PSA-170217A-God’s Plan

Posted on 17/02/2017 by Grumpa Joe

Aging.jpg

God’s Plan for Aging?

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older

#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years unless you give them your email address.

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2 In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow

Filed under: Aging, family, Humor | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

PSA-170217-Angels and Kids

Posted on 17/02/2017 by Grumpa Joe

5306b496328002cee82a3756e5f9312b.jpgAngels…….AS EXPLAINED BY CHILDREN.

I only know the names of two angels, Hark and Harold.
Gregory, age 5

Everybody’s got it all wrong.
Angels don’t wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it

-Olive, age 9

It’s not easy to become an angel! First, you die.
Then you go to Heaven, and then there’s still the flight training to go through.
And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.

-Matthew, age 9

Angels work for God and watch over kids when God
Has to go do something else.

-Mitchell, age 7

My guardian angel helps me with math, but he’s not much good for science.

-Henry, age 8

Angels don’t eat, but they drink milk from Holy
Cows!!!
-Jack, age 6

Angels talk all the way while they’re flying you up
To heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead.
Daniel, age 9
When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten.
And when he lets out his breath again, somewhere there’s a tornado.

-Reagan, age 10

 

Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy.
If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow.
Then when it gets cold, angels go south for the winter.

-Sara, age 6
Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his
Son, who’s a very good carpenter.

-Jared, age 8

All angels are girls because they gotta wear
Dresses and boys didn’t go for it.

-Antonio, age 9

My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got
A big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth.

-Ashley ~ age 9

Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal
Sick animals and pets. And if
They don’t make the animals get better, they help the child get over it.

– Vicki , age 8
What I don’t get about angels is why, when someone
Is in love, they shoot arrows at them.

– Sarah , age 7

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We Don’t Stand a Chance

Posted on 16/02/2017 by Grumpa Joe

http://metrocosm.com/us-immigration-history-map.html

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Let me first apologize for making you click on a second link to see this video, but I could not make it work any other way. This moving map shows the rate of immigration into the USA from all over the world over the past 200 years. Please take note of how immigration speeds up after 1970. with the flow of people flooding into the country it won’t be long before the population of the entire world is living in North America, specifically the USA.

I  found a chart that explains what happened, around 1970, Congress increased the total number of immigrants coming in many times between 1965-1970. Before this change we allowed 250,000 people into the country every year. Congress finally stopped at one million immigrants per year, and wallah, see what happened. All of those people came legally, i.e. they had valid passports. Not all intended to stay, but allowed their Visa to expire, that automatically makes you illegal. There are consequences to allowing a VISA to expire. When such a visitor goes back home, and then tries to return, he pays a penalty in the form of a long delay before being issued another Visa, so they stay over instead. Add these people to those who have been encouraged to enter without any credentials at all, and the USA has an immigration problem, i.e. too many people are here under the radar of the State Department. Immigration estimates are that we are allowing 1.5 million into the country every year, one million legally, and five hundred thousand illegally.
http://metrocosm.com/us-immigration-history-map.html

As with all good things there is a limit to how long one can sustain unlimited growth. Look at business as an example. The number one credo is that in order for a business to survive, it must grow. The result is that companies become over grown, and expand by buying other businesses. This is not necessarily adding value to the system, but it is growing companies. Eventually, they get so large that they become ruthless money machines without any regard for the people working for them. I am still waiting for these mega countries to implode from their size. One way the mega companies are cut down to size is when they become targets of men like the fictional character Gordon Gecko in the movie Wall Street who makes huge amounts of money by manipulating stock values, acquiring a company on the cheap, and then profiting by selling off valuable components.

