Squeeze Contest

Posted on 17/11/2013 by Grumpa Joe
This image shows a whole and a cut lemon.

This image shows a whole and a cut lemon. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Squeezer
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet.  The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron.  Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.Many people had tried …. Over time: weightlifters, longshoremen, etc., but nobody could do it.  One day, this scrawny little fellow came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a small voice, “I’d like to try the bet.”After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, “OK”; grabbed the lemon; and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little fellow.  But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence …. As the man clenched his little fist around the lemon …. And six drops fell into the glass.As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man: “What do you do for a living?  Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?”The little fellow quietly replied: “I work for the IRS.”

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An Old Dog Who Knows Better Verifies It

Posted on 16/09/2013 by Grumpa Joe

Quite often I lecture Miss Peggy about the evils of placing plastic restaurant take home containers into the micro-wave to reheat a meal. She always listens and we place the food into a glass or ceramic container to heat. On this day, I got lazy and decided to test a particular takeout container; it appeared somewhat heavier than most we have received. Why not? I was being lazy and placed the food into the micro within the original take-home clamshell. I set the cook time for two minutes and felt nothing would happen in so short a time. WRONG! I looked at the container at one minute and forty-five seconds and jumped to shut the machine off. The sturdy plastic container was about to encapsulate my lunch. The issue here is that I know better. Having spent forty years molding various plastics and reading many Material Safety Data Sheets (MSDS) about the limits of plastics, I knew that styrene has an extremely low melt point. I knew that styrene is amorphous therefore it softens into the liquid state, as opposed to a crystalline material that has a sharp melt point like ice. Ice reaches the melt temp before it begins to melt. I knew that a low melt temp plastic like styrene also has a low combustion temperature just above the melt temperature. I knew that most plastics will outgas carcinogenic gasses, and or, breakdown into dangerous chemical components. Yet, I foolishly experimented anyway. What a doofus. When the product description warns you to use a micro-wave safe container to heat please heed the warning. So what is a micro-wave safe container? The safest is glass or ceramic. There are some plastics that can take the heat of the microwave, and they will be labeled as such. Please read all warnings and cautions that come with the container. DSCN4682 DSCN4681

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A Shot Rang Out

Posted on 18/06/2009 by Grumpa Joe

A sharp noise shot through our house. Peg looked up from the kitchen and asked  “what was that.” I sat at my desk, and asked her “what was that.”  We searched the house for broken windows. Often a bird will run into a window and break his neck. No birds, no broken windows. We talked about the noise and tried to understand what it could have been. It definitely sounded like glass being broken.

Later in the day, Peg  noticed some shiny stuff on the carpet in the living room. She looked up to the glass table and screamed, “Joe come quick. Look at this.”  I came and looked, “That’s the noise we heard Peg.”

Our contemproary end table has a glass top with four stainless steel legs glued to it.  A huge crack separated one leg from the remainder of the table. The shiny stuff on the carpet was shattered glass dust.

Cracked Glass Table Made by Progressive Furniture

Peg was furious and called Darvin immediately. We bought all of our living room tables from them less than four years ago. This end table is one of four pieces we have. Darvin furniture looked up our purchase and told us their warranty is only good for one year, there is nothing they will do about it. Peg asked to speak to the manager.

A short time later, the manager from Darvin Furniture called, and reiterated what we were told earlier. I asked him if we could buy a replacement. No, the table is no longer made. “Okay, can you tell me who makes the table? “Progressive Furniture from Ohio. I sent them an e-mail asking if they could help out with a replacement, I attached a photo as evidence. It’s been six weeks since I sent it.  They have not replied.  So much for customer service.

Today, Peg and I took a photo of the broken table to Tinley Glass. I am hoping they can replace the top.  The lady behind the counter looked at the picture  and said, “come with me.”  She walked us to a table they took in for repair. It was the exact same table. The glass was cracked in the exact same spot. They could have been twins. Now what are the chances of that happening?  How much of a coincidence is it that two totally different people bring in the exact same model of table with a crack in the exact same location, to the same glass company for repair, at the exact same time in history?

Up til now, I suspected that Progressive Furniture had a defect in the product, now I am absolutely sure of it.

By the way, the cost to replace the top is 1.5 times  more than the original cost of the table.

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