210824-Ha Ha’s

Play on Words!


An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
 
I didn’t think the chiropractor would improve my posture. But I stand corrected.
 
I took my new girlfriend out on our first date to the ice rink, and entry was half price. She called me a cheap skate. 
Studies show cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them. It’s a case of in one ear and out the udder. 
I used to date a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery. She was in charge of the hops. 
My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side. 
My wife claims I’m the cheapest person she’s ever met. I’m not buying it.

Did you know that a raven has 17 rigid feathers called pinions, while a crow has only 16. The difference between a raven and a crow is just a matter of a pinion. 
I told my carpenter I didn’t want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stair.

What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision? Suture self.

A Smoldering Pile Of Ashes

If one wants to get sick he can wander outside into crowds and pick up some COVID-19 virus, or he can listen to cable news and hear too much sh_t about Afghanistan. I don’t wander out and I quit watching the news about a country that we should be taking title to. After twenty years one would think that we own the place. Instead we leave it with our heads down, ears back and tail drooping between our legs. Why did we do this without getting any satisfaction? To me the root cause is simple. We believe in diplomacy instead of common sense. If we were really smart we would believe in common sense and diplomacy working together. Liberals tend to prefer diplomacy over military solutions. Our leadership has been mostly shit-headed liberal for more than sixteen of the twenty years we have engaged the Muslims in their world. They are Ivy-League educated Political Scientists who seem to have their heads buried in their rectums. Me, I prefer the George S. Patton method of diplomacy, we win they lose. One of the main problems with the Afghan world is that they are Muslims and they profess the same simple philosophy as Patton. Because of our Constitution giving us all religious freedom we shy away from taking other people’s religious freedom from them. What we forget is that they are not U.S. citizens and the Constitution doesn’t apply to them. When we engage in war against a people other than our own we should not project our rules on them. Hell, that would be hypocritical you say. BS, I say we will use any rules necessary to win.

In the very olden days of Empires, our very own British Empire, to whom we once belonged, had no problem with taking a country over and ruling it by the British system. Just about every known country on the globe fell under the rule of the British Empire. It wasn’t until we the colonist people stood up to them that we separated successfully. Had we not done that we would still be having tea every afternoon at four. Ownership is a benefit of occupation, and the British knew how to do that well. It was simple, the Brits ruled and the population was subjugated to their rule. It is my opinion that we in the United States should also have taken this approach when deciding to occupy Afghanistan, Iraq, Kuwait, etc. We would now be the proud owners of many resources that are found in the mountains and deserts of those countries.

Think about it. Because we would literally own these territories we could then relegate the governance of these places to all the brain dead liberals who are trying to change our Constitution to be something we don’t want it to be. They could spend all their energies talking to and dealing with the Muslims who would be operating under the we win you lose philosophy. Our administration would not have to worry about adhering to the Constitution because it will never work for them. Our guys would have a field day applying the rules of the Koran into a working democracy. The liberal administrative solution would be to rename the Constitution to the Koran. It would be an arm wrestle between the strongest Muslim and our local Ambassador for which would be changed, the Koran renamed to the Constitution, or the Constitution renamed to the Koran? I won’t ask what you think would happen, there is only one option that would be acceptable to the occupied citizenry.

Again, my philosophy on Afghanistan is that we should have beat them militarily into a smoldering pile of ashes about eighteen years ago, and then made them subject to us. If they didn’t like our rules, and since they love cutting peoples heads off I would grant them equal treatment and a direct line to heaven by guillotine.

At the very least, had I been Commander in Chief I would have ordered every U.S. Citizen out of the country by a deadline. If they didn’t make the deadline I would take it to mean that these people had switched their alliances from the U.S. to Afghanistan and have chosen to remain. After all citizens were flown home, I would offer the same deal to all certified friends of the U.S Military. Once I was assured that ll of our people were out I would order a hasty retreat of all military personnel, but not before blowing up the Afghan government complex into a smoldering pile of ashes. That’s diplomacy baby, we win, you lose.

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