My Three Wishes

English: Seal of the United States Department ...

English: Seal of the United States Department of Homeland Security. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Last night I tossed and turned trying to fall asleep. It was one of those nights when I was so tired I could not keep my eyes open watching TV and finally gave in to the lure of the bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was wide awake feeling aches and pains from every joint in my legs, back, and shoulders. When I finally did fall into a deep sleep, I dreamed. Usually, when a person is in REM sleep, he vividly remember dreams. I dreamt.

A special person visited me in this dream, a fairy God Mother. She looked just like a Disney fairy, all pinkish with a blond pony-tail and long eyelashes, her wings fluttering like a hummingbird’s. God Mother waved her magic wand over my head and sparkle stars twittered all about me. Then, in a sweet soft voice she whispered in my ear, “I’ll give you three wishes. When you wake up you will write them down for me and place the list under your pillow. There is only one condition, each wish must cut a Department of the Federal Bureaucracy.”

I awoke this morning with a king size head ache, and I only drank one glass of Jellybean Cabernet with dinner. I concluded the head ache resulted from trying to decide which three agencies I wanted to close.

At first, I thought this would be easy. There are so many departments to pick on. Which three would give us the biggest bang for the wish? Everyday, I hear about stupid stuff being done by the administration through the agencies. For instance, today there is an article about how a simple stupid program initiated by Bill Clinton to even the playing field for poor black farmers by giving them a subsidy of $50,000 dollars a year has exploded into a mega nightmare. There is fraud being perpetrated by farmers. Like kids who plant a package of seeds and then make a claim. There are many other scams as well. It really got wild when poor Hispanic farmers began crying foul and discrimination. They want a piece of the pie too. So the Department of Agriculture is high on my list this morning, but that does not trump my final selections.

Here are my wishes:

1. The number one department I wish to shut down is the Department of Homeland Security. This is the biggest mistake made by President George Bush after 9/11. I feel so much safer now, don’t you? Especially after we learned the Boston bombers were taking trips to Russia for training, the Russian government warned us, and we failed to act. Yes, I feel so much safer now knowing that DHS with its budget of forty-four billion dollars and  over two hundred thousand employees is vigilantly watching out for us.

Another reason to hack the DHS is their stock pile of bullets, guns, and light armored vehicles. Recently I began reading a book about Hitler’s Gestapo and I immediately thought of the DHS. Is the DHS to become Obama’s Gestapo?

Immigration and  Customs Enforcement (ICE) embedded within the DHS is the one that really scares me. Why? Because they ignore the immigration laws and turn their backs on illegals crossing the southern border by the thousands. The National Review and other sources reported that several thousand illegals have crossed into the US from countries classified as terrorist. How does DHS expect to protect us if it deliberately ignores immigration laws, and allows radicalized muslims to enter?

2. My number two wish is to shut down the Department of Education. The entire country jumped up and down to attack our Second Amendment rights. They are so upset about some wacko kid breaking into a school to shoot kids. Yes, he killed a bunch of first and second graders before killing himself, so our liberal population wants to declare the entire USA a no gun zone. At the same time, these same liberals bury their heads in their anal opening about the travesty being committed by teachers, unions, and school bureaucracies. Teachers fill the kids with ideas designed to promote socialism or other political agendas. Unions protect members and don’t care about teaching kids to read. The worst are the school districts with their massive overheads built only to keep their kingdom growing. To hell with failing kids we need more money to support our pensions and health care plans.

God forbid a school district acknowledge that a competitive charter school can do a better job. Those damned charter schools have proven over and over to work better than public schools, but it means a very large bureaucracy would swallow the Jim Jones Kool aid before they let that happen.

3. My third dream wish is to shut down the EPA, for one reason only. These people pretend to care about our planet, and concoct ideas like Cap and Trade to cut carbon emissions, add methanol to gasoline to reduce the amount of foreign oil, set mpg limits that are totally unreasonable, cut off the water supplies for small towns and not let them rebuild a pipeline from a mountain stream to the town. They limit pollution for the air, water, and what else? Some of it has been good, but they fail in my book for one gigantic reason. They do not take responsibility for allowing the desert across southern USA to become a trash pit. If a single EPA guy took a helicopter ride along the border and several miles inland he would see a trash depository destroying the beauty of a once pristine desert. The thousands of illegals from Mexico, Central America, and Mid-East march through Hell’s Highway and drop bottles, clothing, food, etc, all items we consider as garbage along the way. The desert looks like a landfill on a windy day, from the Pacific ocean in California to Brownsville Texas.

The three wishes lie under my pillow as requested by my Fairy God Mother.

4 Responses

  1. Joe, I nearly got amnesia waiting for you to respond to the second sentence of my comment. Har, har. 🙂

    During all those months of Republican candidate debates, did you watch the Real Clear Politics (or any other) polling of approval ratings of the candidates? It was so interesting to see, one by one, the various candidates shoot up, hold a peak, then fade after some gaffe or personal revelation. I don’t recall exactly what order they occurred in, but Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum…each of them had their ride. They each crested near of slightly above the approval level of Romney, then dropped like a rock. I think even Michelle Bachman had a brief ride. Only Huntsman and Paul never had a bump, if I recall.

    Anyway, it really showed that the voters being polled sure wanted to latch onto someone more explosive than Romney, but “explosions” can be either good or bad. In the end, Romney was the only consistent one. He was already so well known that there were no big revelations or gaffes, until the “47%” thing came out…which obviously the left was sitting on until the right moment.

    It was an interesting, if painfully disappointing, campaign season.

    Hope you’re preparing to give your better half a Happy Mother’s Day!

    Cheers,
    – Jeff

  2. I think you got the correct 3. And you didn’t have amnesia trying to remember the last one, like Rick Perry.
    – Jeff

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