A Direct Order From the Oval

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Grumpa Joe Takes Over the Oval With Bic In Hand and Phone at Ear While Assuming Official Presidential Posture.

Grumpa Joe took over the Oval Office this week and assumed command of the country. Using his trusty Bic pen he signed Executive Order EO-987654213 directing all people who have jobs to take the rest of the summer off. His logic: since workers-bees support the non-working half of the country they deserve a nice long rest. The summer  promises beautiful, long, hot, sultry days perfect for lounging around the pool, reading a book in an air-conditioned space, or hanging your feet over the edge of a row-boat swishing  your toes in the warm water while swilling a frosty beverage and drowning a worm hoping a fish will swallow the bait.

At the same time GJ used his Bic to sign the order, he used his 1990’s vintage phone to call Texas Governor Rick Perry to remind him to never forget that a simple transposition of two letters in the name Texas changes it to Taxes. He urged the governor to continue recruiting business to Texas so the 10 percent growth rate can continue unimpaired. GJ suggested he go to Illinois to kill the socialist government of Governor Pat Quinn and shadow governor Madigan by stealing very business still in the state. Illinois and every other socialist state must be killed to save the country.

GJ next called Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, and Ohio Governor John Kasich and urged them to do the same. If all conservative governors steal the business from the socialist states there will be little the machine politicians can do to pay for social programs except to extort heavier taxes from their subjects. If the over-taxed residents also flee to the conservative states for jobs, the socialist governors will have to begin taxing their administrations to pay salaries. Genius isn’t it?

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