“Lexophile” describes those that have a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, “To write with a broken pencil is pointless.”
An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create
the best original lexophile.
This year’s submissions.
I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club,
but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.
I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says
he can stop any time.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old
was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?
He’s all right now.
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now
fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because
she couldn’t control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
When chemists die, they barium.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
I Lost the Race
No one knew I was running in a race until I announced it today. What kind of race was it? It is the race to finish building a house in a house(HIAH), and installing a new kind of floor, against planting a garden. Our spring weather has been cold and rainy thus spurring me to […]
Swedish Death Cleaning
Today, I spent the day clearing my desk. It never ceases to amaze me as to what I find on the day I clear my desk. Since I have been busy building a house in a house and frustrating myself with a floor installation that is over my head, my desk has piled high with […]
Sad News
There are so many things racing through my mind I don’t really know what to write about and writing about everything will only make things worse. So I must pick one topic and stay with it. This morning I received a call from the wife of a very dear friend. The instant I saw her […]
Filed under: Education, Humor | Tagged: Lexophile, Play on words | Leave a comment »
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