Tea Party Ahead of Obama

Posted on 12/05/2011 by Grumpa Joe

During his recent speech in El Paso, President Obama thought he was being funny when he stated the Republicans want him to “build a moat along the Mexico-USA border, and, they want to put alligators in it.”

Maybe the President reads chain e-mails because I received this suggestion many times from my Tea Party friends for two years. What he fails to realize is that building a moat would bring the economy back by putting millions of people to work. It would be a joint venture with Mexico and the U.S.A. Think about the number of Mexicans that would stay home to work on the moat. The economy of the world would improve. How?  I suggest the moat be expanded into a canal connecting the Pacific Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico. What a bonanza to shipping that would become. Oil being shipped to the Gulf refineries and to the Eastern U.S. would save hundreds of miles and save thousands of gallons of diesel fuel, thus reducing the carbon footprint and guaranteeing the end of man-made global warming.

This supposedly intelligent man fails to see the wisdom of this idea. It is a win-win situation. Implementing this plan would guarantee his second term. He can then steer his excess campaign funds to a Swiss bank for later retrieval. During his retirement he can use the Swiss account to buy Saudi Arabia and rule the Mideast as the true muslim he is.

By the way, this is my second serious proposal for solving the illegal immigration problem. I posted a piece titled Shovel Ready in October of 2010. Follow the link.
Obama will get a bill for a trillion dollars for my consulting services. I will put the money into a trust for all the grandkids he stole it from.

Related articles

Filed under: Cartoons, Conservative, economy, Election, Government, Satire | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

My Latest Prediction. Want to Bet?

Posted on 11/05/2011 by Grumpa Joe

A year ago I posted the above  cartoon about the Gulf oil spill. I predicted that BP would solve the problem sooner than the government would do anything to stop the spill of money they borrow. Well, I’m here to tell you, the government hasn’t stopped the borrowing, and the oil leak is fixed. When I drew the cartoon the debt was 13 trillion dollars, now it is 14 trillion. They can spend money faster than I can draw cartoons.

My latest prediction is that the 172 million gallons of oil spilled into the Gulf will break down into its natural organic components before the government balances its budget, eliminates the deficit, and begins to live within its means.

Related articles

Filed under: Cartoons, Conservative, economy, Government, liberals, politics | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

“You Look Green. . .”

Posted on 11/01/2011 by Grumpa Joe

My Cousin Sharon trades e-stuff with me on a daily basis. Today, she sent an invitation to go fishing on a special excursion. The description of the trip, and the photos attached, evoked memories of a time when I went deep-sea fishing on the Gulf of Mexico.

First, I will share the invitation; then I will post my response, then the photos.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The Invitation

A friend of mine is planning a fishing excursion to Stewart Island (New Zealand) next week.

This is not a normal fishing boat jaunt.  This is 5-star stuff. All gear, food, booze, supplied.  The works!

Relax in the spa pool and watch the sun set over Mount Anglem. Then, gather around the piano and the well-stocked bar for an evening of romantic something.

Expressions of interest are invited for this ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ experience.

Publicity photographs attached.

Let me know if you want to go.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

My Response

Sharon:

Back in the 1980’s, I was on a fishing junket like the one shown in these photos. I was a guest of Monsanto. They invited me to visit their technical center in Pensacola, Florida in March for a seminar on nylon plastic. What the heck, it was near the end of a long hard Chicago winter, and we needed some sun and fun. Barb was with me. When school was out, the boyz went deep-sea fishing on a forty-foot charter boat in the Gulf of Mexico. My colleague’s wives’ took Barb sailing on Pensacola Bay.

The coolers were stocked with every food and drink imaginable, what a great day it promised to be. We motored out of port on the flat water of Pensacola Bay. I dove into the goodies and had a breakfast of cold greasy sausage on a croissant chased by a beer. The Captain kept his speed down as we motored the bay.  We passed the breakwater into the Gulf when he kicked it into high-speed.

Instantly, I learned the meaning of seasickness. The boat was ours for the day, but in my mind all I kept saying was turn back, turn back, take me fishing in the bay.

Catching a fish was a challenge. I rotated between hanging on for dear life, and running to the head, all the while holding on to a pole. It was eight hours that seemed like eight days. The boat rocked, rolled, swayed, bobbed, and dipped; all at the same time. We dipped, and a wall of water surrounded the boat. Oh my God! We are going down. We bobbed, and all we saw was sky. I never wanted my life to end as much as I did that day.

It finally did end, and we reentered Pensacola Bay. The water was instantly flat; the seasickness disappeared as quickly as it came.  Life was good again.

Barb met me at the dock all bubbly to tell me about her great day of sailing on the bay. She took one look at me, and said, “You look green, are you okay?”

Thanks for sharing the invitation; it brought back memories of the “good old days.”

Not.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The Photos

This slideshow requires JavaScript.


Filed under: Biography, family, Manufacturing, religion, Warm and Fuzzy | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »