PUN-FUN

1.  Never buy flowers from a monk.  Only you can prevent florist friars. 

2.  How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?  A buccaneer.

3.  I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by.  I kneaded the dough. 

4.  My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet.’  It’s a cover band. 

5.  I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it. 

6.  Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c?  Because you can’t see in the dark. 

7.  Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock?  Well, time will tell. 

8.  When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare. 

9.  Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.” 

10.  Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence. 

11.  Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering. 

12.  I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.

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