210611-PSA-Fun With Words

“Lexophile” describes those that have a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, “To write with a broken pencil is pointless.”

An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create
the best original lexophile.

This year’s submissions.

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club,
but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.

I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says
he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old
was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?
He’s all right now.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now
fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because
she couldn’t control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

You Could Be a Winner

It has been awhile since I posted last. It has been a busy month for me as a husband, father, grandfather, Lion, and friend. Let me start with one of my most favorite passions, the Lions Club. Throughout my life I hated the task of raising money for causes. For the past seventeen years I […]

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Gremlins In the Workplace

It has been a few days since WordPress suddenly without warning turned half of my screen black. That caused me to panic and waste a lot of time trying to figure out what I did wrong. Even more time was lost trying to make the black screen go away. Evidently a reboot was necessary. If […]

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Rambling Man Annoying and Creepy

When I was very young I enjoyed listening to the stories of my grandfather. He and his farm buddies often sat under the big willow tree sipping beer and spinning yarns. Most of the time they spoke in Hungarian and I could only decipher words they used most often and generously within their conversation. It […]

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