Points to Ponder

Just can’t take things too seriously

The devil whispered to me, “I’m coming for you.”  I whispered back, “Bring pizza.”

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.

It’s weird being the same age as old people.

When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected.

Life is like a helicopter.  I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Chocolate is God’s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.

It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.

Marriage Counselor:    Your wife says you never buy her flowers.  Is that true?

Him:   To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.

Never sing in the shower!  Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked.  So remember…Don’t sing!

My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make the food right in front of you.  So I took her to Subway and that’s how the fight started.

During the middle ages they celebrated the end of the plague with wine and orgies.  Does anyone know if there is anything planned when this one ends?

I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say “wow” that many times in your first session, but here we are…

I see people about my age mountain climbing;  I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

We can all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct to, ‘Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?’

So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?

If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.”  That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.

I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.

Coronacoaster    noun:  the ups and downs of a pandemic.  One day you’re loving your bubble, doing work-outs, baking banana bread and going for long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like.

Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you.  Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.

I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.

I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.

How many of us have looked around our family reunion and thought “Well, aren’t we just two clowns short of a circus?”

You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Time, Age, & Wisdom

I received this from a very good friend just as I was going through a particularly bad time in my life. It cheered me.

Time, Age, & Wisdom

Age 5

I’ve learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing “Silent Night.”

Age 7 

I’ve learned that our dog doesn’t want to eat my broccoli either. 

Age 9 
I’ve learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back. 

Age 12  
I’ve learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again. 

Age 14 
I’ve learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.

Age 15 
I’ve learned that although it’s hard to admit it, I’m secretly glad my parents are strict with me. 

Age 24

I’ve learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice.

 
Age 26

I’ve learned that brushing my child’s hair is one of life’s great pleasures.  

Age 29 
I’ve learned that wherever I go, the world’s worst drivers have followed me there. 

Age 30 
I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.

 
Age 42 
I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don’t know how to show it.

 
Age 44 
I’ve learned that you can make someone’s day by simply sending them a little note

Age 46 
I’ve learned that the greater a person’s sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others.

 
Age 47
I’ve learned that children and grandparents are natural allies. 


Age 48 
I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on and it will be better tomorrow.

 
Age 49 

I’ve learned that singing “Amazing Grace” can lift my spirits for hours. 

Age 50 
I’ve learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone. 

 
Age 51 
I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

 
Age 52 
I’ve learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills.

Age53

I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die.

  
Age 58 

I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life.

 
Age 62
I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

 
Age 64 
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back. 


Age 65 
I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people, 
And doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

 
Age 66 
I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision

 
Age 72 
I’ve learned that everyone can use a prayer.

 
Age 74 
I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.

 
Age 76 
I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch – holding hands, a warm hug, 
Or just a friendly pat on the back.

  
Age 78 
I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

 
Age 80+ 
I’ve learned that life is what you make it, and your life is much better when you make someone happy. 

****** 

I’ve learned that you should pass this on to someone you care about Sometimes they just need a little something to make them smile.

If Things Get Better With Age Then I’m Approaching Excellent.

“Old Friends are the best friends!”

“Thank you for being an “OLD FRIEND”

PSA-170205-Philosophy 101

Philosophy 101

As we grow older, and hence wiser, we slowly realize that:

Whether we wear a $300 or $30 watch – – – they both tell the same time.

Whether we carry a $300 or $30 wallet/handbag – – – the amount of money inside is the same.

Whether we drink a bottle of $300 or $30 or $3 wine – – – the hangover is the same.

Whether the house we live in is 300 or 3,000 or 30,000 sq. ft. – – – the loneliness is the same.

And we realize our true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world.

Whether we fly first or economy class, if the plane goes down – – – we go down with it.

Whether we fly first or economy class, if the plane reaches its destination – – – everyone arrives at the same time.

We should realize that when we have mates, buddies and old friends, brothers and sisters, with whom we can chat, laugh, talk, sing, talk about north- south-east-west or heaven
and earth — that is true happiness.

Six Undeniable Facts of Life

1. Don’t educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy, so when they grow up they will know the value of things, not the price.

2. Best wise words: “Eat your food as your medicines. Otherwise you have to eat medicines as your food.”

3. The one who loves you will never leave you because, even if there are 100 reasons to give up, he or she will find one reason to hold on.

4. There is a big difference between a human being and being human. Only a few folks really understand that.

5. You are loved when you are born. You will be loved when you die. In between, you have to manage.

6. If you just want to walk fast, walk alone; but, if you want to walk far, walk together.

Six Best Doctors in the World

1. Sunlight
2. Rest
3. Exercise
4. Diet
5. Self Confidence
6. Friends

And, finally: The nicest place to be is in someone’s thoughts, the safest place to be is in someone’s prayers, and the very best place to be is….in the hands of God.

PSA-150529

It is important that I provide service to the community, and therefore, I issue Public Service Announcements like the one below. No need to thank me, just hit the like button.

The Importance of Walking

Seniors walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he’s 97 years old
and we don’t know where he is.

I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I’m doing..

I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven’t lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’,
I wash my mouth out with wine.

The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they’ll say,
‘Well, he looks good doesn’t he.’

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,……
just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older,
because there’s a lot more information in our heads.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.

Too Close For Comfort

Okay all you whipper-snappers out there who are under my age, I appreciate this song more than you know. Just don’t bother sending it to me again. Thanks good buddy Mike, these lyrics really made a point we should both remember.

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