Old Guys Rule

Posted on 08/03/2016 by Grumpa Joe

up-movie-11.jpg

Wisdom Of A Senior

There is no senior discount for reading this!!!

Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that, at my age, I don’t really give a rat’s ass anymore.

If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat.

A rabbit runs, and hops, and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn’t run, and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And they tell us to exercise? I don’t think so.

Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

3. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?

6. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser.

7. Some days, you’re the top dog, some days you’re the hydrant.

8. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.

9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

11. It is hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

12. The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom.

13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.

14. When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.

15. It is not hard to meet expenses . . . They’re everywhere.

16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth..

17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . . I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m “here after”.

18. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.

20. Have I sent this message to you before…or did I get it from you?

Filed under: Aging, Humor, Uncategorized | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

Deja Vu

Posted on 03/05/2015 by Grumpa Joe

If you read this and think you have read it here before it is because you have. This is one of my favorite pieces of wisdom to impart to my readers. If you receive an email with this post and it describes Regina as a ninety or ninety-three year old, I wish you look as good as Regina does at this age.

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!

> Written by Regina Brett

10998303_10152764000194499_5915725966378485872_n

> “To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.

> 1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

> 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

> 3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

> 4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

> 5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

> 6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

> 7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

> 8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

> 9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

> 10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

> 11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

> 12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

> 13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

> 14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

> 15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don’t worry, God never blinks.

> 16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

> 17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

> 18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

> 19.. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

> 20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

> 21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

> 22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

> 23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

> 24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

> 25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

> 26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

> 27. Always choose life.

> 28. Forgive

> 29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

> 30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

> 31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

> 32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

> 33. Believe in miracles.

> 34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

> 35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

> 36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

> 37. Your children get only one childhood.

> 38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

> 39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

> 40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

> 41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need

> 42. The best is yet to come…

> 43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

> 44. Yield.

> 45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

Filed under: family, Tree of Life | Tagged: , | 2 Comments »

Time Gets Better With Age

Posted on 31/03/2014 by Grumpa Joe

A good friend surprised me today with this wonderful insight into the development of insight as we age.

Thanks Chuck, I really enjoyed this.

Auto-Bio0067

Grumpa Joe, Grampa Jim, and Sis

Time Gets Better with Age

Read it through to the end, it gets better as you go!

I’ve learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing “Silent Night”.
Age 5

I’ve learned that our dog doesn’t want to eat my broccoli either.
Age 7

I’ve learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back.
Age 9

I’ve learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again.
Age 12

I’ve learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
Age 14

I’ve learned that although it’s hard to admit it, I’m secretly glad my parents are strict with me.
Age 15

I’ve learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice.
Age 24

I’ve learned that brushing my child’s hair is one of life’s great pleasures.
Age 26

I’ve learned that wherever I go, the world’s worst drivers have followed me there.
Age 29

I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
Age 30

I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don’t know how to show it.
Age 42

I’ve learned that you can make someone’s day by simply sending them a little note.
Age 44

I’ve learned that the greater a person’s sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others.
Age 46

I’ve learned that children and grandparents are natural allies.
Age 47

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on and it will be better tomorrow.
Age 48

I’ve learned that singing “Amazing Grace” can lift my spirits for hours.
Age 49

I’ve learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.
Age 50

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.
Age 51

I’ve learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills.
Age 52

I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die.
Age 53

I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life.
Age 58

I’ve learned that if you want to do something positive for your children, work to improve your marriage.
Age 61

I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
Age 62

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
Age 64

I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people, and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
Age 65

I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision.
Age 66

I’ve learned that everyone can use a prayer.
Age 72

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.
Age 82

I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch – holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
Age 90

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.
Age 92

 

Filed under: Characters I knew, family, Society, Tree of Life | Tagged: , , , , | 13 Comments »

Happy Mother’s Day

Posted on 09/05/2010 by Grumpa Joe

Here is a piece of wisdom sent to me by a good friend. Have a happy Mother’s Day.

 

WHAT I OWE MY MOTHER: 


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
‘If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I 
just finished cleaning.’ 2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
‘You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.’

 
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL 
‘If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!’

 
4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
‘ Because I said so, that’s why.’

 
5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
‘If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, 
you’re not going to the store with me.’ 

 
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
‘Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.’ 

 
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
‘Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry 
about.’

 
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
‘Shut your mouth and eat your supper.’ 

 
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
‘Will you look at that dirt on the back of your 
neck!’

 
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA 
‘You’ll sit there until all that SOUP is gone.’

 
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER ..
‘This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.’

 
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY 
‘If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!’

 
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
‘I brought you into this world, and I can take you 
out.’ 

 
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
‘Stop acting like your father!’

 
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
‘There are millions of less fortunate children in 
this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do..’ 

 
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
‘Just wait until we get home.’

 
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
‘You are going to get it when you get home!’

 
18. 
My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
‘If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going 
to get stuck that way.’

 
19. My mother taught me ESP .
‘Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?’

 
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR .
‘When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me..’

 
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN 
ADULT .
‘If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow 
up.’ 

 
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
‘You’re just like your father.’

 
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
‘Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?’ 

 
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
‘When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.’

 
25. And my favorite: 
My mother taught me about JUSTICE
‘One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out 
just like you ‘

Number 25 is my all time favorite. My kids did all turn out just like me, and I couldn’t be prouder.
 

Filed under: Characters I knew, family, Memories, Warm and Fuzzy | Tagged: , , | Leave a comment »

New Year Prayer

Posted on 31/12/2009 by Grumpa Joe

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

. . . Rhinehold Niebuhr

Happy New Year!

Filed under: Characters I knew, Conservative, family, liberals, Motivation, religion, Society | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

« Previous Page