New Development in the Wabbit War

Image courtesy of Warner Bros, free use agreement.

A new force has mysteriously intervened in the Wabbit War. Striking in the dark of night, the new force has divided the Alliance. Grumpa Joe smilingly approves. The Alliance consisting of Wabbits, Grandma Peggy, birds, squirrels, mice, ants, and the dreaded Heron have suffered a major setback. Still unidentified, the strike force snuck into the garden climbed the window style and stole a bird feeder. In a fit of disappointment, Grandma Peggy directed Grumpa Joe to search for the lost feeder. He spent three hours in the yard mowing and weeding without spotting any evidence of the feeder or its hanger. Meanwhile, the Wabbits continue to eat any new plant sprouting in the flowerbeds. They also continue to enjoy the birdseed that Grandma Peggy now spreads on the patio for the birds. Is it possible that the Wabbits themselves are responsible for this latest act of aggression? Have they allied themselves with the opossum or the raccoons in order to avail themselves of easier food?

Wabbit War Mind Game

War is definitely a mind game. Strategy is critical to the success of one, or the other side. Right now, I am trying to understand the new strategy of the Alliance. This morning my intelligence indicated a new player on the scene. Could the Wabbits be so smart as to ally with the Herons? Even if they are not allies, the heron represents another attack on Grumpa Joe. Now, I have to fight the enemy on one more front. Wabbits, ants, mice, now herons; how many more will join the battle before I raise the white flag?

I thought I won the heron battle last fall, but I lost. I last saw him standing on the frozen pond waiting patiently for the thaw. The temperature turned down, and he disappeared. All winter, I waited  to determine if any of my fish had survived his onslaught. They did not; he had eaten every one of them.

The heron is a formidable enemy. He is cunning, clever, and observant. The least bit of noise or movement, and he flies off making a giant circle around the neighborhood only to return and land on the roof of the castle. When opportunity presents itself, he glides down to the water, and patiently fishes.

I avoided buying new fish because of the heron threat. I did not see Great Blue for months, so I finally broke down and stocked the pond with five bucks worth of Comets. The fish are so small, that I have only seen them three times in a month. They disappear rapidly under the foliage of the water lilies.

Today, I did maintenance on the pond. I trimmed the creeping water plants, pulled the string algae out by the bucketful, and cleared the skimmer basket. The heat has evaporated several inches of water, so I ran the hose to top it off. As I picked up the trimmings and piles of algae, I spotted a toad. Then, a few inches away from the toad, I watched a green frog quietly slip into the pool. The frog is another threat. Will he win out over the heron, and eat the comets? Or, will Great Blue have frog legs for supper?  It doesn’t matter; I’m screwed either way.

As I said before, war is strategy. Grandma Peggy hates Great Blue because he eats fish. She will not have a fish eater as her ally, but she will remain faithful to the flower eating Wabbits. How do I resolve the dilemma of split Alliances? In one case she is with me, in the other she is against me. It’s a losin fight.

Wabbit War Update

The Alliance grows stronger in both members and resolve.  Today, awestruck sympathizers reached a new high as they proclaimed, “awe, isn’t he cute?”

As the actor William Bendix often said in the radio sitcom The Life of Riley, “it’s a losin’ fight.”

Meanwhile, Grumpa Joe sent S.O.S. messages to the Predator World requesting emergency assistance.

Illegal Alien Invasion

 Wabbit War Press Release

Grumpa Joe has had the barrier area under tight surveillance for the past forty-eight hours. The enemy has retreated, or has changed tactics. Osama de Wabbit has gone underground. Most likely, he is hiding in a cave of foliage somewhere in the area. Meanwhile, the Alliance has strengthened (Grandma Peggy and Osama de Wabbit) with the addition of mosquitoes, and stripped ground squirrels.

On several forays to improve the barrier in the evening hours, Grumpa Joe has encountered heavy concentrations of buzzing mosquito kamikaze fighters. He retreated in order to minimize bloodshed.

Grumpa Joe has not sighted Wabbit during daylight hours prompting him to believe Wabbit is now attacking under cover of darkness.

The barrier remains breached, and damage to prized horticultural specimens continues to occur.

Grumpa Joe is forming a commission of Master Gardening experts from universities throughout the Big Ten to investigate the problem.

The lure of Grandma Peggy’s Free Seed for Birds Program has caused an Illegal Alien invasion. Wabbits, young and old are coming to assist Osama de Wabbit eat free. The FSBP is stressed by the additional burdens placed on it. The rate of consumption has doubled since the beginning of June, and is burdening the resident taxpayer. Additionally, two robins died after slamming into the picture window during aerial pursuit. Grumpa Joe sadly gave them appropriate “Aerial Burials.”

Grumpa Joe must secure the barrier before the garden becomes bankrupt of colorful floral displays and natural food sources for birds.

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