Five Surgeons

This is an old story, but it makes me laugh every time I read it. The problem is that the diagnoses on the fifth patient is so true it is sadder than it is funny. Thanks Rick for today’s chuckle.

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UNTITL~1111

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the Best

patients to operate on.

The first surgeon, from New York, says, ‘I like to see accountants

on my operating table because when you open them up, everything

inside is numbered.’

The second, from Chicago, responds, ‘Yeah, but you should try

electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.’

The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, ‘No, I really think librarians

are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.’

The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: ‘You know, I like

construction workers…Those guys always understand when you have

a few parts left over.’

But the fifth surgeon, from Washington , DC  shut them all up when

he observed: ‘You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on.
There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine..

Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable.’

A Ray of Hope?

For once something sensible has come from socialist California. Perhaps there is a ray of hope for those poor people who live there.

Wouldn’t you like to take your family on vacations in this style? Most of us would simply like to afford a vacation, any way we could get it.

Shouldn’t our leaders, especially the main man in charge show us some good example and compassion by keeping a low profile during tough times?

 

My Three Wishes

English: Seal of the United States Department ...

English: Seal of the United States Department of Homeland Security. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Last night I tossed and turned trying to fall asleep. It was one of those nights when I was so tired I could not keep my eyes open watching TV and finally gave in to the lure of the bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was wide awake feeling aches and pains from every joint in my legs, back, and shoulders. When I finally did fall into a deep sleep, I dreamed. Usually, when a person is in REM sleep, he vividly remember dreams. I dreamt.

A special person visited me in this dream, a fairy God Mother. She looked just like a Disney fairy, all pinkish with a blond pony-tail and long eyelashes, her wings fluttering like a hummingbird’s. God Mother waved her magic wand over my head and sparkle stars twittered all about me. Then, in a sweet soft voice she whispered in my ear, “I’ll give you three wishes. When you wake up you will write them down for me and place the list under your pillow. There is only one condition, each wish must cut a Department of the Federal Bureaucracy.”

I awoke this morning with a king size head ache, and I only drank one glass of Jellybean Cabernet with dinner. I concluded the head ache resulted from trying to decide which three agencies I wanted to close.

At first, I thought this would be easy. There are so many departments to pick on. Which three would give us the biggest bang for the wish? Everyday, I hear about stupid stuff being done by the administration through the agencies. For instance, today there is an article about how a simple stupid program initiated by Bill Clinton to even the playing field for poor black farmers by giving them a subsidy of $50,000 dollars a year has exploded into a mega nightmare. There is fraud being perpetrated by farmers. Like kids who plant a package of seeds and then make a claim. There are many other scams as well. It really got wild when poor Hispanic farmers began crying foul and discrimination. They want a piece of the pie too. So the Department of Agriculture is high on my list this morning, but that does not trump my final selections.

Here are my wishes:

1. The number one department I wish to shut down is the Department of Homeland Security. This is the biggest mistake made by President George Bush after 9/11. I feel so much safer now, don’t you? Especially after we learned the Boston bombers were taking trips to Russia for training, the Russian government warned us, and we failed to act. Yes, I feel so much safer now knowing that DHS with its budget of forty-four billion dollars and  over two hundred thousand employees is vigilantly watching out for us.

Another reason to hack the DHS is their stock pile of bullets, guns, and light armored vehicles. Recently I began reading a book about Hitler’s Gestapo and I immediately thought of the DHS. Is the DHS to become Obama’s Gestapo?

Immigration and  Customs Enforcement (ICE) embedded within the DHS is the one that really scares me. Why? Because they ignore the immigration laws and turn their backs on illegals crossing the southern border by the thousands. The National Review and other sources reported that several thousand illegals have crossed into the US from countries classified as terrorist. How does DHS expect to protect us if it deliberately ignores immigration laws, and allows radicalized muslims to enter?

2. My number two wish is to shut down the Department of Education. The entire country jumped up and down to attack our Second Amendment rights. They are so upset about some wacko kid breaking into a school to shoot kids. Yes, he killed a bunch of first and second graders before killing himself, so our liberal population wants to declare the entire USA a no gun zone. At the same time, these same liberals bury their heads in their anal opening about the travesty being committed by teachers, unions, and school bureaucracies. Teachers fill the kids with ideas designed to promote socialism or other political agendas. Unions protect members and don’t care about teaching kids to read. The worst are the school districts with their massive overheads built only to keep their kingdom growing. To hell with failing kids we need more money to support our pensions and health care plans.

