PSA-170921-Senior Musings

Most old timers will know exactly how true these memes are, and will not consider them to be funny. I find them hilarious.

 

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Is There a Theme Here?

I’ve read these jokes a few times, but I love reading them over again, I laugh every time.

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Definition of “OLD”
#1
I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.

She turned to me and asked, “Are you having it catered?”

And that, my friend, is the sad definition of “OLD”!

#2
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
“How old was your husband?”
“98,” she replied: “Two years older than me”
“So you’re 96,” the undertaker commented.
She responded, “Hardly worth going home, is it?”

#3
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
“And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?” the reporter asked.
She simply replied, “No peer pressure.”
#4
I’ve sure gotten old! I have outlived my feet and my teeth
I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I’m half blind,
can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation;
hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver’s license.
#5
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor’s permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
by the time I got my leotards on,
the class was over.
#6
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.

“Wal-Mart?” the preacher exclaimed.
“Why Wal-Mart?”
“Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week”
#7
My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
#8
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
#9
It’s scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffee maker.
#10
These days about half the stuff
in my shopping cart says,
‘For fast relief.’
#11
THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.

Second Amendment Exercise

big bad potus

I woke up one morning this week at seven, and turned on the news. What I heard spoiled the rest of my day. There was POTUS proposing to remove guns from people on Social Security. Granted he promises to limit the take away to those who cannot function normally, and who have mental problems. My question is this: how many old people have used guns to kill, terrorize, or hold anyone hostage? The people he targets concern themselves more about who will change their diaper, or put the next meal in front of them. So, in true Progressive fashion he wants to further degrade the dignity of seniors in their twilight years. His first affront came when he stole five hundred billion dollars from the Medicare fund to finance his titanic Obamacare.

This matter is not about the threat or danger that people on Social Security present. It is a matter of taking away second amendment rights from all of us. The first victims will be people who worked hard all their lives to earn some financial security in the years after they are no longer able to work. Next, it will be you. Progressives will always invent some lame brained reason to grab a gun. Eventually, the entire population is without a defense mechanism.

If my doctor ever quizzes me even mildly as to whether I own a gun he will become my ex doctor.

Obama knows that older people are those who would most likely use firearms in the way the second amendment intends. I for one, would love to march in the squad of seniors using walkers, wheel chairs, and crutches to chase his skinny ass out of the white house. He won’t know what hit him.

PSA-14092-Grimoba Speaks

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THIS IS A MUST READ! WE ALL NEED TO KNOW THIS!
Letter from a senior gentleman in Mesa, Arizona:
Dear Family, Friends, Neighbors and former Classmates,

I just found myself in the middle of a medical situation that made it very clear that “the affordable care act” is neither affordable, nor do they care.
I’ll go back about seven years ago to a fairly radical prostate surgery that I underwent. The Urologist (a personal friend) who performed the surgery was very concerned that it was cancer, though I wasn’t told this until the lab report revealed it was benign. Since that procedure, I have experienced numerous urinary tract infections, UTI’s. Since I had never had a “UTI” prior to the prostate surgery, I assume that it is one of the side effects from surgery, an assumption since confirmed by my Family Doctor.
The weekend of March 8-9, I was experiencing all the symptoms of another bout of UTI. By Monday afternoon the infection had hit with full force. Knowing that all I needed was an antibiotic, I went to an Urgent Care Center in Mesa, AZ., to provide a specimen, a requirement for getting the prescription. After waiting 45 min. to see the Doctor, I started getting very nauseous and light headed.
I went to the Receptionist to ask where the bathroom was as I felt that I was going to throw up. I was told that I would have to wait for the Doctor because I would need to leave a specimen and they didn’t want me in the bathroom without first seeing him.
That was when the lights went out, my next awareness was that of finding myself on the floor (in the waiting room) having violent dry heaves, and very confused. At this point, I tried to stand up but couldn’t make it, and they made it very clear they weren’t going to let me get up until the ambulance got there. By the way, when you’re waiting to see the Doctor and you pass out, you get very prompt attention.

