We Are the Last Ones

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Sent to me by a friend who played with me on the streets of Burnside a neighborhood  in Chicago. It resonates mightily with all of my generation, i.e. those who remain.

A short (sad) memoir
Born in the 1930s and early 40s, we exist as a very special age cohort. We are the “last ones.” We are the last, climbing out of the depression, who can remember the winds of war and the war itself with fathers and uncles going off. We are the last to remember ration books for everything from sugar to shoes to stoves. We saved tin foil and poured fat into tin cans. We saw cars up on blocks because tires weren’t available. My mother delivered milk in a horse drawn cart.
We are the last to hear Roosevelt’s radio assurances and to see gold stars in the front windows of our grieving neighbors. We can also remember the parades on August 15, 1945; VJ Day.
We saw the ‘boys’ home from the war build their Cape Cod style houses, pouring the cellar, tar papering it over and living there until they could afford the time and money to build it out.

We are the last who spent childhood without television; instead imagining what we heard on the radio. As we all like to brag, with no TV, we spent our childhood “playing outside until the street lights came on.” We did play outside and we did play on our own. There was no little league.

The lack of television in our early years meant, for most of us, that we had little real understanding of what the world was like. Our Saturday afternoons, if at the movies, gave us newsreels of the war and the holocaust sandwiched in between westerns and cartoons. Newspapers and magazines were written for adults. We are the last who had to find out for ourselves.

As we grew up, the country was exploding with growth. The G.I. Bill gave returning veterans the means to get an education and spurred colleges to grow. VA loans fanned a housing boom. Pent up demand coupled with new installment payment plans put factories to work. New highways would bring jobs and mobility. The veterans joined civic clubs and became active in politics. In the late 40s and early 50’s the country seemed to lie in the embrace of brisk but quiet order as it gave birth to its new middle class. Our parents understandably became absorbed with their own new lives. They were free from the confines of the depression and the war. They threw themselves into exploring opportunities they had never imagined.

We weren’t neglected but we weren’t today’s all-consuming family focus. They were glad we played by ourselves ‘until the street lights came on.’ They were busy discovering the post war world.

Most of us had no life plan, but with the unexpected virtue of ignorance and an economic rising tide we simply stepped into the world and went to find out. We entered a world of overflowing plenty and opportunity; a world where we were welcomed. Based on our naïve belief that there was more where this came from, we shaped life as we went.

We enjoyed a luxury; we felt secure in our future. Of course, just as today, not all Americans shared in this experience. Depression poverty was deep rooted. Polio was still a crippler. The Korean War was a dark presage in the early 50s and by mid-decade school children were ducking under desks. China became Red China. Eisenhower sent the first ‘advisors’ to Vietnam. Castro set up camp in Cuba and Khrushchev came to power.
We are the last to experience an interlude when there were no existential threats to our homeland. We came of age in the late 40s and early 50s. The war was over and the cold war, terrorism, climate change, technological upheaval and perpetual economic insecurity had yet to haunt life with insistent unease.

Only we can remember both a time of apocalyptic war and a time when our world was secure and full of bright promise and plenty. We experienced both.

We grew up at the best possible time, a time when the world was getting better not worse.

We are the ‘last ones.’
Now why won’t anyone listen to experience?

Who Are These Guys?

I did not realize the IRS was in business to extract money from me before I avoided paying my taxes. Unfortunately for me I have never not paid taxes, and I have always done so before the deadline passed. Evidently, the IRS is running a bargain pay plan and they have decided to include me in this endeavor. This morning I opened this e-mail and decided to expose them to you in an attempt to give readers a heads-up on this scam.

What really bothers me is that the language used in this letter is so totally bogus even a grammar school kid can see through it. Who are these people? Do readers actually respond to them and thus make this effort profitable?

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FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
INTERNATIONAL MONETARY DIVISION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING,WASHINGTON.DC
INTERNATIONAL FUNDS REGULATORY AUTHORITY
INTER-CONTINENTAL DEBT RECONCILIATION DEPT.
FROM THE DESK OF: HON. MR.HAZARD MORRIS

PROVISION OF AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM CERTIFICATE FOR LEGAL COVER/
PROTECTION OF US$15.5M IN FAVOR

URGENT ATTENTION

PLEASE LET US START BY APOLOGIZING TO YOUR HUMBLE AND NOBLE PERSON, THIS IS BECAUSE YOUR PAYMENT FILE WORTH THE TOTAL SUM OF $15.5 MILLION US DOLLARS HAVE JUST BEEN BROUGHT TO MY DESK FOR CANCELLATION WHICH I HAVE TO TAKE MY TIME TO LOOK INTO YOUR PAYMENT FILE TO KNOW WHY YOUR OVER DUE PAYMENT SHOULD BE CANCELLED AND I FOUND OUT THAT IT WAS BECAUSE OF YOUR INABILITY TO SECURE YOUR ACCESS CODE THAT IS WHY THEY HAVE RESOLVED TO HAVE YOUR PAYMENT OF $15.5 MILLION US DOLLARS CANCELLED.