God forbid a school district acknowledge that a competitive charter school can do a better job. Those damned charter schools have proven over and over to work better than public schools, but it means a very large bureaucracy would swallow the Jim Jones Kool aid before they let that happen.

3. My third dream wish is to shut down the EPA, for one reason only. These people pretend to care about our planet, and concoct ideas like Cap and Trade to cut carbon emissions, add methanol to gasoline to reduce the amount of foreign oil, set mpg limits that are totally unreasonable, cut off the water supplies for small towns and not let them rebuild a pipeline from a mountain stream to the town. They limit pollution for the air, water, and what else? Some of it has been good, but they fail in my book for one gigantic reason. They do not take responsibility for allowing the desert across southern USA to become a trash pit. If a single EPA guy took a helicopter ride along the border and several miles inland he would see a trash depository destroying the beauty of a once pristine desert. The thousands of illegals from Mexico, Central America, and Mid-East march through Hell’s Highway and drop bottles, clothing, food, etc, all items we consider as garbage along the way. The desert looks like a landfill on a windy day, from the Pacific ocean in California to Brownsville Texas.

The three wishes lie under my pillow as requested by my Fairy God Mother.

Liberals With Guns

Let me introduce you to Wild Bill. A friend recently introduced me to him and now he is a regular visitor to my site. He is not afraid to report news the “Legitimate Media” will not.

 

Your Sunday Morning Laugh

Note To All Hunters: This is from a San Francisco    newspaper:

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Folks, just remember as you read this, this person probably drives, votes AND may have already reproduced.

 

A Great Cost Analysis

Tax and Spend % GDP 1993-2008

Tax and Spend % GDP 1993-2008 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My cousin Sharon from California always sends me great stuff. Today, she sent me a cost analysis. Because engineers are always looking at the cost of things, I have a special place in my heart for this analogy. How dumb do the Progressives think we the Sheeple are? Or worse yet, do they buy into this preposterous bargain and believe it will save the world?

You may want to follow this advice and have a party with the amount of money you save by cutting back. Just think of all the great social programs you can support for the “good of the people.”

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Do the math.

I’m cutting back and you may want to also….

I’m going to bite the bullet, too!

President Obama ordered the cabinet to cut $100,000,000.00 ($100 million) from the $3,500,000,000,000.00 ($3.5 trillion) federal budget.

I’m so impressed by this sacrifice that I have decided to do the same thing with my personal budget. I spend about $2,000 a month on groceries, household expenses, medicine, utilities, etc., but it’s time to get out the budget cutting axe, go through my expenses, and cut back.

I’m going to cut my spending at exactly the same ratio (1/35,000) of my total budget. After doing the math, it looks like instead of spending $2,000 a month, I’m going to have to cut that number by six cents. Yes, I’m going to have to get by with $1999.94, but that’s what sacrifice is all about.

I’ll just have to do without some things, that are, frankly, luxuries – six cents worth.

Did this President actually think no one would do the math? Please send this to everyone on your list so people understand how idiotic a $100 million cut is in a $3.5 trillion budget – ludicrous!

“There are two ways to conquer and enslave a nation…
One is by sword…
The other is by debt.”
John Adams 1826

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Are you a Looter,

or a

Tax Slave?

im2morro

My Flag Flies Everyday

A passion of mine is watching young people develop into true citizens. Nothing makes me prouder than to hear about, or watch the escapades of my seven grandchildren as they grow. My deceased wife Barbara and I spent well over twenty-five years in the Scouting movement. She in the Girls Scouts, and I with the Boys Scouts. When I watched this video it brought tears of joy to my eyes. Teenager’s who have a grasp on life and express themselves so eloquently fill me with pride. It matters, what we do when we raise our kids. Every action, every comment we make imprints into their sub-conscious. As parents we must be careful of our actions and words in the presence of our young. As a grandparent my outspokenness is often heard by my grandchildren, and it will come back to haunt at a later time. I watch my kids cringe when I say things, or use politically incorrect words in front of the grandchildren.

A few months ago, I had the pleasure of meeting Charlie Kirk a high school senior who founded an organization called “Turning Point USA.” His message is much like the one in the video below. Now, a new group called “im2morro”  co-founded by teen Audrea Taylor have  joined to do something about securing their future. I recommend you visit their websites and learn more about them. They are the future of America.

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