“Lexophile” describes those that have a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, “To write with a broken pencil is pointless.”
An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create
the best original lexophile.
This year’s submissions.
I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club,
but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.
I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says
he can stop any time.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old
was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?
He’s all right now.
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now
fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.
I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because
she couldn’t control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
When chemists die, they barium.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
I Stepped In It Again
Today I decided that some of my problems with a slow computer is the result of using Norton anti-virus protection. The decision was predicated on receiving an e-mail invoice from Norton reminding my subscription was up for renewal. Not trusting the e-mail request I went seeking the Norton web page where I could opt out.…
Dumb Luck, Or An Angel?
After two days of complaining about Apple and their inability to download an update without scrambling the brain in my computer the solution arrived. I had an understanding boss once who told me to go home and sleep on it, I thought he was nuts. Back then I was struggling to solve a product failure…
A Proposal to Big Tech
This week I posted about the way my desk top computer had its brain scrambled with updates. Today, I propose a way to fix the problem forever. Nearly everyday we hear about the virtues of Artificial Intelligence (AI). My proposal is this; instead of using AI to displace humans from the work force, how about…
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