PSA-160309

diy-thumb-hammer-accident-incident-injured-pfen26_low.jpg

*TOOLS EXPLAINED*

*DRILL PRESS:* A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat
metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and
flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which
you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it. (I’ve done it)

*WIRE WHEEL:* Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under
the workbench with the speed of light . Also removes fingerprints and
hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say,
‘Oh shit!'(I’ve done it)

*SKIL SAW:* A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.(I’ve done it)

*PLIERS:* Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.(I’ve done it)

*BELT SANDER:* An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

*HACKSAW:* One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
principle… It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable
motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal
your future becomes.(I’ve done it)

*VISE-GRIPS:* Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer
intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.(I’ve done it)

*OXYACETYLENE TORCH:* Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the
wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing.

*TABLE SAW:* A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood
projectiles for testing wall integrity.(I’ve done it)

*HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:* Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle
firmly under the bumper.

*BAND SAW:* A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to
cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the
trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside
edge.(Do it all the time)

*TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:* A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of
everything you forgot to disconnect.

*PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:* Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids
or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your
shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips
screw heads.(I’ve done it)

*STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:* A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your
palms.(I’ve done it)

*PRY BAR:* A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part. (I’ve done it)

*HOSE CUTTER:* A tool used to make hoses too short. (I’ve done it)

*HAMMER:* Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent
the object we are trying to hit. It is especially valuable at being able
to find the EXACT location of the thumb or index finger of the other hand. (I’ve done it)

*UTILITY KNIFE:* Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents
such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector
magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful
for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.(I’ve done it)

*SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL:* (A personal favorite!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling ‘Son of a BITCH!’ at the top
of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need. (This happens to me all the time)

I hope you found this informative.

My record of committing the above sins is 15/19, that is the voice of experience, er stupidity speaking.

*THINK SAFETY*

2013 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 27,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 10 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

 

Hand Made In the USA

One of my favorite times at Mendel was the wood shop class. The class met three times a week for two hours. I had some exposure to woodworking from my grammar school experiences at the Tuley Park boat building shop. This class was different. Father Hennessey, my instructor, believed in teaching the basics. At Tuley Park, I jumped into a project and started cutting wood. At Mendel, I had to learn the name and function of every tool before Father let me touch a single one.

For the first assignment, Father H. gave me a block of maple wood to square up using only a chisel and a square. It sounded too easy, but I almost didn’t finish the assignment on time. Father H. came around the benches and asked for the piece. He inspected every corner, every edge, and every surface for square and for flatness. If any sliver of light showed under the square he bounced the piece, and sent me back to the bench to do better. The piece also had to be within the tolerance he specified.  Father Hennessey was a tough, but fair teacher.

The next project was a more complicated. We had to make a chevron-shield with separate wooden letter “M” applied to it. The last project was a table lamp that looked like a hand water pump. Pushing on the pump handle turned on the light. This little lamp was in continuous use over the years serving me well at all of my desks.

Fr. H. was a tough disciplinarian. If he caught you using a tool incorrectly, he jerked it out of your hand, and hit you with it. He also had a habit of squeezing the muscle on your shoulder, the one that stretches from your neck to the shoulder. It hurt so bad that I dropped to the floor to get out of the grip. Fr. H. hardly ever had a problem with anybody in his class.

Safety was paramount in the shop. During my semester there was not a single incidence of injury. Even though the school shop had all the power tools as I used at Tuley Park, I never got to use any of them.  Only Fr. Hennessey ever used the tools powered by electricity. The experience gave me an appreciation for the term “handmade.”

Ka-Pow

Family Bathroom sign

Image via Wikipedia

For the last few days, I have spent a couple of hours cleaning my shop.  I need some physical activity to keep me from going insane during the recovery from this flu. Each day, I came up from the man-cave and had to take a nap. Today, I didn’t. That’s progress. While I was moving stuff around yesterday, I unboxed a base cabinet that I had reserved for my bathroom. Most builders put the cabinets in place without modification. My bathroom has multiple angled walls and needs special cabinets.

After the cabinet was out of the box I examined it for how to proceed. The neurons were working full force, and within a few minutes, I disassembled a perfectly great cabinet in order to modify it to my specs.  I spent most of the day cutting, fitting, glueing, and screwing the pieces back together. The cuts kept getting fancier, and on the last cleat I had to tilt the saw blade at an extreme angle. I turned on the machine and got a tremendous flash and ka-pow. The lights went out. I haven’t blown a fuse on a machine in over forty years. Oddly enough, I had not even put the wood on the table yet. The machine did not like the set up.

Now, I have a new problem to solve, i.e. what went wrong with the saw? In the meantime, I’ll finish the job with hand tools.

2010 in review, Report Card

Japan Airlines 747-400 at London Heathrow Airport

Image via Wikipedia

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 12,000 times in 2010. That’s about 29 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 172 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 427 posts. There were 648 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 1gb. That’s about 2 pictures per day.

The busiest day of the year was January 6th with 420 views. The most popular post that day was Have We Learned Anything in 62 Years?.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were mail.yahoo.com, WordPress Dashboard, facebook.com, sz0169.ev.mail.comcast.net, and netmail.verizon.net.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for obamacare, hot rods, colonoscopy cartoon, city upon a hill, and black mamba.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

Have We Learned Anything in 62 Years? January 2010

2

I Prefer Hot Rods with Fenders July 2009
3 comments

3

Cartoons-2009 May 2009
3 comments

4

Needed Downtime March 2009
2 comments

5

I’m 63 and I’m Tired March 2010

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