Beware of a surprise.
Filed under: family, Humor | Tagged: Cleaning, Tips | Leave a comment »
PSA-170217B-Cleaning Tip
Posted on 17/02/2017 by Grumpa Joe
PSA-170217A-God’s Plan
Posted on 17/02/2017 by Grumpa Joe
God’s Plan for Aging?
Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.
So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.
Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years unless you give them your email address.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2 In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow
Filed under: Aging, family, Humor | Tagged: aging, Death, God | 2 Comments »
PSA-170217-Angels and Kids
Posted on 17/02/2017 by Grumpa Joe
Angels…….AS EXPLAINED BY CHILDREN.
I only know the names of two angels, Hark and Harold.
Gregory, age 5
Everybody’s got it all wrong.
Angels don’t wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it
-Olive, age 9
It’s not easy to become an angel! First, you die.
Then you go to Heaven, and then there’s still the flight training to go through.
And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.
-Matthew, age 9
Angels work for God and watch over kids when God
Has to go do something else.
-Mitchell, age 7
My guardian angel helps me with math, but he’s not much good for science.
-Henry, age 8
Angels don’t eat, but they drink milk from Holy
Cows!!!
-Jack, age 6
Angels talk all the way while they’re flying you up
To heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead.
Daniel, age 9
When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten.
And when he lets out his breath again, somewhere there’s a tornado.
-Reagan, age 10
Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy.
If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow.
Then when it gets cold, angels go south for the winter.
-Sara, age 6
Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his
Son, who’s a very good carpenter.
-Jared, age 8
All angels are girls because they gotta wear
Dresses and boys didn’t go for it.
-Antonio, age 9
My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got
A big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth.
-Ashley ~ age 9
Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal
Sick animals and pets. And if
They don’t make the animals get better, they help the child get over it.
– Vicki , age 8
What I don’t get about angels is why, when someone
Is in love, they shoot arrows at them.
– Sarah , age 7
Filed under: family, Humor | Tagged: Angels, God, Heaven, Kids | Leave a comment »
