PSA-210918-SENIOR WISDOM

My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness.  I said, “No, we all seem to enjoy it.

“My bucket list:  keep breathing.

Camping:  where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person.

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “close enough.

“Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.

I’m a multi-tasker.  I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time!

At my funeral, take the bouquet from my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.

Retirement to do list:  Wake up. Nailed it!

I won’t say I’m worn out, but I don’t get near the curb on trash day.

Retired:  I don’t have grey hair.  I have wisdom highlights.

I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.

Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done.

I don’t trip and fall, I do random gravity checks.

My heart says chocolate and wine, but my jeans say, please, please, please, eat a salad! 

I’d grow my own food if only I could find bacon seeds.

Losing weight doesn’t seem to be working for me, so from now I’m going to concentrate on getting taller.

 Some people are like clouds, once they disappear it’s a beautiful day.

My body is a temple, ancient and crumbling, perhaps cursed or haunted.

Common sense is not a gift. It’s a punishment because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

PLEASE KEEP YOUR DISTANCE.  Nothing to do with virus.  I’m just a grouch.

I came.  I saw.  I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps.  Got lost on the way back.  Now I have no idea what’s going on.

This is my story and I’m sticking to it.

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