Seenager

Posted on 18/03/2018 by Grumpa Joe

Seenager
I just discovered my age group!
I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager)
I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 50-60 years later.
I don’t have to go to school or work
I get an allowance every month.
I have my own pad.
I don’t have a curfew.
I have a driver’s license and my own car.
I have ID that gets me into bars and the wine store.  I like the wine store best..
The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant, they aren’t scared of anything, they have been blessed to live this long, why be scared?
And I don’t have acne.
Life is Good!  Also, you will feel much more intelligent after reading this, if you are a Seenager.
Brains of older people are slow because they know so much.
People do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains.
Scientists believe this also makes you hard of hearing as it puts pressure on your inner ear.
Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they get there, they stand there wondering what they came for.
It is NOT a memory problem, it is nature’s way of making older people do more exercise.
SO THERE!!
I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names!
So, please forward this to your friends; they may be my friends, too!
Thank you

Filed under: Aging, Humor | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

Dumbing Down America-2

Posted on 10/03/2016 by Grumpa Joe

I don’t know if any of this is true, but if it is the youth of the USA are in huge trouble. If it isn’t, well its funny.

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Why Teachers Drink!

The following questions were set in last year’s GED examination.
These are genuine answers . . . from 16-year-olds.

Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house, they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

(Shoot yourself now , there is little hope…)

Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
(So true…)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant!)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. the abdomen).
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains
the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels:
A,E,I,O,U.

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby.

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
(That would work!)

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’.
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit…)

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable.)

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (Brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. Once a Arab boy
reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.
(Now we’re getting somewhere…)

Filed under: Education, family, Humor, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , | Leave a comment »