Our country is pretty much in the same boat as the mega-companies. We needed to increase population because our total birth rate fell below that which is necessary to keep us steady. To augment the population, Congress decided to add people through increased immigration. Their assumption was that the economy would absorb these people and everyone would be happy. The problem is that globalization affected job growth, and globalization began at the same time as we increased the immigration limit, circa 1970. What Congress has never even thought about doing is to readjust the immigration limit to stabilize the jobs rate.
http://metrocosm.com/us-immigration-history-map.html

Currently, we have a world that is entrenched in globalization and every country is being affected in a big way. The immigration spigot has never been adjusted to slow the flow, and we are being over run by too many people that we cannot employ. The world still sees the USA as the place where the streets are lined in gold, and they are streaming in as fast as their bare feet can carry them. The Muslim world still stuck in the sixth century has awakened to that fact, and is breaking their chains to get a piece of the action. Of course they are blaming the Western Nations for their predicament, so they feel morally justified getting their piece by any means.

The only way to deal with this problem is to shut off the inflow until such time as we re-gain control of the economy.

http://metrocosm.com/us-immigration-history-map.html

Filed under: Conservative, family, Government, Immigration | Tagged: , , , | Leave a comment »

PSA-170214-Did You Know?

Posted on 14/02/2017 by Grumpa Joe

I have seen too many of my friends posting negative comments on Facebook about Republicans, and President Trump taking their Social Security benefits away. The implication is that the Republicans will be the bad guys who leave us hanging out to dry. The brief history below timelines all the changes to the Social Security law from the inception. After you read this ask yourself which party is the most likely to remove your benefit?

################################################################

elvis_social_security_card_1950.jpg

Your SS Card – did you know?
History Lesson on Your Social Security Card

Just in case some of you didn’t know this. It’s easy to
check out, if you don’t believe it. Be sure and show
it to your family and friends. They need a little history
lesson on what’s what and it doesn’t matter whether
you are Democrat or Republican. Facts are Facts.
Social Security Cards up until the 1980s expressly stated
the number and card were not to be used for identification
purposes. Since nearly everyone in the United States now
has a number, it became convenient to use it anyway
and the message, NOT FOR IDENTIFICATION, was removed.

Franklin Roosevelt, a Democrat, introduced the Social
Security (FICA) Program. He promised:
��
1.) That participation in the Program would be
Completely voluntary,

No longer Voluntary
��

2.) That the participants would only have to pay
1% of the first $1,400 of their annual
Incomes into the Program,

Now 7.65%
on the first $90,000
��

3.) That the money the participants elected to put
into the Program would be deductible from
their income for tax purposes each year,

No longer tax deductible
��

4.) That the money the participants put into the
independent ‘Trust Fund’ rather than into the
general operating fund, and therefore, would
only be used to fund the Social Security
Retirement Program, and no other
Government program, and,

Under Johnson the money was moved to
The General Fund and Spent
��

5.) That the annuity payments to the retirees would never
be taxed as income.
��
Under Clinton & Gore
Up to 85% of your Social Security can be Taxed
��
Since many of us have paid into FICA for years and are
now receiving a Social Security check every month —
and then finding that we are getting taxed on 85% of
the money we paid to the Federal government to ‘put
away’ — you may be interested in the following:
��
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —-
��
Q: Which Political Party took Social Security from the
independent ‘Trust Fund’ and put it into the
general fund so that Congress could spend it?

A: It was Lyndon Johnson and the democratically
controlled House and Senate.
��
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
��
Q: Which Political Party eliminated the income tax
deduction for Social Security (FICA) withholding?

A: The Democratic Party.
��
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— —–
��
Q: Which Political Party started taxing Social
Security annuities?

A: The Democratic Party, with Al Gore casting
the
‘tie-breaking’ deciding vote as President of the
Senate, while he was Vice President of the US
��
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
��
Q: Which Political Party decided to start
giving annuity payments to immigrants?
��
AND MY FAVORITE:

A: That’s right!

Jimmy Carter and the Democratic Party.
Immigrants moved into this country, and at age 65,
began to receive Social Security payments! The
Democratic Party gave these payments to them,
even though they never paid a dime into it!
��
———— — ———— ——— —– ———— ——— ———
��
Then, after violating the original contract (FICA),
the Democrats turn around and tell you that the Republicans
want to take your Social Security away!

