An Old Farmer’s Advice:

Posted on 21/01/2022 by Grumpa Joe

Cut from an anonymous donor on Facebook

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered…not yelled.

* Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies, it messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.

* Don’t judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good and honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.

* Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin’ you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is to stop diggin’.

* Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every mornin’.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.

* If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

*Leave the rest to God.

Filed under: Aging, Characters I knew, family, Humor | Tagged: , , | Leave a comment »

210928-Senior Wisdom

Posted on 28/09/2021 by Grumpa Joe

TWELVE COMMANDMENTS FOR SENIORS….

#1 – Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.

#2 – “In Style” are the clothes that still fit.

#3 – You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop making you mad.

#4 – Your people skills are just fine. It’s your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

#5 – The biggest lie you tell yourself is, “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”

#6 – “On time” is when you get there.

#7 – Even duct tape can’t fix stupid, but it sure does muffle the sound.

#8 – It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!

#9 – Lately, you’ve noticed people your age are so much older than you.

#10 – Growing old should have taken longer.

#11 – Aging has slowed you down, but it hasn’t shut you up.

#12 – You still haven’t learned to act your age and hope you never will..

Bonus: “One for the road” means a stop in the bathroom before you leave the house.

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Just Sayin’

Posted on 28/07/2021 by Grumpa Joe

1 – Eleven teens die each day because of texting while driving. Maybe it’s time to raise the age of Smart Phone ownership to 21.

 2 – If gun control laws actually worked, Chicago would be Mayberry , USA .

 3 – The Second Amendment makes more women equal than the entire feminist movement.

 4 – Legal gun owners have 300 million guns and probably a trillion rounds of ammo. Seriously, folks, if we were the problem, you’d know it.

 5 – When JFK was killed, nobody blamed the rifle.

 6 – The NRA (National Rifle Association) murders 0 people and receives ($$$$ 0) nothing in government funds. Planned Parenthood kills 350,000 babies every year and receives $500,000,000 in tax dollars annually.

 7 – I have no problem with vigorous background checks when it comes to firearms. While we’re at it, let’s do the same when it comes to immigration, Voter ID., and candidates running for office.

 8 – Folks keep talking about another Civil War. One side knows how to shoot and probably has a trillion rounds The other side has crying closets and is confused about which bathroom to use. Now tell me, how do you think that would end?

Don’t be afraid to share this. There’s more logic and common sense expressed here than probably anything you have seen on the news today.

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Swamp Wisdom

Posted on 28/07/2021 by Grumpa Joe

The new “Will Rogers”

 Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy graduated Magna cum Laude from
Vanderbilt, has a Law degree from University of Virginia and a degree
from Oxford in England. He is no country bumpkin; he is very
insightful and has a unique sense of humor.


 Comment about Cuomo lecturing us. “It is like a frog calling you
ugly.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
 
“This election in GA will be the most important in history, you
have nothing to worry about unless you are a taxpayer, parent, gun
owner, cop, person of faith, or an unborn baby!”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
 
Senator John Kennedy from Louisiana describes Democrats as
the “well intended arugula and tofu crowd.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
 
“You can only be young once, but you can always be immature.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Americans are thinking, there are some good members of
Congress, but we can’t figure out what they are good for. Others
are thinking, how did these morons make it through the birth
canal.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Always follow your heart…..but take your brains with you.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy


“The short answer is ‘No.’ The long answer is ‘Hell No.’”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“It must suck to be that dumb.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“When the Portland mayor’s IQ gets to 75, he oughta sell.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
“Go sell your crazy somewhere else…we are all stocked up here.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“She has a Billy goat brain and a mockingbird mouth!”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

Sen. John Kennedy (R., La.) said on Wednesday that he “trusted
Middle Eastern countries as much as gas station sushi, with the
exception being
Israel.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“You can get a goat to climb tree, but you’d be better off hiring a
squirrel.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“This has been going on since Moby Dick was a minnow.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
 
“Don’t stand between a dog and a fire hydrant.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Our country was founded by geniuses, but it’s being run by idiots”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
 
“It appears that he might do the right thing, but only when
supervised and cornered like a rat.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy
 
“This is why aliens won’t talk to us.”
– Louisiana Sen John Kennedy

“Democrats are running around like they found a hair in their
biscuit.”
– Louisiana Sen. John Kennedy

“Chuck Schumer just moo’s and follows Nancy Pelosi into the cow
chute.”

 

 

 

—

In God we trust

_Those who disrespect our flag were never handed a folded one._

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Filed under: Aging, Conservative, family, Humor | Tagged: | 1 Comment »

An Interesting Perspective

Posted on 30/10/2020 by Grumpa Joe

I received this post from a friend who got it from a friend. Just who wrote it is unknown. I do know that I have seen these figures before and believe them to be accurate. I have also heard this argument before, and it is plausible.

NUMBERS TELL TRUTH   These numbers help explain why these last eight years prior to DJ Trump were disastrous for the USA. I read the last item and then looked at Trump’s Cabinet. No wonder Washington, DC is in turmoil. Trump’s picks are bosses who expect their employees to work. These are Eye Opening Numbers. This is what bothers a lot of people about Trump. He won’t accept a can’t do attitude, or inexperienced, incompetent performance. He will get results; it just might not be smooth or pretty.    Here are some amazing stats: Make sure you read to the bottom. An eye-opener!

 1 . These 10 States now have more people on welfare than they employ!

 California, New Mexico, Mississippi, Alabama, Illinois, Kentucky, Ohio, New York, Maine, and South Carolina 2 . Last month, the Senate Budget Committee reports that in fiscal year 2012, between food stamps, housing support, childcare, Medicaid and other benefits, the average U.S. Household below the poverty line received $168.00 a day in government support. What’s the problem with that much support? Well, the average household income in America is just over $50,000, which averages out to $137.13 a day. To put it another way, being on welfare now pays the equivalent of $30.00 an hour for 40 hour week, while the average job pays $24.00 an hour.

 3 . Check the last set of statistics!!   The percentage of each past president’s cabinet who had worked in the private business sector prior to their appointment to the cabinet. You know what the private business sector is: A real-life business not a government job.

 Here are the percentages:

38% T. Roosevelt 
40% Taft 
52% Wilson 
49% Harding 
48% Coolidge 
42% Hoover 
50% F. D. Roosevelt 
50% Truman 
57% Eisenhower 
30% Kennedy 
47% Johnson 
53% Nixon 
42% Ford 
32% Carter 
56% Reagan 
51% GH Bush 
39% Clinton 
55% GW Bush 
8% Obama       
90% Trump     

   This helps explain the bias, if not the incompetence, of the last administration: ONLY 8% of them had ever worked in private business! That’s right! Only eight percent – the least, by far of the last 19 presidents! And these people tried to tell our corporations how to run their businesses? How could Obama, president of a major nation and society, the one with the most successful economic system in world history, stand and talk about business when he’s never worked for one?? Or about jobs when he has never really had one? And, when it’s the same for 92% of his senior staff and closest advisers? They spent most of their time in academia, government, and/or non-profit jobs or as “community organizers.”    

I hope you are including DJT in your daily prayers, because if he fails to be President for the next five years, we may never be the same again at any time in the future save an armed revolution, and today, even that would be an iffy proposition..

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