the filter tank. He sprawled on the rocks like a piece of rope. I moved closer to get a better look. He immediately slithered between the rocks and disappeared.
This BLOGGER took some needed downtime. Peggy and I went south and east until we hit some serious water, then followed the coast further southward. We were seeking warmer weather, and some colorful spring flowers. We got it all. Along the way, we stopped to visit friends from another life. I have a list of friends I want to visit before I die, and I got to see four of them.
After lunch, we sauntered to the harbor and took a cruise around the bay for a waterfront perspective. One of the porters on the ship lives in a house boat at the dock . He is retired, and fortifying his income working on the cruise boat. He commuted by taking a thirty second walk from his tiny float home across the dock to the sightseeing boat. Peggy and I got sun burn while basking on the deck. She was white knuckling the chair the whole time, not being one for taking boat rides.
We arrived at the Staybridge Suites in Savannah, Georgia on Bay Street early. Our room was not ready yet so to kill time, we booked a trolley tour of the historical district. What a city! I always wanted to see Savannah, but somehow this part of the country eluded me. Savannah was founded in 1733, by General James Oglethorpe. He was also the architect of the city layout. The historic district is a beautiful grid of streets divided into districts by squares or parks. Twenty four distinct little squares define open spaces between congested avenues of row houses and mansions. Twenty two of the squares still exist. Two have fallen prey to civic center development. In between the streets with the squares are larger more elegant boulevrds. The median dividers on the boulevards are filled with pink, white, rose, and red azaleas. Shading the streets are giant oaks, three hundred years old, and dripping with dainty Spanish Moss. 
Peggy and I roamed the streets from square to square taking house tours, and visiting museums. Among the more notable homes we visited was the Juliette Gordon Low birthplace. Juliette founded the Girl Scouts of America In 1912. The house has been preserved, and is in excellent condition. It contains many pieces of the original furnishings. In the Telfair Museum of Art we saw two wxhibitions by black artists. One of them by a man named Robert Colescott has a series of contemporary paintings on display. It is my opinion that this man was on some serious shit while he painted. The second artist, Elizabeth King, displayed a ceramic mannekin head the size of an apple and with infinite realistic detail . She photographed the head from various angles against a black background; the photos are magnificent. She is a true artist, while Colescott seemed to paint only while high, or maybe he just can’t see too well.
The Savannah river front along River Street is a string of shops, and restaurants, converted from old cotton warehouses. A Green and Yellow Trolley runs along a track laid in the center of the cobblestone street, reminiscent of streetcars I rode in Chicago during the forties. A container ship passed by as we shopped. Savannah is the second largest container port in the US. Here is a piece of useless info, the largest export out of the port is chicken; shipped to China.