We have been watching every single transaction you made since last year until this 2015 and you have to know that we are also working to make sure your funds which are suppose to be delivered to you and also bear in mind that what ever you emailing us will be forward to the court .Also we are hereby to notified by the federal bureau of investigation of Republic Du Benin of the insult you imposed on them by failing to comply by their requirements. Your full residential address has been forwarded to us for your immediate arrest to face your charge but I deemed it fit to give you one more chance to save yourself from this mess

NEVERTHELESS, DUE TO HUMANITARIAN GROUND AND SYMPATHY AND BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT YOUR PAYMENT CANCELLED SO I IMMEDIATELY CALLED UP THE PRESIDENT (PRESIDENT GOOD-LUCK EBELE JONATHAN) TO EXPLAIN YOUR MATTER TO HIM AS REGARDS TO YOUR PAYMENT AND HE PERSONALLY CALLED UP A MEETING WHICH WAS RESOLVED THAT ALL PAYMENT AND ANY PAYMENT BE REDUCED TO IT’S BAREST MENIAL IN OTHER TO ENABLE YOU AFFORD TO PAY THE FEE SO THAT YOUR PAYMENT BE RELEASED TO YOU TODAY.

PLEASE I WILL NOT LIKE TO WASTE YOUR VALUABLE TIME OR MINE IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO COMPLY WITH THE FEE WITHIN THREE DAYS YOU RECEIVE THIS EMAIL PLEASE DO NOT BOTHER RESPONDING TO THIS EMAIL.YOU HAVE BEEN MANDATED TO IMMEDIATELY COMPLETE YOUR LONG AWAITED FUND WITH THIS OFFICE INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND, SO YOU HAVE BEEN MANDATED TO COMPLY FOR THE FINAL VET OF YOUR PAYMENT. TO THIS END IT WILL INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT THE ONLY FEE REQUIRED OF YOU HAVE BEEN REDUCED TO THE SUM OF $750 ONLY WHICH IS IN OTHER TO ENABLE YOU HAVE THE FEE PAID SO THAT YOUR ACCESS CODE WILL BE RELEASED TO YOU IMMEDIATELY IN OTHER TO ENABLE YOU HAVE SPEEDY ACCESS TO YOUR FUND ONCE IT IS RELEASED TO YOU PLEASE WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE ONLY 24 HOURS TO DO THIS PAYMENT SO WE CAN CLEAR, RELEASE AND EFFECT YOUR FUND WORTH $15.5M US IN OUR CARE TO ANY BANK ACCOUNT OF YOUR CHOICE SO WE ADVICE YOU TO PAY THE $750 THROUGH THE WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER OR MONEY GRAM MONEY TRANSFER TO THE BELOW INFORMATION AND SEND THE PAYMENT DETAILS TO ME.

We have been told that you have failed to dance by the rule of the FBI which will warrant 1 years jail sentence. Now I john Francis Pius the special agent in charge of the FBI Albany department I am giving you 24 working hours to effect the payment You have to try as much as you can and make this payment so that your funds will be delivered immediately to your destination. You have to stop every transaction you are communicating with other organization to avoid delay on the processing of your funds.

Note that you??if you fail to stick with my advice or any delay will lead to us coming directly to your home address at any time,so try and dance by the rule and get back to me with good understanding ASAP.

YOU ARE ALSO EXPECTED TO FOLLOW THIS ADVICE AND DIRECTIVES TO AVOID DELAY IN RELEASING YOUR (2) TRUNK BOX TO THE DIPLOMAT AGENT. WE SCANNED THE SAID BOX, AND FOUND IT CONTAINS TOTAL SUM OF $15.5 MILLION AND ALSO BACKUP DOCUMENT WHICH BEARS YOUR NAME AS THE RECEIVER OF THE MONEY CONTAINED IN THE BOX, INVESTIGATIONS CARRIED OUT ON THE DIPLOMAT WHICH ACCOMPANIED THE BOX INTO UNITED STATES SAID HE WAS TO DELIVER THIS FUNDS TO YOUR RESIDENCE AS PAYMENT DUE YOU FROM THE OFFICE OF FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF BENIN AS UNPAID BENEFICIARY IN MANAGEMENT OF THE UNITED NATION FUND ORGANIZATION.

