A Direct Order From the Oval

Posted on 05/06/2014 by Grumpa Joe
IMG_0562

Grumpa Joe Takes Over the Oval With Bic In Hand and Phone at Ear While Assuming Official Presidential Posture.

Grumpa Joe took over the Oval Office this week and assumed command of the country. Using his trusty Bic pen he signed Executive Order EO-987654213 directing all people who have jobs to take the rest of the summer off. His logic: since workers-bees support the non-working half of the country they deserve a nice long rest. The summer  promises beautiful, long, hot, sultry days perfect for lounging around the pool, reading a book in an air-conditioned space, or hanging your feet over the edge of a row-boat swishing  your toes in the warm water while swilling a frosty beverage and drowning a worm hoping a fish will swallow the bait.

At the same time GJ used his Bic to sign the order, he used his 1990’s vintage phone to call Texas Governor Rick Perry to remind him to never forget that a simple transposition of two letters in the name Texas changes it to Taxes. He urged the governor to continue recruiting business to Texas so the 10 percent growth rate can continue unimpaired. GJ suggested he go to Illinois to kill the socialist government of Governor Pat Quinn and shadow governor Madigan by stealing very business still in the state. Illinois and every other socialist state must be killed to save the country.

GJ next called Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, and Ohio Governor John Kasich and urged them to do the same. If all conservative governors steal the business from the socialist states there will be little the machine politicians can do to pay for social programs except to extort heavier taxes from their subjects. If the over-taxed residents also flee to the conservative states for jobs, the socialist governors will have to begin taxing their administrations to pay salaries. Genius isn’t it?

Filed under: Conservative, economy, family, Government, Humor, politics, Satire | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

The Secret Is To Stay Positive

Posted on 03/06/2013 by Grumpa Joe
Pete Souza, Official White House Photographer

Pete Souza, Official White House Photographer (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

This true story is from my yarn telling, bike ridin’ buddy Lou who now lives, and fraternizes with the group in this story.

 

 

 

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.”Hello, President Obama” a heavily accented southern voice said. “This is Jimmy Boy, down here at Bump’s Catfish Shack, in Vicksburg , and I am callin’ to tell ya’ll that we are officially declaring war on y’all!”

 

“Well Jimmy Boy,” Barack replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army?”

 

“Right now,” said Jimmy Boy, after a moments calculation “there is myself, my cousin Tom, my next-door-neighbor, and brother Gerald, and the whole dart team from JD’s Bait Shop. That makes eight or maybe nine depending if Bump can close the store.”

 

Barack paused. “I must tell you Jimmy Boy that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.”

 

“Wow,” said Jimmy Boy. “I’ll have to call ya back!”

 

Sure enough, the next day, Jimmy Boy called again. “Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”

 

“And what equipment would that be Jimmy Boy?” Barack asked.

 

“Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and my brother Mike’s farm tractor.”

 

President Obama sighed. “I must tell you Jimmy Boy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I’ve increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke.”

 

“Lord above”, said Jimmy Boy, “I’ll be getting back to ya.”

 

Sure enough, Jimmy Boy called again the next day. “President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war.”

 

“I’m sorry to hear that” said Barack. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

 

Well, sir,” said Jimmy Boy, “we’ve all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, catfish, greens, and pie, and come to realize that there’s just no way we can feed that many prisoners.”

 

SOUTHERN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN

 

Filed under: Government, Humor, Satire | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

A Main Stream Shift In Opinion

Posted on 10/09/2012 by Grumpa Joe

A billboard along a highway in America

A friend sent me a news article by Scott Paulson a contributing reporter to CBS News. Mr. Paulson relates that he went to see the movie ‘2016’ to decide for himself what the hype was about. Surprisingly he came out wondering what the heck is going on in America.

He comments  “Yet, I’m glad I saw the hyped-film because it was more informative than I had thought it would be and included less propaganda than I had predicted. If anything it was nearly too informative.”

Another quote from the article , “Fact after fact is put forth which shows that President Obama definitely has many skeletons in the closet that have not been released prior to the nation’s trust in him with the Oval Office.”

I beg you to read this article written by a mainstream media reporter. At least there is one in the group we can listen to.

“2016: Obama’s America’ Movie Is Disturbingly Necessary”

You will not be sorry you read this article.

Related articles

Filed under: Conservative, Election, family, politics | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment »