July, 1996

Seven year old Mohammad entered his classroom on the first day of school.

“What’s your name?”, asked the teacher.

“Mohammad,” he replied.

“You’re in Ireland now,” replied the teacher, “So from now on you will be known as Mike.”

Mohammad returned home after school.

“How was your day, Mohammad?”, his mother asked.

“My name is not Mohammad. I’m in Ireland and now my name is Mike.

“Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!” And his mother beat the shit out of him. Then she called his father, who beat the shit out of him again.


The next day Mohammad returned to school. The teacher saw all of his fresh bruises.

“What happened to you, Mike?”, she asked.

“Well shortly after becoming an Irishman, I was attacked by two f******g Muslims

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