RECEIVERS NAME: JERRY IKEM
COUNTRY: COTONOU, BENIN REPUBLIC
SENDERS NAME:
SENDERS ADDRESS:
AMOUNT: $750.USD
M.T.C.N NUMBER:
TEXT QUESTION: WHEN
TEXT ANSWER: NOW

WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE ARE INDEED VERY VERY SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCES ANY DELAY THIS MUST HAVE CAUSED YOU IN HAVING YOUR FUND PAID OUT TO YOU LONG BEFORE NOW. FOR MORE INFORMATION YOU WILL NEVER EVER REGRET PAYING THE FEE THIS IS A PROMISE TO YOU AFTER ALL YOUR PAINS IN THE PAST AS WE ARE HERE TO SERVE YOU AS OUR WORD IS OUR BOND TO YOU. CONFIRM THE RECEIPT OF THIS E-MAIL BY YOU IMMEDIATELY AND BE REST ASSURED THAT YOU WILL BE SMILING TO YOUR BANK ONCE YOU COMPLY WITH THE ABOVE DIRECTIVES NOW.

YOUR URGENT RESPONSE TO THIS E-MAIL NOW WILL GO A LONG WAY IN HELPING US ENSURE YOUR PAYMENT IS RELEASED TO YOU WITHIN 24HOURS YOU ACT AS INSTRUCTED BY THIS OFFICE.

RESPOND BACK IMMEDIATELY.

Hon.Hazard Morris
DIRECTOR INTER-CONTINENTAL
DEBT RECONCILIATION DEPT.

INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND (IMF)

Special Agent in Charge;
Mr. Hazard Morris Direct line +1 (201) 957-0401
E-Mail=(dirjbc.1gov@gmail.com)

FOR MORE INFORMATION, PLEASE KINDLY EMAIL ME IMMEDIATELY USING CONTACT EMAIL(dirjbc.1gov@gmail.com)

Potpourri of Funny thoughts

 

 

april-fools-day-joke-homework-comics-1157997.gif1. Since it was such a crappy day I sat in my recliner and started thinking about life and came to realize that as I have grown older I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

2. Lance Armstrong….I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, while on drugs. Hell, when I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my bike.

3. Drive By….Someone broke into my house last week. They didn’t take my TV, just the remote. Now they drive by and change the channels. Sick bastards!!!

4. The Agony of Aging….On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I  stopped at the nursing home to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, “You better get your hearing checked -You’re supposed to turn your clock back”.

5. Video Scam….Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled “My Favorite 18 Holes”. Turns out it’s all about golf. Absolute waste of money!

6. Doctor asks a pregnant prostitute, “do you know who the father is?”

“Hey dumb ass, she replied, if you ate a can of beans would you know which one made you fart!

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AMEN…Jesus told Peter that if he wanted to catch fish, do it from the right side of the boat.  They did and filled the boat with fish.

John 21:6 He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish. 

Origin of Left & Right…I have often wondered why it is that Conservatives are called the “right” and Liberals are called the “left”. By chance I stumbled upon this verse in the Bible: Ecclesiastes 10:2 – “The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left. “ Thus sayeth the Lord.   Amen. 

It surely can’t get any simpler than that.

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Spelling Lesson:

The last four letters in American…I Can

The last four letters in Republican…I Can

The last four letters in Democrats….Rats

 End of  lesson!  Test to follow on November 6, 2016.

Remember, November 2016 is to be set aside as rodent removal month. Do not be fooled by Hillary!

Please share this Bible Lesson with all your buddies to help achieve that goal.

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 Catholic School

PRICELESS!  1+ 2 = 3

Until a child tells you what they are thinking, we can’t even begin to imagine how their mind is working….Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything…tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him In the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn’t even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner. To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before.

This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Zachary brought home his report Card.. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, His Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, Little Zachary got an ‘A’ in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity. . . She went to his room and said, ‘Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?’ Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no. . . ‘Well, then,’ she replied, Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT?’

Little Zachary looked at her and said, ‘Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren’t fooling around.’

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  1. A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.

She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’

After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up.

The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Larry?’

‘No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!’ 

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2. Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.

‘Why do you do that, mommy?’ he asked.

‘To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

‘What’s the matter, asked Larry ‘Giving up?’

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3. The math teacher saw that Larry wasn’t paying attention in class.

She called on him and said, ‘Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?’

Larry quickly replied, ‘NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!’

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4. Larry’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 

‘Yes,’ said the policeman. ‘The detectives want very badly to capture him.’ 

Larry asked, “Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?”

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5. Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father.

He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’

His father replied, “Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.”

Larry, looking worried, said, “Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom …..”

 

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