GOD’S Accuracy

Posted on 30/12/2020 by Grumpa Joe

GOD’S ACCURACY 

 When GOD solves our problems, we have faith in HIS abilities. When GOD doesn’t solve our problems, HE has faith in our abilities. 

One may observe God’s accuracy in the hatching of eggs. . . . 
those of the canary in 14 days;
those of the barnyard hen in 21 days;
eggs of ducks and geese in 28 days;
those of the mallard in 35 days;
the eggs of the parrot and the ostrich hatch in 42 days. (Notice, they are all divisible by seven, the number of days in a week!) 

 See God’s wisdom in the making of an elephant. . . . 
The four legs of this great beast all bend forward in the same direction. No other quadruped is so made.
God planned that this animal would have a huge body – too large to live on two legs. For this reason He gave
it four fulcrums so that it can rise from the ground easily. The horse rises from the ground on its two front legs first.
A cow rises from the ground with its two hind legs first.  How wise the Lord is in all His works of creation!  Each watermelon has an even number of stripes on the rind.  Each orange has an even number of segments. 
Each ear of corn has an even number of rows. 
Each stalk of wheat has an even number of grains. Every bunch of bananas has on its lowest row an even number of bananas, and each row decreases by one, so that one row has an even number and the next row an odd number. 

 Amazing! There’s more…  The waves of the sea roll in on shore twenty-six to the minute in all kinds of weather.  All grains are found in even numbers on the stalks.  God has caused the flowers to blossom at certain specified times during the day. Linnaeus, the great botanist, once said that if he had a conservatory containing the right kind of soil, moisture, and temperature, he could tell the time of day or night by the flowers that were open and those that were closed.  The lives of each of us may be ordered by the Lord in a beautiful way for His glory, if we will only entrust Him with our lives. If we try to regulate our own lives, we will have only mess and failure.  Only God, who made our brains and hearts, can successfully guide them to a profitable end.  

When you carry the Bible, Satan has a headache; when you open it, he collapses.  When he sees you reading it, he loses his strength, and when you stand on the Word of God, Satan can’t hurt you! And did you also know…  …that when you are about to forward this email to others, the devil will probably try to discourage you, but do it anyway. Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil – it has no point.

 I pray God bless you in ways you never even dreamed. I didn’t think twice about forwarding this one – and I hope you don’t, either. Pass on the blessings!!

Filed under: Education, family, religion | Tagged: , , | Leave a comment »

PSA-200812-Seniorisms

Posted on 12/08/2020 by Grumpa Joe

TWELVE COMMANDMENTS FOR SENIORS

#1 – Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.

#2 – “In Style” are the clothes that still fit. 

#3 – You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop making you mad. 

#4 – Your people skills are just fine. It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work. 

#5 – The biggest lie you tell yourself is, “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.” 

#6 – “On time” is when you get there. 

#7 – Even duct tape can’t fix stupid – but it sure does muffle the sound. 

#8 – It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

#9 – Lately, You’ve noticed people your age are so much older than you. 

#10 – Growing old should have taken longer. 

#11 – Aging has slowed you down, but it hasn’t shut you up. 

#12 – You still haven’t learned to act your age, and hope you never will. 

And one more:

“One for the road” means going to the bathroom before you leave the house.

 AMEN

Filed under: Aging, Humor, Seniors | Tagged: , , | 6 Comments »

Time, Age, & Wisdom

Posted on 30/06/2020 by Grumpa Joe

I received this from a very good friend just as I was going through a particularly bad time in my life. It cheered me.

Time, Age, & Wisdom

Age 5

I’ve learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing “Silent Night.”

Age 7 

I’ve learned that our dog doesn’t want to eat my broccoli either. 

Age 9 
I’ve learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back. 

Age 12  
I’ve learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again. 

Age 14 
I’ve learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.

Age 15 
I’ve learned that although it’s hard to admit it, I’m secretly glad my parents are strict with me. 

Age 24

I’ve learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice.

 
Age 26

I’ve learned that brushing my child’s hair is one of life’s great pleasures.  

Age 29 
I’ve learned that wherever I go, the world’s worst drivers have followed me there. 

Age 30 
I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.

 
Age 42 
I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don’t know how to show it.

 
Age 44 
I’ve learned that you can make someone’s day by simply sending them a little note

Age 46 
I’ve learned that the greater a person’s sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others.

 
Age 47
I’ve learned that children and grandparents are natural allies. 


Age 48 
I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on and it will be better tomorrow.

 
Age 49 

I’ve learned that singing “Amazing Grace” can lift my spirits for hours. 

Age 50 
I’ve learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone. 

 
Age 51 
I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

 
Age 52 
I’ve learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills.

Age53

I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die.

  
Age 58 

I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life.

