CINO, Conservative In Name Only

Today, I began my war against the terror organization known as Bull Thistle. As I patiently applied toxins to foliage with a brush to keep overspray from killing innocent victims, it finally occurred to me, gardens are naturally conservative. The natural law rules and plants are genetically programmed to win any affront to upset the balance. On the flip side, gardeners are the far left liberals. We constantly try to force our will upon Nature and its horticultural specimens to form a more perfect society. Gardeners are racist too. We chose to believe that some specimens are more desirable than others, and therefore, the undesirables are definitely open to annihilation.

When will we liberal gardeners learn that the order of Nature will persevere?  When will gardeners stop the foolishness of imposing their idea of what is beautiful and morally correct upon nature? Anyone who gardens knows that a beautiful society of plantdom has to be carefully controlled. Unwanted specimens are culled to keep the vision beautiful. If the maintenance slows or if it stops, the vision automatically reverts to the natural order of things. In some cases it reverts to something that is less than natural, because the gardener brought in specimens from outside his zone of influence to fill the lack of diversity. Many times the imports are without predators and thrive within the vision to overtake the locals.

So here I am, a boneheaded Conservative trying to impose my will upon the 2012 Monet Vision, in order to create a Utopian society of horticultural matter in an environment that repels my efforts to create heaven on earth.

“It’s a losin’ fight.” —–WIlliam Bendix as Riley in “The Life of Riley.”

The Life of Riley

The Life of Riley (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Wabbit War Update

The Alliance grows stronger in both members and resolve.  Today, awestruck sympathizers reached a new high as they proclaimed, “awe, isn’t he cute?”

As the actor William Bendix often said in the radio sitcom The Life of Riley, “it’s a losin’ fight.”

Meanwhile, Grumpa Joe sent S.O.S. messages to the Predator World requesting emergency assistance.