Filed under: Education, family, Government, politics, Seniors, Uncategorized | Tagged: | Leave a comment »

PSA-170213-Monday Giggles

Posted on 13/02/2017 by Grumpa Joe

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  1. A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, “Don’t be surprised. This is just part of my job.” “Incredible!” exclaimed the man. “I can’t believe it! Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!” “No, no,” pleaded the dog. “Please don’t! If that man finds out I can talk, he’ll make me answer the phone as well!”
  2. An old geezer became bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.
    He put a sign up outside that said: “Dr. Geezer’s clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000.”
    Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about
    medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $$. So he went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic.
    Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me ??”
    Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”
    Dr. Young: Aaagh !! — “This is Gasoline!”Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

    Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”

    Dr. Young: “Oh, no you don’t, — that is Gasoline!”

    Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back . That will be $500.”

    Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

    Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak — I can hardly see anything!!!!”

    Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so, ” Here’s your $1000 back.” (giving him a $10 bill)

    Dr. Young: “But this is only $10!”

    Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”

    Moral of story — Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an “old Geezer”

    Remember: Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to tick us off.

    ENJOY YOUR DAY !!

    3. The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged
    mountains of Alaska. He was driving along near the campground when
    he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. He
    found a helpless Democrat wearing shorts, sandals, a ‘Vote for
    Hillary’ hat and a ‘Save the Trees’ shirt. The man was screaming
    and struggling frantically, thrashing all about and trying to free
    himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly bear.
    As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers
    wearing Go Trump shirts came racing up. One quickly fired a .44
    magnum slug right into the bear’s chest. The two other men pulled
    the semiconscious Democrat from the bear’s grasp.

    Then using baseball bats, the three loggers finished off the bear.
    Two of the men dragged the dead grizzly onto the bed of their
    pickup truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat
    in the back seat.

    As they began to leave, the Pope summoned all of them over to him.
    “I give you my blessing for your brave actions!” he proudly
    proclaimed. “I have heard there was bitter hatred between
    Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now
    I’ve seen with my own eyes that this is not true.

    As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies, “Who was that
    guy?”Dude, that was the Pope,” another replied. “He’s in direct
    contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom.

    “Well,” the logger said, “he may have access to all wisdom, but he
    don’t know squat about bear hunting. By the way, is the bait still
    alive or do we need to go back to California and get another one?

    4. A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
    The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

    The man said, ‘No, I’d like to see something more special.’

    At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. ‘Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said.
    The lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
    The old man seeing this said, ‘We’ll take it.’
    The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated,
    ‘By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now ;and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.’

    On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said ‘Sir…There’s no money in that account.

    ”I know,’ said the old man…’But let me tell you about my weekend.’

    Not All Seniors Are Senile…

5.   A young man with his pants hanging half off his ass, two gold front teeth &
a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare
office to pick up his check.

He marched up to the counter and said, “Hi. you know, I just HATE drawing
welfare. I’d really rather have a job. I don’t like taking advantage of the
system, getting something for nothing.”

The social worker behind the counter said “Your timing is excellent. We just
got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and
bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.

You’ll have to drive around in his 2016 Mercedes-Benz CL & he will supply
all of your clothes.”

“Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll also be expected
to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward
but you will also have to satisfy her sexual urges as the Daughter is in her
20’s and has a strong sex drive.

The guy, wide-eyed, said, “You’re bullshittin’ me?”

The social worker said, “Yeah, well . . . you started it.”

 

6     Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women as given by David Letterman
And here we go…
#10 – You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9 – You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you’re on the road.
#8 – If you admire a friend’s gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7 – Your primary gun doesn’t mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
#6 – Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
#5 – A gun doesn’t take up a lot of closet space.
#4 – Guns function normally every day of the month..
#3 – A gun doesn’t ask , “Do these new grips make me look fat?”
#2 – A gun doesn’t mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And the Number One reason
Why Men Prefer Guns over women…..
#1 – You can buy a silencer for a gun.

Filed under: Humor, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a comment »

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