 
Age 62
I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

 
Age 64 
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back. 


Age 65 
I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people, 
And doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

 
Age 66 
I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision

 
Age 72 
I’ve learned that everyone can use a prayer.

 
Age 74 
I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.

 
Age 76 
I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch – holding hands, a warm hug, 
Or just a friendly pat on the back.

  
Age 78 
I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

 
Age 80+ 
I’ve learned that life is what you make it, and your life is much better when you make someone happy. 

****** 

I’ve learned that you should pass this on to someone you care about Sometimes they just need a little something to make them smile.

If Things Get Better With Age Then I’m Approaching Excellent.

“Old Friends are the best friends!”

“Thank you for being an “OLD FRIEND”

Filed under: Aging, Cartoons, family, Warm and Fuzzy | Tagged: , , , | Leave a comment »

PSA-180117-God’s Wisdom Revealed

Posted on 17/01/2018 by Grumpa Joe

gods-wisdom.png


When GOD solves our problems,
we have faith in HIS abilities.
When GOD doesn’t solve our problems,
HE has faith in our abilities.
 
 One may observe God’s accuracy in the hatching of eggs…
those of the Canary in 14 days;
those of the Barnyard Hen in 21 days;
Eggs of Ducks and Geese in 28 days;
those of the Mallard in 35 days;
Eggs of the Parrot and the Ostrich hatch in 42 days.
 
 (Notice, they are all divisible by seven,
the number of days in a week!)
 
 See God’s Wisdom in the making of an Elephant…
The four legs of this great beast
all bend forward in the same direction.
No other quadruped is so made.
God planned that this animal would have a huge body…
too large to live on two legs.
For this reason He gave it four fulcrums
so that it can rise from the ground easily.
The Horse rises from the ground on its two front legs first.
A Cow rises from the ground with its two hind legs first.
 
 How wise the Lord is in all His works of Creation!
 
 Each Watermelon has an even number of stripes on the Rind.
 
 Each Orange has an even number of segments.
Each ear of Corn has an even number of rows.
Each stalk of Wheat has an even number of grains.
 
 Every bunch of Bananas has on its lowest row
an even number of Bananas,
and each row decreases by one,
so that one row has an even number
and the next row an odd number.
 
 Amazing!
There’s more…
 
 The Waves of the Sea roll in on shore
Twenty-six to the Minute in all kinds of weather.
 
 All Grains are found in even numbers on the stalks..
 
 God has caused the Flowers to Blossom
at certain specified times during the day.
Linnaeus,
the Great Botanist,
once said that if he had a Conservatory
containing the right kind of Soil,
Moisture,
and Temperature,
he could tell the Time of Day or Night
by the Flowers that were Open
and those that were Closed.
 
 The Lives of each of us
may be ordered by the Lord
in a Beautiful Way for His Glory,
if we will only Entrust Him with our Lives.
If we try to Regulate our own Lives,
we will have only Mess and Failure.
 
 Only God,
who made our Brains and Hearts,
can Successfully Guide them to a Profitable End.
 
 When you carry the Bible,
Satan has a Headache;
when you Open it,
he Collapses.
 
 When he sees you Reading it,
he loses his Strength,
and when you Stand on the Word of God,
Satan can’t Hurt you!
 
 Life without God is like an Unsharpened pencil – it has no Point.
 
 I pray God bless you in ways you never even Dreamed.
I didn’t think twice about forwarding this one.

Filed under: family, Warm and Fuzzy | Tagged: , | Leave a comment »

PSA-170414-Wisdom

Posted on 14/04/2017 by Grumpa Joe
Andy Rooney was a very wise man. Every week I looked forward to his reports on Sixty Minutes. Usually, he said in five minutes stuff that was better than the previous fifty-five.
Here are some of the things he offered us.
hqdefault-5.jpg
I’ve learned….That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
—-
I’ve learned….That when you’re in love, it shows.
I’ve learned ….That just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.
—
I’ve learned….That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
—
I’ve learned….That being kind is more important than being right. 
—
I’ve learned….That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
—
I’ve learned….That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in any other way.
I’ve learned….That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I’ve learned….That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I’ve learned….That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I’ve learned….That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I’ve learned….That money doesn’t buy class.
I’ve learned….That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I’ve learned…That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I’ve learned….That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I’ve learned….That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I’ve learned….That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I’ve learned….That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I’ve learned….That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I’ve learned….That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I’ve learned….That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
I’ve learned….That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I’ve learned….That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I’ve learned….That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
I’ve learned….That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I’ve learned….That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I’ve learned….That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, you’re hooked for life.
I’ve learned….That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
I’ve learned….That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Filed under: Aging, Characters I knew, family | Tagged: , | Leave a comment »

« Previous Page — Next Page »