PSA-210918-SENIOR WISDOM

My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness.  I said, “No, we all seem to enjoy it.

“My bucket list:  keep breathing.

Camping:  where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person.

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “close enough.

“Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.

I’m a multi-tasker.  I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time!

At my funeral, take the bouquet from my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.

Retirement to do list:  Wake up. Nailed it!

I won’t say I’m worn out, but I don’t get near the curb on trash day.

Retired:  I don’t have grey hair.  I have wisdom highlights.

I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.

Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done.

I don’t trip and fall, I do random gravity checks.

My heart says chocolate and wine, but my jeans say, please, please, please, eat a salad! 

I’d grow my own food if only I could find bacon seeds.

Losing weight doesn’t seem to be working for me, so from now I’m going to concentrate on getting taller.

 Some people are like clouds, once they disappear it’s a beautiful day.

My body is a temple, ancient and crumbling, perhaps cursed or haunted.

Common sense is not a gift. It’s a punishment because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

PLEASE KEEP YOUR DISTANCE.  Nothing to do with virus.  I’m just a grouch.

I came.  I saw.  I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps.  Got lost on the way back.  Now I have no idea what’s going on.

This is my story and I’m sticking to it.

PSA-210110-First Advice of the Year

Something to Think About

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These 12 short stories are all very good lessons, and really
made us think twice about the daily happenings in our lives as we deal with
others!!
1.
Today, I interviewed my grandmother for part of a research paper I’m working
on for my Psychology class. When I asked her to define success in her own
words, she said, “Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile.”
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2.
Today, I asked my mentor – a very successful business man in his
70s- what his top 3 tips are for success. He smiled and said, “Read
something no one else is reading, think something no one else
is thinking, and do something no one else is doing.”
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3.
Today, after my 72 hour shift at the fire station, a woman ran up to me at the grocery store and gave me a hug. When I tensed up, she realized I didn’trecognize her. She let go with tears of joy in her eyes and the most sinceresmile and said , “On 9-11-2001, you carried me out of the World Trade Center.”
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4.
Today, after I watched my dog get run over by a car, I sat on the side of the road holding him and crying. And just before he died, he licked the tears off my face.
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5.
Today at 7AM, I woke up feeling ill, but decided I needed the
money, so I went into work. At 3PM I got laid off. On my drive home I got
a flat tire. When I went into the trunk for the spare, it was flat too.
A man in a BMW pulled over, gave me a ride, we chatted, and
then he offered me a job. I start tomorrow.
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6.
Today, as my father, three brothers, and two sisters stood
around my mother’s hospital bed, my mother uttered her last coherent
words before she died. She simply said, “I feel so loved right now. We should have
gotten together like this more often.”
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7.
Today, I kissed my dad on the forehead as he passed away in a
small hospital bed. About 5 seconds after he passed, I realized it was the
first time I had given him a kiss since I was a little boy.
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8.
Today, in the cutest voice, my 8-year-old daughter asked me
to start recycling. I chuckled and asked, “Why?”
She replied, “So you can help me save the planet.”
I chuckled again and asked, “And why do you want to save the
planet?” Because that’s where I keep all my stuff,” she said.
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9.
Today, when I witnessed a 27-year-old breast cancer patient
laughing hysterically at her 2-year-old daughter’s antics, I suddenly
realized that I need to stop complaining about my life and start celebrating
it again.
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10.
Today, a boy in a wheelchair saw me desperately struggling on
crutches with my broken leg and offered to carry my backpack and books for
me.
He helped me all the way across campus to my class and as he
was leaving he said, “I hope you feel better soon.”
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11.
Today, I was feeling down because the results of a biopsy
came back malignant. When I got home, I opened an e-mail that said,
“Thinking of you today. If you need me, I’m a phone call away.”
It was from a high school friend I hadn’t seen in 10 years.
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12.
Today, I was traveling in Kenya and I met a refugee from
Zimbabwe.
He said he hadn’t eaten anything in over 3 days and looked
extremely skinny and unhealthy.
Then my friend offered him the rest of the sandwich he was
eating. The first thing the man said was, “We can share it.
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The best sermons are lived, not preached.
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I am glad I have you to send these to.
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These are worth passing on..hope you enjoy them as much as I
did !
God Bless AMERICA.
Land of the FREE because of the BRAVE . . .
Every Morning you wake up with 2 choices
1. You can continue to sleep with your Dreams.
2. You can wake up and CHASE your Dreams….

REMEMBER,
Money can’t buy happiness but poverty can’t buy anything !

Grampa Jim’s Advice

Grampa Jim  didn’t have a formal education, but he was wise.  His favorite advice to us, spoken in Hungarian was this:

“If someone hands you money, accept it graciously.

If someone approaches you with a stick in his hand,

run like hell!”