Now, “the rest of the story”, and the reason for sending this to so many of you.
I was taken to the nearest hospital, to emergency. Once there, I was transported to an emergency examination room. Once I had removed my clothes and donned one of those lovely hospital gowns, I finally got to see a Doctor. I asked “what is going on” I’m just having a UTI, just get me the proper medication and let me go home. He told me that my symptoms presented the possibility of sepsis, a potentially deadly migration of toxins, and that they needed to run several tests to determine how far the infection had migrated.
For the next 3 hours I was subjected to several tests, blood draws, EKG’s, and demands for specimens. At about 7:30 the nurse came back to my room to inform me that one of the tests takes 1- 2 days to complete, I asked if they (the results)could be emailed, at which point she informed me that I wouldn’t need them emailed because I wasn’t going anywhere. I started arguing with her but was told, “if you don’t start behaving, I’ll start taking your temperature rectally, at which point I became a perfect gentleman. I did tell her I wanted to see the doctor because I had no intention of staying overnight.
Now, this is what I want each of you to understand, please read these next sentences carefully.The doctor finally came in to inform me that he was going to admit me. I said, “are you admitting me for treatment or for observation?” He told me that I would be admitted for observation. I said Doctor, correct me if I’m wrong, but if you admit me for observation my Medicare will not pay anything, this due to the affordable care act , he said that’s right, it won’t. I then grabbed for my bag of clothing and said, then I’m going home. He said you’re really too sick to be going home, but I understand your position, this health program is going to hit seniors especially hard.
The doctor then left the room and I started getting dressed, I was just getting ready to put my shoes on when another doctor (the closer) came into the room, he saw me dressed and said, “where do you think you are going?” I simply said “I’m going home, to which he replied, quite vociferously, no you aren’t. I said, “Doc, you and I both know that under the “affordable care act” anyone on Medicare who is admitted to a hospital for observation will be responsible for the bill, Medicare won’t pay a cent”. At which point he nodded in affirmation. I said, “You will either admit me for a specific treatment or you won’t admit me.” Realizing he wasn’t going to win this one, he said he would prepare my release papers.
A few minutes later the discharge nurse came to my room to have me sign the necessary papers, relieving them from any responsibility. I told her I wasn’t trying to be obstinate, but I wasn’t going to be burdened with the full (financial) responsibility for my hospital stay.
After making sure the door was closed, she said, “I don’t blame you at all, I would do the same thing.” She went on to say, “You wouldn’t believe the people who elect to leave for the same reasons, people who are deathly sick, people who have to be wheeled out on a gurney.” She further said, “The ‘Affordable Care Act’ is going to be a disaster for seniors. Yet, if you are in this country illegally, and have no coverage, you will be covered in full.”
This is not internet hype folks, this is real, I just experienced it personally. Moving right along, this gets worse.
Today I went to a (required) follow up appointment with my Arizona Family Practitioner. Since my white count was pretty high, the follow up was important. During the visit I shared the experience at emergency, and that I had refused to be admitted. His response was “I don’t blame you at all, I would have done the same thing”. He went on to say that the colonoscopy and other procedures are probably going to be dropped from coverage for those over 70.
I told him that I had heard that the affordable care act would no longer pay for cancer treatment for those 76 and older, is that true? His understanding is that it is true.
The more I hear, and experience the Affordable Care Act, the more I’m beginning to see that we seniors are nothing more than an inconvenience, and the sooner they can get rid of us the better off they’ll be.
November is coming folks, we can have an impact on this debacle by letting everyone in Congress know that their responsibility is to the constituents, not the president and not the lobbyists. We need to let them ALL know that they are in office to serve and to look after the BEST INTERESTS of “we the people”, their employers, and not to become self serving bureaucrats who serve only out of greed. And if they don’t seem to understand this simple logic, we’ll fire them.
On the mend, (signed)
REMEMBER: Demand your hospital admission is for TREATMENT and NOT for OBSERVATION!
SEND THIS TO EVERY SENIOR AND ALL
MILITARY (AVTIVE OR VET) AND LET THEM KNOW THIS IS HOW OUR REPRESENTATIVES ON CAPITOL HILL TREATS THOES THAT RISK IT ALL SO THEY CAN SET UP THERE AND ENJOY
ALL THE BENEFITS THEY EXEMT FROM THE REST OF US.

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