There is one clever person living in Indian Hills.
Filed under: Education, family, Humor | Tagged: Puns, SIgns | Leave a comment »
PSA-180911-Punny Signs
Posted on 11/09/2018 by Grumpa Joe
171229-More Lexophile Fun
Posted on 29/12/2017 by Grumpa Joe
“Lexophile” describes those that have a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “To write with a broken pencil is pointless” An annual competition is held by the New York Times see who can create the best original lexophileThis year’s winning submission is posted at the very end.No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.Im reading a book about anti-gravity. I just cant put it down.I didnt like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.When chemists die, they barium.I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.I changed my iPods name to Titanic. Its syncing now.England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool ..Haunted French pancakes give me the crepesThis girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivoreI know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.I got some batteries that were given out free of chargeA dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.A will is a dead giveaway.With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right nowA bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
Filed under: Education, family, Humor | Tagged: Lexophiles, Puns | 1 Comment »
PSA-170130A-I Can’t Help Myself
Posted on 29/01/2017 by Grumpa Joe
• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Typo.
• I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• I’m reading a book about antigravity. I just can’t put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro what a rip off!
• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
Filed under: family, Humor, Uncategorized | Tagged: Puns | 1 Comment »
Who On Earth Dreams These Up?
Posted on 28/02/2016 by Grumpa Joe
How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
· Venison for dinner again? Oh! Deer.
· A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
· Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
· I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
· They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
· I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
· I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
· When chemists die, they barium.
· I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
· Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
· I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
· Broken pencils are pointless.
· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
· All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen.
The police have nothing to go on.
· I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
· Velcro – what a rip off.
· Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
Filed under: Education, Humor | Tagged: Lexophilia, Puns | 7 Comments »
